I spent a quiet and much needed morning in the mountains today. Canmore is one of my favorite places to be, I feel like I’m getting a giant mountain hug, and that’s good for my soul.
Sometimes it’s important to take a little break from daily life and reset things, restore balance, regain focus, and that’s what I feel the last 24 hours did for me. That’s happiness.
Now I have more energy to give and can focus on the things that need to be done here.
My baby girl becomes a teenager in a few days. I don’t know how she went from the sassy little girl holding my hand to this sassy young lady avoiding my hand in the blink of an eye – but here we are.
She’s an awesome human being
I took her out for a special girls night to celebrate her upcoming birthday – supper and then a movie of her choice. I figured I’d be stuck watching some awful teen drama. Instead though, we went and watched Ferdinand- because underneath the mascara and flipped hair she’s still the little girl who loves animals.
And I love her and spending time with her. I am honoured that she still wants to spend time with me. It’s happiness.
My kids have joined the 4H club in our community. It’s something completely different for me as I grew up in Pony Club, but already I’m loving what this club has to offer. Today they took the kids up to Norquay and they went sledding – after what felt like months of being trapped in the house due to inhuman temperatures we all have a bit of cabin fever and it was good to get them out of the house for a bit.
Yesterday I spent some time thinking about the games Mr. X is playing with the lives of the kids. He is so far behind in his support payments its not a joke, it’s not funny, it’s affecting the lives of the kids on a daily basis. Then moments like today happen and I realize that the kids are being held in the arms of love – both here with their tribe and from Above. It doesn’t make those problems go away, but it makes the power of his hate have less effect. That is the goal for this year – to rid our house and our lives of his hatred and his attempts at fear-making. It hangs there, the lack of payment not only hurts financially but it causes them emotional pain. But his ability to make us afraid, that is getting weaker and weaker all the time. It coincides with our ability to walk in love and peace more and more.
I got to get some work done, have a car visit with my sister, and bug my horse a little bit today – all things that make my soul smile with happiness.
Things are changing. It’s time.
Today was a day that had a lot of anxiety attached to it right from the start. It’s so frustrating to get anxious about things that we can’t change, but sometimes that happens, sometimes (always) things are out of our control, sometimes life is scary.
However as I started this day, I was walking across our yard and noticed the beautiful full moon hanging over the mountains, barely visible through the trees. I love Alberta – I love it much more now that it’s not -50C, but it’s home, and it’s where my people are.
I had a really good quiet moment with my sister this morning. Both our lives are busy and even when we are together usually there’s kids and chaos – which is all good but sometimes it’s important to stop and really check in with each other, and I feel like we did that today. It was much needed and appreciated.
This evening I did much the same thing with my soul sister. We shared supper and stories, laughs and heartaches – she has been a huge support for me through my divorce and all the fallout from that and I’m forever grateful.
I feel like we have created a culture where independence is celebrated – where needing someone is a sign of weakness and we are supposed to be brave and strong all alone all the time. It’s not how I can function. I need my tribe, I wouldn’t have been able to pick myself up and be building a new life for the kids and I if I didn’t have the unconditional love and support from my people. That is happiness.
Yesterday with the windchill it was -48C which is an absolutely unbearable temperature. So much so that my car decided it was done with being an Albertan and died (well the battery died). My very kind brother in law tried to help me out yesterday to no avail and a second attempt by me and my son today achieved the same results. I put in calls to AMA and also to Volvo On Call to come rescue my poor car. AMA said it was still a 16 hour wait and the other said about 12 – this is what happens when it’s so cold and also the holidays.
There’s something kind of nice about being forced to stay home. Life gets so busy and I usually put on at least 100km/day which makes for a lot of driving and a lot of time on the road.
Today I got to spend cleaning the house a bit, visiting with the kids, and setting intentions for the next year. As a bonus, only a few hours after I called Volvo sent out Big Hill Towing from Cochrane and they rescued me by starting my car.
2018 – Our year for peace and happiness.
I come from a pretty competitive family – game nights were pretty serious events and although I hadn’t planned on it, this is a trait to have passed onto my children. And we can turn anything into a competition.
Tonight it was who has the last word with the boy and I. We were about to watch a tv show together and we ended up in a “game” of who has the last word.
It went on for over an hour. After several distractions and false promises I finally won (the boy insists he did, but it’s my blog so it ends my way).
These small moments of giggles make for big happiness
For the first time in what seems like a really, really long time I had some quality time with my soul sister.
I needed a couple of hours of laughing and catching up.
I need my girlfriends. They’re an important part of the tribe. I’m so grateful for her.
Happiness.
The boy came with me today to do some errands. There was nothing special or exciting about the trip to town except for the fact that my 16 year old willingly spent the day with me.
But the big moment came wrapped inside the small moment when on the way home he quietly said thank you for all you do to make our lives better. I can’t imagine where we would be without you.
Those words wiped out so much of the mom-doubt I’d been carrying. It’s really the most important part of who I am – their mom.
Christmas at the ranch has always been a magical day for me. The traditions that I enjoyed as a child are the same ones I enjoy sharing with my kids now and I consider myself so fortunate that we have had generations of giggles in the same yard doing the same things with the same people.
This morning I wasn’t feeling overly Christmasy – it’s been a weird year, a weird start to Christmas, and I was just feeling weird in general. I had this sad feeling that I was going to miss the magic of Christmas this year.
After lunch I had a little nap (which, let’s face it makes everything better always) and the kids came and announced it was time to toboggan with their cousins. It was -25 with the windchill, but out we went.
And the magic came back. One of our traditions is having crazy toboggan fun, freezing, laughing, getting covered in snow, and getting out and doing that changed everything.
The magic stayed for the rest of the day. It was there as I went out and played with my pony. It shone through as one of my cousins stopped by with Grandma’s special sauce for us to enjoy with our dessert – I had decided not to make it this year and it felt weird going without so it certainly enhanced the meal.
This year we were truly blessed. This year because of a few different circumstances we had the opportunity to make sure the focus of Christmas was on our family and loved ones, not on the things we received. I think through my faith, walking this spiritual journey, it is becoming more and more clear that love is the answer to every question. Today we lived in love, and that is happiness.
Merry Christmas!!
The sauce!! and the saucy kids!!
We had a beautiful service at church tonight. This year has arranged itself so the focus is so much more on celebrating Jesus and being with family than in what is under the tree. True happiness
