happiness

Light at the end of the tunnel

I took my boy out for a special one-on-one end of summer thank you for helping out lunch in Cochrane this afternoon. If you haven’t been to the Fence and Post – go – seriously – the food is amazing. When he took a bite of his dessert (the tart) he made faces I’ve never seen before. When I asked if he was enjoying it he said I feel like I should share this with you, but it’s so good I don’t want to. I have never tasted anything quite this good before and my body is confused by all the happy feelings it has. Much as I enjoyed my cake, obviously next time I’ll have to try the tart.

And a grilled cheese to die for – brie and apple with other yummy things inside. The boy had pastrami. And OMG the corn chowder. My stomach is still thanking me.

 

And while this could have very well been the happiness moment of the day (and it really, truly is a happiness moment), I had an unexpected one come later on. I was having a serious conversation with the boy about how I was feeling like I had let them down this summer by being hurt, how I had to ask them to do so much more, and how I was feeling overwhelmed by all the things that needed to get done. His response (and this was in the middle of him being mad at me, so it came as a huge heart happy surprise) was this: mom you think you’re a burden to us? You’re our light at the end of the tunnel. You’re what holds us up, you’re the only person we have we can count on. You brought us out of the darkness and have shown us a life full of light. 

Overwhelmed by his words. I always feel like I haven’t done enough, I wish I could remember to see things from his eyes more often. I would be a lot kinder to myself.

 

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That’s a lot of bull

The kids and I went to the Cochrane Fair tonight to watch the youth rodeo. I love that kind of thing, especially the little kids. Goat tying, steer riding, pole bending, and a few other events. I’m holding out for mutton busting though. 

As we were waking through the grounds the kids saw the mechanical bull and grabbed the opportunity to give it a ride

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They had so much fun and it’s awesome that they’re experiencing more and more of their Alberta heritage. They both felt pretty pleased with their rides, and tough as I talk I’m not sure I could have done any better. I have that broken shoulder to prove that. 

It was a really fun evening at the fair – laughing and creating memories. That’s happiness. 

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A rainbow on a cloudy day

I broke down yesterday and got some pain medication for my shoulder. For the last couple of weeks I’ve used my oils and that’s about it. Unfortunately the pain level was staying pretty high and it was time to do something about it. 

They gave me something less intense than Percocet but with more punch than Tylenol. It seemed perfect. Except my body hated it. I was up all night having a reaction to then meds so this morning there was yet another trip to urgent care. It seems things are sorted out now and I have some different meds to try (ugh). 

We came home, I had a nap, and was trying to figure out how I was  going to feed us when my guardian food angel appeared. A neighbor and friend from church has supplied us with two huge meals already (and some awesome cookies and banana bread). She announced that she had made a meal, was heating it up, and would bring it over shortly. 

Talk about a rainbow on a cloudy day. 

She brought over the best Shephard’s Pie I’ve ever had, garden carrots, and garden beets. With every bite I heard things like “ohhhh potatoes, mmmmm taste the carrots” come from the kids. 

It is so incredibly kind and I am so completely humbled by how we have been looked after. That is happiness. 

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Donair Poutine 

I picked my boy up from work and we had to go try Donair Poutine at Donair On The Run – it’s their new special. And who knew it would be so good!?! That place is addictive. It’s so awesome that we have found a place we love, that serves good food, and is pretty darn cheap. 

Cooking these days is pretty much impossible, and we have been so lucky to have people drop off food, but we have also snuck in the odd meal here. 

One thing about this broken shoulder is it’s really forced me to have quiet time. And with that has come a lot of quiet time with my boy. And I love that. It’s happiness. 

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Girls’ night and a guy 

The boy joined me this evening for an impromptu girls’ night supper at the donair shop. I’d like to think he came because he loves me, but he came for the donairs. And at 7$ how can you go wrong?

Interestingly though, he really enjoyed himself. He laughed at the silly stories right along with us, and jumped in with a few of his own. 

As we were walking back to the car he said now I get why these girls’ nights are so important to you. They’re hilarious. 

I am so grateful for my girlfriends. I don’t know how I’d get through without them. 

That is happiness. 

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At the pool

The kids tried out the new pool at Spray Lakes this afternoon. We have been waiting for this to open for a long time 


I think it’s going to become a well used place for us. And I’m hoping to spend a lot of time in the pool this winter as I rehab. 

Another one of those things that makes me glad we are home. Happiness 

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happiness

That’s gratitude 

Today I took a good look at the helmet I was wearing when I fell off my horse earlier this week. 

