The boy and I went out and did our Christmas food shopping at the Italian Centre – our food version of Disneyland.
I mean who doesn’t love a wall of cheese?
Whatever else that needed to get done shopping wise isn’t getting done. Now it’s family time for the next couple of days.
Happiness
I took my kids and niece on our annual Christmas shopping much too close to Christmas run today. We were lucky and I managed to park the snow covered car in the underground garage so it could thaw.
As we got out of the car my niece grabbed snow from the top of the car and threw it at me. This erupted into a full out 4 person snowball fight in the parkade.
Silly, happy, crazy moments. Happiness.
We decorated the tree at my mom’s house this evening. The boxes of decorations don’t match and don’t have order. What they do have is memories.
There are ornaments from my childhood, from vacations, from crafting nights with family, and from the kids’ childhoods.
As we hung them up we shared memories and stories about some of our favorites. When the tree was done the boy looked at and called it the tree of memories And it is. All those ornaments hold memories of times with loved ones. That’s happiness.
I shared lunch with my boy today. I feel honored that at his age he wants to spend time with me and I’m so grateful for the relationship we have. Happiness.
We all know that things don’t bring happiness, that it has to come from your heart. Sometimes though, things can trigger memories that do bring happiness and those should be cherished.
I started the morning with a cup of Murchie’s tea and some homemade strawberry jam. The Murchie’s takes me back to my childhood and time spent in Victoria, of sitting at the table with loved ones and sharing laughs, of love shared with my family. The strawberry jam brings memories of my dad. I used to “help” him when I was younger, and the last couple of years before he died I actually was here at jamming time and I really helped him, those are good memories.
Tonight we decorated our tree and listened to John Denver and the Muppets which is a childhood tradition of mine. The Star Wars lights lit up the background which has become a tradition with my kids, and we laughed and reminisced about certain ornaments as they were put on the tree. So many traditions, new and old, are made at this time of the year.
Happinesds
Peace. It’s a powerful word at anytime, but it’s one that is used a lot at this time of the year. How do you find peace? Where do you go for peace?
I felt our pastor explained it really well yesterday. To find peace first we must look upward and secure our connection to God, to our Source, to the Divine. Then we must build peace within ourselves. Once we have done that we can extend our peace outwards into the world.
I have been guilty of ignoring my connection to God with the thinking that “he has big shoulders, he’ll always be there, so he can handle the fact that I’m mad as f*ck at him.”
Turns out it doesn’t necessarily work that way.
So – the question I had to ask myself is where do you go for peace?
My soul connection has always been a horse. Before I knew about connecting, before I knew about meditation, before I knew people spent a lifetime trying to find God; I was out on the back of my horse riding through fields in complete alignment. It takes a bit more work now but it still is my easiest line of connection.
I always come back a much happier person. Today my girl looked at me while she was cuddled with her therapy cat Abu and said he’s your Abu. He makes you feel safe and loved.
That horse is happiness.
Do not let your heart be troubled
It was Christmas Party time at the Hall tonight for the first time in years. Some of my best memories are of singing for Santa with my family at the hall. It’s a tradition that has gone on for generations and came back after a 10 year hiatus.
We need our family, our community. It’s essential that we remember that this is what it’s all about – sharing love and laughter
After 5 very long and sometimes scary weeks, mom is home – at least for the weekend – but hopefully for good. The hospital gave us a 48 hour pass to assess where she is at and to make sure she feels she can stay at home. It is so good to have her back where she belongs, where she is loved, where she can enjoy the peace and quiet of home.
She’s tired, she needs to gain strength, but she is home. That is happiness.
I have seen and been part of so many tender moments over the last little bit. Being in a crisis either brings out the best or the worst in people, and I’ve witnessed so much love and tenderness the last few weeks it has really warmed my heart.
This morning we had a very odd but lovely family reunion in the hospital with me, my mom, my cousin, and her mom. There’s something about being in crisis that strips us all down to our barest selves – and that’s who we really should be anyway.
