Tag Archives: Bliss

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Shriners and horses 

 The kids and I went to the Cochrane Labour Day Parade this morning. It’s been at least 10 years since I’ve been (so Jenna has never been and if Jacob has it was when he was a toddler) and it is my all time favorite parade. 

When I was little I used to ride my horse in the parade as a part of the Cochrane Pony Club, then later on I became a very happy spectator. They used to hand out little Dixie  Cups of ice cream and we would park our bums on the sidewalk and wave at friends and neighbors as they passed by. 

As my cousin and I were waiting for the parade to start she mentioned that her favorite part of a parade were the marching bands. That she wished that there were more bands in this parade and why weren’t any of the Stampede bands in it?

I said that to me the best thing about a parade were the Shriners and the horses. The Cochrane parade is full of both. No wonder it’s the best parade of all in my mind.

I mean who wouldn’t want to drive around in a little Dukes of Hazzard car??

 

 I was also saved my typical anxiety/panic attack as aside from the one I saw walking on the sidewalk, the parade was completely clown free. 

Happiness moment. Sharing one of my favorite events with my kids. Extra happiness moment was being with my cousin. So good to be back in the tribe. 

I wrote the other day about the song May It Be and how Jacob and I both came to love that song separately. We claim to have very different tastes in music, but once in a while our tastes align in the most unexpected ways. 

This morning when driving into town Crazy Train by Ozzie Osbourn came on. He reached for the volume on the radio and at the same time I was turning it up on the steering wheel. Fellow metal heads. Who knew!!?! Neither of us look like typical headbanger type people- he a jock and me living in yoga pants. But, I have always loved heavy metal from the 80s. And since Jacob didn’t know that about me it made it ok for him to like it too! Even Jenna gets into it. She’s a big lover of Bon Jovi and KISS. I love that drive into town, we have some of our best times on the road. 

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Tears from heaven 

I’m finding as I move further into my understanding of who I am (with the help of my Ayurvedic studies, my meditation, my yoga, my increasingly closer relationship with The Source) that I am loving my sacred quiet morning times more and more. They are what gets me on my path for the day ahead and the more relaxed and at peace I can be when I start off, the better my entire day is.

This is how we started the morning on our terrace at the Tamaya Resort, so quiet and peaceful and warm. 

After helping Mom get ready for her course I headed back out along my Sunflower Path to clear my head and stretch my legs. As I began walking I was impressed with how quiet my head was. I was congratulating myself on how unstressed and uncluttered I was as I strolled along. Of course, no sooner did those thoughts come than my emotions were all like oh yeah? You think you’re all zen? Here, let me show you what’s really going on inside. And suddenly I was filled with rage.

By the time I realized how completely angry I was, I was at the halfway mark which looks out over the river towards the mountains and towards one of Dad’s sunflowers. So, I stood there and mind raged at the Dad-sunflower. 

Now, it was cloudy when I left for my walk, but I’d been out for about a half hour and although it was a bit chillier than I had thought, it was just overcast.

As I reached the peak of my mind-yelling at sunflower-Dad I started crying. Thank goodness I’m getting more comfortable with this whole bawling my eyes out in public thing (it helped that the path was quiet and I had this space to myself) because my eyes really let ‘er rip with those wet tears.

I was standing there bawling with a huge rock on my chest and a big lump in my throat as my mind-yelling turned into deep sorrow and I realized I was more really sad than really angry. At this exact moment it started to rain. Tears from heaven.  I stood there crying in the rain for a few minutes just allowing all the emotion to flow out of me and into the rain, into the river, and towards sunflower-Dad.

Then I was done and so was the rain. I felt the weight leave my heart and clear my throat. As these grief and sorrow feelings flowed away, the rain stopped. I waved to sunflower-Dad and walked back to the path to finish my walk. The second half of my walk was lined with the rest of the sunflowers and I had the strong feeling it was Dad reminding me that I wasn’t alone.

