I went out for a walk this evening that turned into a bonus happiness moment. I love where I live. Tonight I felt such peace and bliss as I walked my road with my dog. I feel more secure and stable with every step I make. We are walking into a fantastic new life.
A sure sign of spring. Calves in the yard. 
Cows on the hill
Geese flying into the sunset
This one is from last night but it was much the same tonight. God’s beauty reflected in our world.
This morning I had to stop everything and run out to the barn to look at the sunrise.
We often get pretty beautiful ones, but today it was absolutely stunning
This is no filter and the sun really was shining that huge beam straight up into the sky. 
As I was standing there doing a happiness-gratitude dance, I received a text from my cousin who lives about a mile and a half away.
Look at the lavender sky and the full moon!! She said. We couldn’t see the moon from where we were (and we were now getting late for school) but we did take in the beautiful colours over the mountains.
She sent me a photo of the view from her window
Breathtaking morning view of the moon and the mountains 
As I was driving home I was thinking how great it was that we had been sharing the morning beauty at the same time, and that she had thought to reach out to me to make sure I was enjoying it. I also appreciated how our opposite views – mine to the east and hers to the west were so incredible. They were completely different, and yet a product of the exact same morning light.
What a great happiness moment. I just knew today would be a day filled with joy and blessings.
Days like today are the reason why I find March to be such a challenging month. My body already thinks it should be spring, I’ve got friends posting photos of flowers popping up (ah to be on Vancouver Island), and it seems like things have been either white or brown for a very long time. Then we get this warmer weather (actually we’ve had a lot of warmer weather lately) and I start to get fooled into thinking it’s spring. I get all happy and believe that this will be the year that spring comes at a decent time in Alberta. Then, without warning, March arrives and the temperatures go down to -30C. But, ever the optimist I get sucked in every year believing that it’s going to be different.
Maybe it will be this year. I hope so….
I decided to play hooky from my work this afternoon and I grabbed the dog and headed out for a walk along the ridge. I always have lots of memories pop up on this walk. I remember galloping across the field on Pirate, walking with my dad, tobogganing down the hill, and swimming in the creek. It’s one of my favourite places to be. I had to stop part way through and just breathe in the beauty of home. I am so grateful that we are here. We are home, safe, and surrounded by loved ones.
My happiness moment. There’s no place like home. 
I spent last night and most of today down for the count with a stomach virus. Not a lot of fun, but I’m grateful that I was able to rearrange life so I could take some time and get rid of it. This morning Jenna (who has the week off of school) came into my room, hopped under the covers of my bed, and snuggled up with me.
We talked about how when the kids were little and one of them was feeling sick they would pile in bed with me and we would cuddle until things were better again. There is nothing like a good snuggle with someone you love to make the rainbows come and brighten things up.
While we were lying there, my cousin texted me that the swans were back on the lake by their cabin. When I see swans I think of spring and of my Dad. He was always so excited to see them come – because it meant the end of winter and because it meant he could take some great photos. It’s hard to believe we are looking at another spring coming, which will mean he will have been gone for a year soon. What a year this has been!
I thought the girl snuggles were going to be my happiness moment, but the text about swans left me with Dad on my mind all day today. Jenna and I were driving into town so she could have a sleepover at her Grandma’s and she started talking about my Dad and some of her memories of him. It was a beautiful moment to share as she laughed about how he would flip her on her raft at the creek, and how he took her out for wildflower walks (my dad knew the names of all the flowers and very patiently spent years teaching us about them. Later on he began taking breathtaking photos of the flowers). Naturally I started to cry, but it was so wonderful to share those loving memories with my girl. I’m so glad she has these to hold in her heart. Dad loved his grandkids (and his whole family) so much, he worked really hard to make a lasting impression on us all – and succeeded.
These photos of the swans near our place are ones Dad took 3 and 4 years ago. He loved being out there with his camera!
The happiness moment today was sharing fond memories of my Dad. I miss him so much there is an ache in my heart, but I am so thankful for his presence in my life. Soon the swans will be here too and I will be out with the kids and my Mom watching them and thinking about our memories of my Dad.
