Tag Archives: gratitude

happiness

On Christmas Day (2015)

We went into Christmas Day a little unsure as to how we would feel about it. I was glad I’d already had my huge melt down cry about missing Dad last night at church while singing Silent Night. Still though, I just wasn’t quite sure what a Christmas  would look like without him. 

I felt his presence here so strongly today that for the first time in forever I kept forgetting he isn’t here in body with us anymore. 

And oh did we manage to pack a lot of fun into the day. We ripped into Santa stuff by 6am and shortly after that into the presents. The cousins played, I pulled kids on their sleds…and we ate.  Oh my did we eat!

 Rear view picture 

There was a lot of happiness to be had on this beautiful Christmas Day. We were surrounded by loved ones in the place that my heart loves the most of all… Home. 
I saw happiness everywhere I looked  today. Happiness on the face of my child though is something that brings me joy and delight right to the core of my soul. Seeing their joy today was my happiness moment. That and hearing their giggles as I pulled them down the driveway on their sleds. 

What happiness looks like 

 
This has been a year of deep spiritual growth for me and I am blessed that we were here to celebrate the birth of Jesus with our loved ones. 

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O Holy Night

 I’m making it to bed a half hour before midnight. Better timing than I had thought, all the things are laid out for a beautiful Christmas morning. 

We had a loving, family filled Christmas Eve. Brunch at my cousin’s place followed by supper and church at Grandma’s house.

I only cried once today and that was during Silent Night while we had our candles lit. I couldn’t help but think of Dad. Fortunately the church was dark and no one besides my kids saw (or pointed it out anyway). 

It’s hard without him, but we are going to have a good Christmas. There’s a lot of love in this house. 

Family time today – my happiness moment.  

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Our hometown

When we moved back home last spring I made a very conscious decision that I wanted Cochrane to be our hometown. That’s part of the reason why I arranged for the kids to go to school there, and it’s why we do as much of our shopping and visiting in town as possible.

I have always loved Cochrane, many of my early childhood memories are of events in and around town. I was part of the Cochrane Pony Club for many years, my parents (conveniently) had their law office next door to Mackays for a while, my Grandma lived at the Big Hill Lodge after living out in the country full time became too difficult. I remember parades and rodeos, but mostly I know it’s a place where I can go and always see someone I know.  After years of living away, being where I know people is a big deal. In fact, when we came back I told the kids that every time we went into town we would see some relative. At first they didn’t believe me, but soon they saw that I was in fact telling the truth. I hope it reminds them to behave when they’re out and about without me.

Since coming back, I have joined several Cochrane community groups on Facebook. Something I have noticed over the past couple of days is the fact that many people are raving about random acts of kindness happening in our town. People are leaving Christmas goodies at the doorsteps of those who have beautiful lights on their house as a way to say thank you for sharing the beauty. People are buying each other coffee at Tim Horton’s. One lady bought a tree from Save On and found a pay it forward gift card attached to her tree. There are families who are organizing full Christmas celebrations (gifts and food) to be provided for other families who are having a difficult year.  I love that not only are these beautiful, heartfelt, loving acts being performed, but that people are taking the time to publicly give thanks and acknowledge these wonderful deeds.

How great would the world be if we were all like this all the time? This loving kindness being showered around my hometown is my happiness moment for the day.

photo snagged from tripadvisor.ca 

Cochrane Ranche Park: Men of Vision statue

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Ski time

  

I had three happiness moments today. First, I came home to find my daughter and my niece cross country skiing in the yard. How lovely that it was warm enough that they could play outside in the snow all afternoon. 

With the kids out of the house I was able to wrap presents, this has left me bit happy and relieved. 

And perhaps the greatest happiness of all is the fact that  for the first time since Thursday night, as of this evening we have running water again. I have no idea how my ancestors survived without it, but I’m sure it was with more patience and grace than I showed these past few days. I’m so thankful it’s up and running again! 

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Jacob’s Christmas Miracle 

For the last three years one of the things on Jacob’s Christmas wish list was to be able to see the Northern Lights.  I have always loved them and we used to get to see them as part of the usual winter experience, but not so much for Southern raised Jacob. He’s been waiting and hoping to catch a glimpse of them for years.

Tonight we were outside in the field walking home. It’s so beautiful at night right now, the sky is clear, the moon is almost full and so bright, and there’s enough snow on the ground to really bounce that moonlight back up. It’s a magical time. We looked north, and wouldn’t you know… there were green lights dancing across the sky. We had to stand and stare for a while. Then Jacob and I got so excited and happy that he was finally seeing them that we actually danced in the field under the stars in the moon beam while the Northern Lights danced above us. That was silly and crazy and fun and happy.

We spent about an hour outside watching Mother Nature’s fireworks until the boy and the dog were both so cold (I was actually dressed for the weather for once) that we had to come in.

What a score on a bonus happiness moment for the day.

I tried and tried to get a good photo, but with my iPhone there just was no doing justice to what our eyes got to see. It’s a memory I will hold in my mind and heart forever though.

