Tag Archives: happiness

Uncategorized

Do one thing a day that scares you

I’ve been scattered again today. I realized this because of my tea cups. It started when I made a cup of tea this morning and then dumped it and put it in the dishwasher (wahhhhh). I’ve found at least 3 half finished cups around the house from the day which means I’ve put them down and then completely forgotten them. 

Thank goodness I didn’t have to do anything important today. 

One of my favourite mantras I got from the side of my lululemon bag years ago DO ONE THING A DAY THAT SCARES YOU. I came across it when I was in the midst of my anxiety time and I held onto it. Sometimes the only thing I could do that day that scared me was get out of bed.



Doing things that scare you don’t have to be big things. Fears are relative to the person. Things that scare me may not scare you. 

But sometimes life is just scary and that’s part of living life. 

Because bad things can be scary – the boogeyman, finances, security. But good things can be scary – love is probably the scariest thing you can do. But imagine life without it. 

Love fearlessly. It’s the only way. 

My happiness moment was tonight at Jenna’s school. They had a civil war performance and it was so fun to get to see her up there. 

My Canadian ignorance showed through. I thought Goober Peas was a kids song Burl Ives sang (I grew up listening to mom’s album. Also thought big rock candy mountain was a kids song. And yellow submarine for that matter). It was fun to watch her so fearless up on stage 



 

Standard
Uncategorized

Helpful hands help with balance

I woke up feeling pretty out of sorts today. Stressed and anxious about things I can’t do anything about. Some of them really big deals some of them not, but either way not things I can change. And stressing and being anxious is not helpful in any circumstance.

So, I sat and meditated and then walked the dog. When I came home I was looking around the house feeling so overwhelmed. Somehow over the weekend we’d turned it into a disaster area, which for sure would mean that someone would want to come look at the place.

But then my cleaning fairy showed up. Today was the day my cleaning lady comes. I’ve hired her to come every two weeks and the difference in my life has been amazing. The amount of stress it has taken away is huge. Having that extra helping hand helps put balance back in my life. It helps with the overwhelmed feeling. It helps let those anxiety feelings go away.

It does not change those things that stress me out but it sure sets me up to deal with them better.

I’ve decided that any little thing that can be done to help make those things that stress me out go away is an absolute must in life. How much more enjoyable life is when I am able to let go of things that are overwhelming or create unnecessary stress. How much better it is to have helping hands come in and support, and how much better it is to be able to be a helping hand back to someone who needs it.

Because when you need help and there’s a community of loving hands there to help you it makes things so much better.

My happiness moment today was the feeling I had when my housecleaner left the house and it felt so good and clean and relaxing. But it spreads out into larger areas of my life. I’m so thankful for those people who are able to step in and give support and love and guidance when it’s needed, and I’m thankful I have people whom I love and can give support and love back to.

Then, as a reminder that He is in fact part of that community that gives love and support, God made the most amazing sunset tonight. The picture does not do it justice – Jacob and I had to pull off the road to take the picture. It was setting over the mountains and Jacob said it looked like a dancing dragon.

Standard
Uncategorized

Forced family fun time

Even though it always starts as the most horrible thing I could do, the kids actually enjoy the forced family fun walk along the river. I haven’t made them do it very often in the winter because the cold and the whining together was more than I could handle. But, today was sunshiney and pretty out so we braved it. After the obligatory grumble, grumble, grumble they started playing catch and running around like…. well…. kids having fun.

I’m so glad we forced ourselves out of the house and enjoyed some of what Mother Nature has to offer.

Sometimes you end up being a bump on a log. She thought this was very funny.

And proof they can be normal.

It was so good for our souls. And so important to do. Because you have to enjoy that happiness in that moment. In every moment there is somehow, somewhere happiness to be found. But, some of them are more difficult to find the bliss in. So, for those – I like to have these extra moments of joy built up to draw strength on.

