Tag Archives: gratitude

happiness

The pirate and the ladybug 

After sharing a bit of my marriage story in yesterday’s blog, it got me thinking about some of the good memories I have of our time spent as travelling gypsies. And there were some good times. A lot of my time was spent alone with the kids in Virginia, but in Rhode Island and Quebec we made friends pretty quickly and had some great times and good laughs. I still hold many of those friendships made as some of my dearest. 

When we were living in Quebec and Jacob was about 4, we were at church one morning during ladybug season. This meant the inside of the church was alive with ladybugs. The kids were called to the front for the children’s sermon and during that time Jacob made a ladybug friend. He put her on his finger and proudly walked all the way to the back of the church where we were sitting, waving his finger with the ladybug on it as he went. The only problem was the ladybug was on his middle finger. So he essentially walked all the way through church flipping the bird to the entire congregation. Thank goodness they were a pretty easy going crowd and the saw the humour in it. 

I told the kids this story once again his afternoon and we all had a great laugh thinking of little Jacob flipping everyone off. 

Of course then Jenna wanted a story about her. So keeping in the ladybug theme I told them of our first Halloween in Rhode Island. 

Jacob dressed as a pirate and Jenna, who was only 2 at the time, went as a ladybug. I got her all dressed up and was putting the finishing touches on her while she stood on the bathroom counter. Suddenly she leapt off the counter projecting herself as far out in the air as she could. Fortunately I was standing right there and I reached out to grab her. Once I had her safely in my arms I asked her what she was doing. She responded with I’m a ladybug now, so I can fly. 

Stories like these are the reason I will be forever thankful that I was home with the kids for all these years. They have made some of the happiest moments of my life and they’re the moments that have bonded us together as a family. It’s not the big things, but these little,  everyday ones that make the memories you hold onto through life. My happiness moment, sharing fun stories with my monsters. 

  

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Skate with friends 

Even with this move home, it’s taken us a while to feel totally settled and grounded in our space. Things change a lot in 10 years – and for the kids that was almost all of their lives. 

Finally though they’re gathering a good group of friends, forming their tribe. These are the friendships they’ll be able to hold onto through the rest of their lives because they were made here,  in their home base. No more transient life for us. 

Jenna had a skating party to celebrate the end of her learning to skate class this afternoon. They were allowed to bring a friend, so she brought one of her school buddies. Their friendship has been deepening over the past few months and it brings me such joy to see them laughing and having fun together. 

  
My happiness moment today, watching them giggle their way around the ice. Seeing my kids express true joy brings me deep happiness. 

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Easter’s Boxing Day 

If you read my blog regularly or know me in real life, you’ll know that Boxing Day is my favourite day of the year. It’s the day after all the excitement and chaos of Christmas. The day when we can just sit around, eat leftovers, play with toys, and visit with each other. 

Today feels like the Boxing Day of Easter. After three days of family gatherings and meals, we are a smaller gathering today quietly hanging around the house. There’s nowhere to go and nothing to do besides visit and enjoy each other’s company. 

These small quiet moments are the ones that make some of the greatest memories in life. 

I’m lying here listening to Jacob and his uncle who are deeply involved in a conversation about Star Wars. People are flaked out in chairs and couches napping or visiting (I’m one of the couch people). This is what it means to be safely back home in the loving arms of the family. We have the security and comfort of being with people whom we love. 

More and more I’m feeling able to just have faith and trust that all will be looked after. I’m remembering that the kids and I are safe. I’m also realizing that I don’t have to live in fear and upset because of the disrespectful and pain-seeking choices of someone else. Every step I’m taking is in the direction of this new life which is filled with promises of love and hope and happiness. I just have to keep faith that I’m on the right path and remember that we will be ok because we are living honest, loving lives. 

The happiness moment today is flaked out family time. 

  

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The Easter table 

The house was full of family and laughter. We ate until it hurt and then ate some more. It was a great Easter. There is so much to rejoice in. 

It helps me put into perspective how small my issues are in comparison to the joy of being back here with the people who love us. Knowing that the kids and I are here, safe, loved, and where we can give love back – there’s something to be grateful for. 

