happiness

We are regulars now

Jacob and I have been enjoying a morning coffee break at Tim Horton’s almost every morning since last fall when school started up. Over these past months we have begun to recognize, and be recognized by, the other regulars who show up every morning.

After so many years of feeling almost invisible or only being known as those Canadians in our travels, I can’t even begin to describe how refreshing it is to now have this deep understanding that we are home.

Moving back here and making Cochrane our hometown again has been an interesting experience. I know Old Cochrane, I was raised as part of that community, my family has called the town home for generations. It’s always been a place I can come to and see neighbours, old friends, family, and other members of the community.

In the 10 years that we were gone, Cochrane boomed in size. The town has grown, there are so many new people, and an abundance of stores have opened their doors here. It has been an interesting experience this past year – showing the kids the Old Cochrane that I know and love so much, and exploring together the New Cochrane that exists now, one that I also hold a lot of fondness for.

Even now when we come into town we always see at least one person we know. The town has maintained a lot of it’s old, small town feel, and we have such a large web of community here. There is always that comfort of being home and in a familiar place. Yet, there is so many new things to explore – new restaurants to try, stores to visit, and people to meet.

The people here are still refreshingly friendly, there are smiles and casual greetings often exchanged on the street. People hold the doors open for each other.

It is home.

We have become regulars. The people at Tim’s know Jacob’s coffee order every morning. The other regulars all know where “our table” is, and we all comment if someone has switched up the seating arrangement. I love watching the groups of people who meet there every morning. There are groups of friends – most of them older – sitting, sharing coffee, laughing, and enjoying a beautiful start to the day. We are now a part of that community.

My happiness moment was sitting at Tim Horton’s realizing that we had this deep sense of belonging in this place we call home. Then I eavesdropped on this table of older men (perhaps late 70s or early 80s) and found they were laughing and sharing stories of running around their yards.  I have no idea what the context was – but watching them doubled over at the table in laughter while they told their tales made my whole day.

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Ray a drop of golden sun 

This evening the kids and I were bouncing along the road chattering and giggling when we had to stop to let a herd of deer pass in front of the car. 

  
Then, because it’s us and all, we started singing very loudly and very badly Do-Re-Mi from the Sound of Music. Jacob even kindly rolled his window down so the deer could hear us howling out the song. 

As we went around the corner we turned into the ray a drop of golden sun part of the song 

  
I always wanted to live in a musical. Tonight was about as close as it’s going to get. My happiness moment with the kids. 

Home. This is what my happiness looks like.   

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Kid-knees and whoopee cushions 

Tonight we celebrated the February birthdays in the family – my nephew (today) and my sister (tomorrow). After having missed years of these family celebrations I am continuously thankful that we are here now to participate. Having this extended family around us is so incredibly important in helping guide us and give us that sense of grounding and support 

  
While the entire evening of the family gathering together was my happiness moment, I had a couple of events stick out as especially funny ones. 

The first happened as I was reading a book with my niece about the different parts of your body. We were on the heart page which she was convinced was the kidney. Once she realized it was not (after her mommy confirmed that for her, because she’s still at the age where mommy knows best) we continued searching until we found it. Once we were on the correct kidney page, my niece put her bent  leg up towards me, pointed and said see auntie Melissa? Here’s my kid-knee. Priceless

Next, I walked in the room to find my nephew (who turned two today) jumping up and down on the whoopie cushion yelling fart fart fart over and over. 

There’s nothing like kids to being unexpected and delightful laughter. What a blessing that we have all these cousins around to enjoy. 

In a sentimental moment, I heard my uncle playing with my nephew, and the noises my uncle was making were exactly the sounds my dad made. For a minute I stopped and my heart thought dad was here. But my uncle is like another dad to me – in fact we call uncle dad – and it was so fitting that the laughter and joy were coming from those two. 

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When opposite views come from the same thing 

This morning I had to stop everything and run out to the barn to look at the sunrise. 

We often get pretty beautiful ones, but today it was absolutely stunning 

 This is no filter and the sun really was shining that huge beam straight up into the sky.  
As I was standing there doing a happiness-gratitude dance, I received a text from my cousin who lives about a mile and a half away. 

Look at the lavender sky and the full moon!! She said. We couldn’t see the moon from where we were (and we were now getting late for school) but we did take in the beautiful colours over the mountains. 

She sent me a photo of the view from her window 

Breathtaking morning view of the moon and the mountains   
As I was driving home I was thinking how great it was that we had been sharing the morning beauty at the same time, and that she had thought to reach out to me to make sure I was enjoying it. I also appreciated how our opposite views – mine to the east and hers to the west were so incredible. They were completely different, and yet a product of the exact same morning light. 

