Tag Archives: parenting

happiness

An Abominable Evening

It feels colder outside today, and when we got home (in the dark) we were hangry and tired. Hungry is bad enough but the hangry combo of being so hungry you are angry can be quite scary!

I made our supper as quickly as possible. I had started a veggie curry soup in the slow cooker this afternoon, so there were just bits and pieces to add to it – the kids each had a steak because they were having a red meat craving. While we waited for supper to start I reminded Jenna that we had some Christmas shows that we could watch at some point.

With a vote of 3-0 we decided to opt for supper in front of the TV tonight and choose An Abominable Christmas. Apparently the kids had seen it before but it was new to me. It didn’t make my list of favourites, but it was cute.

Part way through supper my parental guilt kicked in and I said “tomorrow we will have to sit properly at the table and have a fancy supper to make up for this one.” To which Jacob responded “mom, you’re lucky I’m wearing pajamas.” So I looked at him closely for the first time and realized that somehow he had managed to sit and eat with  only the pajama bottoms on (sadly this is a reoccurring theme in our house). I appreciate his wit though.

I love these Christmas shows – partly because they’re cute and funny – but mostly because it means that we stop what we are doing, cuddle up on the couch, and spend some time together watching a movie. To tie down a teen and a tween for forced family fun time can sometimes be a challenge and I’m grateful that they also look forward to this time. My happiness moment.

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happiness

Ride a moose 

Today was a just Jacob  day in the house. We hit the Watermill Bakery in Cochrane for some much needed bread products (mmmmm there is nothing like good, fresh bread), ran some errands, and then headed home for equally needed naps. I love that this kid appreciates his quiet time, mama gets tired.

After a quick shut eye we grabbed my mom and headed to Canmore for a big ole’ mountain hug. Well, and a trip to Nutters because I really wanted to find Spices Sanctuary products and check them out (specifically I wanted hing, it’s not as easy to find organic hing as you would maybe think). I found what I needed and a whole lot more. Even Jacob was excited because there was a giant wall of jellybeans over in the bulk section.

mountain hug
The best past though came later when we were looking in stores. We found this funny little moose, and Jacob decided to go out for a quick ride. I love that he’s free spirited enough to let go and have fun in the moment. We did a lot of laughing today.

ride a moose

My happiness moment was when he said you know mom, I’ve laughed more today with you than I have in a long time. This was fun. I’m so thankful that my teen actually likes spending time with me.

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Who has your back?

  
The past couple of years I’ve made a very focused effort to surround myself with the kind of people who have my back. I finally realized how important it is to have people in my life who hold me up and make me a better person. Its made me become strong enough to help others and have their backs too. It’s been amazing since I’ve made that my mindset how people who love and support not just me, but the kids as well, have appeared in our lives. 

Jacob has a teacher who is one of these special people. The three of us (with some help from the assistant principal) have been working hard to stop this Caillou name calling, bullying issue at school. Finally it seems we have some resolution. The kid has been moved away from Jacob in class, there has been no more teasing, things are settling down. 

This teacher has really stepped up and it is so impressive how she’s making sure Jacob feels safe and secure at school. I’m so glad she is there and that he was comfortable enough with her to reach out to her for help. 

My happiness moment today was when Jacob jumped into my car with a huge smile on his face. All the way home he chattered happily about his day and the things that happened at school. It’s been a long time since he’s been so carefree and light hearted about school. Warms my heart. 

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Sushi party 

15 years ago when I was pregnant with Jacob we joined a birth and babies class through the hospital. For the first year after the babies were born most of us got together weekly for a baby group, we did baby swimming lessons together, and we had a massive baby’s first birthday party. 

All these years later there are two families that we have reconnected with. Tonight we got together for a make your own sushi party   

All the prep work was done by our gracious hosts before we arrived and all we had to do was sit, roll, laugh, and eat. It was a fantastic way to have a dinner party. 

We laughed and ate and laughed and ate and when we were too full to eat, we played Apples to Apples and laughed and played and laughed some more. 

There were tears shed, both from accidential wasabi overdoses and from laughter. 

What a great happiness moment. It is such a blessing to have friends back in our lives and to have people to laugh with.    
 

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School stuff 

Sometimes I think the best thing about getting older is the fact that it puts my junior high years further behind me. I get to relive those trying times through my kids though, and sometimes I think it’s more heart wrenching than when I was experiencing things myself. 

Jacob has settled in to his new school well and has made what seem to be a good circle of friends. But there’s one kid…. There’s always that one kid …  who seems to thrive on making his life more difficult. That kid who calls him names. 

I had a long talk with his teacher today about this teasing/bullying. We spent at least a half hour problem solving. I am so happy that he has this teacher – someone who he likes and trusts, who genuinely likes him, who knows the type of person he really is, and who has his back and wants to solve the issue. 

That was enough of a reason for my happiness moment, she finished our conversation by telling me that it was obvious from our talk what a close relationship he and I have. She reminded me that teens only  open up to people they feel safe with and trust. She said it was really nice to hear how lovingly I talked about him and how I was concerned about making sure he had a comfortable environment to learn in. She said relationships like that come only through consistent and caring work and that it showed in the type of person that he is. It made my heart glow in a beautiful happiness moment. 

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Let’s go riding in the car

We do a lot of driving now that we are living in the country. Most of the time I love it – I take backroads whenever I can so it’s usually stress free driving. This has opened up for us is a lot of time spent together without any other distractions (besides saying ohhhhh look at the sunrise, or look at all the deer, or are those cows out on the road?) and a great opportunity to really talk to each other.

