happiness moment of the day: sitting in the kitchen tonight having delicious lemon cake and telling stories with my parents and kids about funny things from my childhood and theirs. It’s good to be home.
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Don’t worry, it’s only anxiety
The other night I was sitting in urgent care dealing with things I know absolutely nothing about. But since we were there for hours and there’s really no privacy with just those curtains I had ample opportunity to listen in on the complaints of the woman in the bed next to us.
As soon as I heard her listing her symptoms I thought I know what her issue is. She was in convinced she was having a heart attack or something similar. Chest pain, dizziness, shaking, feeling off, difficulty focusing mentally. As she was listing these symptoms I remembered a time where I too sat alone in urgent care convinced I was dying.
It’s a terrible feeling.
Panic attack.
The nurse gave her some ideas of how to deal. Cut back to one cup of coffee or tea a day. Herbal tea is fine. She asked about green tea and was told that was fine too. That was when I wanted to leap through the curtain and talk to her. Because green tea is not herbal and that caffeine is enough to trigger more anxiety. She finished with and lose 5-10 pounds That will help with your high blood pressure. Which, while that may be true isn’t what you need to hear while in the middle of a panic attack.
When I started studying Ayurveda I was one hot mess of anxiety. It wasn’t pretty and I was barely able to function. Over the past couple of years I have turned into a better version of myself (Melissa 2.0) and have been able to handle things I never thought possible.
Here’s what I would like to have said to that poor lady.
Sleep. Make sure you’re getting a good night’s sleep. Even if it means giving up doing other things you like to do. Get to bed by 9. Be asleep by 10. Sleep until at least 6 It’s when your body heals and restores itself. Honour this time.
Nap. Napping isn’t generally recommended in Ayurveda, but there are certain circumstances when it is encouraged. When I was in the worst of my anxiety I was so run down I had no reserves left. I used to have a cup of tea every afternoon when I would crash. I switched that for a 20-30 minute nap during my healing phase. It was a game changer.
Caffeine. Give it up. Seriously. After a while you won’t miss it (as much). I really noticed how it triggered my anxiety. While you’re at it give up booze. It tricks you into feeling like it relaxes you when really it causes more anxiety.
Get out in nature. My daily walks along the river in Roanoke literally saved my life. It was a peaceful, quiet time with no distractions. I went electronic free and just relaxed into enjoying the water, the birds, and my dog.
Be picky about what you put in your brain I used to love watching Law and Order and other crime shows. About 4 years ago I started being much more careful about the types of shows I watched and the types of books I read. While in anxious mode it was much, much better to be putting happy thoughts into my head. Hence my current obsession with The Golden Girls.
Clear the toxic people out of your life. I know, easier said than done. But sometimes there are people who seem to feed off your anxiety. Who seem to feel a stronger sense of power when you are anxious and insecure. There are people who are carrying so much of their own baggage they are happy to dump their negativity on you. People with no boundaries who would rather bring you down than lift you up. Be a good friend, surround yourself with good friends.
Find your bliss. Easy right? Maybe for some people. I’m 44 and still wonder what I’ll be when I grow up. But a few years ago I read a book by Steven Cope (from Kriplau) called The Great Work Of Your Life It started me on the path of actively finding my bliss. I find it in my Ayurvedic studies, in my yoga, in my writing, in my time with my kids. It hasn’t made me a millionaire yet, but I’m sure a lot happier following my heart.
Listen to your intuition. How many times in life I’ve done things that go against what I believe is right to try and make someone else happy. In the end, without fail, it not only makes me miserable – but the person I’m trying to please is never satisfied either.
Breathe. Seriously. Just stop and breathe. But the best method I’ve found for an instant anxiety cure is alternate nostril breathing. Use your thumb and ring finger to cover each nostril. Release the thumb, breathe in, cover nostril again. Release the ring finger, breathe out. Breathe in on the same side, cover nostril. Keep alternating. Do it for a few minutes or until you feel calmer. I’ve done it for a good 20 minutes before. It’s very relaxing.
Have faith that you are worth it. My pastor continuously says you are a loved child of God. No matter what your beliefs understand that you have value and you are ok just the way you are.
