Tag Archives: home

anxiety, ayurveda, bliss, elephant journal, gratitude, happiness, home, joy, kids, law of attraction, tapping, wayne dyer

I made it myself.

When I first began this journey of happiness I wanted desperately for someone to take my hand and show me the path. I didn’t want to have to do this alone; but not only did I want someone with me, I wanted someone to save me and show me how to live a happier life. I wanted someone to do the work so that I didn’t have to dig deep into those dark areas of my soul and expose them so that I could clear them out.

That white knight never showed up, and I’m pretty sure if I had stayed waiting for him/her I would still be waiting at the end of my dark night of the soul. I would still be hoping things would get better, but not realizing the important role that I needed to play in my own happiness.

Because I didn’t have anyone around to guide me, and because I knew that I wanted to make steps towards a happier life, I realized that the only way to move up was to start climbing myself. It was really hard at first. Actually, for a long time it was brutally hard. Being isolated both in spirit and because I was in a place without anyone that I could talk to about things made it a very lonely time.

Fortunately, I decided that I could use that time of isolation to just shut down and work on myself. I had two goals, to look after myself and to look after the kids.  I worked on building a strong relationship with the kids – and I believe that was a success – we have a tight relationship that hopefully lasts us to the end of time. I knew that I needed to make myself a better version of myself in order to be the kind of friend that attracted people I wanted to hang with. So, I dug in and I worked on it.

My Ayurvedic studies have brought so many positive changes into my life. As a matter of fact, it has completely changed how I live my life and all for the better. Ayurveda led me to the readings of Wayne Dyer whose words calm my soul. I read his works every single day and it makes me feel so good inside. It has helped shift around a lot of old guck I’ve been holding. His writings led me to the Law of Attraction books which altered how I look at the world and how I think about things. I am a firm believer in that Law and I know that I’ve been attracting better and better things into my life.  A while ago I watched a video where Wayne Dyer was talking about tapping and that information has been tingling at the back of my mind for a while. Finally I decided to do some research into it and I’ve been experimenting with myself. It’s quite amazing and powerful and I’m excited to see where that leads me. I’ve felt a lot of things move in the short time I’ve been working with it.

I have found this blog to be so cathartic. It helps me to focus on things that make me happy and to celebrate them. When I first started blogging I had to look really hard for things that made me happy because I really wasn’t feeling it yet. I was still feeling hurt, lost, sad, and confused. Now I have things pop into my mind all the time will this be the happiness moment today?  Sometimes it is, sometimes not, but there are usually many things that make me happy throughout the day. I’m always amazed that anyone actually reads what I’m writing, and it brings me joy the number of people who have told me how much they enjoy reading it.

Today’s happiness moment is one in celebration of Jacob. Both kids have been so good about being the new kid time and time again as we have moved, but I know it’s hard. Jacob was sad last year because he started a new school here only to have to leave it and head to another new one this year. I told him that we lived in a small enough town that he’d still see his friends but I’m not sure he believed me. Tonight as we were getting gas he ran into a couple of friends from his school last year. He jumped out of the car and hung out with them while I filled up. I love that when we go into town now the kids always see someone they know. They already have a strong sense of belonging and we have only been home for 6 months. I suppose that’s because we are home.

It’s good to be home. It’s good to make our own happiness. It’s good to share that happiness with the world.

This photo is from Elephant Journal. If you haven’t checked them out i highly recommend that you do. They bring me inspiration daily. 

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It’s in the smiles…

One way that I know that I’m happier now than I have been in a long time is the fact that I interact with more and more people who are smiling and happy. For the past few years it seems as though the majority of the people I encountered were stressed out, overwhelmed and unhappy and it had the effect of making me the same, which I radiated back and created more unpleasantness. As I’m getting happier and happier, I’m in the company of people who are the same.