My happiness moment today was driving home with my boy. It’s a bittersweet happiness moment as he was unloading on me all the stress and worries he has about being a 14 year old boy. Sad because I hate to see him struggling with anything, I still wish I could jump in and put a bandaid on everything to make it better. But, it was my happiness moment because it was a beautiful reminder of the bond we share, of the trust he has in me that he will tell me everything that is going on at school. Life at 14 can be difficult, confusing, fun, scary, happy, upsetting, and hormonal – often all at the same time. I feel so honoured that he is taking me on his journey into adolescence and grateful that he’s secure and feels safe enough in our relationship to share things with me.

Love that kid

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Twirl it, girl 

  
If you were to pick something that is the opposite of what Melissa would do, it’s baton twirling. Yet it seems to be a passion for Jenna. And for that exact reason I love that it’s something that we go do on Saturdays. Well, Jenna does it and I cheer her on. 

Watching her discover a passion brings me immense joy and happiness. Getting to share it with her is an honour. My happiness moment today. 

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It’s who you are

I love it when my kids are faced with challenges that give them the opportunity to show who they really are. Both of my kids have a good, strong, honest, solid, character. I’m not just saying this because I wear mom goggles (although I freely admit that I do), but because time and time again when they face obstacles they overcome them with honesty and grace. I’m a better person because they are in my life. 

Jacob had two such opportunities today. He was in a group of boys on Monday who were goofing around in class and were supposed to come in today for lunch detention. Jacob has already told me about it, he knew he shouldn’t have been doing it – but sometimes these things happen and all we can do is go and make it right. 

Jacob and one other boy were the only ones out of the group who showed up today and took their punishment. Because of this, the teacher let them talk quietly and then let them go after lunch. She thanked them for their honesty in showing up. 

I told Jacob how proud I was that he’d gone and taken the punishment. It let the teacher know what kind of person he is. She now  knows that while he is a teen and sometimes gets to talking too much, he’s also honest and reliable. 

His second incident today was with a peer. 

Jacob keeps his hair trimmed very short – he alway has – and it looks good on him. It’s neat, tidy, and easy to care for. Some kid has decided to mock him for this look and call him Caillou (only in Canada would he be teased by being called Caillou). It’s been going on for a little while, and although Jacob generally ignores the kid, it does bother him. 

Today the kid came up and started calling him Caillou again and then started humming  the theme song  – worst song ever for being an ear worm by the way. Jacob said he looked the kid dead on and then started bouncing in time to the music singing Caillou c’est moi, je suis Caillou. He said it shocked the kid so badly he didn’t know what to say and just turned and walked away. 

So proud of him. He was in a situation that could have led to a big confrontation and instead he turned the other cheek. By remaining passive and not playing into the teasing, yet at the same time standing up for himself he diffused the entire situation. 

This is a great example of the character of my kid. This is who he is at the core of his being and I couldn’t be prouder that when it matters these are the character traits he draws from. 

Today my happiness moment is being shown what a kind, honest, respectful, happy kid I have. I’m lucky to have him  call me mom. 

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Bonus Mother’s Day gift 

I had one of those rare moments this morning as a mom where I got a pat on the back for what I do. I do what I do because I love them deeply, and for no other reward, but the odd good job mom is always appreciated. 

This morning Jacob looked up at me over his bowl of cereal and said I’m so happy you’re our mom. I mean,  you’re always looking for fun stuff for us to do. I’m glad we are with you. 

I said thanks buddy. Tears welling up. 

He said I mean it, we are so lucky. We have such a great life here and I’m happy you’re looking after us. Plus you never try to hold us back from doing the things we really want. 

That made me so happy. I always waht to be their safe spot and have them feel that I encourage them in all they do. 

My happiness moment. I love those two humans from the depths of my soul. They have made me a better version of myself. 

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Cat and mouse games. 

With the unstructured life we lived in the summer, Ella the cat and I fell out of our routine of playing fetch in the morning. She also had stopped joining me in my morning yoga stretches  

Ella being very uncooperative as I try and take her picture.    
Aladdin being posing for the camera. He didn’t want to be left out. 

 The last couple of days as the kids have finally settled into their school routines, Ella has decided it is time to revive our old game. Fortunately for her, Abu and Aladdin don’t seem to care about her precious mice at all. Although Aladdin is starting to show some interest only because Ella is so obsessed with them. 

Playing fetch with Ella became part of our morning routine pretty much right after she adopted us last year. It is something I really enjoy- a good bonding time with her as well as a quiet mind time for me. 

I realized today that being back in our routines is a good thing. Because of new school times, Jacob and I have an hour in the morning together. We go to Tim Horton’s and order the cheapest drink we can get and sit together and visit. It’s quickly becoming a favourite part of the day. A chance to have quiet one on one time with my teen. 

Because we are eating at a better time we are cooking in a more structured manner. Tonight being Friday we had our traditional pizza night. It was wonderful all of us being in the kitchen together cooking the meal. 

We are getting to bed earlier and are better rested. Again a bonus to the routine. 

Before starting to study arurveda I was not as good about followijg a routine. Now that I am so used to following my Ayurvedic routine I find our whole household is a much happier and healthier place. 

My happiness moment today was when Ella dropped her toy mouse on my yoga mat and sat and stared at me until I sat up and threw it for her. She knew it was time to pick up our old habits and structure ourselves again. Much as I like to claim to be a free spirit, our house needs a certain amount of structure in order to thrive. 

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