We finally pulled out the game I was given at Christmas this evening and had a family game night at my Mom’s house. It was a great happiness moment to sit around the kitchen table and laugh and enjoy each other’s company.
I feel so blessed that we are close enough to walk back and forth for visits and fun.
As a bonus happiness moment, as of 8pm when we took a break for the night from Monopoly, I am not bankrupt and I’ve only been in jail once! 
Today’s happiness moment is kind of a weird one. It was a moment that was filled with laughter, yelling, frustration, a sense of accomplishment, and a little bit of chaos.
It’s supposed to snow tonight, and I think also get colder again (I’ve stopped looking at the weather, it’s depressing). We have been so lucky that it hasn’t been super cold for most of the winter. There are a lot of drafts in our old house and I’m slowly trying to figure out how to stop any more of the cold outside air from coming in than is absolutely necessary (barring buying new windows and doors which I know would help immensely). We have been trying to get a little creative.
I found some pretty good weather blocking curtains at Walmart (of all places!) and have slowly been purchasing and hanging them up over the windows. We decided to get a couple of longer ones and hang them over the doors to outside to attempt to stop the cold air from leaking in.
I am not a handy person. Home repairs, fixing things, putting things together – none of that is in my wheelhouse. I once spent an entire night with a friend building a bookcase from Ikea and that was the end of my do it yourself home repairs. But, we are learning in this house how to fix things. This old house and I have a lot in common and I love it dearly.
My happiness moment was putting up the curtains over the door this evening with the help of the kids. It wasn’t a particularly enjoyable experience some of the time, but we managed to get them hung. We had the power drill going, measured the height, and figured out how to fix things when everything went sideways. The three of us putting our brains and brawn together to finish the job left us all smiling and feeling like we all had more ability than we realized.
There have been events over the past few years that have almost broken me. I have had people whom I trusted smile to my face and then turn around and attempt to break me without a second thought. At the worst of the worst I was just-about-broken.
Then I had a realization that I still had some choices. I could stay as I was or I could start reaching for a better and happier life. It’s been a long haul and some unpleasant and really sad bumps on the road, but I’m a much better and stronger version of myself. I believe along this journey that my kids have become better and happier versions as well. We certainly laugh a lot more.
I had someone break a trust with me recently, nothing too serious, but someone whom I put my faith into lied to me and that left me hurt, mad, and upset. Fortunately it’s not someone that I have to have any further contact with and I can take this as a life lesson and move on.
What it has left me with though, is an appreciation for how wonderful those people who are in my inner circle, in my tribe, are. I am surrounded by people whom I can trust and depend on. I have people to laugh with, people to cry with, and people to share my life with.
In the shadow of this one unpleasant experience I have had many other beautiful ones shine though. I spent New Years Eve at a community party and visited with a lot of extended family that I haven’t really had a chance to see since we moved back home. I was amazed at how they went out of their way to include me, drawing me out of my shy, social awkwardness to share stories and laughter.
There certainly are a lot of wonderful, beautiful people in the world. I’m blessed to be surrounded by so many of them. I may have been just-about-broken but now what I am is unbroken.
My happiness moment was driving Jacob home from school today. We were laughing and he was sharing things that had happened during his day. We came around the corner on the road to be astounded by the sunset. I had to pull over to get a better look and Jacob said mom, I can’t believe we live here. It’s so beautiful. We are so lucky. And I totally agree.
Whenever I see the sunset or the sunrise I am reminded that there is a strong, loving force out there looking after us. Being here and looking at these mountains will make me happy for the rest of my life.
Typically this weekend is a sad one. We are usually heading to the airport, crying, and saying goodbye to family. Sometimes we are lucky and a winter storm in Chicago or the East Coast cancels flights and we get to have an extra day or so. But, our hearts always know there is a sad goodbye coming.
This year we don’t have to go anywhere but down the road to our home. We have spent a lot of time this weekend talking about how nice it is to be here to stay and not have all that emotional upset of having to say goodbye to everyone.
I’ve been going over some blog posts from the beginning of this year and what really hits me is how brutally lonely we were back then. I am so grateful that we don’t have to be so alone anymore. Whatever other turmoil the past year brought us, I am thankful that we are back home.
We took the kids out for one last run on the sleds before we are back to the grind tomorrow. I think they had fun….
Hearing the laughter as they flew past me howling in joy was my happiness moment for the day. What a great start to the year. I have felt very held in love by those around us these past few days. It’s so easy to get caught up in negative thoughts, it has been very good to remember that there are loving, kind, fun people to share laughter and life with.
I have been doing a lot of reflecting and had planned to do a post about all the changes that happened in 2015, and how I feel now heading into a new year. It really is a great time for a new beginning and a new and happier life.
However, the last 24 hours have been full of fun, laughter, sledding, visits, and eating. With very little time left over for sleeping – so forget about writing.
So I will just do my happiness moment for today and reflect later. Today it was driving the girls on their sleds while the boys stood in the snow and played with their light savers after having seek Star Wars for the second time.
