We always have a family show we watch together. Right now it’s Schitt’s Creek which is silly and stupid, but also really funny and we can relate to it.
A family who used to have money and suddenly doesn’t? Ummm yeah.
It’s Canadian too which is extra cool. But mostly I just like that it’s a way we gather together and unwind and spend time together.
Family is what it’s all about after all.
We had our second annual start of summer potluck at the community hall tonight.
I love this community we are part of. The roots are deep and the love is strong. It was so awesome to visit, laugh, eat, play cards, and share time with family and neighbors.
We are fairly unique these days in that we have so many families who have lived together for generations. Having flown solo for so many years in our gypsy era, I appreciate even more the grounding joy of our loved ones.
We are blessed.
I think I really needed a few days of just being quiet.. no blogging.. not much doing besides what was essential to life.
I needed to reconnect with the Divine, I needed to rebalance myself, I needed to remember that things work so much better when I come from a place of love instead of a place of fear. How he treats me is his Karma, how I react is mine. All I can do is work on how I react to things – really how I act in general.
I get anxiety when what I say and what I do don’t line up with how I feel. I also get anxiety when I don’t feel safe. But I also am learning that a lot of that is based on memories, and I am not going to be defined by those memories.
So, I’m taking a deep breath, dusting myself off yet again, and moving ahead on this path. With one very dark exception I have a very blessed life. I am going to spend more time focused on letting that light shine in instead of letting the dark take over.
Again, it goes back to my desire now for peace over all else. I want a happy life of course, but more than anything I want a peaceful life – that source of joy is eternal.
I’ve learned a lot about myself and those close to me in the last few days. So much love, strength, and power exists here. Not only with those around me, but I’m starting to realize that I have a lot of inner strength too. The strength and courage I see in my kids is almost overwhelming. They are the brightest stars in my sky and I will keep doing whatever it takes to help them heal and learn to shine their own lights into the world.
I was unloading things from the car today when my nose notified me of another sign of spring. The blossoms are back on our beautiful crabapple trees.
My first thought was joy – ohh the blossoms are back. And my second thought was sadness – oh the blossoms are back.
When dad went to hospice three years minus four days ago, the blossoms were at their absolute best in the yard. He’d spent the last few days at home lying in his bed looking out the window at the blossoms. He died the next day in hospice.
Thank God for the movie Inside Out – it reminds me that Joy and Sadness exist together, and that sometimes Sadness takes the Joy memories and shades them blue. They’re still the same memories, there’s just a tinge of sadness attached to them.
I stood under the trees and said a little prayer of gratitude. We have had some really hard times over the last few years, but love, faith, and hope for a better tomorrow have kept us all going.
We went for a family walk this evening and saw half the neighborhood while we were at it. We have some challenges, but we are SO blessed to live where we do with our tribe around us. It’s really a unique community and I’m so grateful we are part of it.
We had some quiet family time this afternoon. Those two are my whole world and I love the relationship they have with each other.
I mean, they can fight like you wouldn’t believe, but they have each other’s backs in a way that warms my heart.
The girl and I spent the afternoon playing Uno. She has mad skills at that game and the only reason I ever even win a game is because of tricks she taught me.
I love that girl
We had a couple of really beautiful hours this afternoon as we cooked in grandmas kitchen. We listened to music and laughed – then we sat down for a fantastic meal.
The little things
I am so constantly impressed with the circle of support I have in my life. I am so grateful that I have really good people I can lean on when I need, and they can lean on me too.
My people are the kind who will run into the fire to save their loved ones. That takes a strong soul.
My boy is playing soccer again – for the first time since he was a little. He’s second string goalie, but today the first string was absent- so he was goalie the entire game.
They lost, but man can my kid play! It was awesome to see how many blocks he made. At the end of the game, the other team voted him player of the game. He was flying high on that the whole way home.
There are always good moments of happiness, even when life is bumpy
Mr. X has threatened to report me to social services as he feels “it is the only route he has to ensure the safety and protection of his children.” Apparently in the middle of this crisis we are in attacking my parenting is the most appropriate route.
The only response I had to that was to just carry on with life. I am doing the best I can – so are the kids. What else can I do?
Churchill said the outside of a horse is good for the inside of a man, and I have always believed horses have incredible healing abilities.
I took the girl out to play with Drishti this afternoon. The difference in her before and after horse time was like night and day. She laughed, smiled, relaxed, and loved on him.
