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happiness

You are really beautiful 

Tonight I had to take the girl into urgent care (again) because she was having some bad tummy pain. I swear we are their most frequent clients. 

The staff at the Cochrane urgent care are fantastic and always go out of their way to make sure my kids are well cared for and feel safe. 

The girl had to get some blood taken and she is terrified of needles. The nurse spent a lot of time talking with her and making sure she felt ok about what was happening. When she was done and we were talking, the nurse turned to my girl and said you are so beautiful, look at that face… just … wow…. look at you. You are so beautiful. 

On the way home my girl turned to me and said I was feeling so crappy and that nice lady told me over and over how beautiful I am. It made me feel so good. 

We got home and her brother wanted to know how she was feeling and what the doctor had said and all he got out of her was the lady looking after me said I was so beautiful. It made me feel so good. 

Little bits of kindness go a long way. Happiness. Love. 

(By the way she should be fine. It seems the stress of the last few weeks caught up with her and this is how her body displays it.)

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End of season

Basketball season came to an end tonight. They have their all every single game. It actually looked like maybe they were going to win for a while tonight. But even when it didn’t they continued to play with heart and with class. 

I’ve learned a lot this year watching other coaches and other parents. Our coach is the one who has taught our boys to play with class and integrity. All the way through he conducted himself in such an admirable way. Such a good example for the boys. 

Happiness moment today was watching my boy sprint out on the court and play his heart out. He’s gained so much from this season.  

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Cheering each other home

I’m sitting at a basketball game watching both sides play their best. Our boys have lots of heart, but struggle to compete against a lot of these other teams. I have been impressed with them all season – even when the score is obviously defeating, they never give up. 

The opposing team was cheering for their players. One of the younger siblings for our school started yelling over them let’s go thunder over and over. 

Something interesting happened. The stand remained silent, our team remained silent, the opposing team started to smile at this enthusiastic boy and started clapping along with his cheer. The opposing team!!!! And they weren’t making fun of him, they were genuinely enjoying it. 

That’s what sportsmanship is. I am  so impressed with those kids. That is happiness. 

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Tears in the wind 

For the first time in ages I took my Dotted Dog out for a walk along the ridge. It was still pretty windy, and a little muddy and icy, but it was certainly nice to get outside and spend some healing time in nature. It’s been a few months since I have done this particular walk and I forgot that as soon as I got to the spot where we had scattered some of Dad’s ashes I would have to stop and cry. It was blowing so hard that the wind took away my tears almost as soon as they were out of my eyes. I wonder how much longer it will be before those tears come without warning. Dad would have loved the walk along the ridge tonight.

I go on all the time about how happy I am that we are home and how much I love it here – but seriously… look at this place. I am grateful every moment of every day that God brought us back where we belong. We are home, we are safe, we are loved.

Today I met with an agency to discuss children who could participate with Celebrate Every Child. I had to give a little talk about myself and how it was that the idea, the dream, for this project came to be. It was pretty emotional as I had to put myself back where we were a year ago when we were in such a scary and uncertain place. I had just filed for divorce, our finances had been completely cut off, I was in the process of discovering so many painful things about the life I had been living. I had to go back even before that to the life we lived where there was so much pain and fear, so much hurt and sadness. And then I got to talk about how my tribe stepped in and helped me and my kids when we were at our bottom, when we had nothing. I got to talk about how the kids and I were now at the point where we wanted to pass on some of the blessings we had received.

They loved my idea of giving birthday parties to children who because of family circumstances would not get one, they agreed that every child deserves to be celebrated. I am one huge step closer to seeing this dream become a reality. This is such huge happiness I am at a loss for words to explain how grateful I feel. I think this is something that can make a big difference to children who really need some happiness in their lives.

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Teamwork

I always avoided team sports like the plague. I loved the partnership I had with my horse, but I never really got into being part of a team. 

I have learned a lot watching my son who is so drawn to team sports. It hasn’t left me with a huge desire to go out and join one myself, but I am understanding more and more how important and fulfilling they can be. 

They had a game tonight and I walked into the gym when they were all standing in a little huddle. 


It’s cool to see how they all support each other. Sure, there are some conflicts but they have to work them out so that the team can succeed. 

My boy really needs this and he thrives in this kind of environment. And that is happiness. 

