Tag Archives: love

happiness

Valentine’s Deja Vu

I was reminded today that love comes in so many different shapes and forms. I am blessed to have so much love in my life. From the cuddles with my cat and the play with my dog, to the games with my kids and visits with my family, I am very fortunate to be surrounded by loving, kind souls.

Tonight my sister and I were heating up leftover supper from last night when my aunt and uncle stopped by (to share chocolates with my niece- it’s chocolate day you know). They ended up staying for dinner and we sat down to an almost identical meal to the night before – one family from the larger family gathering was missing this time. My uncle and I looked at each other across the table and he commented on how here we were again doing the exact same thing as last night, sitting in the same chairs, eating the same meal. I said it was like supper deja vu.

To a lot of people this may not be a big deal, but we spent 10 years so far away from our family. There was no chance anyone was just popping over for a quick visit, or an unexpected but very welcome meal. It was such an awesome moment looking around the table and seeing everyone laughing and sharing stories. The kids are now so relaxed and feeling like they are grounded here and a part of the flow of the family. I feel that way too.

To sit and visit and laugh with the people whom I love most and who know me best in the world, that is a great Valentine’s happiness moment. We are giving and receiving great love.

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Love pays it forward

I knew I should have waited until the end of the day to write my happiness moment. But I was trying to be all productive when I wrote it earlier this afternoon. 

I reflected on what I wrote as I drove into town to get Jenna from school. I thought about the lessons my Dad taught me as he was dying last spring. High among them was how he managed to not complain (huge for me, I discovered during that time that I complain about everything), and walk bravely into something that was both unavoidable and that scared him deeply. His courage, his dignity, and his grace during that time of uncertainty for him was a huge life lesson to me.

I understood that these are qualities that I need to live by now. I need to be gracious and kind during a time that fills me with fear and uncertainty.

Moving ahead with that, Jenna and I went to the grocery store to get buns for “hamburger night” (she has been craving a good burger for a while now). When we walked into the store she turned to me and said it bothers me that I can’t buy you a Valentine’s present mom. Can I borrow $5 from you? I’ll pay you back with my tooth fairy money. But, I really want to get you something. You do so much for us and I love you. Remembering that the kids expressed to me that they felt badly that they had not got me a birthday gift last month (usually I just buy something that I want and put their name on it and they give it to me. I didn’t have the energy this year and I felt badly when I realized that it had upset them), I handed Jenna over $5 and sent her on her way.

But not before I pulled her in for a big hug. Her one simple act of innocent kindness changed my entire perspective on the day. It reminded me of how very important it is to show love whenever it is possible. No act is too small.

With that warm feeling in my heart I walked by a bouquet of sunflowers mixed in with the other Valentine flowers. Dad’s flowers. I bought them and we brought them home for mom. Because the best part of love is that it needs to be shared with everyone around you. I wrapped up Jenna’s  feelings of love shared with me and passed them on. That is how you do a happiness moment!!!

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Masterchef Jr Marathon

We had so many plans for the day. We were going to get up bright and early and head off to church, then come home and clean house, then maybe go for a nice afternoon drive. Best laid plans and all…. What ended up happening was that I slept for 10 hours (Jenna a little longer), we missed church, and ended up spending the day in our PJ’s on the couch binge watching Masterchef JR (and one Beethoven movie).

I had no idea how tired we were until we stopped and rested. I am so incredibly glad that we have a few days off pretty soon where everyone can just slow down a little bit and recharge their batteries.

Even though I spend a lot of time with the kids, we are often rushing here and there, going to school or various activities. I love quiet, lazy time spent with them as well. It was so nice to cuddle up with my girl on the couch and watch those little kids cook some pretty amazing meals.

Jenna used to cook all the time. When she turned 5 we were living in Rhode Island and she decided she wanted lobster bisque for her birthday. I chopped and turned on the stove, but she did all the rest of the cooking. We also used to make naan bread together all the time. Obviously it’s time to get motivated and get us both back in the kitchen. It was a great way of bonding for the two of us.