I had a tender moment of a different kind this afternoon with my Drishti. I fell in love with him the minute I saw him, but actually building a bond and learning to trust each other has taken some time. Today when I went out he wanted to play with me for the first time. I stayed with him in the field for almost an hour grabbing his nose while he grubbed around with his lips. He was more relaxed than I’ve ever seen him and he kept rubbing his head against me – it was most certainly a moment of tenderness and love. We are learning how we are together.
His sleepyhead face
Life is all about the relationships we share with others. I am so grateful for my tribe.
Christmas time is almost here and although it’s my favorite time of the year, it’s also one of the most stressful times for many people – and for many different reasons.
Family and finances are probably two that top many peoples’ lists. I go into this season with anxiety about both.
However I’m also aware that the family and financial issues I’m stressing about I can’t do anything about. It’s a good lesson in practicing the art of letting go and trusting God.
I have noticed that many people are struggling and stressing about what they are expected to give to each other. Interesting that when giving should be a joyful experience that comes from the heart, it actually causes us heartache.
This year as I head into Christmas that’s actually not one of my stresses. Sure I’m not happy with my financial situation – in the ideal world the 30k that Mr X owes us would be in my bank account and I would have the security knowing I can provide for my kids. But, honestly, that’s a giving issue on his end. I can’t change that until the system in the states comes after him.
This year, knowing there isn’t a lot extra for things and stuff, our focus is much more on family. And at the end of it all, the relationships I have with my loved ones are so much more important.
I have learned a very valuable lesson this year. I grew up in a family who gave – they gave to friends and family, they gave to strangers, they gave to each other. They still do. For years I lived in the family I created in an environment where there was never enough to give We were always lacking. Even though we had lots of nice things, there was never enough. We couldn’t give because that meant people were taking from us. Not healthy.
I have found that giving to someone when I am at my lowest brings me more joy than I would have ever imagined.
The flip side of that is receiving which, it turns out, can be extremely difficult. This summer when I broke my shoulder I had to learn how to receive the gifts of others. I was hugely resistant to that and I had to explore why. It was like I felt weak and incapable because I needed to accept help. The thing is, I was weak and incapable and I did need help. Not one single person who helped me out ever made me feel like a burden. And I’ve never judged anyone I’ve helped out either. Yet it’s incredibly difficult to do – to say yes I need your help. Thank you.
We fight for our independence and feel successful when we do things on our own. Yet like the waves on the ocean we are all connected. We need each other. We need to give and we need to receive.
This morning when I got home from dropping the kids at school I noticed the girl had left her lunch. I texted the kids and my boy – without skipping a beat – offered his lunch to his sister so she wouldn’t have to go without.
I am so proud of those two my heart feels like singing. That is happiness.
Last evening, after the family party at my aunt’s place, extended family/neighbors ended up visiting mom at the same time we were there.
I remember talking to them years ago about their kids (who are now in their 30s), and he said that they didn’t do a lot of sleepovers or camps because they wanted to do things together as a family. That has stuck with me as I’ve been raising my kids. They do things with friends, but I’ve always tried to put a lot of emphasis on family time.
Last night we were talking about the community, the family, and getting older. We all agreed that getting older sucked more than we had thought, but also that it was lonelier than it had been in previous generations.
He said focus used to be on family and on the community. Now you are supposed to always be doing something outside of the home, when before it used to be important to do things at home with your family.
That is IT That’s the secret. We need to be spending more time building love bridges with our people and less time feeding our egos.
I’ve been thinking about that all day – as I worked with a family friend, as I played with my horse, as I chatted with a cousin, as I visited with my mom, and as I came home to the happy chatter of my kids.
It’s all about the tribe. It’s all about love and the relationships we build.
So in my childhood this man used to pull me out of stupid situations I’d get into with my horse (oh too many of them), and now he offers these little gems of wisdom. And both he and his wife walk the talk. They are two of the kindest people I know.
Happiness ❤️