And just in case I forgot how much I love being back home, God put on an amazing show this morning:
The view from our front yard this morning.
Today for the first time in ages my sister and I shared a couple of child free hours together. I think for the last 14 + years every time we have been together one of the other of us has had a child pulling at our legs looking for attention. While they are our favourite human beings, it was awfully nice to get a chance to just sit and talk with my sister.
Without really planning it, we ended up back in our old ‘hood. Actually, I was treated to lunch at the building that was the McDonalds in our childhood neighbourhood. It’s amazing how that place has changed so much and still carried the same feeling of home. It was weird to feel so comfortable and at home in a place that actually was totally unfamiliar. It was even more so after a fire that went through part of the shopping centre at the end of last year. But, behind that was our old elementary school, and not to much farther down the street was our old home.
We didn’t really talk about anything important, but it wasn’t unimportant by any means either. All those small conversations about childhood memories, our own children, family life, friends, work, dreams, and hopes – they’re all the things that make up the big picture.
It was a wonderful happiness moment, just spending some quiet time alone with her. My sister is such a rare and wonderful person to have in my life. She’s someone who has known me since the beginning of our memories (well, I do remember a bit of life as the only child and therefore centre of the universe), someone who I can be totally and completely myself around, and someone whom I know will have my back always and no matter what. Those of us who have sisters that are also our friends are very lucky individuals indeed.
As a bonus happiness moment, Jenna and I were watching Masterchef Jr and they were doing a dish that best represented the head chefs (they were spicy, stinky, and wrinkly). I asked Jenna what she was and she said “sweet”, and then said Jacob was “bold”. I couldn’t have picked better dishes to describe those two. Actually they’re both sweet and bold, but as their mom I generally think they’re absolutely perfect specimens anyway (it’s the mom goggles).
Today was a much welcomed quiet day. The kids spent the day in their Jammie’s until it was time to tub and get into clean Jammie’s and go to bed. I only got out of mine because I had to drive to town and get groceries.
We got the house all cleaned up and are well rested and happily ready for a new week. That relaxed, content feeling is my happiness moment for the day.
Plus, if you’re in the Calgary area did you see the sunset tonight? It was amazeballs. No photo as I was driving, but it was absolutely breathtaking. Reason number 487 why I am endlessly grateful to be back home.
I have this spot in the middle of my back, between my shoulder blades, where all of my sad emotions live. You may know the area, it’s the back of my heart chakra – although it took me a little while to put that together.
The first time I noticed it was 9 years ago when my beloved childhood pony Pirate died. I was living in Quebec at the time so I wasn’t able to be with him in his last days, but he was in very loving care with family back here in Alberta. After he passed, my back seized up, I felt the elephant arrive and step hard on the middle of my back. I ended up being bedridden with pain for a few days – not a good thing as I had small children to care for.
Since then every time something really sad happens, or I’m under incredible amounts of stress that elephant comes back. During the worst of the dark night of the soul, it was there as a constant reminder of how unhappy I was. Over the past couple of years I’ve been able to rid myself of that elephant except in the most dire of cases.
The elephant came back after my Dad died, but that time it sat on my hip and pelvic area for a couple of days making it almost impossible for me to move around. At least that time I was kind of expecting the elephant’s visit. I was feeling and flowing my grief emotions, but they were so intense I knew that there would be some kind of acknowledgement from my body as to what I was feeling.
I wasn’t sure how Christmas and New Year’s would be this year without Dad. This season has always been such an important family time for us, and over the past 10 years it’s often been the only time we have been able to be home and visit with loved ones. Christmas actually ended up being a delightful day, filled with laughter and love. Thank goodness for those children who let their love shine so brightly and lighten up the dark clouds of grief. My elephant stayed away and I was feeling so grateful for that. I’ve been really focusing on feeling and allowing all the grief to come through and then letting it pass on out.
That old saying pride goeth before the fall definitely is true for me, as the day before New Years Eve I woke up feeling horrible with a sore throat and that elephant perched firmly in the middle of my back. I home remedied away my sore throat (apple cider vinegar works wonders, I also used raw honey and dried ginger) in short order, but I couldn’t shake that darn elephant. Usually he perches on my back for a good week before I can get rid of that trampled feeling so I was pretty upset – there was still a lot of Christmas vacation things that I wanted to enjoy.
