Today I went and picked up Jenna from her grandma’s place. As soon as we stepped into the elevator to head down to the car, we turned and started karate kicking each other. Complete with loud high-ya noises. Giggling and karate kicking all the way down.
Thank goodness there was no one else around.
The happiness moment of the day. Silly elevator fun.
Tonight after supper the original four sat around the table sharing memories. Some from our childhood. Some – like the story of my parents and our most awesome cat Torts almost tipping in the canoe during a storm (Torts was so awesome he was game for such things) – predated their life with kids. When they were just two plus cat.
The opportunity to just sit and visit and remember does not happen often enough. The opportunity to share love and appreciation for others is not grabbed often enough.
My happiness moment for today was sharing those little moments.
As a bonus funny moment, this morning Jenna came running around the corner saying you should see what Ella just did! Apparently Dottie the Dotted Dog was lying down and Ella the Cat walked over, walked on top of her, and lay down on Dottie’s bum. Jenna said Dottie just lay there wide eyed not sure wait to do about it!
Some days the happiness moments are harder to find. That is one of the reasons I do this blog. It keeps me searching for moments of sunshine during cloudy days.
Today was a cloudy day.
The moment of happiness came in the form of Super Grover. While we were at the hospital my sister and I decided to go visit my cousin who is in after being bucked off his horse.
We picked out (manly) flowers and as we were standing in line, my sister leaned into a bin and pulled out a stuffed Super Grover saying and we will get this for him too. It will remind him that the next time he falls he needs to pull out his cape. Then we giggled and thought of Grover screaming and flying through the sky, arms flailing. The great thing is that our cousin loved it too – and totally got the humour.
A moment of happiness brought to me today by loveable, furry old Grover.
For at least the last year Jacob has had a lot of questions about where he comes from. He wants to know his roots and understand more about his family.
He always has lots of questions about his great grandma (my grandma). He has some memories of her – she died when he was 2.5 – and often talks about remembering visiting with her.
Starting a few months ago he started asking to go visit her grave. It’s not a place I’ve been back to since she was buried. For me, if I need to feel close to her, I just sit in her kitchen. Which is easy since that’s where my parents live and is a 30 second walk away.
But, he had a really strong need to go to the graveyard. So we went. I went for Jacob, but I also went for Grandma. I remember she used to take me there to visit Grandpa’s grave and put flowers there. Then she would walk me around and look at the other graves. My great grandparents are there, as are many great aunts and uncles. The doctor who delivered me is there. All of “old Cochrane” is there. She would show me where everyone was buried and tell me stories about them.
I realized that even though it may not have a lot of meaning for me, it had a lot of meaning for Grandma. That she would probably appreciate flowers and a visit there.
So we went there. After a little searching we found the graves.
Not knowing how I would feel being there, I was amazed at the sense of peace I felt being in that place. It was actually a huge sort of comfort standing amidst past family and friends. Really standing there in our roots.
I did notice that there was a planter in the middle of my grandparents’ headstones and although it was too cold today to leave flowers out, I will go back and put a pot of geraniums there when it warms up. 
So, my happiness moment of the day today is kind of a weird happiness moment. It’s not one of screaming joyous laughter. Today it is the happy feeling of standing in the roots of family and the feeling of love and belonging that grows out of that. It’s a deep seated contented happiness that I am grateful for.
Because it was rainy and cold out, afterwards we went to a local coffee shop and had tea, hot cocoa and a little treat. A different kind of happiness.
So, this anxiety thing. It’s mostly fear based. Worrying about what’s going to happen in the future. Worrying that things in the present aren’t the way I had wanted them to be. Being afraid to breathe into that moment. Trust me, I had the ability to find anything to be anxious about.
I had lots of real things that caused me to be fearful and anxious. But there were also a lot that were just made up in my head. Things that I was afraid of that never happened but that I wasted a lot of energy on.
Ever since I returned home I feel like a pair of blinders have been put on me. Like I’ve been placed in a bubble and all I can focus on is what is happening at the present moment in my bubble.
Being with these blinders does not protect me from fear or anxiety and it does not block me from happiness and joy. In fact I have felt every emotion you can imagine lately and I’ve felt them all intensely.
But, all I am able to focus on is what’s happening right now. There is no fear based anxiety about the future or things that could happen. Somehow The Universe has decided to put blinders on me and only allow me to be right here in the present moment.
That is a gift.
