Tag Archives: faith

happiness

You are not alone

The part of my brain that feels sorry for myself keeps yelling out omg why am I dealing with all of this all by myself?

But the part of me who really sees what’s going on says you are not alone

And I’m not

All day long people have been coming by, calling, or texting and saying just that. None of us here are alone. We all have each other. It’s why we need a tribe to get through this thing called life.

This morning I finally got around to putting up the calendar my cousin-in-law made and January’s caption seemed perfect for how I feel today

We need to turn our eyes to that which is unseen and rely on our faith.

Today has been emotional but it has also been filled with peace and love – and that is happiness.

Gratitude:

Mom’s amazing caregivers

My tribe

The kindness of my sister who is staying overnight with my mom.

Standard
happiness

Come together

One thing I have learned as I’ve been writing this happiness blog (almost 3 years now) is that happiness isn’t about rainbows and unicorns. It can be found in every moment of life – even the crappy moments. And honestly over the last 3 years I have had a lot of crappy moments.

Lots.

Things aren’t going well with mom, we had some news today that was difficult for all of us. We are now shifting towards comfort care for her and trying to make things more peaceful for her. Love is always the most precious gift to give, and right now she needs a showering of love.

Inside that dark cloud some light appeared. The hospital today quietly filled up with our loved ones. There are sure a lot of people who love my mom, and we have a lot of people who love us too. I talk a lot about my tribe and how I don’t know what I would do without them. Today was a shining example of that truth. The tribe is quietly and lovingly holding us all in this moment and I am so grateful for that. It’s the true meaning of happiness – we are all coming together in love and prayer.

My gratitude today:

My sister

Heather

The rest of my tribe

Standard
happiness

She’s a really good person

I drove home one of the girl’s friends this afternoon after their sleepover. My daughter has worked hard to very purposefully pick out kind, thoughtful, fun friends. As this girl got out of my car she said thank you for having me over. I really like spending time with Jenna -she’s a really good person. 

In these teen years that are so filled with uncertainty, drama, and angst for girls I thought how wonderful it is that she’s also got such good friends who not only see but bring out the best in each other. That is a gift that will last her a lifetime. That is happiness.

And I completely agree. She is a really good person.

My gratitude:

the special souls who provide me with a safe place to land

My Drishti

My sister and the strength we draw from each other.

 

Standard
happiness

The gifts I bring

I feel like I’ve struggled my whole life to acknowledge and accept the gifts I’ve been given. I think I’ve always felt not good enough, or that I don’t measure up in some way. And I don’t think I’m alone in this feeling. I think most of us at some point struggle with our self worth or self esteem.

It’s taken me a long time to understand that my gifts have value not just in spite of them being different, but because they are different. God gave me these gifts and it’s my duty to use them.

Same is true for all of us. We all have unique gifts we have been blessed with. Sometimes they’re harder to find, or a challenge to acknowledge, but our gifts need to be celebrated.

Today I had someone remind me that my gifts need to be celebrated and shared. And yours do too.

My gratitude

Heated steering wheel (it’s -35 it’s important)

My girlfriends

A warm cup of tea

Standard
happiness

The foundation of the community

Our community hall has been the hub of our community for generations. We celebrated the 90th anniversary of the building last year, and as a board member it’s been an interesting year to reflect on the importance of the hall to our community.

As a kid I remember going up for lunchbox socials (my grandma always made my lunch so people would actually want to buy it), there were dances and us kids were allowed to go for the “early part” before people went crazy, and then there were the Christmas parties complete with Santa. Our hall holds the memories of the pioneers who settled here so many years ago. They are kept alive by all of us here – the descendants of these people.

I love that there are still so many people here who love what the hall offers to us. It brings us together still, and it seems to be more difficult now to make time for our friends and family – when really that’s what life should be about.

I came home from our monthly meeting tonight with a deep sense of peace and gratitude. I am so grateful I’m part of this community, part of this tribe. Happiness.