What a great happiness moment. I just knew today would be a day filled with joy and blessings. 

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Family is family wherever you are 

One of the great gifts Dad left us with last spring was reuniting us with his family. There’s a great distance between Alberta and Ontario, and even though we now have email and FaceTime and texting, it’s still not the same as the in-person stuff.

A few days before Dad died my aunts and uncles (his sisters) came out to see him. He actually ended up passing away as they were getting on their planes and heading home. Just in case there was any doubt that it was important for him to see them – he hung on just long enough. They pretty much got home and  then turned around to come back for the funeral.

But, the benefit of those intense visits was that it bonded us together in a tighter way than we had ever been before. Through all the grief of losing a brother, husband, father, and grandfather, we found our way together into a closer unit. I know Dad would be so happy about that. Family was so incredibly important to him.

This afternoon we had my cousin’s daughter (Dad’s great niece – his sister’s granddaughter) and her boyfriend come out for a visit. I think the last time I saw her she was about 4, and she’s 21 now. It’s been a long time. Yet she called us up because she was out here and wanted to see us. Family – there is that special bond.

It’s so weird because we know all the same people yet we didn’t know each other at all. However, because of that bond it was so easy and comfortable. She is a lovely young lady (good job parents!) and it was such a delight to get to know her a little bit better. A great happiness moment.

We went out for a little drive. I love seeing home through other people’s eyes. One thing I really noticed about her is how excited she is about life. She has so much energy and joy about what she’s doing and was so engaged in what was going on around her. That’s a great way to live.

we had to stop to see the deer

I love this church

I may have ended up in jail…

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Early spring

Days like today are the reason why I find March to be such a challenging month. My body already thinks it should be spring, I’ve got friends posting photos of flowers popping up (ah to be on Vancouver Island), and it seems like things have been either white or brown for a very long time. Then we get this warmer weather (actually we’ve had a lot of warmer weather lately) and I start to get fooled into thinking it’s spring. I get all happy and believe that this will be the year that spring comes at a decent time in Alberta. Then, without warning, March arrives and the temperatures go down to -30C. But, ever the optimist I get sucked in every year believing that it’s going to be different.

Maybe it will be this year. I hope so….

I decided to play hooky from my work this afternoon and I grabbed the dog and headed out for a walk along the ridge. I always have lots of memories pop up on this walk. I remember galloping across the field on Pirate, walking with my dad, tobogganing down the hill, and swimming in the creek. It’s one of my favourite places to be. I had to stop part way through and just breathe in the beauty of home. I am so grateful that we are here. We are home, safe, and surrounded by loved ones.

My happiness moment. There’s no place like home. 

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Swan memories of Dad

I spent last night and most of today down for the count with a stomach virus. Not a lot of fun, but I’m grateful that I was able to rearrange life so I could take some time and get rid of it. This morning Jenna (who has the week off of school) came into my room, hopped under the covers of my bed, and snuggled up with me.

We talked about how when the kids were little and one of them was feeling sick they would pile in bed with me and we would cuddle until things were better again. There is nothing like a good snuggle with someone you love to make the rainbows come and brighten things up.

While we were lying there, my cousin texted me that the swans were back on the lake by their cabin. When I see swans I think of spring and of my Dad. He was always so excited to see them come – because it meant the end of winter and because it meant he could take some great photos. It’s hard to believe we are looking at another spring coming, which will mean he will have been gone for a year soon. What a year this has been!

I thought the girl snuggles were going to be my happiness moment, but the text about swans left me with Dad on my mind all day today. Jenna and I were driving into town so she could have a sleepover at her Grandma’s and she started talking about my Dad and some of her memories of him. It was a beautiful moment to share as she laughed about how he would flip her on her raft at the creek, and how he took her out for wildflower walks (my dad knew the names of all the flowers and very patiently spent years teaching us about them. Later on he began taking breathtaking photos of the flowers). Naturally I started to cry, but it was so wonderful to share those loving memories with my girl. I’m so glad she has these to hold in her heart. Dad loved his grandkids (and his whole family) so much, he worked really hard to make a lasting impression on us all – and succeeded.

These photos of the swans near our place are ones Dad took  3 and 4 years ago. He loved being out there with his camera!

  
The happiness moment today was sharing fond memories of my Dad. I miss him so much there is an ache in my heart, but I am so thankful for his presence in my life. Soon the swans will be here too and I will be out with the kids and my Mom watching them and thinking about our memories of my Dad.

And just in case I forgot how much I love being back home, God put on an amazing show this morning:

The view from our front yard this morning. 