That day Jenna and I ended up going to the Apple Store to have them fix her computer that I had fried (it’s like doing a bad home dye job – I only will do that once and from now get the professionals to do their job), and we spent some time walking around. An aromatherapy store called Escents finally has opened at Market Mall and we went in to check it out. I’ve been using DoTerra for years (and love them), but I’ve had some difficulty changing my account to a Canadian one, and with our low dollar here right now I’m not in a huge rush to have things shipped from the States anyway. The fact that Escents is Canadian is an added bonus.
I ended up purchasing their Rescue Relief Gel on the faint hope that it would offer some relief.
When we got home I announced I was going for a nap and had Jenna rub some of the Rescue gel on my back before I laid down. When I got up an hour later I was amazed that I felt about 60% better. I could move my shoulders and I could breathe without it hurting. She rubbed some more gel on, and by the time I went to bed that night I was almost back to my old self. I have never ever had something work so effectively.
I’m now using it on my lower back and hip area where I store all my stress and fear in huge balls of painful muscle knots to see what it can do there.
I was so pleased to find something that actually helped relieve that damn elephant. It was a good indicator that I still have a lot of grief emotions that I need to deal with and release, but at least I don’t have to have the intense physical pain while I’m doing that.
Jenna and I had to go out and get some last minute things. The first stop I made was at a store owned by a dear old friend of mine (not old as in age – since she’s younger than I am…. but I have known her since I was about 8). I not only got a nice visit with her, but as a bonus I got to chat with her mother whom I haven’t seen in probably 20 years.
When we were getting ready to leave I said ugh, this was the fun part of the shopping, next we have to go to Save On, then into Calgary to Bon Ton (the meat store), and Chapters. It’s going to be so crazy busy I’m not in a rush to have to do that at all. She reminded me to take deep, healing, loving breaths and go in with heart felt happiness. She assured me that it would make for a much more pleasurable shopping experience.
Going in with that advice in mind, we headed off to Save On. Even though it was busy, people seemed pretty happy. I ran into my uncle and we got to have a little pre-Christmas chat which was a nice bonus. We scored a line with only one other person in it and were back in our car way before I had figured we would be.
I dropped Jenna at her grandma’s and headed to Bon Ton which I knew would be insane. Sure enough the line was to the door, but having no other option (since they had our turkey), I took my place and waited. Within 5 minutes I was being served by a very cheerful lady who happily rang in my purchase and ran around the counter to hand me the heavy bird.
Hmmmm maybe there’s something to this heart felt shopping…
Last stop was Chapters which I was sure was going to be a gong show. The store was packed, but I managed to score a parking spot right at the front! When I went in there was a clerk standing right beside the area where I needed assistance and then he took me over to a different till and I paid without having to wait in the huge, long line at the regular till.
Amazing how when you go into something with an open and loving heart that is so often what you are met with. There I was on one of the busiest days of the year for shopping, and I consistently had fantastic experiences. My happiness moment today.
I have always loved being a Canadian, specifically an Albertan, but I love my entire country. I mean, it’s awesome. I may not always be able to describe exactly why it is the best place in the world to live, but I believe it to the bottom of my soul.
When I was trying to figure out what to become when I grow up in my 20s (not knowing that I would be in my 40s and still not know the answer to that question), I fell in love with Canadian History. I took every class I could until I ended up with my B.A. in the subject. It may not be extremely useful in my every day life (especially those 8 years I lived in the States), but I really enjoyed it. One of the best parts was that it gave me a much better understanding of what Canada is (or is not).
I spent some time today watching the documentary Being Canadian, where Robert Cohen took a trip across Canada to answer the question what does it mean to be Canadian? It seems that what he discovered is that it is almost impossible to explain exactly what it means to be Canadian. This identity of having a non-identity is something that is really difficult to explain to people who aren’t from Canada – something I learned during my time in the States.
I too bonded with other Canadians while living in the States for the sole reason that we were both Canadian. It was something that had to be mentioned, the same as there is always some kind of acknowledgement when I come across a fellow Lefty. A kind of relief in knowing that you’re not the only one floating around out there.
