happiness

What I know 

I know nothing about how to ride western. I know how to grab onto the horn, I know it’s totally different from English, I know I’m not very good at it. 

I don’t really know why I spent most of the summer riding my green horse in my Western saddle instead of my English one. I kept thinking that I would learn I guess. And I kind of was, but it’s still not where I’m comfortable. Actually, before I smashed to the ground, I had switched back to English for a few rides and we both were happier. 

I’ll still learn how to ride Western – or at least how to hang on better in my saddle – but I remembered tonight how much I love jumping. It’s what I know. I love that adrenaline rush and the trust that comes with a really good jump. 

I was playing with Drishti and decided to do what I know. So I put together a really rough style jump and asked him what he knew

At first he was a little snorty, but still game to play. 


By the end he was quite enjoying himself. This was about 2’6


This is totally in my comfort zone. This is what I did forever. I know how to play with him with poles and fences. I know how to build up our trust and confidence doing stuff like this. 

And it’s fun. I love it. It’s happiness. 

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Slow it down 

One of the best things about life back at home is how we have been able to slow our pace and learn to appreciate the small things in life. That’s something we started to put in practice in Virginia, but it’s so much more enjoyable here at home. 

I was remembering today how before we left Rhode Island we went to walk around Walden Pond and see Thoreau’s cabin. Simplify simplify simplify. Our life back then seemed to be complicate complicate complicate. Slowly but surely we are learning to relax into stillness more and appreciate the small things in life. It’s part of why I love our house so much. It’s so simple, but there’s so much attached to it as well – our heritage, but it’s been our safe place. It’s full of love. 

The boy and I went to church today where they reminded us that when we are broken, instead of trying to fix ourselves (yep) that it’s essential to ask for help. I hate asking for help – but things happen every once in a while that put me in the position where I have to. It’s important to know how to both give and receive help. I needed that reminder. 

The boy made me laugh so hard this morning I was crying. I thought I’d rebroken my arm it hurt so much but I couldn’t stop laughing. We all need someone in our lives who is like that. He cracks me up and I feel so grateful that God put him in my life. He’s happiness 

I’m also grateful for this dude. He is teaching me a lot this year as well. Reminding me of who I used to be, and to keep working for the things I really want. 

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Let’s be Italian today 

The boy very kindly accompanied me to an unplanned doctor appointment this morning. Thankfully I have a great doctor and I think I’ll have some better luck with pain management. One can hope anyway. 

Since we were already in South Calgary it only made sense to go to our favorite place in the city- the Italian Centre. We made the bad choice of shopping while hangry but it’s not like any of it will go to waste. Yum. 

We grabbed lunch at the cafe when we were done and it was like we were transported on a mini vacation. 


The boy said it was like we were in Italy, to me it felt like we were at a bistro in Quebec. I miss our Quebec meals and the culture there. We had some good times, and sure learned how to appreciate a good meal. 

When we got home my mom asked if we wanted to go to Bragg Creek for supper and eat outside on a patio. Off to the Italian Farmhouse we went for another perfect Italian meal. 

And best of all, the chef cut up my meal for me – so it came out looking pretty and I could eat it! 



It was a pretty blessed day. I have to say I started it off feeling kind of sore and grumbly. But seriously – what a lot to be grateful for. Good medical care, awesome food, and my tribe. Life is good. That is happiness. 

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The boy and his bag

I played a little bit with my boy this evening. It’s the first thing we’ve done in over a month that didn’t involve him getting treats. We started playing the friendly game with a dreaded plastic bag. Considering he started out faking a heart attack to get away from the monster I think we did really well. He sniffed it by the end of the evening. 

It felt so good to get to do something with him again – it was good for both of us. And if I can get him so he’s better on the ground that will make things better in the saddle. 

Happiness


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Baptism ranch style 

The church held their annual baptisms in the creek at the ranch today. It was at my favourite place on earth and it was fun to see people come to God in what for me has always been a holy place. 


It amazed me how much the water had dropped since the last time I was there. The dam the kids were building a month ago had been totally under water then. Not so much now. It sure has been dry. 

No matter what it’s like,  it’s always my happy place there. 

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That’s a lot of bull

The kids and I went to the Cochrane Fair tonight to watch the youth rodeo. I love that kind of thing, especially the little kids. Goat tying, steer riding, pole bending, and a few other events. I’m holding out for mutton busting though. 

As we were waking through the grounds the kids saw the mechanical bull and grabbed the opportunity to give it a ride

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They had so much fun and it’s awesome that they’re experiencing more and more of their Alberta heritage. They both felt pretty pleased with their rides, and tough as I talk I’m not sure I could have done any better. I have that broken shoulder to prove that. 

It was a really fun evening at the fair – laughing and creating memories. That’s happiness. 

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Out of the sling

I had my three week checkup today and I’m happy to say that I’m out of my sling. Still broken, but out of the sling. It’s definitely healing – it’s just a bad bunch of breaks and will be slow to heal. 

Day one 


Today 


So it’s moving in the right direction.  I’m so grateful my body has the power to heal itself. We really are amazing beings. 

I went and bought a new hard hat today so when I can put my saddle on again I’ll be able to protect my head. It probably won’t be until spring as I hardly have any mobility in my arm, but it gives me hope. 

And hope is happiness 

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At the pool

The kids tried out the new pool at Spray Lakes this afternoon. We have been waiting for this to open for a long time 


I think it’s going to become a well used place for us. And I’m hoping to spend a lot of time in the pool this winter as I rehab. 

Another one of those things that makes me glad we are home. Happiness 

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Lunch and love 

My soul sister picked me up and took me out for lunch today. Pretty exciting as it was the first non broken thing I’ve done off property in 10 days. 

We always have such great conversations and balance each other so well. I am so grateful for her friendship. Our paths have been so similar and I’m happy I’ve had her to help navigate this journey. It’s deep heart happiness 

This evening I went and saw my boy. Even if I can’t ride he still holds my heart. 

Sometimes the way we can be in a relationship changes. The true test of the strength of that relationship is how is lasts during these times. 

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Melissa again 

I got the letter from my lawyer today. The divorce is final. I am Melissa again. 

My friend pointed out how true it is that I’m Melissa again  in the way that I’m dealing with my fall and injury.

Married Melissa would have felt this is all my fault, I deserved it, I don’t deserve to be happy, Im not worthy of having good things happen to me, I should never have been so selfish to follow my heart and do something I love. 

Melissa again ( the new version of the old me) feels I had better spend the winter healing, getting stronger, and improving my balance so this doesn’t happen again, maybe I need to seek out someone who can help me be more confident, I can’t wait to ride again, thank goodness for Drishti – he is helping heal my soul.  

Night and day difference in attitude. This is how I know I’m Melissa again. That is happiness. 

I saw my surgeon – who is a second cousin (he doesn’t know this) and who informed me how dangerous horse riding is (his uncle and cousin formed my childhood love of being crazy on horseback) – and while my shoulder is badly shattered and will take a long time to heal, it doesn’t need surgery and is in good alignment to heal. 

So that’s good. And that’s happiness too 


And him. That little face. He is a bright light in my life. 

I’m Melissa again. ❤️❤️

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