I had been amazed at how thoroughly I had shattered my shoulder yet not damaged any other part of my body – especially my head which had landed inches away from that shoulder. 

My helmet has a huge crack in it. I broke it when I fell. If I hadn’t been wearing my helmet, I would have shattered my head. 

It’s the same feeling I had years ago when I was in a bad accident and knew I only survived because I had my seatbelt on. 

I am alive because I had on my helmet. I’ve always complained about wearing one, but swore to myself I’d do it every time when I got my new horse. And I have – every single time. 

What if I hadn’t? 

It’s a different kind of happiness than what I usually write about – but it’s happiness in a very pure form. I love this life and I’m grateful for it. 

This was a pre fall photo 

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All in a day’s work 

I got to see my boy at his job today. This work has been such a great thing for him / he’s learning responsibility, but also has gained a whole new social network, and has developed a new confidence which has been awesome to watch evolve. 


I’m so proud of both my kids. They are such kind, caring, awesome human beings. They are the brightest stars in my sky – and seeing them happy makes me happy. 

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Stampede breakfast 

We had our annual stampede breakfast at the hall this morning and because I’m on he board I helped put it on. Mostly this included scrambling 30 dozen eggs – which was hot work, but we had fun while doing it. 

This is one of my favourite parties of the year – almost all of the community comes out to visit and eat. This year as an extra bonus one of my childhood friends showed up – I found out she’s dating one of the guys from out here – and we got to catch up a little on life. She’s so happy and at peace with where her life is. It’s good to be in the energy of people like that. 

The morning was filled with visits and laughter with cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends. I’ve said it before – but I really feel like I won the tribe lottery. 

This is happiness 

The group photo was taken by Holly Nicoll, the rest came off my iPhone. 

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I see God in everything 

I came into today with very mixed emotions – on the one hand it is the 16th birthday of my beloved son, on the other hand Father’s Day has become a rather difficult day in our household.

I have been doing A Course in Miracles and the lesson today was about how I see God in everything. I read it, I remembered it, I prayed about it – then I began my day.

I started by making the boy’s traditional birthday pie for his breakfast. The girl had stayed up late and left a trail of notes for him to read as he made his way downstairs telling him how much he was loved.

I thought how appropriate it was that he was eating pie this morning, not only for his tummy but also because my Dad loved pie and it was a nice way for me to remember him. There was definitely God in everything around me.

 

I dropped the girl at her morning ball game and the boy at church and then headed off to Glenbow Ranch to have a little quiet time in the flowers so I could honour my Dad. Wildflowers were my Dad’s thing and he had taken me to this park the summer before he died so we could look at the flowers.

 

After I walked around a little bit I stopped beside this wood lily which just happens to be my favourite flower of all. I sat on the side of the hill and cried a little bit (thankfully I was alone – the public crying gets to be a little much sometimes). I was looking up the hill for a while – as in the photo above – and then turned my position and looked west. I realized that from where I was sitting I could see the ranch, I could see Moose Mountain, I could see home. It was really comforting to just sit there in the quiet with the flowers around me, holding memories of my dad, and just be thankful for the life I have. I could sit there beside that flower and really, truly see God in everything.

After the girls won their ball game – and it was a very hard earned win – we took the boy out for lunch at Mr. Mikes. Talk about trying to cram everything into one day – I was worried I wouldn’t get to spend much time with him on his birthday because the win meant that the girls were off to at least 2 more ball games in NE Calgary and the boy had to work this evening. But we grabbed the small moment and made the best of it – God in everything. 

The girls played hard this afternoon. It ended up being the same team from the morning and they battled it out for two more games to finally become tournament champions. This was no small feat – these girls were certainly the underdogs at the beginning of the season and they dominated. Jenna is still flying high. God in everything – it was easy to see as the parents cheered and laughed and as the kids played and thrived.

The win was celebrated by a very late supper with the boy at his work. This work has brought out so much in him, it has been a great step into adulthood. God in everything.

 

I gave the boy his present late last night. I had ordered custom made Mala beads a few weeks ago – it was the only thing he had asked me for. Every bead was put on with love and in prayer. It was added to a box that was filled with letters written by the important people in his life – his loved ones, his family – and a HUGE thank you to all of you who wrote the letters. He has been sitting and reading them and smiling with glistening eyes. It is something he will treasure for the rest of his life. God in everything, His hands in the love in those letters that the boy will be able to pull out and read for the rest of his life and always remember that he is loved.


This day may have started with mixed emotions, but it was a day of big happiness, and one that I am incredibly grateful for.

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