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Afternoon skate 

Jenna was born trying to keep up with those around her. The moment she entered this world her eyes were wide open and she was eagerly taking in the sights around her.

Being a younger sibling, she has spent a lifetime running after the older kids.  I think she was probably born with a lot of stubbornness and sticktoitiveness, but she’s had more than her fair share of chances to enhance those traits. They’re just some of the things I really love about her. When she decides she’s going to do something nothing gets in the way of her accomplishing her goal.

I have to admit, I was kind of happy that my kids had always picked warm, indoor sports. I have friends who are hockey moms and I’m always reading updates about how they’re freezing at the rink. I have memories of my parents sitting in the freezing cold at various horse lessons and shows watching me ride. I was so happy we were doing sports like karate and swimming.

And then…a few weeks ago Jenna decided she wanted to skate. We found a beginner class and signed her up. She loves it, so I’m learning to love being a rink mom. Seeing her discover a new passion trumps even my desire to stay warm. I love that she’s discovered a new thing that she enjoys.

We went to the rink today thinking she had a class, but they are cancelled for the week. As we were walking by one of the rinks, Jenna looked in and saw a couple of her friends from school. She ran into the change room, got all ready and headed out to spend some time on the ice with her friends.

I was so glad that she has settled enough into her school that she now has this group of buddies. I love that she sees familiar faces when we are out now and that she is confident enough to go and join them in their activities. These girls were pretty confident skaters, so Jenna had to draw back on her years of running after her older brother and cousins to get the strength to head out there and keep up with them.

I was amazed at how much her skills improved even just in the space of this afternoon. I was humbled by her courage and determination as she managed to keep herself upright as she pushed herself to stay with her friends. I was thrilled that she kept on looking over at me to make sure I was watching her success. I love this kid so much, being her mother is an incredible honour and I am so thankful for her. What a great happiness moment.

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Family day in Alberta (2016)

I love that Family Day backed onto Valentine’s Day this year. It let us focus on the huge amount of love that we share in our family and community. This is the first Family Day we have celebrated since we moved away in 2005, and the last one before that Jenna was 1 month old – therefore the first one that my kids remember.

We actually took full advantage of it and spent the day with family, doing all the important things that must be done on days like this – like playing in ice-puddles

and playing hockey on a teeny strip of ice in the field. With a golf ball as the puck. It was not for the faint of heart.

My niece and I took on the two bigger girls. We had to cheat a lot just to stay in the game. But we declared as Team Claire (we share the middle name) that we had the magical power to change the rules. The big girls were having none of that, so it ended up mostly just being a silly, laughter filled, weirdly competitive, game of strange hockey. 

It was an afternoon filled with happiness moments as we shared company with some of the people we love most in the world. What a blessing that we are all able to come together like this again and enjoy life as a family.

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Tea for Two

I love it when I wake up and know in advance that I will have at least one happiness moment to be excited about in the day. Even though we have been back home for almost a year, I still have a small list of friends with whom I have not been able to have a really good sit down visit. Pathetic I know, but when you combine a really busy life with my being a socially awkward introvert, it’s amazing I ever get together with anyone. I am remembering now that I’m back around my tribe how very important it is for me to actually get out with friends and talk and laugh and share.

This afternoon I met with a dear old friend that I have not had a really good visit with in years – like since our kids were all in diapers. Since coming back I have run into her at the grocery store a couple of times which was a great way to have a quick catch up, but nothing like what sitting down over a cup of tea and sharing will do for the soul.

I’m so grateful for this friendship. We are unlikely friends in that we are different in so many ways. And yet, since the first time I met her we have had this strong bond that has drawn us together. Generally I have a really difficult time opening up with people, and she’s one of those very rare people with whom I know I can safely share absolutely anything.

We had a wonderful two hour tea (which turned out to be much too short), and we shared where our lives have gone over the past 10 years since we last visited. Had we shared back then where we thought we would be right now I don’t think either of us would have predicted the paths our lives have taken. It is such a gift to have someone that you can reflect on your journey with – someone who just listens without judgement and shares their own in the same manner.

We left our visit having decided that the time has come for our families to tighten our bond. Her husband is the godfather of my Jenna and they don’t know each other at all. But, now that we are living in the same town and travelling on similar life paths, all of that can be rebuilt.

There are so many gifts that are coming out of what seemed to be such an uncertain and scary time. It helps me so much to know that I have so many people now with whom I can share my journey with – in happiness and in sorrow. That support of the tribe makes the trip so much more enjoyable. A beautiful happiness moment shared over a cup of tea.

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