This is not to say that there are not bumps and stresses in everyone’s lives. It has been a very difficult year for me in many ways, and yet I’m a happier person than I was a year ago. It’s a wonderful feeling now when I meet people to know that we will greet each other with a smile instead of a stressed out, angry snarl. Not only is being unhappy exhausting, but when I know that many of my relationship encounters are going to be unhappy and stressful I become even more overwhelmed. I don’t have to be tense and upset in anticipation of an unpleasant encounter because generally there are none.

Now I find that I gain positive energy from the majority of the people I interact with which bounces positive energy off of me and back into the Universe.

My happiness moment today was spending the school day at the zoo with Jacob and his grade. I was one of the parent volunteers who accompanied the teachers and kids for the day (reproduction habits in animals – that was fun with a bunch of hormonal teenagers hahahaha). The teachers were all so kind and happy. Every time anything happened instead of furrowing brows and being cross, they smiled and worked through the situation. I was really impressed with how genuinely kind they all seemed to be, they certainly were welcoming to me the newcomer, and the fact that the kids were all so well behaved speaks volumes for how well this positive attitude works.


It goes without saying that the mere fact that my 14 year old actually asked me to join them on the field trip and thereby be seen in public with him was a bonus happiness moment.

As an extra special bonus happiness burst, while we were at the zoo, Jenna was home on an extra long weekend day off from school. They are weaning cattle on the ranch right now and my cousin very kindly took her riding and let her help out. For a city-turned-country kid who loves the country and loves horses this was a most magical day. Just the fact that things like this are available to us brings me gratitude and happiness.

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A thanksgiving jar full of gratitude 

We are finishing off our thanksgiving weekend in a blissful turkey and pumpkin pie coma. 

I am so happy that our first thanksgiving back, Jennas first one in Alberta, and our first one without Dad was such a raging success. There are holes in my heart from the sorrow of losing Dad, but I also feel like my heart grew four times bigger with joy, love, and happiness because we are able to spend time with our loved ones. 

Tonight’s part deux thanksgiving supper was another throw back to old times and was held at my aunt and uncle’s place. The only difference being this time I was seated at the adults table (usually I snag a seat at the kids table. It’s where all the fun happens). It worked well until the usual political discussion got heated, and then a couple of us vacated the room to make tea. It took a long time to make that tea. 

We laughed, we shared, we were together. It’s been a long time since we have had our family to be together like this with. Not a rushed visit, but a simple drive over to visit. Something to be thankful for. 

The entire day was one of focused gratitude. I woke up to this: 

  
Just in case there is ever any question as to whether or not I have things to be grateful for, the Universe gifted me with this breathtaking view from my home. 

I spent the day with my tribe, loving the fact that my kids are becoming such a comfortable part of this wonderful extended family we have. 

I finished the day with the kids and I starting a new thanksgiving tradition. We decided a few days ago that it would be a good thing this year to write down at least one thing we are thankful for and put it in a jar. We will keep the jar and add to it every year. That way we will have a record as time goes by of all the things we have brought as gratitude to thanksgiving. It was time to bring some new life to thanksgiving and we believe this will be an excellent way to do that. 

It was a big happiness day today. A whole day of gratitude and happiness. I am blessed. Happy thanksgiving everyone. 

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Family thanksgiving 

 For the first time since 2004 we are home in Alberta for thanksgiving. As if that in and of itself isn’t enough to be thankful for, today the kids and I drove with my cousins to another cousin’s house in rural south east Alberta. 

When I was a kid we used to have large family, cousin get togethers at either thanksgiving or Christmas and today was a throw back to those days. 

We ate  in the shop, which was the only place big enough to spread out the long tables for everyone to sit at. After we had eaten, and eaten, and then eaten some more; we headed outside for the traditional family baseball game. 

I have not participated in one of these games since I was a kid, but watching it reminded me of why I’m terrified of the ball. To say my family is competitive would be a huge understatement. We are competitive while still laughing lots and enjoying everyone’s company, but competitive nonetheless.   
This year I sat on the sidelines with two cousins and heckled the players. Laughed and heckled. It was perfect. 

IMy happiness moment lasted the entire as I visited and enjoyed time with my family, my tribe. I am thankful every single day that we are home. This is how I want my kids to remember their childhood – feeling safe and loved, held in the arms of their family. 