Also, my cousin made Grandma’s Christmas sauce and I pigged out on it on top of some panettone. It was so delicious and so full of childhood memories.
I love this time of the year when we all make more time to visit and enjoy each other.
It certainly has been quite the year. I think I’ve learned more about myself this year than all the others combined. I’ve certainly grown more as a person.
I’m so thankful that this year brought us back home and back into the fold of the family. Losing Dad left a big hole in my heart but it’s being filled with new laughter and love.
My happiness moment is still ongoing. First our annual family sushi pig out and then a new treat – fireworks in the yard. I discovered an awesome place that sells them (who knew we could get fireworks here?) They were way beyond my expectations.
It was kind like the year. Loud, confusing, amazing, a whole jumble of emotions. 
Now we are off to the community hall to celebrate the new year with some of the community.
Happy new year. May 2016 bring you happiness and love
I cam home this afternoon from running some errands in town to find ski tracks leading from the road right up to our back door.
I stood in the yard and spent some time attempting to put together what happened from looking at the snow tracks. As far as I can tell, Jenna put on her cross-country skis inside our mudroom and skied right out from there to the road, joining her cousin. There were ski tracks from the cousin’s place down to the road where the two tracks met up.
The fields around the houses are filled with memories of family, both young and old, enjoying outdoor activities – skiing, sledding, walking, riding, walking, the list goes on… I am grateful that my kids are now a part of that memory footprint.
My happiness moment today – coming home to see the ski tracks leading right out from our back door.
The day started off with a beautiful drive in the cold, bright morning air. I was glad I was inside my car. Somehow I thought it was about -5c but turns out it was more like -22c. That made it chilly, but oh so beautiful. There was something really peaceful about the time I spent on my morning errands.
The beauty of my morning drive. 
This afternoon we had one of those wonderful Christmas break moments where family stopped by for a visit. An aunt and uncle, and another uncle came by and we had tea and left over Christmas baking. Well, I passed on the baking (I may have overindulged already), but I sat and had a delightful cup of tea. I gave up caffeine about 4 years ago, and that has done wonders for my anxiety. But every once in a while I wistfully think of how delightful a nice cup of real tea would be.
Today I made a pot of Murchie’s 2000 blend and I just couldn’t resist, I love their tea. I drank my cup and it was so good! It made me feel happy right down to my toes. Even the caffeine didn’t seem to have much affect on me. Not that that means that I’m in a big rush to start drinking it again. I dedicated my life to pushing panic attacks to the side, and I’ve done a pretty good job of that. I’m in no rush to bring something in that could cause anxiety. But, that one cup was so good! A little happiness moment for myself.
We had a nice visit with the family. I often see my one uncle in the grocery store and we get a little chance to catch up, but to be able to sit down and really visit is an entirely different thing. It’s so nice to be here where there is family to visit with and share our time together.
Jenna and my niece have birthdays coming up very soon so we had our annual the girls are together birthday party and enjoyed a really nice family supper. Naturally followed by present opening and ice cream, because heck – it was a party. I feel so blessed that we can share in these family occasions and be relaxed about it. Usually this birthday celebration is accompanied by tears as we are packing suitcases and preparing to leave the next day. Not this year! I am so thankful that we are here and we don’t have to prepare to say goodbye to loved ones. It lightens the heart considerably.
The peaceful drive, the tea visits, and the girl birthday party. My happiness moments for the day.
Today’s happiness moment is a very simple one because it was a simple kind of day. We seemed to all be pretty tired and there wasn’t a lot of movement. That’s happiness in and of itself, as I feel like we are always on the go.
It snowed off and on all day which made for a beautiful winter silence. Jenna and I drove over to my cousin’s place in my city car, pretty unsure we were going to make it safely. But that little car dug deep (literally in some places) and we powered through.
My happiness moment was driving through the snow with my girl as we looked at the deer in the fields. It was a beautiful moment.
We went into Christmas Day a little unsure as to how we would feel about it. I was glad I’d already had my huge melt down cry about missing Dad last night at church while singing Silent Night. Still though, I just wasn’t quite sure what a Christmas would look like without him.
I felt his presence here so strongly today that for the first time in forever I kept forgetting he isn’t here in body with us anymore.
And oh did we manage to pack a lot of fun into the day. We ripped into Santa stuff by 6am and shortly after that into the presents. The cousins played, I pulled kids on their sleds…and we ate. Oh my did we eat!
Rear view picture 
There was a lot of happiness to be had on this beautiful Christmas Day. We were surrounded by loved ones in the place that my heart loves the most of all… Home.
I saw happiness everywhere I looked today. Happiness on the face of my child though is something that brings me joy and delight right to the core of my soul. Seeing their joy today was my happiness moment. That and hearing their giggles as I pulled them down the driveway on their sleds.
What happiness looks like
This has been a year of deep spiritual growth for me and I am blessed that we were here to celebrate the birth of Jesus with our loved ones.
