Tag Archives: peace

happiness

When I grow up I want to be like my aunt

I was driving the girl home tonight and she was talking about our moves and the friends she’s left behind and the how difficult it is to make new friends – to build that friend tribe.

Then she said when I grow up I want to be like Aunty Carolyn. She’s funny, but she also just does whatever she wants and doesn’t give a crap what anyone else thinks about it. I want to be just like that. Just funny, happy, and who cares what people think of me.

Both kids have informed me that if something should ever happen to me and they’re in need of new parents that they are going to Aunty Carolyn’s place to live.

This is why it is so fantastic that we are back home among our tribe. They have all of these adults who love them and show them different ways to be.

And honestly, if I ever have to grow up I wouldn’t mind being like Aunty Carolyn either (because she’s one of the fun ones who never left her childhood behind her).

So, today – God bless Aunty Carolyn – she’s happiness.

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Avoiding sadness 

When I started this happiness journey it was my sincere desire to get to a permanent state of bliss. I naively thought that if I found something to be happy about every day I would one day be happy all the time. 

I’ve begun to understand lately that I need to feel the sadness. Pretending it’s not there and only focusing on the happiness means I’m not open to learn the lessons that pain beings and the strength that comes from that. I believe it’s important to shine light in the darkness and not focus on the bad, but in order to grow from it I need to acknowledge the sad times too. 

Sometimes life is just hard, some days have more tears than smiles, but every day is a gift. It really is. Feeling sadness also allows me to feel joy more intensely. 

Tonight there was an amazing sunset. I stood at the window with my mom and we watched it go behind the mountains. And that moment of happiness – it was a good one. 

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Fall cleaning 

The house is a disaster. To give them credit, the kids have helped a lot over the last 3 months – but still – the house is a disaster. 

Today there was some space in life and strength in my arm and I was able to get a little bit of the chaos dealt with. We all do so much better when the clutter is cleared. I have no desire to live in a museum, but my brain can’t relax in a mess either. 

So there was a start to get order back in life. I like to think I am carefree and don’t need a schedule,  but I sadly have to say that I do bette when there is somewhat of a routine. 

The happiness for today was making space for more freedom, peace, and joy in our home. 

And him 

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Run to me

I went out this afternoon to share a treat with my pony. It’s been windy and I’ve not been feeling well, so he hasn’t had as much attention as I would have liked lately. 

He was out  in the middle of the field eating when he saw me walking towards him. He turned and galloped towards me. I know, it was mostly for the treats, but he did stop and give me a little head butt of affection before diving into his bucket. 

I prayed for this horse for so long, and by love and a miracle he’s in my yard. Happiness. 

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The story of your life 

I often feel unsettled when I think of the story of my life. It certainly didn’t go as I had dreamed and sometimes I question what I could have done differently to make things better. 

We made it (late) to church today – just in time for the sermon. One of the things the pastor said was you can trust God to write the story of your life   

And that’s it. Faith and trust. That’s what I need to fall back on. Knowing that is happiness. 

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Every girl needs a Ducky

The girl and I have a stomach bug that has stopped us in our tracks. Both of us were feeling pretty crappy this evening, so we cuddled up on the couch and watched some movies. Hotel Transylvania 2 which is an old family favorite, and Pretty in Pink – becsuse every girl needs to see that movie. And every girl needs a Ducky. Seriously. 

Little trip back to the 80s. Happiness 

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Tea and TV

The boy and I have got into the routine of spending an hour or so every evening together watching tv and drinking tea. It’s become a really nice way to unwind and share time with him. 

I find we often have to stop the show so he can tell me little things about his life, or to laugh at something funny. 

Mostly I am just so honored that these teenagers want to spend so much time with me. Family, it’s what it’s all about. It’s happiness. 

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Laughing at the table 

We had a group of family over for our thanksgiving meal today. There were about 20 of us which was perfect. 

It was so good to sit at that table and laugh and share food – they are a special bunch, our tribe. 

With all our blessings, there is a lot to be thankful for. This tribe, our family, they are the top of the list. Having a place to dig our roots into is priceless. And it’s happiness. 

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The moments between

Today was a moments between kind of day. After mom’s birthday, before thanksgiving which we celebrate tomorrow. I feel like there has been a lot going on in every aspect of my life and today I took some time to breathe, balance, and reassess where I’m at.

Things are shifting again. I guess life is full of constant change. For me security used to be represented as everything staying the same and me being able to sit in the knowledge that we are safe,  and I knew we were safe because nothing was going to change.

Things change all the freaking time. It’s like being a tree, I just have to be strong enough to bend in the winds of change.

And even though I continue to resist it, change is good. It either brings about something immediately joyful, or it brings pain which opens the door to change. 

Honestly, even though there has been a lot of pain the last couple of years, there has been so much more joy – sustainable happiness – soul fulfillment.

And in the moments between – when there are quiet spaces in life – it’s important to take notice of what is happening and be grateful. Especially this weekend as we celebrate thanksgiving.

I have so much to be thankful for – my God, my tribe, my home, my family, my friends, that miracle horse, our dog who narrowly escaped with her life a couple of days ago, and our too many cats.

We are home, we are safe, we are loved. That is a perfect recipe for happiness.

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