It was a great, slow, lazy happiness moment spent hanging with one of my favourite people in the world. I am so grateful that it is my job to nurture my amazing humans, watching them grow, learn, love and laugh.

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Dancing with myself

I used to love to dance. I don’t dance well and usually do it only in the privacy of my own home, but I used to love to do it. I remember dancing in my bedroom as a teen to Duran Duran, Boy George, and mostly Billy Idol. I loved Billy Idol (still do). Even my pony Pirate loved Billy Idol and we were often listening to his music while running around together in the arena. Pirate was a little blonde bad ass punker-rebel so he really fit the part.

When the kids were little I used to dance with them all the time. With Jacob it was usually more kid appropriate music, with Jenna it tended to be more Black Eyed Peas and Lady Gaga (her choices). We would dance and dance and laugh and spin and enjoy each other.

Then some life stuff happened and all of a sudden dancing made me sad. I think it made me sad because it used to bring me so much joy and then when I was doing it all I could see was how unhappy life was. So I stopped. I’ve tried off and on to dance again, but there’s always been this underlying feeling of sadness lingering there.

Tonight I put Billy Idol on the Iphone and danced and twirled and sang (as badly as I dance) and really enjoyed myself. The direct result of this quest for happiness is that happiness is finding me. More and more there are happy and joyful moments. Even when surrounded by uncertainty, there is so much happiness and hope and love. Billy Idol… my happiness moment.

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Urgent care 

I’m so grateful that we live where we do when one of us is in need of medical attention. It is such a refreshing change to go into the doctor, urgent care, or the hospital and have them ask what it is that brings you in today, or what is wrong, instead of what is your insurance.

Jacob hit the wall yesterday. Literally, hit the wall. He was running while playing indoor soccer in gym class and a kid pushed him as he was going by. Jacob flew into the wall bashing his left side and left leg against the concrete. When I picked him up he was sore, and it seemed to get worse as the night went on. When he woke up he was in considerable pain and I decided that he should be checked out (I was mostly concerned about internal damage or a cracked rib).

Off we went to Urgent Care in Cochrane. That place has been a godsend, we have been there a few times over the past year and every single time the staff has been incredibly kind and helpful. Because we were there early we were quickly brought in and given a room and had a nurse checking him out right away.

I was glad I took him in as they also were concerned about where his pain was. There was a resident doctor who came in and spent a lot of time moving him this way and that, asking him (him not me) questions, and generally checking him out. I was impressed that as she was poking him on his sides to see where it hurt, she was focusing on his face to watch for his pain reaction.

They did everything – urine test, drew blood, X-rays, and lots of manual examinations.

After a while the senior doctor came in and introduced herself (although she didn’t remember me I had met her on a previous visit and had been so impressed with her bedside manner. I was glad she was one of the people who were looking after us). She told us that it was the resident’s first day running the area and that she was mostly there to just keep an eye on things. Then she did a full examination of Jacob as well.

I was really impressed, because after her examination she brought the resident back in. She showed her a couple of tests she had done on Jacob – they were worried about his spleen and she had moved him a couple of different ways to see his reaction. Then she went over what the resident had done and told her what a great and thorough job she was doing. Good teachers are such a blessing and this lady is absolutely one of them. She seemed like the kind of person you could easily learn from, and leave an experience feeling smarter and better about yourself.

We ended up being sent in for an ultrasound just to rule out any issue with any internal organs. Fortunately it seems he’s just bruised and banged up and is in need of some extra TLC for the weekend (so he packed a bag and went to his Grandma’s house where he knew he would be spoiled rotten).

My happiness moment was realizing the blessing we have of having such a great medical team so close to where we live. It makes me feel so safe and secure knowing that there is this group of people who are really interested in making sure that we are well taken care of and brought back to our healthy state of being.

