Tag Archives: alberta

happiness

A silhouette of hope

  
This photo that I took this morning seems to express how I am feeling right now. Some dark, some shadows, rays of light, and a beautiful horse. Because everything hopeful in my life should include a horse. 

I am in a period of great uncertainty where I am having to rely heavily on my faith and trust that every blind step I am taking is one that will lead to a happier life. 

Moments like this one with the horse give me great joy and happiness. I feel my soul calm and am able to breathe deeply and find strength to face the things that cause me fear. 

My happiness moment was this great moment of peace in the morning. It was enhanced by great moments of love and support given to me throughout the day. These came in many different forms:  words of encouragement, super duper help with child care and taxi servicing to lessons (from my awesome cousin), kind smiles, feelings of love, and the grounding of home. 

The warmth that I get from looking at this photo is one I know I will return to many times to find peace. 

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Urgent care 

I’m so grateful that we live where we do when one of us is in need of medical attention. It is such a refreshing change to go into the doctor, urgent care, or the hospital and have them ask what it is that brings you in today, or what is wrong, instead of what is your insurance.

Jacob hit the wall yesterday. Literally, hit the wall. He was running while playing indoor soccer in gym class and a kid pushed him as he was going by. Jacob flew into the wall bashing his left side and left leg against the concrete. When I picked him up he was sore, and it seemed to get worse as the night went on. When he woke up he was in considerable pain and I decided that he should be checked out (I was mostly concerned about internal damage or a cracked rib).

Off we went to Urgent Care in Cochrane. That place has been a godsend, we have been there a few times over the past year and every single time the staff has been incredibly kind and helpful. Because we were there early we were quickly brought in and given a room and had a nurse checking him out right away.

I was glad I took him in as they also were concerned about where his pain was. There was a resident doctor who came in and spent a lot of time moving him this way and that, asking him (him not me) questions, and generally checking him out. I was impressed that as she was poking him on his sides to see where it hurt, she was focusing on his face to watch for his pain reaction.

They did everything – urine test, drew blood, X-rays, and lots of manual examinations.

After a while the senior doctor came in and introduced herself (although she didn’t remember me I had met her on a previous visit and had been so impressed with her bedside manner. I was glad she was one of the people who were looking after us). She told us that it was the resident’s first day running the area and that she was mostly there to just keep an eye on things. Then she did a full examination of Jacob as well.

I was really impressed, because after her examination she brought the resident back in. She showed her a couple of tests she had done on Jacob – they were worried about his spleen and she had moved him a couple of different ways to see his reaction. Then she went over what the resident had done and told her what a great and thorough job she was doing. Good teachers are such a blessing and this lady is absolutely one of them. She seemed like the kind of person you could easily learn from, and leave an experience feeling smarter and better about yourself.

We ended up being sent in for an ultrasound just to rule out any issue with any internal organs. Fortunately it seems he’s just bruised and banged up and is in need of some extra TLC for the weekend (so he packed a bag and went to his Grandma’s house where he knew he would be spoiled rotten).

My happiness moment was realizing the blessing we have of having such a great medical team so close to where we live. It makes me feel so safe and secure knowing that there is this group of people who are really interested in making sure that we are well taken care of and brought back to our healthy state of being.

I’m so thankful for this place. I hope we don’t have to keep visiting it, but I’m glad it’s there!

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A walk on the track

This afternoon after school, Jenna and I headed to the gym to walk along the track. It was maybe nice enough to have walked outside (except for that wind), but the last chinook left everything so icy it’s not very enjoyable walking these days.

The entire ride there Jenna babbled happily about her gym class at school. They had been playing a game and Jenna had decided to find out how fast a runner she was. She was feeling quite accomplished and was busy telling me how she felt like the Road Runner (complete with beep beeps and moments when he would get so far ahead he would stop and check his nails).

It thrills me when I pick up the kids and they are happy after a day at school. Both of them are settling into their environments and no longer feeling like the new kid. They both tell me often how this feels like home in a way that no other place ever has (well, because it is home. Real home). 

My happiness moment was walking along the track with my girl and listening to her talk about how happy she is. She talks about her friends and things they play at school, about activities they do in class, and just how much she likes being here. I love having one on one time with each kid, it was extra nice to get to move around a bit while we shared some stories.