Here’s my true moment of happiness right here. There’s actually a video with a dance but since I love him I won’t share that. Happiness is being silly and goofy at just the right moment.  (They’re light up shamrock glasses and he’s got shamrock socks to match – you just can’t tell because you’re blind from his shoes)

Standard
Uncategorized

An active participant in fun

Today I played the role of “good mommy” and let Jacob ride shotgun in the suburban  rented for the weekend. It’s black and mafia cool looking, but we have managed to turn it into a crazy family car nonetheless. Here’s what I discovered today – being in the back seat is much more fun than being in the front seat. For example, I could reach through the seat and the head rest and tickle the back of Jacob’s neck. I could reach around the side and poke him. Then when he got angry and tried to squish me to death by backing the front seat right down on me I could swing my legs to the side, grab his seatbelt pinning him to the seat and wet willy him until he cried uncle.

Jenna and I laughed so hard in the back seat we thought we were going to be sick.

We played push your seat back and then flop it forward. We harassed poor Jacob stuck in the front. We played the “are we there yet? I’m bored” game until their dad got that cranky line that says shhhh I’m trying to focus on the road across his forehead. Then we laughed about that.

We took crazy car selfies.

 

Being an active participant in fun is so much better than being a passive participant. It’s so much more heart warming to be able to be a part of the fun than to just watch and enjoy the fun. It does not mean you actively have to get up and do something. In fact when I’m laughing so hard I can’t get up and do anything. It just means being engaged and involved in the fun.

It was by far the happiness moment of the day. I felt lighter for hours after it.

Happiness rocks.

I had my 5th Healing Light Yoga Therapy class today. It was so powerful I don’t even know where to begin. I need some time to process it. But I can guarantee that it’s what set me up for the belly laughing, gut aching fun I had later on.

Standard
Uncategorized

An Ayurvedic Consultation

Nourish, Vitality, Excitement, Desire

Those are my new life-loving words.

Today I had an Ayurvedic consultation with Asrael from Ananda Ayurveda. She’s the same lady who teaches my Healing Light Yoga Therapy classes and it has been so uplifting for my soul to have had her come into my life.

~ As a side note, as soon as I got on my Google Hangout chat with her my cat Ella came running from the other side of the house to stick her head in the computer and see “the yoga lady”. Ella spends a lot of time hanging out with me during classes and I guess was excited to see what was going to happen today.~

It was amazing. I wish I’d done this sooner, but I’m thankful I did it now. It was good to know that a lot of the things I’ve been feeling about what’s going on with me were in fact steps in the right direction. To find out that what I’m learning and trying to apply is actually working was pretty heart warming.

Of course there is a lot I don’t know and so to have her start to fill in some of the blank spaces fills me with gratitude. It was so wonderful to have someone sit down and walk through where I’m at and how I’m doing physically, spiritually, and energetically. To have someone hold my hand and help guide me down the path that I feel like I’ve been walking blindfolded and trying to peek out the corners feels like a weight being lifted off my shoulders (and my lower back and hips).

I now have better ideas on how to ground and nourish my self. How to regain my center of balance and power up that strength.

Interestingly, one of the things she suggested I do is to start Morning Pages which I did years ago after going to a course led by Julia Cameron at Kripalu. I did them faithfully for about 2 years, when I loved doing them and when I hated doing them. Then as I really got into those dark night of the soul times I quit doing them because they made me angry and upset. Ironically had I kept doing them I probably could have worked a lot of that junk out because that is the point of having all those feelings in morning pages. But, I couldn’t deal with that then. So now here I am…. back to Morning Pages. Great…. (it is great. It will be a good thing, it just won’t always feel like a good thing)

That was my happiness moment. I highly recommend doing it if you are able. It’s a wonderful way to be able to discover more healthful ways to live life. And think…. soon I will be able to give guidance similar to this to other people! It’s life-changing!

My other, naughtier, yummier, less Ayurvedic happiness moment came later when we went out for supper and I had this big old piece of chocolate cake for dessert. Oh, yummmmmm!!!!

Standard
Uncategorized

Purple hair

My happiness moment of the day was going to be that I got the purple highlights in my hair redone today. I first put them in late last fall and I LOVE them. They’re subtle enough that it doesn’t scream purple yet bright enough you can see the purple. Funky hair is fun. 

But then I was taking a selfie to show off the purple and Jacob photo bombed me. We laughed. I told him to butt out. 



So I took another one and he photo bombed me AGAIN. I love it when the kids are funny. It means they’re relaxed enough to joke around. 