When I came back to the room I turned on the TV to listen to while I organized things. The channel was on The Doctors and they had some guy on talking with Vicki from RHOBH. She lost her mother a few months ago and she was getting messages from her through this medium. Then he went on say that so often people who have passed on are trying to contact us, but that we have to remain aware of the signs.

I smiled and thought how much I appreciated that Dad made his signs pretty easy for me to see. But, he loved us like that – he would try and make it as easy as possible for us.

I turned off the TV, rolled out my yoga mat and spent some time in quiet body stretching reflection.

My happiness moment: my tears joining with Dad’s tears from heaven. Because happiness isn’t always rolling on the floor belly laughing. Sometimes it comes from a deeper place in the soul.

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On top of the world. 

   

As I was finally getting dressed today (I can’t even say this morning. Don’t judge, slow mornings are awesome and too rare), the song on top of the world by Imagine Dragons came on my playlist. I love this song and know it only because of my continuous play of a Pandora station when we lived in VA. 

As the song was playing I felt my spirit begin to pick up a little bit. I hadn’t been in a bad mood, but joy wasn’t radiating out of me. While I listened to the lyrics I realized that if I’m not now on top of the world, I’m climbing those last few peaks. 

Even with all the heartache and trauma of these past few months, I really feel like big changes are happening to me. I feel like I’m finally starting to hit my stride. 

I have paid my dues to the dirt, been waiting to smile, been holding it in for a while, and absolutely been dreaming of this since I was a child. I feel like finally I’m starting to live the life I’ve dreamed of. The one that somehow I felt I never deserved. I deserve to be happy (we all do). 

My happiness moment began at 5 am when I woke up. I looked outside to see a giant, orange, glowing, full moon peering in the window at me. It was beautiful. I carried that image with me until I stood on my cousin’s deck and we stared west to the mountains – each taking a big contented sigh as we expressed gratitude for where we live and the lives we have. 

These sunset pictures I took when we were here at Christmas time. I live in a place filled with such beauty and flowing with such love. The fact that we have been able to come full circle and restart in the house where my family truly started here over a hundred years ago is a blessing I am thankful for every day. 

I keep wishing dad was here to share all this with me. I know he’s around in spirit, but I sure could have used him around for more of the journey. 

 Lyrics for On Top Of The World By Imagine Dragons

If you love somebody

Better tell them why they’re here ’cause

They just may run away from you

You’ll never know what went well

Then again it just depends on

How long of time is left for you

I’ve had the highest mountains

I’ve had the deepest rivers

You can have it all but not til you move it

Now take it in but don’t look down

‘Cause I’m on top of the world, ‘ey

I’m on top of the world, ‘ey

Waiting on this for a while now

Paying my dues to the dirt

I’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ey

Been holding it in for a while, ‘ey

Take it with me if I can

Been dreaming of this since a child

I’m on top of the world

I’ve tried to cut these corners

Try to take the easy way out

I kept on falling short of something

I coulda gave up then but

Then again I couldn’t have ’cause

I’ve traveled all this way for something

Now take it in but don’t look down

‘Cause I’m on top of the world, ‘ey

I’m on top of the world, ‘ey

Waiting on this for a while now

Paying my dues to the dirt

I’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ey

Been holding it in for a while, ‘ey

Take it with me if I can

Been dreaming of this since a child

I’m on top of the world

‘Cause I’m on top of the world, ‘ey

I’m on top of the world, ‘ey

Waiting on this for a while now

Paying my dues to the dirt

I’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ey

Been holding it in for a while, ‘ey

Take it with me if I can

Been dreaming of this since a child

And I know it’s hard when you’re falling down

And it’s a long way up when you hit the ground

Get up now, get up, get up now

And I know it’s hard when you’re falling down

And it’s a long way up when you hit the ground

Get up now, get up, get up now

‘Cause I’m on top of the world, ‘ey

I’m on top of the world, ‘ey

Waiting on this for a while now

Paying my dues to the dirt

I’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ey

Been holding it in for a while, ‘ey

Take it with me if I can

Been dreaming of this since a child

I’m on top of the world

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Nature drive 

This afternoon Jenna and I headed over to my cousin’s house. On our drive back home we looked across the field and saw deer grazing in the pasture. When we looked back to the road,  we saw a great horned owl   He was giant, sitting there on the post having something for dinner. Of course by the time I stopped the car and opened my camera app on the phone he was gone, but he looked like this:

An amazing creature. 