I’m so thankful for this place. I hope we don’t have to keep visiting it, but I’m glad it’s there!

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And so we roar 

You know when you’re just sitting on the couch and all of a sudden you get into a roaring match with your cousin beside you? No? Maybe you have to be a two or fourteen year old boy.  

 
But, if you want to know what happiness sounds like, sit near these boys during one of their roar matches. Their happiness is so intense it is contagious. 

I love when happiness spontaneously bursts out of people. You can almost see it flow to everyone around. Heartfelt, innocent, love filled, happiness. We are blessed to have these two guys in our lives. 

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And so the sun sets on this year 

Tonight is my personal New Year’s Eve as I finish off another trip around the sun. A year ago tomorrow I began my journey to happiness with this blog. When I go back to the early days of my happiness journey I am struck by how much things have changed. I was so desperately seeking happiness, but I was so lonely and afraid and unhappy. Now I am surrounded by loved ones, less afraid, and so much happier. I love my life being back home, grounded into our roots, secure in the love of our family and friends.

There has been much joy over the past year, reuniting with old friends, strengthening bonds with family, walking happily out in the fields at the ranch, and living in a place that makes my soul feel complete. There has also been a lot of sorrow, losing my dad, and learning to let go and surrender (still working on that one).

Through it all, I am filled with immense gratitude. I have a blessed life and I am surrounded by wonderful and loving people.

I had three happiness moments today. First I heard Jacob describe his day of snowboarding at Nakiska with his school. It was his first time on the slopes and it seems to have been a resounding success. Secondly, my nephew had his surgery and is back home recovering. Thirdly, I had some wonderful visits with family that made me feel strengthened and loved. I am so thankful for my tribe.

 

 

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Vroom vroom

  I’m sitting in the Denver airport waiting for my connection home. As I was waking from one gate to the next I passed this little dream machine. I do want it to zoom up and down the hallways with. Oh the fun that would be had. It would be all the better if  it comes equipped with flashing emergency lights. I had a great happiness moment thinking of laughing and zooming. 
If you can please send a prayer or healing light or whatever you believe to my almost 16 year old nephew tonight. He’s in the hospital awaiting hip surgery. He is a deeply loved child of God and we all want him to have a healing journey. 

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Those three little words 

Love, that magic that makes our hearts sing. There’s nothing quite like it. 

I have a double happiness moment for today, and they both revolve around love. 

The first was when I dropped my teen off at school. He gathered his things, got out of the car, reached back in for his coffee, and then said bye mom have a good day. I love you. And turned and walked away. I followed him in the car, rolled down the window and said did I hear what I thought I just heard? He smiled and said maybe. I don’t know what you’re talking about.  And turned and ran into school. Public acknowledgement that he cares. It doesn’t get much better than that. 

Jenna and I skipped errands and went for a hot chocolate after school. 

  She was delighted when it showed up with a heart on it. She snuggled up to me and said this better be your  happiness moment today mom, because it is mine. These moments with these beautiful people are so precious. I am so grateful for this kind of love. It is a great blessing to be attracting this positive vibe into my life. 

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happiness

Those three little words 

Love, that magic that makes our hearts sing. There’s nothing quite like it. 

I have a double happiness moment for today, and they both revolve around love. 

The first was when I dropped my teen off at school. He gathered his things, got out of the car, reached back in for his coffee, and then said bye mom have a good day. I love you. And turned and walked away. I followed him in the car, rolled down the window and said did I hear what I thought I just heard? He smiled and said maybe. I don’t know what you’re talking about.  And turned and ran into school. Public acknowledgement that he cares. It doesn’t get much better than that. 

Jenna and I skipped errands and went for a hot chocolate after school. 

  She was delighted when it showed up with a heart on it. She snuggled up to me and said this better be your  happiness moment today mom, because it is mine. These moments with these beautiful people are so precious. I am so grateful for this kind of love. 

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