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The best days of my life 

Today was one of those big happiness days. We packed so much into the day, I’m kind of amazed I’m still upright- and it’s only 9pm. 

Jenna and I did a last hurrah road trip for the summer. We went to Waterton, which is one of my happiness places. 

On the way there we stopped in Pincher Creek and had lunch with one of my forever friends. I can’t remember meeting her, she’s just always kind of been there. I was probably around 6 though and we were on our ponies in Pony Club when we would have met. We have seen each other through almost every phase of life. 

This last phase (the holy crap we are adults one) has been a bit more challenging though, as we both have lived a bit of the gypsy lifestyle and moved all over the place – and usually in opposite directions. 

Thanks partially to social media but mostly to a solid foundation, we were able to sit down today after a 14 year absence and yack non stop the entire lunch – while Jenna sat there looking at is like we were aliens. Why are you guys speaking  in  two word sentences and then doubling  over in laughter? 

Because that’s how we have aways been. That lunch was a big happiness moment today. She was around for some of the best days of my life, and even with the difficult emotions of this year, I feel like I am back in the best days of my life. Happiness is growing all around. 

Jenna and I headed to Waterton after our walk. I’d read a blog by BettyLivin and took her advice about a trail towards Blakiston Falls. Of course, I hadn’t read her blog recently and thought I had a better memory than I actually do, so we ended up just walking to the Falls instead of the canyon I was searching for – which still was beautiful and a lot of fun. 

  

Then back to the town for some rock skipping at the lake. An important tradition. 

Bison paddock on the way home. They were only about 30 feet off the road. This was taken with my iPhone. It was a little too close for comfort. We were in our car and on the road, but I still sat there with my foot on the gas. I have no idea how the guy on a buffalo (who is a family friend) ever got on one of those. No thank you. 
   

I’m so grateful these best days of my life keep coming. I’m thankful for old friends I’m reconnecting with and new ones I’m making. For the feeling of stability and security. For the smiles of joy on my kids’ faces as they tell me how happy they are to be home. There is much that is right in the world. 

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My fairy godmother. 

I am really lucky in the godmother department. When I was a kid, my godmother really was like a fairy godmother – always stopping by with treats, good cheer, and a twinkle in her eye. She is the standard by which godmothers are set. I’m afraid I’ve failed terribly in comparison in my appointment with my niece, but it is an incredibly hard act to follow. 

This afternoon, her daughter – my sister’s godmother- had us over for tea. Not your North American tea either please and thank you. High tea (they are Scottish) with scones and jam, little sandwiches, butter tarts…. you get the picture. 

We sat outside and visited – something we have not done properly in years. Something that was so important to do with these life long friends who are family. They have been an incredibly important part of my life and it was a very blessed happiness moment to get to spend the afternoon with them.  

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Friendship. 

I had tea today with a dear friend. She’s a wonderful combination of friend and family – I have always felt so comfortable around her and we have always been able to talk about anything. We sat on out on her beautiful deck looking at the mountains and fields and sky and chatted for hours. I love the kind of friendship where you can talk about everything and nothing. 

She said something today that made me think about the effort I need to put into my friendships – even these easy ones. Maybe especially these easy ones. She didn’t say this in relation to me, yet it hit home. It was that some of us want to have friends, we complain about not having friends or spending enough time with friends – yet we don’t want to put in the effort that comes with having a friend. I’m so like that. I never get together with my friends. What? Go out tonight? But I’m tired. I want to go to bed and read.  It’s the unfortunate price of being an introvert. Yet when I’m out and with my friends I’m so happy. 

So, I need to stay mindful of putting in that effort because it brings me joy. 

Sitting with her and chin-wagging was a happiness moment. 

A bonus one was coming home to a bored little girl and doing this to entertain her:

   
   
Like a friendship, it took some effort – an hour to catch and tack up the horses – but so worth it. I actually enjoy the process of riding almost as much as the actual riding. 

I mentioned during my visit today that if I could pick what I wanted to be when I grow up that it would be what I’m doing right now. I love being with the kids, being a mom full time, working on strengthening all of our relationships. I am very blessed and grateful. 