I had a bonus happiness moment when I felt an envelope be slipped into my pocket right before I left. One of my cousins wrote me a letter filled with her memories of my dad. She talked about how much he loved me and wanted to make sure my sister and I felt safe and loved and protected. It was probably one of the kindest things that has been gifted to me. And I’ve been given a lot of wonderful heart treasures to hold on to. We are very blessed and I am thankful for that all the time. 

Happy thanksgiving. 

 

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In all His glory

I was lying in bed reading Wayne Dyer’s book Getting in the Gap and learning about finding those quiet moments with God through meditation. I had just put down the book, and was practicing The Lord’s Prayer with his meditation and finding the quiet gap between words when Mom called me. She said we needed to run outside and look nothing west fast before the sun went down. 

It’s like God heard me getting in that quiet space and connecting with Him and reminded me of all the glory He is capable of. This amazing beauty that is here for all the world to see. No matter where we are or how much money we have or what we think our personal value is, this beauty is here in the world for us. 

   
   
I’m blessed that I got to stand outside and share this peaceful and loving sky with my loved ones. Happiness. 

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Potato patch

This garden has been a great source of joy for us over the summer. I can’t believe the time has already come (and we are pushing it) to take the last veggies out to store for the winter. It does not seem like that long ago that Jacob and my brother in law planted while mom and dad supervised. And yet, it seems like a life time ago – because Dad was still here with us.   Next year we will be better at weeding… next year. Given all that was going on this year I’m still pretty happy we managed to grow anything. It never would have happened at all if my brother in law hadn’t given the gift of his time and energy to dig out the garden for us.

My happiness moment today was digging in the garden with my kids. It was great to come together for this chore that didn’t end up feeling very chore-like. I was impressed at how strong Jacob is – he can do such a better job than I can of digging down to find the potatoes. Listening to Jenna’s giggle every time she found a potato to put in the pile brought a smile to all of our faces. What a great day!

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Funky Bunch

This quote came up from Louise Hay on my Facebook feed earlier today and I’ve been thinking about how this has become true for me over the past few months. If you had tried to explain to me at the start of the year, when I was beginning my Happiness Journey I wouldn’t have been able to understand the difference. Back then, from the state I was coming from, just being able to search for happiness was a big deal. I am still actively seeking happiness, but I have also found that I am able now to follow my joy (or my bliss). Not only have I been slowly able to discover what that bliss is, but I am in the process of giving myself permission to follow it and be happy. That’s been a bigger step than anything else. Allowing myself to be happy, reminding myself that I am worthy of it and that I deserve it.

A few weeks ago I took one of those silly Facebook quizzes “what is your 60s theme song”. Mine was Good Vibrations by the Beach Boys – it actually is my favourite Beach Boys song and one that I turn up every time it comes on the radio. Today, however, another Good Vibrations came on the radio – the one by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. Remember them? Awesome times…. Anyway, because I’m me, I started car dancing to it. This was moderately ok while we were on the back road, but once we turned onto the road into town Jacob was horrified with me. But, it’s Marky Mark, I said…. I used to dance on the speakers to this song I said (I was quite awesome in my time). Jacob informed me that some white people can dance, but mom, you’re not one of them. Whatever. It was fun. It lifted my spirits and brought me joy. I did reel it in a little bit so as not to completely humiliate him (it was hard).

Our times to and from school are some of the best parts of the day. It’s an easy drive – it’s a back road I’ve been driving my whole life, and the biggest issue is either deer crossing the road or someone in a tractor – so the fact that I don’t have commuting stress makes a huge difference in the mood of the car. The kids are at their funniest, and I get a chance to really find out what’s going on in their lives.

Today on the way back home I felt kind of like we were a funky bunch as the kids were reaching back and forth tickling each other, laughing, and singing along with the radio. That kind of happiness or joy just happens. I don’t have to seek it out anymore because we are all a lot happier in our souls now, now we can just allow it to flow. But, I still take the time to be grateful and appreciate it. This was my happiness moment today.

