Tag Archives: home

happiness

Honey and ginger

I would have thought the boy was mansick today, but since I’m also dragging today it must be the real thing.

Since it’s Sunday and there’s 40 feet of snow outside we took advantage of a quiet day. I actually got a lot of studying done and a little bit of organizing – it’s time to purge all the things I don’t need again.

The sick treat of the day was honey and ginger – my favorite home remedy for feeling under the weather. And a little On Guard just for good measure.

I had a fun text time with a cousin who shares the same view as us. We often text each other when the skies are beautiful or the moon is out so we can share the moment. Today our shared moment included immense gratitude for where we live. We are blessed.

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Another new normal

We had a family meal at the house tonight – moving into another new normal now that mom is gone. That house needs laughter and family in it, to me that is what our home is all about – a gathering place for our tribe. It was good to feel life in it again – good to have people who love us and love that old house together. We need to continue to build memories here, we need to continue coming together.

I spent some time this afternoon in gratitude for the tribe, for the family we have here. The kids and I are so blessed to be surrounded by these people who love us – whenever I feel like we are so alone all I have to do is look outside and see imprints of generations of our people, or I look at the walls of this family home, and I am almost overwhelmed with how lucky I feel that I have these roots.

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Little girls on surly ponies

I had tea and shared stories with an old friend. I have known her since we were little girls on surly ponies. So, even though we hadn’t sat down and visited properly in years we know the core of who each other is and that makes picking up again so easy.

I love it because although we have each been on our own bumpy and winding paths, we have been on similar journeys to find ourselves and our soul purposes. And I love talking with people about their soul purpose, their dharma, the thing that makes them come alive, and how they’re going about making it come together in their lives. It helps me figure out what mine is.

I actually left our conversation with the beginnings of a few ideas rattling around in my head.

I am so grateful we are home as I am surrounded again by my tribe. I have such a deeper appreciation for these people now than I did before I left here for our gypsy years. I need the love and support, the laughter and tears, the knowledge that I am with people who know who I am because they’ve known me forever – but who also let me learn and grow.

I need more moments like that one. It helps balance my soul and realign my focus on what is important.

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When the universe listens

A couple of weeks ago I told the universe what I wanted – what I would like to have happen in my life if money wasn’t an issue. I didn’t see how it would be possible, because it felt like money would be an issue – but when miracles happen they don’t always come the way we imagined they would.

I had a conversation today with someone who is already living the vision I had, and who possibly could use my help to keep it growing.

So cool. So exciting. So hopeful.

Tonight a group of us went out and laughed our asses off. We were loud and inappropriate and had so much fun. One of the other ladies lost her dad a couple of days before my mom died so we even shared tears and laughed about the weird grief things we were doing. I have missed having people to go out and do things with. It was awesome.

It realized today as I was driving around looking at cows that I am living exactly the life I prayed for. It’s all here. Sure, some things are missing, some aren’t precisely how I’d like them to be – but mostly I am living the exact life I prayed I’d have when things were at their darkest.

Cows and kids.

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The foundation of the community

Our community hall has been the hub of our community for generations. We celebrated the 90th anniversary of the building last year, and as a board member it’s been an interesting year to reflect on the importance of the hall to our community.

As a kid I remember going up for lunchbox socials (my grandma always made my lunch so people would actually want to buy it), there were dances and us kids were allowed to go for the “early part” before people went crazy, and then there were the Christmas parties complete with Santa. Our hall holds the memories of the pioneers who settled here so many years ago. They are kept alive by all of us here – the descendants of these people.

I love that there are still so many people here who love what the hall offers to us. It brings us together still, and it seems to be more difficult now to make time for our friends and family – when really that’s what life should be about.

I came home from our monthly meeting tonight with a deep sense of peace and gratitude. I am so grateful I’m part of this community, part of this tribe. Happiness.

My gratitude for today:

I’m grateful for the hall and the community brings together

I’m grateful for found money

I’m grateful for the warmth of my house in this freezing weather.