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The community hall 

One of the most difficult things about leaving home 10 years ago was the loss of our community. We moved to three very different places with three very different cultures (Quebec, New England, and Southern Virginia). We learned a lot, made some friends and did our best to settle in, but nowhere was home like it is here. 

My family is lucky enough to be a part of a very special community. Being from an old ranching family, most of the people in our area are either related or have been neighbors for 150 years. This makes for some strong bonds, some strife, and some fun parties. 

We have an old community hall which is not far from my house. My grandparents generation built the hall and brought the community together there. Actually, I learned today that the same people who put the wood on the old house I’m living in did the inside of the hall. 

There are old pictures of parties at the hall. My grandpa playing the fiddle, and various other relatives playing instruments while people danced. As a kid, I remember going to dances there. Well, to be clear us kids got to go to the pre dance dance because later on it got a little wild (as an adult later on I went to these dances and I agree with that assessment).   We would dance around, do the Butterfly, giggle with friends and cousins, and sit on the phone two seater outhouse and talk about how cool it was (they have indoor plumbing now thank goodness). 

At Christmas time, families would gather there for the annual Christmas concert. We would preform whatever talents we had, and at the end of the evening Santa would arrive and give us all presents. We used to call Santa on one of those old fashioned phones attached to a wall to see how much longer he was going to be. Some of my favorite Christmas memories are of those parties. 

Every year there’s a Stampede breakfast and the community comes together to visit and eat. It’s a great way to catch up on what everyone’s up to and it’s one of those events that you know all the old aunts and uncles are going to be at. 

It is a true community and I appreciate it now even more than I did before we left. Being a part of this tribe has always grounded me and made me feel at home and safe. 

My happiness moment today was going to a bridal shower at the hall. The bride has also been gone from the community for quite a few years. Yet everyone showed up to support her and celebrate with her. We sat around and looked at presents, visited, drank tea, and ate all those yummy treats that only show up at hall parties. This happiness moment made me shine from the inside out. I am so blessed to be part of this community, and I now to get to bring the kids up here in this safety net of love. 

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I lava you. 

  

It was rainy and cold today. Like 8C cold, and I could see my breath while walking home tonight. Brrrrrrr. Time to invest in some slippers to keep my feet warm. I also could use a nose slipper. I don’t like a cold nose. 

I woke up at 6 and had breakfast. Since the house was quiet I went back to bed and lay there reading. Apparently I fell asleep because the next thing I knew it was 11. The happiness moment in a rainy day – having nothing to do besides relax and recharge. 

After a significant amount of doing nothing,  I took the kids and cousin kids into town to see Inside Out again. It was even better than the first time. It amazes me how that movie has opened the way for discussions about emotions that we would never have been able to have. I find this particularly with Jacob. He uses the emotion balls and the emotion personalities to dig to such a deep level of emotional exploration. Without having been given this vocabulary he would have never been able to express himself so well. I am so grateful for this. It has deepened our relationship- and as he walks farther into these teen years I want him to always be able to express his emotions with me knowing that it is always safe. Extra happiness moment today. 

I love the Lava short film at the beginning. It’s so cute. And deep. And happy/sad. 

  
We go to bed happy and relaxed. Full of all those emotions, but mostly Joy. 

  

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It’s MY happiness moment. 

We had to go into the mall today. Kind of a bummer because  it was 31C out and since it’s the 11th of August, summer could end without  notice. That said, at least we were going to the store for a fun shopping experience. I was buying a birthday present for a niece and it included a stop at Lululemon. 

Say what you will about the place, I always have a happy shopping experience at Lululemon. Sure, the clothes run a bit pricy – but I love them, and I’ve noticed all clothes everywhere are pricy. I balance my obsession by doing the rest of our shopping  at TJ Maxx or Winners. 

Jenna and I played around in the store, for the first time ever I even let her try on some clothes (something I’d avoided as I didn’t want to share my small funding for my clothes with her) and she had a blast. She brought in a whole bunch of clothes and found a pair of OM Pants that were on sale. Thank goodness for their sales. I bought her the pair for her first day of school, got the gift certificate and we ran out of the store before I weakened and bought everything in sight. 

As we were standing in the mall figuring where to go next Jenna sat on the Lululemon wall and said mommy, take a picture of me. 

