We are having a visit from my cousins ex wife and their daughter right now. I haven’t seen either of them in 20 years, the little baby girl I met is a grown woman, and my cousin in law is just about exactly as I remember. I am really enjoying visiting with both of them.
We did a little tour of the ranch including a stop in jail.
This is one of my favourite places, it’s so beautiful and peaceful there. And to share it with them was so much fun. Happiness!!!
One of my lifelong friends rolled into Alberta today and the kids and I got to join her and her family for some fondue and laughs at the Grizzly House in Banff.
I love and am so grateful for this friendship. We live a long ways apart, but when we get together it’s like no time has passed. I’ve been lucky enough to get to see her twice this year – once where she lives and today.
Good friendships carry me through the good and the hard times. They’re some of my most important relationships. And that is happiness
Some of you may recall that Drishti has been in bad boy boot camp. Today I went up to Carstairs and watched a pretty amazing cowboy from Guatemala work with young horses. It inspired me to try different tactics with my old horse with a young brain.
So tonight when I went out to work with him, instead of doing boot camp style and trying to work him out of the problem and overthinking every little step, I just took him out into the big field and rode him.
Guess what? No freak outs, no spooking, no separation anxiety, just a nice horse to ride. Go figure.
It’s this trust thing with him. He wasn’t trusting me, I wasn’t trusting him, and worst of all I wasn’t trusting me. I think this will be one of the greatest lessons I learn from him. That I must trust again.
This was a huge step in my own healing tonight. Walking with my fear but doing it anyway, trusting drishti, trusting myself. It was happiness.
This is not Drishti, but the man I watched riding this morning. This horse was only started 10 days ago. It’s a gift he has.
We spent the day celebrating Canada’s birthday.
First Canmore for the parade – this has become a really great family tradition
Then to my Aunt’s house for their annual Canada party. This is one of those sacred family visiting times.
After going home for a quick nap then it was off for the last family party
The boy stopped me and said how much he appreciated having all this family around and how great it was to have so many things to do.
And he’s right on. How lucky are we. What happiness.
Today was one of those perfect summer days. It was hot, and we had time to go to the creek – which is almost all I need for perfection. Add horse to recipe and it’s complete.
The girls could spend hours at this spot. We are so lucky that this is something we are able to do. I am grateful every day that I was born into this family, here at this spot. It’s just perfect.
As we were driving through the field towards home, the girls standing in the car, dancing out the sunroof, the song Saltwater Gospel came on. It was the perfect song to take us home.
As I began being serious about my spiritual journey a few years ago I realized that he God I was seeking I had always known on the back of a horse at the ranch. This was the place I used to go often when I was young with my pony. We spent hours tootling up and down this creek. And in that time I learned to connect to God. I didn’t know what I was doing – but that was it.
Bringing back those feelings reminds me of peace and love. And that is happiness. Being with the girls as they laugh and scream – more happiness.
Life is such a blessing.
I had a conversation with someone last night that triggered off an emotional shitstorm I wasn’t even a little bit prepared for.
In fact, it threw me into emotions I thought I had long ago dealt with. Pain, hurt, sorrow, and worst of all – inceteible anger with myself for ever having accepted staying in that situation and allowing it to continue.
I was taking with a healer and friend yesterday about how you heal and deal with something on one level and think it’s done. Then WHAM it hits you on another level out of the blue. It was like that conversation prepared me for the one I had that upset me last night.
And to be clear, the person I was talking to didn’t say anything wrong, had no intention of hurting me, or has any idea of the affect it had on me. It was completely innocent.
I was describing it to a girlfriend today, complaining that I couldn’t believe I wasn’t healed yet, and she said:
You have every right to have gaping wounds right alongside your steel armor
That’s it exactly. I’m so strong in so many ways and still have so much healing to do.
But I talked it out with her and another awesome girlfriend and I think that if I haven’t sorted it all out yet, at least I’ve been able to acknowledge the feelings. That’s happiness
In a pure and simple happiness moment I got to have a wonderful visit with my cousin who is home visiting. I treasure these moments – sometimes you have to maximize the little moments to fully appreciate them.
School is officially over for the year. I went out for DQ with the girl and some of her friends before they went to an end of school party. The boy and I had an Indiana Jones night – finally full relaxation mode can happen for these kids. They’ve worked hard this year.
I loved watching the girl laughing with her friends, I adore quiet time with my boy. This is how memories are made – this is happiness.
It may be 20 years too late but the boy and I finally sat down and watched Happy Gilmore today
Adam Sandler movies have become our “vacation thing” and while they’re cheesy it’s fun to laugh at a movie with him.
Quiet, simple happiness.
Summer that is. We had our first trip to the creek this afternoon. Nothing says summer like watching kids run into the freezing mountain water. This is one of my favourite activities and we were in one of our favourite spots.
It’s just happiness in its simplest form – it comes right from the depths of my soul. I am so thankful I am mom to these kids and that we get to do so many things together.
Drishti is being a total turd lately. So much so that he’s been put in bad boy boot camp – and he’s not a fan of this at all.
It’s interesting this work we are doing – I need to command his respect, and also his trust. So I have to make him listen to me, and also build a relationship with him based on trust and respect.
It’s a work in progress. Slowly but surely we are making progress.
He forces me to keep working at it when I get scared or frustrated and want to give up because I want to have this relationship. It helps me find the determination to keep moving forward – a good skill for the rest of my life.
Timely too as I’m feeling really overwhelmed. This whole financial black hole that Mr. X has thrown at us is exhausting. It’s made me remember that at the end of the day I have to learn to count on myself to look after the kids in every way – and that is overwhelming, scary, and t seems the next necessary step ahead.
Things keep changing and I’m grateful that I’m getting stronger so I can keep on walking. Drishti helps me figure out the steps – and that is happiness.