 

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Family Christmas Party

Today there was a family Christmas party hosted by my Great Aunt and her daughters. She’s the same Great Aunt who holds the annual family Canada Day Party, and these events are so important for us all as times to get together and visit and laugh and share.

I consider myself lucky because I come from a family that has mostly stayed in the same area since my great grandfather and his two brothers came out here in the 1880s to ranch. I think in many ways before we moved away,  I took for granted the strong community bond that we have out here because it was all I knew. It wasn’t until we started moving that I realized how many people are floating around out there without their tribe. I am so happy to be back in mine.

My happiness moment today was a long chat with an old favourite uncle. When I was a kid they used to hold Pony Club at their place – in fact they were known in the area for throwing the best “D” Rally and that was something we all looked forward to. I have memories of being somewhere around 5 or 6 and spending the week there sleeping in a silo at camp, and lots of memories of racing our horses around the cross country course.

In times when I need to dig deep and find some bravery, I think of my times there how they taught me to find that inner strength. Some of it was just out of sheer terror and not wanting to look like a big chicken, but that was only because I looked up to them all so much and  I wanted to be able to keep up with everyone.

When I was 9, I had a rotten (but really cool) horse named Snowflake whom I loved deeply but who had a terrible habit of rearing up when she was nervous. Uncle Harvey was the timekeeper that year and as he looked at me and said “one minute”, Snowflake reared up and I slid right off her bum and landed feet first on the ground. I walked around to her side, someone gave me a leg up, and without missing a beat Uncle Harvey started the countdown 10, 9, 8, 7…. and I was off on the course. I look back at that moment as a really special one in my life, he gave me wings to soar.  First of all, there was a very strict no helping the rider rule – so the fact that I was given a leg up showed that they were quietly supporting me. She was tall and I was small and I used to have to jump up, dig my knee into the stirrup and then climb my way up into the saddle. The fact that my uncle didn’t make a big deal out of what had happened meant that I also didn’t make a big deal out of it.  We ended up not only having a perfectly clear round, but coming in first in every class that day. It was one of my best days as a kid.

It was so lovely to be able to have a long chat with him today. I got to hear all about his family and how they’re doing and just chew the fat a little bit. Even though he doesn’t live that far away, I don’t see him all that often (last time was at the Canada Day Party) so it was a real treat. These family parties are so important for all of us. We need to remember that we are a part of something bigger than ourselves.

Another happiness moment (aside from the general joy in seeing family/neighbours) was seeing smiles on older relatives when they learned that we are living in the old house. Everyone has memories of coming to the old house and visiting, or sometimes living here. One uncle (the twin of my happiness moment uncle) said that his first real bath was taken in the footed tub in our bathroom here. I love that we are living in a home that has so many memories for all of our relatives. It’s a great way of feeling bonded and grounded.

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The Force awakens 

   
Today’s happiness moment was easy. It was the moment I saw the look on the faces of my kid and my nephew as they ran out of the theatre after seeing the new Star Wars movie. 

These two have shared their love of these movies since they were in diapers. How wonderful that they now live close enough that they can share this again. 

 
As a quiet personal happiness moment I spent the time sitting in Starbucks at Indigo sipping tea and reading a book. Melissa bliss. 

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To Grandmother’s house we go

We don’t have water at our house right now, which is one of the side effects of living in an old house in the country (still wouldn’t trade it for anything, I love our home). Fortunately, what we do have is a hero in cowboy boots in the form of my cousin’s husband who has been working hard the last 2 days (in -15 to -20C temperatures) to rectify the situation. It all falls under that Life is an adventure thing. 

Because I don’t do well without showering (and OMG the smell of teens and tweens), we headed into Grandmas for a visit and a shower. She has an endless hot water tank so it was pretty sweet. 

Speaking of sweet, when I got out of the shower I walked into a baking extravaganza in the kitchen. Jenna was rolling and shaping shortbread 

   
On the side of the baking sheet is Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. 

  Jacob walked right over to the fresh bread and made a grilled cheese. As he does whenever he’s in to see grandma.   
Not to be left out, he then jumped in and made gingerbread cookies. 

 
There’s something so special about the relationship kids have with grandparents. I have such fond memories of fun times with my Grandma, I am so happy they get to build memories of their own with their grandmas. I’m extra grateful they were able to make memories with my dad, they’ll cherish those forever as well. 

My happiness moment; hearing my son say life is good as he rolls out gingerbread while his sister hovers behind waiting her turn.  

Grandparents rock!

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Being Canadian

I have always loved being a Canadian, specifically an Albertan, but I love my entire country. I mean, it’s awesome. I may not always be able to describe exactly why it is the best place in the world to live, but I believe it to the bottom of my soul.

When I was trying to figure out what to become when I grow up in my 20s (not knowing that I would be in my 40s and still not know the answer to that question), I fell in love with Canadian History. I took every class I could until I ended up with my B.A. in the subject. It may not be extremely useful in my every day life (especially those 8 years I lived in the States), but I really enjoyed it. One of the best parts was that it gave me a much better understanding of what Canada is (or is not).