  

She was very insistent that I take the picture and wanted it to be a good one. When I asked her why she was making such a big deal of it, she said I want you to write about it in your blog mommy. I want this to be your happiness moment today because it’s my happiness moment. She reached over and grabbed my hand. I want us to share our happiness moment today. 

What a sweetheart. And that right there was my happiness moment. 

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Forgive us our trespasses. 

My cousin invited us to go to her church this morning. They have been studying the Lord’s Prayer and today she was doing the sermon based on forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. 

Heavy stuff. 

That forgiveness thing is hard work. I think by a certain age we have all been hurt or betrayed by someone we love, and learning how to come to terms with that can be excruciating. As she said, when you are hurt by someone you love and trust you feel like one of the laws of life have been broken.  Our inner circle of trusted people aren’t supposed to betray us, and when they do it is a life altering experience. 

I struggle with the knowledge that I need to forgive. That the anger I hold towards the betrayer is really only damaging me. But forgiveness is such a complex thing. I feel like we have been taught (or maybe just I was taught) that what we need to do is just forgive and move on. But sometimes the hurt has cut so deep that it’s not that simple. Then I feel like a failure when I have tried to forgive but I just can’t do it.

But forgiveness is a process. And when it’s a deep hurt sometimes that process takes time. Like a lot of time. I need to honour that process. 

Then there is the whole turn the other cheek idea that also seems to be a part of this forgiveness path. My cousin talked (and even had it acted out) about what turning the other cheek really means. How it’s not about continuing to be a victim to the person who is hurting   you, but rather a non violent means of regaining your power and your dignity. 

Which I needed to hear, because  when I get hurt my gut instinct is to make that person feel hurt back – or at the very least let other people know what an ass they have been. But, there is a dignity that is gained by taking the high road and not dropping to their level. Honestly, if it’s a personality trait in the other person, eventually other people see it as well and there is no point in you having also become someone inflicting pain. Easier said than done, but more rewarding in the end. There’s also that small fact that we are all imperfect people trying to do our best – this does not mean that I need to let that forgiven betrayer back into my inner circle of trusted people. But it’s important to remember that if I’m a loved child of God, then so are they. 

I believe that things come to you when you need them. I really needed to her her sermon today. I need to actively continue my process of forgiveness. For my own soul and health, to make me a better person. Hearing these wise and well thought out words from someone I love and respect made them have all the more impact. 

I need to keep working and allowing that process. Listening to her sermon was my spiritual happiness moment today. 

My other joyful happiness moment was this afternoon. The kids and I went to the creek for a swim. It’s still warm water in our mountain creek – huge bonus- and the swimming holes are so deep the kids brought snorkels and flippers. I watched them swim up and down for hours. 

 

When they were done we sat on the shore staring at the water in silence. Jacob sighed and said I miss grandpa. Being at the creek was something he loved so much, and he was always so good about playing with the kids. But then instead of just sitting and crying (ok I admit I sat and cried) we shared memories of fun things we had done with him, memories of things he’d told us, and then moved into the present and future and talked about when we would swim next and which hill looked good for tobogganing this winter. Which is what Dad would want I think – for us to keep loving and living and looking ahead while remembering the past. I miss him so much, especially at times like that. But he gave us a lot of good things to hold onto and move forward with. 

We are very blessed. 
  

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Coming home 

 It is so important to have somewhere you can come home to. Whether that is a physical location or a state of mind- we all need that safe place where we can relax and be ourselves and be loved. 

Tonight we celebrated the coming home of more family who are living away – who have  a home away from home, and yet always know that there is the safety and security of this original home. It was so good for my soul to have this little celebration and visit with cousins I haven’t seen in too long – to see a little who was a babe the last time I saw him and now is an amazing kid with the cute high pitched helium like voice. 

I was talking with a cousin tonight about what we would do if we won the lottery. We both agreed that the security would be a huge load off our minds – to know we are cared for and can provide for our loved ones – but that there wasn’t much in the day to day that we would change. We both smiled at each other and said I love my life. There isn’t much that I need to change in it. What a brilliant happiness moment inside a larger happiness moment. The realization that we are living happy lives. 

  

Because we live in the most beautiful place. A lucky rainbow shone on us for a really long time. It kept changing and shifting, but it was celebrating right along with us (thanks Dad). 
 

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