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Birthday time 

Today we celebrated my Mom’s birthday. I won’t tell you the number but it was a big one. In the past 11 years we have only been with her for one other birthday celebration, so it was wonderful to get to actually be in person with her on her special day. 

My Mom has taught me so many lessons about life. She’s taught me how to love; fiercely and unconditionally. She’s shown us her love through all our trials and tribulations. She’s taught me to love even when that seems like a difficult thing to do.

She’s taught me about strength. She’s shown me that it’s possible to beat the odds time and time again. She’s a living example that just because people tell you  that something  can’t be done does not mean that has to become your own personal  truth. She’s shown me that you can have tragedies happen and you can still keep moving ahead and achieve greatness and happiness. 

She’s now also Nana and is playing a huge role in the lives of my kids. I always say it’s important to have grandparents because it gives the kids that buffer between generations. It warms my heart that my kids can run over to her place any time they want for a visit. 

I’m so thankful that she’s my mom. She’s my mentor and my friend as well and she’s shown me how to be a better person. 

My happiness moment today was being with her on her birthday. Lucky me!!

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Family time. 

Today we celebrated Mom’s birthday with a family lunch. All of these firsts after Dad died are met with a little apprehension and sadness, but with a house full of family it felt like old times today. 

One of our struggles at a regular family meal is who has to sit in Dad’s chair at the table. It’s a mad rush by everyone to fill the other seats so no one has to sit in his place and be the reminder that he isn’t here. Today my uncle took one for the team and sat at the head of the table. It felt right. It was really nice to have all the seats filled and to have Dad’s filled with uncle dad. 

It’s important to keep the house and our lives filled with family, laughter, love, and happiness. It’s what will help us move ahead and find peace in our souls. 

I’m so grateful for the support and love we have here in our family. I believe Dad was here with us in spirit, happily watching us celebrate the birthday of his soulmate. 

My happiness moment today. Celebrating with family Mom’s birthday, being thankful for mom and all the light she shines into our lives. 

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Social Butterfly

A few years ago I was in Gaeta, Italy and I saw two older ladies walking down the street. They were arm in arm, swaying from side to side, laughing and talking and looking like kindred spirits. I remember stopping and staring at them and thinking I need to find a girlfriend like that. Within a day of seeing those ladies, I spent an afternoon floating in the Mediterranean with a cousin and we were laughing so hard we could barely stay afloat. It was one of those precious, kindred spirit moments.

Since that trip I have kept in mind that I need to surround myself with a good group of girlfriends, my tribe if you will.

For the past four plus years I have had no social life at all. It was a pretty lonely existence, and I used the time to strengthen my bonds with my kids and discover who I really am and what makes me tick (I used the silence to find myself). Now that I am home I’m finding my girlfriend tribe reappear and strengthen in ways I had been dreaming of. I am very fortunate in that I have a huge group of girl cousins, and they are the foundation of my girlfriend tribe.

Over the past few weeks I’ve noticed that the people I’m hanging out with are genuinely happy. I can see it when they smile, their smiles open up windows into their souls. I can see the happiness shine out of them, it’s lovely.  This past week I’ve had many chances to get together with old friends (and cousins), strengthening those girlfriend tribe bonds.

Today’s happiness moment was a two-parter. I went to the Calgary International Film Festival and watched a short animation film directed by my nephew (cousin’s son). He was supported by parents, grandparents, aunts, and cousins. That tribe. Later on I went out to a charity supper for STARS in Bragg Creek and spent the evening getting to know a second cousin and his wife a whole lot better. There were a bunch of happy people at my table and it was good to sit and laugh and enjoy being in the company of people who were joyful. The Law of Attraction, or your vibe attracts your tribe. It makes me believe that I’m on a happier and more positive vibe these days!

I believe I’m well on my way to creating the kind of life that will have me weaving arm in arm down a street laughing with a girlfriend in my old age. That is happiness, that is gratitude.

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