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The race marked out for you

The sermon at church today was about the race marked out for you. Meaning we are all here to run our own individual race, we can’t run someone else’s race, can’t run ours the way someone else does, can’t compare our results to that of the other runners. Our journey is ours alone to walk with God and we have to listen to how He wants us to walk it. 

This was big for me as I have spent years trying to live my life to make others happy – even when I knew that it was causing my own soul pain and taking me away from my spiritual path. These past few months I have really felt things like up in a way that they never have before and I’m feeling like I’m walking the right path. Honestly, a lot of it has to do with my decision to not give a f*ck about all the things that used to bug me. They were all distractions from my journey and took so much time and energy away from what I need to be doing. 

I’m finding I make myself go to church lately even when I don’t feel like it because his sermons always seem to hit exactly what I am struggling with at that moment. I consider our decision to start attending regularly last fall one of my greatest blessings. It has opened doors and put me back on my path. 

Happiness 

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Memory lane is a strange place 

Tonight I watched my boy play basketball in the high school my best friend went to a bazillion years ago. Lots of other things may have changed over the last 30 years, but not in the halls of that school. 

It was weird to take that walk down memory lane. We were best friends from birth until we hit the age where we got married and started having kids and then our friendship seemed to have run its course. A lifetime of things have happened since then and I hadn’t thought about her in a long time. 

It was weird, fun, sad to sit in that gym where we had watched games, gone to dances, crushed on boys, and laughed with our friends. It was having a little memory movie run in my head. 

That part of my life seems so long ago. At the time everything was so urgent and important and I’ve since forgotten so much of it. There were lots of good times though. 

And to add more weirdness to the weird memory lane path, we passed the hospice dad went to right before he died on our way to the school. Another thing I’ve worked hard to banish from my mind. So there was an unexpected hit of emotion before I even walked into the school. 

But there was happiness in there too. Bringing myself back to the present and being in the moment allowed me to watch my boy and his team run up and down the court. They have such great heart, and although they didn’t win they never quit. I drove my boy and his friend to and from the game and I loved listening to them discuss strategy and be so excited to play. It’s awesome. 

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Filling up your soul 

Yesterday’s sermon was all about how to get your soul  refilled when you have completely drained it. It was very timely as I went into church feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Honestly if we hadn’t needed food I wouldn’t have even gone to town or church. But we did and so there we were. 

Always the right thing at the right time. A reminder that sometimes I need to get completely emptied so that I can surrender and allow the miracles to happen. 

Since then I have had people step up and quietly fill my soul, all without me saying or doing anything. It’s pretty awesome. 

We had a ton of snow today and while it made for some crazy driving, the girls had a blast playing outside in it tonight. That was happiness. 

Seeing the beautiful winter wonderland we live in, that’s also happiness. Knowing my soul is being cared for… extreme happiness. 

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When they get along 

I had to leave the monsters unsupervised at the hair salon while I did some errands. I knew they would be fine because they’re basically good kids, they’re old enough, and our stylist would keep them in line (she’s awesome). 

When they were done they went to Tim’s for a snack and I stopped in at the salon to pay before getting them. 

I was greeted by Tiara, our stylist, who told me how awesome they were. She said it was amazing how well they got along, the deep level of affection they have for each other was obvious in the way they talked with each other. 

❤ Happy mom moment! They are really good friends, in part because of all the moves and some of the family issues. They have this amazing deep bond. They can also be known to wrestle each other to the  ground in the blink of an eye. But they have this amazing bond that they both cherish. 

Happiness moment- hearing how happy my kids are, how well they got along, and how Tiara enjoys their company. They are a huge blessing. 

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Part of the community 

We had our community general meeting tonight and I volunteered to be on the board (or was elected or whatever the proper term is). I did this years ago, before we moved, and it was a great way to get to know our neighbours. I’m thinking it will again as we are settling back in. 

Our community is pretty special, given that we are almost all related or our t families have been here for well over 100 years. There’s a unique bond that comes with that and I’m so grateful to be a part of it. 

It was happiness getting to see some neighbours I haven’t seen in a while. It’s happiness knowing I can give a little back to the community that has been so good to me. It’s happiness knowing this is our tribe. 

It is where we are from 

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