We have been Patriots fans since our time in Rhode Island which has made the super bowl fun to watch in recent years.
This one, although being kind of a weird game in general, didn’t disappoint.
The boy watched with some friends – something he doesn’t do enough- and the girl and I watched with my cousin and family.
It’s been a good weekend filled with family things. My heart is full.
My aunt and uncle had us over for a make your own pizza party tonight. Actually, what usually happens is the grandkids are invited over to make pizza and us adults have to stay home and make our own suppers, but this time we were all invited and the kids made us all pizza.
These moments are so fantastic and I’m so grateful that my kids (and me, and my sister and her family) have been included in these nights.
I remember sitting at grandmas table having cinnamon toast and tea, and our kids will remember being at Nona’s and making pizza. They are memories you cherish for a lifetime.
I ate so much I may never be hungry again, but my heart is so full and happy.
I was standing at then check out line at Costco this afternoon with my cart filled to the brim. I looked behind me and there was a man with a flat trolley with a toilet on it. I thought to myself that’s either good or bad. He’s either renovating or he’s had some awful explosion in the house.
I thought of offering that he go ahead of me but my cart had 4 huge water bottles and it was kind of difficult to maneuver, I was already running a little late, and I really wasn’t sure I felt like doing an extra kindness.
I got to the till and started unloading my things and I was thinking how selfish that had been of me. Like really, it would have cost me 2 minutes but saved him at least 5 to go ahead of me.
A man who worked there came and grabbed his trolley and said it would be waiting for him on the other side of the till and he could just wait in line without having to deal with the toilet.
And I thought this is my chance to make it up.
I offered he go ahead of me. He thanked me profusely and was saying how he appreciated it, when the store worker stopped everyone and said isn’t it nice to see there are still kind people in the world. That was so nice of you to let him go ahead.
I was kind of embarrassed but I smiled and thanked him. I know I helped that other customer out, but I think I left feeling even better than he did.
My take away lesson from this is that often I ask God for a second chance to get stuff, but I usually forget to ask for a second chance to give.
We had a meeting this morning with a few of the men in our community to gather history and information about our community hall. I was fascinated by their stories, and astounded by how accurate their memories are. I couldn’t remember what I did yesterday, but they could remember what happened in 1942 or 1968 at the hall. It was amazing.
It made me feel really happy to hear how much the hall was used in my parents’ and grandparents’ generations. It really was the hub of the community, and I feel like even with the bright lights of the city to tempt us, there are a lot of us who are feeling the pull for that sort of community gathering again.
I am always grateful for the fact that we live in a really unique community that has granted us a strong and supportive tribe, but moments like today really solidify that for me.
I had a wonderful surprise visit from my niece today. Usually when she’s around so is my daughter and the girls take off and I never see them. But today I had this girl all to myself (until the boy showed up).
We sat and had tea and visited about life, school, travels, food, and our pets.
Then jasmine the crazy kitten showed herself and the rest of our visit was spent terrorizing our little black ball of terror.
Laughter in the small moments.
The girl is experiencing some of what seems to be regular girl drama at school. It’s all pretty much what I remember myself from being in grade 8 with a few exceptions.
Texting changed everything. We used to leave school at school but now everyone has constant access to each other.
She’s way more mature and level headed than I remember being.
But for me the most touching part is that she sits down and talks to me about what is going on in her life.
It’s priceless.
We went to my cousin’s tonight to celebrate her son’s 19th, my somethingth and the girl’s 14th birthdays. After an amazing meal (osso bucco omg so good) and super yummy cheesecake made by my aunt, we started talking about birthdays. I mentioned how I missed the little boy who used to know all the names and numbers of the Thomas the Tank Engine trains. My niece ran to the back room and returned with a giant box of all of his Thomas trains and we immediately set them up on the table reminiscing about each train (and it’s tender if it had one). Some of my happiest little kid moments are of that kid and my boy playing Thomas – they were obsessed.
And I have to say, us adults got pretty obsessed too. We played waaaaay longer this evening with those trains than I ever would have expected – and it was so much fun.
Further proof that you can have a really good time doing really simple things – as long as you’re with people you love.
I started this blog 4 long, long years ago on my 44th birthday. My idea at the time was to track 44 days of happiness. Life was pretty sad for me then and had been for quite a while. I was in a marriage that was filled with fear and pain, and I couldn’t see a way out of it that also looked after my kids. I was 2000 miles from home in a different country. I was sad, I was lonely, and I was unhappy.
So for 44 days I looked for things to make me happy. Some days it was the smallest of things – like seeing my heron on my morning walk. But I did notice at the end of the 44 days I felt better, more positive, happier.
So I kept it up. I blogged every day for over three years. Through the kids and I moving home, through dad dying, me getting divorced, the boy getting very sick, me breaking my shoulder, mom dying, and the girl also being very ill.
I blogged and felt better and even through all the change and pain felt like tracking my gratitude was making a difference.
When the girl got sick it just about knocked the bottom out of my world. And at the same time I realized that someone was reading my blog who had less than loving intentions towards me and my kids. So I stopped blogging as frequently, closed that person (and the rest of the world) from that part of our lives, and got through.
But you know, maybe I should have just kept blogging. This is my life, our lives, and what happens is real. It helps me process it to share it, it helps me find happiness to remember to find moments of joy in the day.
So today, on my 48th birthday I’ll commit to 48 days of happiness and go from there.
This year, my intention for my life is to seek peace. However that looks for me, whatever changes that entails, I need to look at things in a way that leads me to peace. This means the most important thing in my world needs to be strengthening my relationship with the Divine.
Today the kids took me to Banff. The car said 14c on the way there and it was a ridiculously nice afternoon in the mountains. The greatest gift I can receive is quality time with my loved ones- and that’s exactly what I got today
there was a snow carving festival going on. What they created was amazing 
Today has been a weird day for memories. There are good ones, like remembering 19 years ago today when my cousin had her son (and he’s such an awesome human)
There are freedom memories, like the fact that 3 years ago today I filed for divorce and opened the possibility up for an entirely different kind of life.
There are sad memories like the fact that a year ago today was mom’s funeral. This one is intermixed with bittersweet happiness as I recall family and friends coming together and celebrating probably the bravest woman I ever knew.
And then there are memories of love like the one that popped up on my Facebook from 7 years ago that said this:
Mom, I probably should hold your hand more. I realize that the little girl hand I have been so used to holding will one day grow up to be a big girl hand and will probably not want to hold my hand as much, and there’s nothing like that feeling. *Long distance hand hold *
My baby was 7 then and I promise you that at 14 now the hand holding is few and far between. But there’s still a lot of love.
This is my last day of being 47. Today marks the last of the firsts without mom. But it also marks the first of a whole new future ahead of us.
Love is all there is.