Happiness moment was picking Jenna up from school and seeing the parrot she’d been making as a beading craft at school. They’re going to donate them to the Children’s Hospital. I love it when she discovered a new craft. She loves to create.
Spring! It’s a happiness time. New life, new growth, new hope.
This spring there are lots of emotions going on here, but there is always a reminder that things carry on. That new life is always flying in on the wings of old.
We all come from somewhere and to some extent carry along parts of our past with us. Nurture or nature, we all carry our ancestors with us in some way.
I love seeing all the common family traits. Some of them learned by watching behaviours and some of them passed on through genes.
Just like those seeds we are planting in our garden, all our new life here is sprouting hope and happiness and promise.
My happiness moment today came buying the flowers pictured above. It carried on into this evening when I looked out my window and saw my brother in law digging the garden.
That is hard work.
Tomorrow for the first time in 10 years I will plant a vegetable garden. Beside the barn my grandpa built. Using potatoes my great grandpa brought over from Ireland. With my Mom, my Dad, my kids, my sister and brother in law, my niece, and my nephew.
All those generations joining together to plant new life and new hope. To watch what was started carry on. Together. Surrounded by love.
Today, after a very busy and emotional day I found a quick moment of happiness with Jacob. We came home and abandoned all responsibilities to sit in front of the TV, watch The Golden Girls, drink a cup of tea, and enjoy the sinful indulgence of an eclair. In that little moment all was good, all was right, all was happy.
And isn’t life really all about the little moments?
Quiet, simple, easy moment to breathe and regroup with one of my favourite people in the world.
For the first time in 10 years I got to spend Mother’s Day with my Mom. What a blessing and my happiness moment for the day all by itself. But the day was made better by the fact that it also included my dad, sister and her family,bmy aunt and uncle (who have always been an extra set of parents to me), and my cousin’s daughter. What a blessed day to bring the family together for a meal and a visit.
It was pretty relaxed and we were able to actually sit together and laugh and have conversations about everything and nothing. Having family is such a special blessing and if I ever took it for granted before we moved I never will again.
Extra happiness moment was sneaking off with my sister for a walk and some bonding time. We don’t get to spend enough time together just us and I treasure it when we do.
Happy Mother’s Day. Mine was spent exactly as I wanted it. I am so blessed to have the kids God gave me. They have taught me how to be a better version of me.
My happiness moment of the day today is also the thing that consistently keeps me in balance. My walk. It’s supposed to be my daily walk but lately, for one reason or another, it hasn’t been every day. Some days I haven’t gone for a good reason and other days the reason has been too tired or too windy. Although in my defense, those Chinook winds can be brutal and my blood is still set to Virginia temperature.
Today though was a wonderful walking day. The sun was warming my soul. The wind wasn’t bad. The mountains were beautiful. Things are slowly greening up.
When we got back, Dottie bolted around the back of the house in hot persuit of something. I assumed it was the deer who stare in my windows at me every morning. But when I followed her, it was my parents’ cat Flower in his alter ego state of Killer Not sure who should have been more afraid.
This evening we were driving into town and we were talking about what superpower we would want. I wanted to be invisible so I could vanish when people annoyed me and both kids wanted to fly so they could get away from annoying people (introverted family you think?).
Then Jacob said you know how it is when you just get tired of being in a conversation and you want to leave but you can’t – so then your brain goes to your body “well, if you want to stay here that’s fine, but I’m outta here”.
That is the story of my life. I find myself in conversations I don’t want to be in anymore and my brain just walks out and leaves my body behind.
I’ve been giggling about it all night. Love that kid.
Every day I try and do a little unpacking. Today I attacked the study and found a little package of forgotten photos. I had to sit down and take a little trip down memory lane. They were all pictures during the time we lived in Rhode Island – when the kids were still little kids.
Here’s me and Jenna during my blonde phase at a lobster shack near Mystic CT.
Here’s the monsters at our local turkey farm in Connecticut. We used to drive to Baldwin Brook Farms to get our raw milk. Sometimes we would stop at Ekonk Hill Turkey Farm on the way home and have a turkey sandwich and oooohhhhh my they made the best little doughnuts.
At Mystic Aquarium. My kids are consistently weird. 
Happiness moment for the day: remembering the good times we had in Rhode Island. Like with everything there was good and bad, but there was a lot of good fun there. The kids were little and we had a lot of really cool adventures together. I feel so privileged that I have been able to participate in the big and the little events in their lives.