Here’s a front on. 



Here’s a better purple view 



You can’t even see them all that well. But they’re there. My hairdresser liked them so much she was going to do her hair after I left. 

Purple power. I’ve got purple everywhere and will soon write about how purple fits into my coming out is the dark night of the soul. 

Standard
Uncategorized

Just flicker that light at the end of the tunnel will you?

I was talking with a friend this afternoon who is also thinking of selling her house. They’ve had a bunch of false starts over the past year about getting the house ready, having possible jobs fall through, having people want to buy the house and then back out… we can totally relate to each other’s unrest and uncertainty. We were chatting about it today and I said “I’m trying, I know it will work out, I’m strong on faith, just low on patience”. We laughed because – aren’t we all?

She said “It would be nice if God would just turn on the light at the end of the tunnel once in a while so we could see where we are going.”

I totally agreed. It does not even have to turn on and stay on, just one of those quick flickers so you can look around and get your bearings and know that everything’s going to be ok. Because it will be. One way or another.

It’s just the having patience part that is difficult.

Jacob got up early this morning and came and flopped on my bed while I sat in my chair drinking my tea and playing fetch with Ella. I told him that it didn’t seem all that long ago I could just pick him up and throw him down on the bed. My little-baby-who-is-now-a-man-with-deep-voice. I told him about how I’d throw him and then tickle him, until one day I threw him and then fell on top of him because I wasn’t strong enough to throw anymore.

He came and lay beside me in my chair, all stretched out looking so comfortable. I looked down at him and with fingers twitching said “Whey you were little Jacob I used to move my hands just like this and then come down and tickle you!!!” Which I then did. And he curled up in a little ball just like he used to when he was little Jacob and giggled and squirmed and didn’t want me to stop, just like little Jacob used to. It did my heart good to have that morning moment with my little boy, and he came to me later this afternoon and said “that was really fun with you this morning mom, it made me feel like a little kid again. We need to do that more often.”

My moment of happiness.

Standard
Uncategorized

Cilantro mint chutney and 44 days of happiness

In Ayurveda chutneys are the appetizers of the meal. Which makes sense if you think about the word “appetizer” – something to increase appetite. Not a mini meal before you have your main meal. They help both improve digestion and the absorption of your food, and can be specialized to nurture the different doshas.

There are many different recipes for this chutney. I seem to always make it with just 4 ingredients: fresh cilantro, fresh mint, a hot pepper, and fresh squeezed lemon.

I used 2 bunches of cilantro and 2 small packages of mint. I can’t wait until they’re growing outside instead of me having to buy them.

pretty, pretty….

Wash all ingredients, make sure you just have mint leaves – take them off the stems –  and put them in a blender. I used to use my Cuisinart food processor, but I found that the little green specks were impossible to get out of all the little nooks and crannies. So, I now use my blender. I have to cut up the cilantro and then add things bit by bit or it takes forever to blend up.

Once it’s all blended, put in a glass dish – enjoy!!

Today is day 44 of the 44 days of happiness. My happy moment came while I was driving kids from doing recycling to drop off a form at the library. Jacob was reading the form – it was for a teen night and so I had filled out his information – and he said “why did you put M as my grade?” Well, I had read it as gender, so I put M for male. But, since the three of us are huge Goldbergs fans I said “The M is for moron” (because that’s what the dad is always calling everyone – it’s how he says I love you). We started laughing so hard I had to pull the car over because I couldn’t see to drive (thankfully we were at a light). Those spontaneous belly laughs are what it’s all about!

I was thinking about my 44 days of happiness yesterday while I was out for my walk. This mini-journey has brought so much to my life. We have lived in such stress and chaos for so long that it was really easy to focus on that part of life. Which is a shame when there still are so many awesome things happening every minute. Finding one thing that made me happy every day has made me an overall happier person. I laugh more, I play more, I have more patience with the kids, I talk with friends more, I even lost some weight – clothes that haven’t fit for ages are fitting again. I’ve also been doing yoga much more regularly and that is so blissful for my body and soul. I’m 4 weeks into a 6 weeks course on Healing Light Yoga Therapy which is led by Asreal Zemenick. This session is about addictions and letting go of old beliefs and patterns, and man do I have some old beliefs and patterns that need to be let go. I hadn’t realized how addicting those ways of thinking could actually be. But learning to let go of what no longer serves me is life changing to say the least.