Happiness moment of the day: hiding in the corner of the grocery store with the kids pretending to look at cake and giggling while downloading and updating our mobile devices. This is what happens when you finish shopping before updating. Life without wifi makes one resourceful.
Doing the right thing
A few days ago I rented a rug doctor from our grocery store. I love the instant gratification of cleaning carpets. And with the rug doctor I get to choose what I put on the carpet. This time it was vinegar and my DoTerra Wild Orange essential oil. The house smelled so good after.
Then the movers came. Now our house is dirty again and covered in boxes. Chaos. I can’t wait until it’s all sorted out again. Calmness.
When I went to return the rug doctor everything seemed fine. After I was doing some shopping and the lady came and said the filter was missing. I knew I’d seen it when I put it in the car. We searched the car. Nothing. Went back in and said we’d have to go look at home. She was adamant we needed it (fair enough, it was a part of the vacuum).
We went home and wham chaos for the next day and a half. There was enough big stuff going on there was no time to deal with small things.
But in the back of my head kept playing the conversation I’d had with Jacob on the way home. About how frustrated I was. About how we’d already returned the vacuum and had our deposit refunded before she noticed it was gone. About Jacob chiming in that then it was her responsibility. That was not setting well with me.
It may not have been my fault the filter was missing but it certainly wasn’t her fault either.
What kind of example was I setting for Jacob? Aside from that it wasn’t sitting well in my conscience. Once the other fires were out I knew I had to deal with it.
I called her today and apologized for not getting back sooner. Said (without any details) there had been a family emergency and I hadn’t been able to deal with it. That I’d looked and looked and couldn’t find it. That I would drive into town in a bit and find out what we needed to do to make it right.
Thinking ughhhhh how much is this going to cost???
She called me back a little while later and said she’d talked to rug doctor and they’d agreed to just send a replacement. That family was the most important thing and my focus should be there not worrying about a silly filter.
My happiness moment for today was the good feeling of knowing I did the right thing and the added bonus of being rewarded for it.
Quack quack. Look at me.
Today Jenna joined me on her bike while I took Dottie for a walk. Even though I know better I got fooled by the calmness of the protected yard and we were almost blown away waking down the road.
When we were coming back we saw a big bird flying over the slough. We stopped to figure out if it was a hawk or an eagle. As we were standing there staring at it and having a great discussion about what it was a mallard duck flew right up in front of us. It then got down on our level and very loudly quacked itself in about a 10 foot circle around us. Quack quack. Look at me. Quack quack. Then he flew off leaving us looking at what was very obviously a hawk.
We giggled at the attention issues the duck had. I’ve never seen a bird so badly need to be noticed.
As we were getting closer to home Jenna started riding her bike around me yelling quack quack. Look at me mommy. Quack quack.
The happness moment for the day.
Later while driving a bald eagle did fly by us and do a nice lazy circle before flying off.
We have arrived.
My exhausted happiness for the day is that our wonderful home is filled with our wonderful things with lots of help from my wonderful family. Let the unpacking begin!
Glamping
Today ends our Glamping (glam camping) trip. For the past few weeks we’ve had a whole house set up with borrowed furniture (some of it lawn) from family. Which has been so kind and actually sort of fun. But today our stuff cleared customs and tomorrow it gets filled (somehow) into the house. We are so excited.
But today we made use of the empty space. Ella started climbing up the dog kennel and scratching at her kennel this morning. This was odd behavior because it was just bought for her flight here and isn’t a safe place for her to go. I went over to see what she was doing and found a mouse that my husband had snuck inside for her to play with. Almost 3 weeks go by and she decides to find the mouse.
So we played fetch across the red carpet
See the Glamping style chairs? They’re actually very comfortable.
I am so jealous because while I was out at customs the kids built a huge fort city in the open rooms and are going to have the sleepover to end all sleepovers with their cousins tonight.
A happiness moment.
However, my happiness moment today was out on my morning walk when the swans flew honking along with me. I love them.