My gratitude for today:

I’m grateful for the hall and the community brings together

I’m grateful for found money

I’m grateful for the warmth of my house in this freezing weather.

Standard
happiness

It’s not Pony Club

My kids have joined the 4H club in our community. It’s something completely different for me as I grew up in Pony Club, but already I’m loving what this club has to offer. Today they took the kids up to Norquay and they went sledding – after what felt like months of being trapped in the house due to inhuman temperatures we all have a bit of cabin fever and it was good to get them out of the house for a bit.

Yesterday I spent some time thinking about the games Mr. X is playing with the lives of the kids. He is so far behind in his support payments its not a joke, it’s not funny, it’s affecting the lives of the kids on a daily basis. Then moments like today happen and I realize that the kids are being held in the arms of love – both here with their tribe and from Above. It doesn’t make those problems go away, but it makes the power of his hate have less effect. That is the goal for this year – to rid our house and our lives of his hatred and his attempts at fear-making. It hangs there, the lack of payment not only hurts financially but it causes them emotional pain. But his ability to make us afraid, that is getting weaker and weaker all the time. It coincides with our ability to walk in love and peace more and more.

I got to get some work done, have a car visit with my sister, and bug my horse a little bit today – all things that make my soul smile with happiness.

Things are changing. It’s time.

Standard
happiness

Birth sister/soul sister

Today was a day that had a lot of anxiety attached to it right from the start. It’s so frustrating to get anxious about things that we can’t change, but sometimes that happens, sometimes (always) things are out of our control, sometimes life is scary.

However as I started this day, I was walking across our yard and noticed the beautiful full moon hanging over the mountains, barely visible through the trees. I love Alberta – I love it much more now that it’s not -50C, but it’s home, and it’s where my people are.

I had a really good quiet moment with my sister this morning. Both our lives are busy and even when we are together usually there’s kids and chaos – which is all good but sometimes it’s important to stop and really check in with each other, and I feel like we did that today. It was much needed and appreciated.

This evening I did much the same thing with my soul sister. We shared supper and stories, laughs and heartaches – she has been a huge support for me through my divorce and all the fallout from that and I’m forever grateful.

I feel like we have created a culture where independence is celebrated – where needing someone is a sign of weakness and we are supposed to be brave and strong all alone all the time. It’s not how I can function. I need my tribe, I wouldn’t have been able to pick myself up and be building a new life for the kids and I if I didn’t have the unconditional love and support from my people. That is happiness.

Standard
happiness

Finding the magic

Christmas at the ranch has always been a magical day for me. The traditions that I enjoyed as a child are the same ones I enjoy sharing with my kids now and I consider myself so fortunate that we have had generations of giggles in the same yard doing the same things with the same people.

This morning I wasn’t feeling overly Christmasy – it’s been a weird year, a weird start to Christmas, and I was just feeling weird in general.  I had this sad feeling that I was going to miss the magic of Christmas this year.

After lunch I had a little nap (which, let’s face it makes everything better always) and the kids came and announced it was time to toboggan with their cousins. It was -25 with the windchill, but out we went.

And the magic came back. One of our traditions is having crazy toboggan fun, freezing, laughing, getting covered in snow, and getting out and doing that changed everything.

The magic stayed for the rest of the day. It was there as I went out and played with my pony. It shone through as one of my cousins stopped by with Grandma’s special sauce for us to enjoy with our dessert – I had decided not to make it this year and it felt weird going without so it certainly enhanced the meal.

This year we were truly blessed. This year because of a few different circumstances we had the opportunity to make sure the focus of Christmas was on our family and loved ones, not on the things we received. I think through my faith, walking this spiritual journey, it is becoming more and more clear that love is the answer to every question. Today we lived in love, and that is happiness.

Merry Christmas!!

IMG_0020.JPG

The sauce!! and the saucy kids!!

Standard