Also, the fact they had an entire segment about the Beachcombers was incredibly awesome.
I proudly kept my Canadian sorry in my vocabulary until after living in Southern Virginia, I finally gave it up. I was shocked to live in a place where when someone bumped into me and I said oh, sorry they would grunt at me that yes I should be, now get the *** out of my way. I’m happy to say that I have my sorry back now that I’m home again.
I watched the documentary (thrilled that since he’s also from Calgary he spent a little longer there, no offense Toronto, but I was glad that you weren’t the centre of the universe…. sorry) and it got me thinking about what it means for me to be Canadian.
I have strong Canadian roots on both sides of my family. Of course since we are all immigrants, that only goes so far… But, my Dad’s side has old standing in Ontario – I came home from my Canadian history class one day and told my Dad we were learning about the Northway store and he was like oh yeah, that was your great grandfather’s store. And my mom’s family was one of the first to settle out here in Alberta.
I have always identified very strongly and proudly as a Canadian and it thrills me to be back in my country and raising my kids in our Canadian culture (whatever that is).
So what does it mean to me to be Canadian? Well it means my prairie/foothills/mountain roots in Calgary. It means time on the ranch that was started by my great-grandparents and continues on now with my uncle, aunt, and cousins. It means horseback riding and freedom.
It means summers with family at the creek
It means going to the Canada Day Parade in Canmore and celebrating how awesome it is to be Canadian.
It means going to the Stampede (the kids here with my uncle when we were at the rodeo last year). 
It means going branding and being a part (a limited part since a lot of this cow stuff is totally out of my wheelhouse, but I love it) of learning what makes the ranch work. It’s important we know our heritage. 
It means tobogganing down the hill by the barn while the horses watch
It means having your kid throw snowballs at you while you’re unloading groceries from the car (not off the dogsled)
It means beautiful skies and unexpected snowstorms.
It means Santa Claus Parades in our hometown. It also means being closer to the North Pole and all of Santa’s goodies. 
Pure and simple, it means home. It is security, love, peacefulness, kindness, humour, and a place where I am truly blessed to live.
Ok, maybe that is just what it means to me to be Albertan. However, I think one of the best things I did was live in Quebec for 2 years. I actually think there should be an exchange program between our two provinces where everyone has to spend some time in each other’s provinces. I loved living in Quebec and some of my greatest friendships were made there.
My happiness moment today: watching something that made me sit down and think about how much I truly appreciate this wonderful place that I call home.
My poor Jennabean is still sick. She just keeps coughing and coughing and nothing I do seems to make it any better. We have been everywhere and seen everyone and the consensus seems to be the same yes, she’s sick, that cough is terrible, aside from that she’s healthy and there’s nothing to worry about. We have tried every medication we can think of and nothing is working, there’s nothing we can do besides wait it out.
Which leaves me feeling helpless and frustrated, and poor Jenna sore, tired, and sick. But, she’s such a good patient. All she can do is lie around and cough and cough. But, she stays so positive and doesn’t complain (at least not like I would).
My happiness moment today comes hidden inside my gratitude for the doctors at the Alberta Children’s Hospital. First of all, I’m so grateful that we are back in Alberta and I don’t have to shell out hundreds of dollars to take her to the doctor. We were able to see the regular doctor and a couple of specialists today while we were at the ACH and it was all covered by Alberta Health. That is a huge thing for me to be grateful for.
I’m grateful for the doctors and nurses who looked after her today. There were a few who really went the extra mile to try and make her as comfortable and happy as possible. It makes me happy to have such loving caregivers in our hospital.
I’m also grateful that even though she’s really uncomfortable and feeling crappy, that she’s not sick – like ill. She will somehow get rid of this cough and then she will go back to being my happy little Monkey. They were very thorough in making sure that there was nothing else more serious wrong with her. We just have to figure out how to kick this cough’s butt.
Any prayers, positive light, good vibes, or happy thoughts for my little bean are appreciated. She’s got a lot of love around her and I have faith that soon she will be back to her regular self.
