We went to Canmore this afternoon and watched the Highland Games. I’ve been wanting to go again for years – I think the last time I went was before kids. Now however, the monsters were at the perfect age to enjoy the Games. Teens are pretty easy in these situations. We checked out the booths, watched men and women do tug of war and throw giant logs, and enjoyed the beauty of the mountains. How lucky we are to live here.
I’ve not been good about doing my happiness moments lately. Part of it is me needing a break, part of it is me just being sad and trying to sort things out, part of it is the fact that there are some people who read my blog whom I would rather not have a window into my soul.
But at the end of the day, tracking my gratitude and finding moments of happiness no matter what life throws at me is so much more important than any of those reasons.
I went to Canmore with a friend this evening and we walked the town, walked the paths, and went for supper. It was so fun to laugh and relax and really enjoy the company of someone I care about.
There is a lot to be grateful for and even though there have been some dark times it’s so important to keep focused on the moment of sunshine.
We scattered some of mom’s ashes in her favorite places (the same spots where we scattered dads ashes three years ago).
When mom was a little girl she had “her” rock, her favorite place to sit on the hill and look over the creek to see the mountains in the background. After she got polio she was never able to go back to that spot again. In an odd way it felt really good to leave a little bit of her there at that rock.
While we were walking and crying and scattering we noticed that for the first time in weeks we could see the mountains. Like heaven was celebrating a little bit with us.
I was so grateful today we had some much needed rain. The smoke isn’t gone but it’s certainly lessened. I hope this means BC also had some rain to help put out fires.
Tonight for the first time in about 3 weeks I saw the moon. It’s the first time the sky has been clear enough from the smoke. It was so nice to look up and see it shining down at us.
On Saturday when we were at the Cochrane Fair we had our auras read by a dear, old (not in age -she’s younger than I am) friend of mine. She read my aura in the winter of 2014 – just months before every single thing in my life started to change. It was amazing the difference between that snapshot of my energy vs. the one that was taken the other day. Granted, the auras can change in a matter of minutes; but my general energy, outlook on life, spiritual connection, and life is so different now from what it was then.
But the really interesting one was that of my daughter. Her aura was surrounded by bright red – my friend described it as a cloak of protection. Because it’s red it relates to her first chakra, the one that grounds us to the earth, that connects us, that makes us feel safe. Red isn’t the color my girl is normally drawn to, but when we were doing some back to school shopping it was the colour she picked out over and over. My friend (who knows we’ve been through the last few years, but not all the specifics of my daughter’s life) said it was like she had wrapped a cloak of protection around herself, but it also showed she was depleted in the very thing she was using as protection – her base chakra. She needs to ground herself to the earth, make herself remember that she is here of this earth and replenish the lost energy.
My girl left muttering she doesn’t know me at all, but smiling because she knew my friend was spot on with her analysis.
The next day we went to church and the sermon was pretty much given explicitly for her. It was the story of Passover, and as he talked of the houses that marked their doorway with the blood of the lamb it became clear that he was talking about the same type of cloak of protection that my girl was using. The pastor had a door frame put up at the front of the church, and he stood inside it and explained how as he stood in the door he was completely covered and protected by the cloak of God. Then he took out some red paint and covered the doorway with the red cloak of protection – that would save his life.
I was watching my girl as he was talking and I could feel her energy change. My friend had told her that however she was making the cloak to protect her was exactly what she needed at this time in her life. And as she listened to the sermon she began to see that the cloak that she had wrapped around her just may have come from a higher power.
I love it when God stuff happens like that.
Somehow we have never seen the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie – amazing since we are all huge Groot (and Marvel) fans.
I love that Friday night means a family movie together. I’m so grateful these teens want to spend time with me.
Those of you who know me know that I have a tendency to be a little stubborn. I come by it honestly as there is a long and strong stubborn streak that runs in my family. It’s like a superpower and when it’s used for good it is unbeatable and creates some amazing results, but when it’s used for evil it can be pretty destructive (almost always destructive for myself as opposed to other people).
I’ve been having issues with my horse as many of you know. But in truth I’ve been having issues with myself not my horse. It’s been a year since I fell off and although I’ve been on him a few times, I’ve not really enjoyed it and basically been scared shitless. It has come to the point where I need to face my fear or get rid of my horse.
I don’t like giving up on things. That’s part of my stubborn streak. However, in the last few years I’ve learned that sometimes it’s not just better but essential that I walk away from certain things.
I have a friend who has stepped up and is helping me with my Drishti issue. He likes my horse and he’s known me my whole life, and he’s kindly jumped in and given me a hand starting to get my confidence back. He came out today and rode my horse so I could see that Drishti isn’t some crazed beast, but rather a horse with energy who has had a year off. 98.654% of the issues I’m having are because I spent too much time in my head getting freaked out.
But horses are my passion and I’ve waited years to have one back in my life. I got to the point where I had to ask myself what I wanted more – to not be afraid or to ride.
I want to ride.
So today after my friend rode my horse, I rode my horse. Not elegantly or well. In fact it took me about 10 minutes to force myself to get on, and then he had to lunge me – so I felt like I was safely on a leash – before he let us go free in the ring. But we did it. And I made myself ride until I no longer felt like I was going to crap my pants or throw up (I’m so elegant).
Everything I know about being brave I’ve learned on the back of a horse. The back of a horse then can’t be the one place I fear to be. It just can’t. Asking for help was the only way I could begin to face this fear. The problem with being stubborn is often I don’t ask for help when I need it. I’m slowly learning that we need each other to get through this life, and if we don’t ask for help people usually don’t know that we need it.
And so the journey begins. Being brave enough to ride will make me brave enough to continue to face whatever life throws at me. It’s my passion, but it’s also my greatest learning tool. That is a huge step on my happiness journey.
Here he is going cowboy style while I watch
The next stage is allowing him to help me.
And finally trying on my own while he watches.
None of this could have happened if I’d stubbornly plowed ahead myself and not asked for and allowed for help.
The smoke was almost gone this morning and for the first time in want feels like ages we could see the mountains today.
We did a mountain escape after supper and walked around Canmore. It’s always been a place that resets our souls and brings us peace.
As a bonus today I got the best picture of the boy enjoying his stroll around town.
Quality time with the kids. It’s stuff money can’t buy. I love this life.
Jasmine has learned not only how to climb higher, but how to play/bug Aladdin. He’s so tolerant and good with her.
It’s fun to watch a creature who knows nothing but love exist in the world. She doesn’t understand hurt or fear at all. I love it
When we moved to Virginia I began a tradition of having a birthday pie for the boy instead of cake. Peaches were in season there by his birthday time and since that’s my favorite – that’s what he got.
We missed the birthday pie this year. Actually the boy has had a few crappy birthdays which I’m trying to make up for.
Today though, we were at the market and someone was selling homemade Saskatoon berry pies. He has a serious Saskatoon berry addiction so I got him his belated birthday pie
It came two months late, but it was worth the wait. It was kind of fun to have an impromptu celebration.