I spent some time today watching the documentary Being Canadian, where Robert Cohen took a trip across Canada to answer the question what does it mean to be Canadian? It seems that what he discovered is that  it is almost impossible to explain exactly what it means to be Canadian. This identity of having a non-identity is something that is really difficult to explain to people who aren’t from Canada – something I learned during my time in the States. 

I too bonded with other Canadians while living in the States for the sole reason that we were both Canadian. It was something that had to be mentioned, the same as there is always some kind of acknowledgement when I come across a fellow Lefty. A kind of relief in knowing that you’re not the only one floating around out there.

Also, the fact they had an entire segment about the Beachcombers was incredibly awesome. 

I proudly kept my Canadian sorry in my vocabulary until after living in Southern Virginia, I finally gave it up. I was shocked to live in a place where when someone bumped into me and I said oh, sorry they would grunt at me that yes I should be, now get the *** out of my way. I’m happy to say that I have my sorry back now that I’m home again.

 

 

I watched the documentary (thrilled that since he’s also from Calgary he spent a little longer there, no offense Toronto, but I was glad that you weren’t the centre of the universe…. sorry) and it got me thinking about what it means for me to be Canadian.

I have strong Canadian roots on both sides of my family. Of course since we are all immigrants, that only goes so far… But, my Dad’s side has old standing in Ontario – I came home from my Canadian history class one day and told my Dad we were learning about the Northway store and he was like oh yeah, that was your great grandfather’s store. And my mom’s family was one of the first to settle out here in Alberta.

I have always identified very strongly and proudly as a Canadian and it thrills me to be back in my country and raising my kids in our Canadian culture (whatever that is).

So what does it mean to me to be Canadian? Well it means my prairie/foothills/mountain roots in Calgary. It means time on the ranch that was started by my great-grandparents and continues on now with my uncle, aunt, and cousins. It means horseback riding and freedom.

It means summers with family at the creek

It means going to the Canada Day Parade in Canmore and celebrating how awesome it is to be Canadian.

It means going to the Stampede (the kids here with my uncle when we were at the rodeo last year). 
It means going branding and being a part (a limited part since a lot of this cow stuff is totally out of my wheelhouse, but I love it) of learning what makes the ranch work. It’s important we know our heritage. 

It means tobogganing down the hill by the barn while the horses watch


It means having your kid throw snowballs at you while you’re unloading groceries from the car (not off the dogsled)

It means beautiful skies and unexpected snowstorms.

It means Santa Claus Parades in our hometown. It also means being closer to the North Pole and all of Santa’s goodies.  

Pure and simple, it means home. It is security, love, peacefulness, kindness, humour, and a place where I am truly blessed to live.

Ok, maybe that is just what it means to me to be Albertan. However,  I think one of the best things I did was live in Quebec for 2 years. I actually think there should be an exchange program between our two provinces where everyone has to spend some time in each other’s provinces. I loved living in Quebec and some of my greatest friendships were made there.

My happiness moment today: watching something that made me sit down and think about how much I truly appreciate this wonderful place that I call home.

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The heated steering wheel

It started with a heated steering wheel. To backtrack a bit, this summer my sister was showing me her new Volvo and one of the features was a heated steering wheel. 

I had just come back after spending the last 4 years in Southern Virginia, and it was a warm spring day in Alberta so I’m afraid I didn’t fully appreciate how awesome the option to have a  heated steering wheel is. 

Today I had to take my car into the Volvo dealership for some maintenance and the courtesy car they gave me had (among many other exciting features) a heated steering wheel. Extra exciting since we woke up this morning to a pretty decent dump of snow.  It was a happiness moment keeping my hands warm while I drove on the cold road.   
While I was driving back home enjoying my new ride I got to thinking about my happiness journey and how this year has taken me in directions I never would have imagined. 

Years ago when I read Eat, Pray, Love I was mesmerized by her happiness journey, but with little kids and a crazy schedule I was also pretty bent that she could run away for three months and find her balance. 

Slowly I’ve come go realize that Elizabeth Gilbert could do that because of the things that made her uniquely her. 

The things that have come into my life this year to hold, support, and encourage my happiness journey have happened for reasons that make me uniquely me. 

Not many people have family who opens up a house for them when they are in crisis and needing help. Not many families have an old house that just happens to be empty and sitting there waiting for the right moment to be occupied. 

I called on a Monday and said we were coming home, and by the weekend they had the house ready for us. And I’d seen the place at Christmas. They went to a lot of work to transform it into the place we now call home. 

Likewise, not many people have a sister who steps in and gives them a car to drive (and a pretty nice one at that). She had her old Volvo at home  to gift to Dad, but after he died she turned around and gave it to me to use. Supreme kindness. 
 
I’m learning a lot from following other people’s happiness journeys, but I’m cognizant of the fact that what makes someone else happy may not be what works for me. Likewise, the tools that other people have available to them as they walk their path are different from what I have. 

I am incredibly blessed in my life and one of the greatest things about my journey for happiness has been a reminder of the wonderful life I have been given. 

Which is sometimes  made even sweeter by a heated steering wheel. 

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