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Self care

I’ve realized recently I’ve been doing a terrible job of self care. It’s something I struggle with anyway, but it seems after I broke my shoulder everything went out the window. I haven’t been exercising, meditating, taking my vitamins regularly, or eating as well as I could be.

It seems sometimes like the more stressful life is, and the more I really need to be kind to myself, the more I let it slide.

I can’t afford to do that anymore. If I’m going to be able to care for the people in my life, I need to be able to care for myself. I need to keep my reserves full so there’s enough to give.

So today I set my routine up again. I used to be so good about following a routine

I did my morning pages, elliptical, yoga, and meditated. It’s all important for keeping my balance and keeping me grounded. I need to do all of that every day. It keeps my anxiety at bay (and it’s been bad lately) and restores my energy.

Here’s to remembering that it’s not just ok, but imperative that we care for ourselves. That is happiness.

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Morning in the mountains

I spent a quiet and much needed morning in the mountains today. Canmore is one of my favorite places to be, I feel like I’m getting a giant mountain hug, and that’s good for my soul.

Sometimes it’s important to take a little break from daily life and reset things, restore balance, regain focus, and that’s what I feel the last 24 hours did for me. That’s happiness.

Now I have more energy to give and can focus on the things that need to be done here.

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Walking the line

My baby girl becomes a teenager in a few days. I don’t know how she went from the sassy little girl holding my hand to this sassy young lady avoiding my hand in the blink of an eye – but here we are.

She’s an awesome human being

I took her out for a special girls night to celebrate her upcoming birthday – supper and then a movie of her choice. I figured I’d be stuck watching some awful teen drama. Instead though, we went and watched Ferdinand- because underneath the mascara and flipped hair she’s still the little girl who loves animals.

And I love her and spending time with her. I am honoured that she still wants to spend time with me. It’s happiness.

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It’s not Pony Club

My kids have joined the 4H club in our community. It’s something completely different for me as I grew up in Pony Club, but already I’m loving what this club has to offer. Today they took the kids up to Norquay and they went sledding – after what felt like months of being trapped in the house due to inhuman temperatures we all have a bit of cabin fever and it was good to get them out of the house for a bit.

Yesterday I spent some time thinking about the games Mr. X is playing with the lives of the kids. He is so far behind in his support payments its not a joke, it’s not funny, it’s affecting the lives of the kids on a daily basis. Then moments like today happen and I realize that the kids are being held in the arms of love – both here with their tribe and from Above. It doesn’t make those problems go away, but it makes the power of his hate have less effect. That is the goal for this year – to rid our house and our lives of his hatred and his attempts at fear-making. It hangs there, the lack of payment not only hurts financially but it causes them emotional pain. But his ability to make us afraid, that is getting weaker and weaker all the time. It coincides with our ability to walk in love and peace more and more.

I got to get some work done, have a car visit with my sister, and bug my horse a little bit today – all things that make my soul smile with happiness.

Things are changing. It’s time.

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Birth sister/soul sister

Today was a day that had a lot of anxiety attached to it right from the start. It’s so frustrating to get anxious about things that we can’t change, but sometimes that happens, sometimes (always) things are out of our control, sometimes life is scary.

However as I started this day, I was walking across our yard and noticed the beautiful full moon hanging over the mountains, barely visible through the trees. I love Alberta – I love it much more now that it’s not -50C, but it’s home, and it’s where my people are.

I had a really good quiet moment with my sister this morning. Both our lives are busy and even when we are together usually there’s kids and chaos – which is all good but sometimes it’s important to stop and really check in with each other, and I feel like we did that today. It was much needed and appreciated.

This evening I did much the same thing with my soul sister. We shared supper and stories, laughs and heartaches – she has been a huge support for me through my divorce and all the fallout from that and I’m forever grateful.

I feel like we have created a culture where independence is celebrated – where needing someone is a sign of weakness and we are supposed to be brave and strong all alone all the time. It’s not how I can function. I need my tribe, I wouldn’t have been able to pick myself up and be building a new life for the kids and I if I didn’t have the unconditional love and support from my people. That is happiness.

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