  

Happiness moment, driving around home and being so intimately connected to nature. It’s good for my soul. 

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Doing the right thing. 

My happiness moment was this evening in Cochrane with the kids. We were in the parking lot and Jacob came to me and said we needed to go to the TD Bank. Since we don’t bank there I had no idea what he was talking about and said as much. 

He showed me someone’s bank card that he had found on the ground behind our car. He was insistent that it be returned safely to the bank for the owner to be notified. He took it over himself, explained what had happened and turned the card in. 

When he got back in the car he smiled and said that feels so good, having done the right thing and helped that person out. I bet they’ll be really upset that it’s lost and then relieved that the bank has it. What if they’d just deposited 10 million dollars and then they’d lost it?

Watching him know what the right thing to do is and act on it was a happiness moment and a proud parent moment. 

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Swinging

Today’s happiness moment was sitting with my mother in law watching the kids on the swings. 

Jenna’s joy leap in motion is how I feel this summer. Leaping towards happiness. Leaping into life.   

A secondary moment was walking the labyrinth with them. They actually took it pretty seriously and then went and sat quietly in the middle when they were done so I could finish. As soon as I told them it was like a waking mediation they were excited to try it. 

  

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I lava you. 

  

It was rainy and cold today. Like 8C cold, and I could see my breath while walking home tonight. Brrrrrrr. Time to invest in some slippers to keep my feet warm. I also could use a nose slipper. I don’t like a cold nose. 

I woke up at 6 and had breakfast. Since the house was quiet I went back to bed and lay there reading. Apparently I fell asleep because the next thing I knew it was 11. The happiness moment in a rainy day – having nothing to do besides relax and recharge. 

After a significant amount of doing nothing,  I took the kids and cousin kids into town to see Inside Out again. It was even better than the first time. It amazes me how that movie has opened the way for discussions about emotions that we would never have been able to have. I find this particularly with Jacob. He uses the emotion balls and the emotion personalities to dig to such a deep level of emotional exploration. Without having been given this vocabulary he would have never been able to express himself so well. I am so grateful for this. It has deepened our relationship- and as he walks farther into these teen years I want him to always be able to express his emotions with me knowing that it is always safe. Extra happiness moment today. 

I love the Lava short film at the beginning. It’s so cute. And deep. And happy/sad. 

  
We go to bed happy and relaxed. Full of all those emotions, but mostly Joy. 

  

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It’s MY happiness moment. 

We had to go into the mall today. Kind of a bummer because  it was 31C out and since it’s the 11th of August, summer could end without  notice. That said, at least we were going to the store for a fun shopping experience. I was buying a birthday present for a niece and it included a stop at Lululemon. 

Say what you will about the place, I always have a happy shopping experience at Lululemon. Sure, the clothes run a bit pricy – but I love them, and I’ve noticed all clothes everywhere are pricy. I balance my obsession by doing the rest of our shopping  at TJ Maxx or Winners. 

Jenna and I played around in the store, for the first time ever I even let her try on some clothes (something I’d avoided as I didn’t want to share my small funding for my clothes with her) and she had a blast. She brought in a whole bunch of clothes and found a pair of OM Pants that were on sale. Thank goodness for their sales. I bought her the pair for her first day of school, got the gift certificate and we ran out of the store before I weakened and bought everything in sight. 

As we were standing in the mall figuring where to go next Jenna sat on the Lululemon wall and said mommy, take a picture of me. 

  

She was very insistent that I take the picture and wanted it to be a good one. When I asked her why she was making such a big deal of it, she said I want you to write about it in your blog mommy. I want this to be your happiness moment today because it’s my happiness moment. She reached over and grabbed my hand. I want us to share our happiness moment today. 

What a sweetheart. And that right there was my happiness moment. 

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