We went to our happy place this afternoon – we have decided to get back into the ritual of the Italian Centre on Friday.
I commented as we looked around the place, at how happy customers look when they are there. There’s just a happy feeling being around good food and smiling faces.
We have had the flu in our house the last couple of days, and while I’m glad we had the ability to shut down and get better, it has had an unexpected side effect. Stopping and being sick has given me the time to feel the tsunami of grief I have been holding at bay. I feel like there is a lot of mourning I need to do or haven’t done, but specifically now it’s for my mom. Things have been so busy and stressful since she died I feel like I can barely catch my breath sometimes. Then other times I feel like I should be further along in my grief process – like there is any set timeline for grief!
I have talked several times with a good friend of mine who lost her mom a few months before my dad died. She still gets emotional and says that she is having such a hard time processing the fact that her mom is gone. I guess sometimes the grief just hits hard and sticks around for a while. We are entering the time of the year when mom got so incredibly sick and things were so very stressful and scary. All these memories keep coming back and sometimes it’s just a lot to process – I look for distractions where I can but that’s not always a healthy thing to do either.
However, I look around as we are here – safely in our home. I have two of the most amazing rays of sunshine who live with me, and I know that life does indeed go on. They miss her, I miss her, but we have beautiful memories to share, and many new ones to make.
And having these feelings come up so strongly has made me realize that I need to honour them, I need to set aside time to remember my mom and the gifts she gave me. She was such an amazingly strong person and she taught me so much about myself.
We are enjoying a very lovely second summer. After the massive amount of snow we got the first part of October, most of us are welcoming this weather with open hearts.
The view today was stunning. I love these mountains so much. They bring me balance and help feed my soul.
We escaped for a quick mountain staycation since the weather is beautiful and our souls needed some mountain hugs.
I feel so grateful that Canmore is so close and easy to escape to. It absolutely is one of my happy places.
Today began the registration process for the boy’s post secondary. It seems like last year I was leaving him at preschool, and now he’s almost an adult.
How that’s possible when I’m still not sure I’m an adult, I’ll never know.
He was so excited. This is a big moment in his life. He’s beginning to make all his own life decisions and my role is moving more to love and support instead of guidance (or just plain telling).
But he’s an awesome human, he always has been – but as he gets older I see what an amazing man he’s becoming.
After 6 weeks of hard work and dedication, the girl and her dog graduated from obedience school. This dog has been the best thing my girl could have in her life these last few months.
Last year when life seemed quiet I signed up for a health coaching course. There were many moments over this last year when I didn’t think I’d finish.
But today I wrote my final exam and passed with 97% and I’m officially done!
I wrote an exam for my health coaching coure this morning – got 91% thank you very much! – and am so close to being done.
This course has been the epitome of working through it. I started last summer when my life was relatively quiet, but the next year saw my life completely shift and in many ways shatter. It makes me feel like I’m working through the change to be able to finish this course and begin building my new life. It’s time.
We celebrated thanksgiving with good friends of my parents today. These people reflect back to me (and the world) the same kind of love that my parents shone out.
This weekend has been full of contrasting emotions. Final internment for my parents, Banff and supper with my aunt, thanksgiving meal with family friends, and my kids and I have some trauma memories attached to thanksgiving from our old life. Highs and lows.
It’s a good reminder that life goes on and we keep making new memories every moment of our lives. We get to choose what kind of new memories we will make. I watched my kids be happier than I’ve seen them in ages spending time with him. I hadn’t realized how much they needed a man around to do things with, to laugh with, to experience things with. It brings a different kind of balance to our family and I’m grateful for that.
I am so full – in my belly and my soul. The feeling of contentment is a good one.
We took my aunt to Banff for the afternoon and a thanksgiving supper at Melissa’s. I love that town and it was awesome to share it with her.
After an emotional day it was so nice to spend some family time recharging and enjoying each other’s company. Sharing memories from my dad was also much needed.
My kids laughed and relaxed like I haven’t seen them do in ages