Overall I’d say that the 44 days of happiness has made me a better version of me.

I realized while walking that I was just starting to hit my stride with this whole happiness thing and that just ending it could very easily turn my focus back onto those things that cause me stress. And I don’t want to do that.

So, I have decided that in order for my 44th year to be a year of happiness, I need to continue to look for the happiness in every single day. Why not? I’ve had lots of years where the focus has been on  stress and anxiety and unease (no wonder my Vata is all upset) – why not have a year of happiness? It goes along with my intention of the path of least resistance and obviously I’ve intended on keeping this going from its conception as is evident in my birthday post.

So, now that I’m 44 and 44 days old I can say that I’m thankful that this year is off to such a blessed start. I feel happier and more blissful than ever.

Standard
Uncategorized

My (not so ) Secret Crush on James Barber

“Cooking, like sex and dancing, is a pleasure best shared.” (James Barber, The Urban Peasant)

Somehow I made it into my 20s not having any idea at all how to cook. Honestly, I don’t think I was very interested in learning. I liked eating, but I had no interest in how the food got to my mouth. I was perfectly happy eating a sandwich on my way to the barn.

Around the age of 22 I took a job at a busy show-barn and I was often so tired from working and riding that I had no desire to go anywhere anyway. Because we were in the country we had only 3 channels – one of them being CBC. This was a glorious time (in my mind) for CBC because on Friday nights they would show Mr. Bean, The Kids in The Hall, and This Hour has 22 Minutes. Even if I had the option to go out on a Friday night I would choose to stay home so I could laugh myself silly all night.

But at 10:00 am every weekday there was this man who would come on the CBC. A man who ended up changing my life. I fell in love with James Barber the first time I watched his show The Urban Peasant . I think part of the reason why I was unwilling to cook – once I moved out and had no other way to actually feed myself – was because I had no idea how to do it. What if I didn’t have an ingredient? Did that mean I had to scrap the whole thing? What if I didn’t measure something properly – would it be ruined? What if I followed the recipe perfectly and it turned out tasting like crap?

James Barber was cooking some sort of stew and was talking away and went to grab a spice. It wasn’t on the counter where he thought it was. He turned and went through his cupboard and it wasn’t there either. Instead of going into full out panic mode like I would have, he just said ‘Oh, I’ll use _______ instead, it will make it taste just as good’. I was like ‘you can do that???’ It changed how I looked at cooking. It sounds simple I know, but watching him free flow and create in the kitchen gave me the confidence to start experimenting myself.

Some of the the things were pretty gross that I made, but some of them were actually pretty good. And as I practiced they got better and better. I gained some confidence and some basic knowledge and started to really enjoy myself. I began taping his show (old-school on the VHS) in the morning so that I could watch it when we were done cleaning the barn -and I was so tired I could barely move. I started developing a real (one sided) relationship with him.

Years later my sister in law treated me to a cooking lesson with him. It remains one of the coolest things I have done. He was just as awesome in person as he was on TV. Full of passion and fun and life. He made all of us participants as excited about the meals he was creating as he was. I remember the food he made, I remember how it tasted, but probably what I remember best was what he said – it was something like: “If you ever move into a new apartment and you’re having difficulty meeting people, just put some onions in your frying pan with some butter and start browning them. The smell will be so amazing that people will start coming knocking on your door just to see if they can have a bite.”

Over the years I bought all of his cookbooks and made almost all of his recipes. Everyone around me got Urban Peasant cookbooks for their birthdays and Christmas.

I have always felt a huge amount of gratitude to this kind man who taught me not only how to cook, but how to love to cook. I think of him when the kids are creating in the kitchen. They approach it with the same freedom and joy.

Sadly he passed away in 2007 at the age of 85, but even that he did in a way that showed how much he loved the life he was living:

“He was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a cookbook when he passed away,” said his wife Christina Burridge. “There was a pot of chicken soup on the stove. He would have been pleased.” She said his death was sudden, unexpected and most likely a heart attack. (from his obituary)

He made me want to be like him – loving what I was doing. Living the life as they say.