As a bonus happiness moment, right before hitting post on my blog I had a call from my aunt (dad’s sister). We had a long and lovely conversation. I mentioned to her that one bonus that came out 2015 was that it brought us back closer with Dad’s family. I love those people and I’m so glad to be building closer and stronger relationships with them. I imagine Dad is really happy about that too.

 

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Alberta Bound

I have a happiness playlist on my phone that I listen to almost constantly. The songs are many and varied, but for different reasons they all bring me happiness when I listen to them.

A year ago the song that was played over and over was Alberta Bound by Paul Brandt. By that time we have been away from home for over 10 years, Dad was so sick, and I was desperate to be back among my people. We had decided the fall of of 2014 that the kids and I would be able to return home June 2015, but I was filled with uncertainty about how that would happen and if it would happen before it was too late for Dad.

I was listening to the song again today and thinking of what I was doing a year ago right now, still living in Virginia, still so uncertain, and alone, and homesick. I played Alberta Bound continuously as I prayed that somehow we would safely return back to our tribe. I remember sitting on the floor of our kitchen repeating the words over and over

I’m Alberta Bound
This piece of heaven that I’ve found
Rocky Mountains and black fertile ground
Everything I need beneath that big blue sky
Doesn’t matter where I go
This place will always be my home
Yeah I’ve been Alberta Bound for all my life
And I’ll be Alberta Bound until I die

Somehow I figured if I repeated it often enough it would make it happen.

And then it did. Things got quickly worse with Dad and I knew that if we didn’t come back right away we would not make it in time. We packed our essentials, left the rest of the packing in the good care of my friend to supervise (and later my husband to ship) and we left. Alberta bound.

We made it in time to spend two and a half months with Dad before he died. I will be forever grateful for that time that strengthened our family for what was to come.

 Back home again. The barn built by my grandpa  
Now we live in the house that was built by my great-grandparents, beside the barn built by my grandpa ( I can see it when I look out the kitchen window. That is happiness). We have our tribe all around us, we are firmly grounded in our roots, and I can see horses in the field (you have no idea what that does for my soul). This place has always been my home and I am so thankful that we are back here. We need the love and the support of our family and friends, and we are so blessed to be blended back in with them again.

Today on my drive home from the morning school drop off I had to pull off a couple of times to admire the beauty of where I live. It was a gratitude filled happiness moment.

  Those amazing Rocky Mountains. I never get enough of them. 

  

Machinery in the hay valley by our house  
 

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The whole night through 

Last night I was feeling exhausted and I went to bed early. In my perfect life I’m asleep by 9, although the last little while it’s been a bit later. Last night though I was sound asleep by 8:00. I woke up at 5:00am completely unsure as to whether it was morning or not. I couldn’t believe it when I checked my clock. I usually have difficulty sleeping through the night.

 I have a great bedtime routine learned through Ayurveda, but I find that pain usually wakes me up once or twice and makes me move around a bit. As I’ve been making changes, letting go of stress and things that no longer serve me, I’ve been relaxing more and that pain is lessening. 

I slept the whole night through. I felt amazing and that early happiness moment set me up for the rest of the day. I am never sure where this path I’m on is heading, but I’m sure enjoying walking along it. I feel like finally I’m attracting all the love and joy I have been seeking. 

God gave me a good morning high five in the form of this lovely sunrise. This was the view from my front door. 

  

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And now she’s 11

  
A day filled with happiness moments. What a treasure she is. 

We celebrated her day with a huge fondue pig out at the Grizzly House in Banff and then home for Crave Cupcakes (those are addictive. Thank goodness for the mini sizes!)

A bonus happiness was being able to celebrate her with so many loved ones. 

This morning I posted a poem and some photos celebrating this beautiful ray of sunshine 

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Unbroken 

There have been events over the past few years that have almost broken me. I have had people whom I trusted smile to my face and then turn around and attempt to break me without a second thought. At the worst of the worst I was just-about-broken.

Then I had a realization that I still had some choices. I could stay as I was or I could start reaching for a better and happier life. It’s been a long haul and some unpleasant and really sad bumps on the road, but I’m a much better and stronger version of myself. I believe along this journey that my kids have become better and happier versions as well. We certainly laugh a lot more.

I had someone break a trust with me recently, nothing too serious, but someone whom I put my faith into lied to me and that left me hurt, mad, and upset. Fortunately it’s not someone that I have to have any further contact with and I can take this as a life lesson and move on.