💤💤💤💤 nap time 💤💤💤
In my Ayurvedic course we had a discussion about kids with ADD and how sometimes being chronically sleep deprived presents the same symptoms
We discussed how kids will sometimes use electronics to stmulate their brains to stay awake when they naturally would want to fall asleep. I agreed with this theory but kind of out it out of my mind
This morning I woke up at 5 I got up , had breakfast and some tea, and sat in my chair reading for a while. I soon discovered that I was exhausted and that no one wanted or need anything from me in that particular moment. I headed back up to bed for the most delicious nap.
Usually in Ayurveda they say not to nap during the day, but there are certain circumstances where it is recommended and right now I fit quite a few of them. There has been so much going on that I’m physically and mentally exhausted.
So I slept. And it was awesome. And when I woke again two hours later (giggle) I felt ready to take on the world.
I realized when I woke up that had we had a tv here I probably would have plunked in front of it and not napped when I obviously really needed to. I can see how it adds to sleep deprivation.
It was the beginning of the happiness moment of my day. It actually set me up for my happiness moment which happened tonight while walking with the kids and the dogs
It also kind of happened earlier today at Target with Jacob. Man, he’s a funny kid 
Icicle
I have to admit, when I woke up this morning and looked out and saw there was still snow on the ground I rolled over and moaned “nooooo, it’s Apirl 7. Snow? Still?” I am a summer person.
But Jenna, Jenna came running to me later in the morning when we were getting ready to go over to my parents’ place and said “mommy, you need to come out back so I can show you the icicles.”
She was so excited, I grumbled my way around the back of the house, and sure enough, there on the roof of the mud room were a row of wonderful icicles hanging.
She grabbed one and ran off with it.
She sucked on that icicle the whole time I showered and got ready, kept it in the car with her the entire way into town and finally announced at the door of her grandma’s house that she was done with it and threw it on the lawn (it was a much, much smaller version by that time).
Her finding joy in the weather, appreciating the sun and the icicles and the beautiful morning was my moment of happiness today.
Except that before all of that,
This
Happened:
I had been sitting having my morning cup of tea watching the Golden Girls when I was joined by Jacob shortly followed by Jenna. They sat and giggled and watched the episode with me and when it was over I went to turn of my iPad and move on with the morning. Both of them informed me that they weren’t done watching and wanted to see the next episode. Fun family bonding time – also a heart warming happiness moment.
We needed them because there were some unpleasant moments today too. I am so grateful that I have the intention to focus on and find a happiness moment in every day.
I am completely humbled by the grace and bravery of my dad. I learn so much about how to be a quietly strong person from him.
And the card attached would say, thank you for being a friend
A rather poor picture of a very delicious strawberry cheesecake made by my aunt 
When I was a teenager one of my favourite downtime activities was sitting with my sister and watching an episode of The Golden Girls. I loved sharing a half hour with Rose, Blanche, Sophia and Dorothy.
Last Christmas I bought season one on iTunes and watched it on our trip from Roanoke to Calgary. When we found ourselves moving back to Calgary a couple of weeks ago I downloaded the second season. Living in a house with no television, no wifi, and none of our books; these girls have entertained me during my quiet times.
What I have found interesting is that I still love them just as much 25 years later. I’m discovering that a lot of the jokes went over my head as a teen. But considering that I’m now in my 40s (gasp) and still younger than those girls I’m impressed with the age range they appeal to. I don’t ever remember thinking it was an old people’s show as a teen and I don’t feel that way now.
Today after lunch I sat down with a small piece of the cheesecake my aunt made for Easter supper last night and turned my iPad onto The Golden Girls. It wasn’t long before 10 year old Jenna grabbed a piece of cake and sat down beside me and started watching along.
Sitting watching The Golden Girls and eating cheesecake with my daughter. My happiness moment for today.
Easter Sunday
This was our Easter morning view. A little snowy but beautiful all the same. To me Easter is a Vancouver Island thing with flowers and the ocean and walking logs by the beach on the way into Sidney for lunch.
But Easter here is pretty amazing too.
We saw this on the way home from church. Pretty majestic. 
Happiness moment of the day was a family meal at my cousin’s place I so love those times. Lots of love and laughter. I was extra heart warmed that part of the blessing included gratitude that we have come home.
What a blessed Easter