My happiness moment on day 43 of the 44 days of happiness came early this morning. The kids were sitting at the kitchen table in kind of a stunned silence waiting for breakfast. With the time change it’s now dark when they get up so we sit staring at each other instead of the sunrise. Jacob slumped down in his chair and said “It’s still dark out, why do we have to get up before God gets up? This is wrong!”

Which I agree with, but they do have to go to school sometimes.

We went on to talk about how nice it had been to have these latest snow days off. Jenna mentioned how different it would be if I was working. I said that they would have to be dropped at a sitter, or have someone come in and look after them. Jacob said how hard it would be to have to go somewhere all summer long and not be able to just hang out and sleep in in the mornings. They both looked at me and said thank you for deciding to stay home with us so we can do things together. Jenna said she was so happy that it was me that was the adult who was with her and Jacob said that he was happy that we got to spend time together. I told them how happy I was that I was so blessed as to be able to watch them grow and to be there every step of the way.

It was a real heart warming moment. There is such a struggle for women – to work or to stay home – and both of them have huge benefits and also huge downsides. But this morning, in that moment I felt my inner sunshine as I knew that all the choices I’d made were the right ones for us.

Standard
ayurveda, cooking, happiness, recipes

Churna time and a day of bliss

I finally got to making my kapha churna. I’ve mentioned it the past couple of days when I posted recipes for saag and for kitchari.

A churna is a mixture of different dry herbs and spices and is used frequently in Ayurvedic cooking. Ayurvedic churnas combine all six of the ayurvedic tastes: sweet, sour, salty, pungent, bitter, and astringent. While it enhances the flavour of a dish, each one of the spices has it’s own medicinal properties. They can be sprinkled onto or cooked into any dish, however for better absorption they can be sauteed in ghee before being added to the dish.

Here are the ingredients for a kapha churna (from Eat, Taste, Heal)
Ingredients:

  • 1 tbl. fenugreek seeds
  • 2 tbl. whole coriander seeds
  • 1 tbl. ground ginger
  • 1 tbl. whole cumin seeds
  • 1 tbl. ground turmeric
  • 1 tbl. ground cinnamom
  • 1 tsp. ground clove
  • ½ tsp. cayenne pepper or chili powder

Preparation:

1.      Put all ingredients in an electric grinder or spice mill and grind them.
2.      Store in airtight container such as a glass jar.

Don’t the spices look pretty? Jenna stood over the plate and smelled and smelled and said how wonderful they were.


  Put them in a coffee/spice grinder and grind until fine

 

Place the churna in an airtight glass container.

Enjoy!!

My moment of happiness on day 42 of the 44 days was more like a full day of happiness. I was trying to figure out what the best part of the day was, but honestly this entire day has been one of happiness. I’ve noticed that as I’ve spent these past 42 days really focusing on happy things that more and more happiness is coming into my life.

This is how the morning started

When there is a sunrise or a sunset that is this fabulous I always imagine God dancing around like an excited 4 year old saying “look what I did!! Look!! Isn’t it beautiful? Look!! Stop and pay attention!!!”

So I did. I sat with my cup of tea and watched the sunrise with the dog and the cat ignoring each other on either side of me. As the rays moved on, Ella and I went and played our game of fetch. The colours from the sunrise were still coming in the window and they lit her up. She looked so pretty.

Before church I met a friend at Mill Mountain Coffee and we sat outside (outside!!) and had a wonderful visit in a sunbeam.

I didn’t have to teach children’s chapel so I got to sit in through the entire service which was led by the kids. It was a joyful service.

Jacob and I took a church selfie. Is this ok to do? Probably not.

I ran into  friend I haven’t seen in a few months. After losing a child late in pregnancy she and her husband have a wonderful, beautiful adopted son. Joy! Joy! Joy!

We drove to the Co op after church and we could see buds (buds!!! Spring!!!) on the trees.

I had a nap. An awesome, blissful, middle of the day nap (Jenna was at a sleepover last night and I had to check my phone 10,000,000 times at night to make sure she hadn’t called as she sometimes does).
It’s 7:15 and it’s still light out! I love daylight savings time!
Sunday Funday
 
Standard