What it has left me with though, is an appreciation for how wonderful those people who are in my inner circle, in my tribe, are. I am surrounded by people whom I can trust and depend on. I have people to laugh with, people to cry with, and people to share my life with.

In the shadow of this one unpleasant experience I have had many other beautiful ones shine though. I spent New Years Eve at a community party and visited with a lot of extended family that I haven’t really had a chance to see since we moved back home. I was amazed at how they went out of their way to include me, drawing me out of my shy, social awkwardness to share stories and laughter.

There certainly are a lot of wonderful, beautiful people in the world. I’m blessed to be surrounded by so many of them. I may have been just-about-broken but now what I am is unbroken.

My happiness moment was driving Jacob home from school today. We were laughing and he was sharing things that had happened during his day. We came around the corner on the road to be astounded by the sunset. I had to pull over to get a better look and Jacob said mom, I can’t believe we live here. It’s so beautiful. We are so lucky. And I totally agree.

Whenever I see the sunset or the sunrise I am reminded that there is a strong, loving force out there looking after us. Being here and looking at these mountains will make me happy for the rest of my life.


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Goodbye 2015

It certainly has been quite the year. I think I’ve learned more about myself this year than all the others combined. I’ve certainly grown more as a person. 

I’m so thankful that this year brought us back home and back into the fold of the family. Losing Dad left a big hole in my heart but it’s being filled with new laughter and love. 

My happiness moment is still ongoing. First our annual family sushi pig out and then a new treat – fireworks in the yard. I discovered an awesome place that sells them (who knew we could get fireworks here?) They were way beyond my expectations. 

It was kind like the year. Loud, confusing, amazing, a whole jumble of emotions.    
 
Now we are off to the community hall to celebrate the new year with some of the community. 

Happy new year. May 2016 bring you happiness and love 

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Skiing out the back door

I cam home this afternoon from running some errands in town to find ski tracks leading from the road right up to our back door.

I stood in the yard and spent  some time attempting to put together what happened from looking at the snow tracks. As far as I can tell, Jenna put on her cross-country skis inside our mudroom and skied right out from there to the road, joining her cousin. There were ski tracks from the cousin’s place down to the road where the two tracks met up.

The fields around the houses are filled with memories of family, both young and old, enjoying outdoor activities – skiing, sledding, walking, riding, walking, the list goes on… I am grateful that my kids are now a part of that memory footprint.

My happiness moment today – coming home to see the ski tracks leading right out from our back door.

 

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Tea and a birthday party

The day started off with a beautiful drive in the cold, bright morning air. I was glad I was inside my car. Somehow I thought it was about -5c but turns out it was more like -22c. That made it chilly, but oh so beautiful. There was something really peaceful about the time I spent on my morning errands.

The beauty of my morning drive.    
  
This afternoon we had one of those wonderful Christmas break moments where family stopped by for a visit. An aunt and uncle, and another uncle came by and we had tea and left over Christmas baking. Well, I passed on the baking (I may have overindulged already), but I sat and had a delightful cup of tea. I gave up caffeine about 4 years ago, and that has done wonders for my anxiety. But every once in a while I wistfully think of how delightful a nice cup of real tea would be.

Today I made a pot of Murchie’s 2000 blend and I just couldn’t resist, I love their tea. I drank my cup and it was so good! It made me feel happy right down to my toes. Even the caffeine didn’t seem to have much affect on me. Not that that means that I’m in a big rush to start drinking it again. I dedicated my life to pushing panic attacks to the side, and I’ve done a pretty good job of that. I’m in no rush to bring something in that could cause anxiety. But, that one cup was so good! A little happiness moment for myself.

We had a nice visit with the family. I often see my one uncle in the grocery store and we get a little chance to catch up, but to be able to sit down and really visit is an entirely different thing. It’s so nice to be here where there is family to visit with and share our time together.

Jenna and my niece have birthdays coming up very soon so we had our annual the girls are together birthday party and enjoyed a really nice family supper. Naturally followed by present opening and ice cream, because heck – it was a party. I feel so blessed that we can share in these family occasions and be relaxed about it. Usually this birthday celebration is accompanied by tears as we are packing suitcases and preparing to leave the next day. Not this year! I am so thankful that we are here and we don’t have to prepare to say goodbye to loved ones. It lightens the heart considerably.

The peaceful drive, the tea visits, and the girl birthday party. My happiness moments for the day.

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