Easter – remembering that Christ has risen. That we are loved and perfect children of God. My happiness moment. 

A beautiful, bright, ray of light shining on mom and Luke during church.    

Nana and her grandkids. Having cousins is awesome.


   Easter egg hunt 

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A colorful life 

It’s Easter weekend, and I’m so grateful that we are here with the ones we love. This has been a year full of so many emotions, but at the top of the list is the deep feeling of peace and love that I have now that we are safely back home. 

I find it difficult to even think back on how brutally lonely and isolated the kids and I were those last few years of our life on the road. We have so many people around us now, and life is so busy and full its hard to believe we were so quiet and empty not too long ago. 

Color comes in and brightens everything up. The color and richness of the lives we live now has warmed our souls and made us all such happier people. 

Today was Easter Egg decorating time. Jenna has been patiently waiting for days to get to this. We were a bit delayed due to my accidental, massive egg explosion (eggsplosion?) but finally we were good to go. 

The amount of planning these girls put into their egg decorating was amazing. I love that even though they are getting older, they are still so excited (eggcited?) to have some fun.   
 
After they were done decorating, I suggested they take the dye out and paint the snow. Thanks again to Mother Nature for her showing of second winter over the last 24 hours. 

They decided to color the snow fort they had spent the afternoon building.   

 
These two cousins are such great friends. What a blessing to have family close enough to play with on a regular basis. I will never take for granted the awesome relationships we have here with our tribe. 

It would have been my happiness moment anyway, but the girls dragged me out to show me their fort. They said they expected to read about this on the blog because it must be a happiness moment. 

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Here a swan, there a swan

Last night I declared that my intention was to focus on the swans and the beautiful things in my life. 

This morning I was instantly gratified with a surprise view of some swans hanging on a slough as we drove to town.  
This  afternoon, on our return from the city, we had another wonderful swan sighting. Jenna and I had to pull off the road and stand for a while to admire their beauty. 

 

The swans in the springtime always make me think of Dad. I still miss him so much, it baffles me that he’s been gone for 10 months already. It still feels so fresh. And yet, here we are heading into another spring. He would have loved standing there with us watching them. 

I thought the swans were going to be my happiness moment. But then my cousin showed up on my doorstep and invited Jenna and me to go riding with her on Saturday. Even just the thought of going riding is enough to make it my happiness moment for the day. 

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Morning pit stop 

Thankfully the universe listens to me, and after my meltdown of yesterday is helping me with my pick up. 

I wanted to focus on swans, the kids, the joys in my life. And the Universe is providing that. 

We stopped to take in the beauty of the swans on our drive into school this morning. It was followed by a lovely coffee date with my boy at Timmies. So many beautiful things in the world. I am grateful for them all. 

  

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Spring cleaning 

I have decided with the change of season that it is once again time to get rid of those things that no longer serve me. 

Even though I have made a lot of changes over the past few years, and have already done a lot of clearing, there’s still a lot of crap I’m holding onto that isn’t serving me well. So, it’s time for all of that to go. 

There’s a lot of thoughts I need to change. In so many ways my life is more hopeful, positive, and happy – and I want my thoughts to reflect that part of my life. That black poison has consumed more than its fair share of my thinking and I’m done with that. 

So all that fear and hate that he’s sent my way I’m sending back. All the fear and hate I’ve created within myself (and I’ve done a good job of that), I’m releasing into the universe. I don’t need it. I want to think about the swans, the laughter of the kids, smiles from friends, and all the other glorious things the world has to offer. 

There’s a lot of material junk I’ve got sitting in my house that is no longer of any use to me as well. Some of it isn’t even mine. I don’t need to be holding  onto things that I’m not using, or that don’t bring me joy and have sentimental value. They’re all getting stacked up to go. 

I went through my Facebook and contacts and got rid of people I have lost touch with or aren’t friends with anymore. The clutter of old acquaintances who I will likely never talk to again was really filling up space. I want my world full of people who bring brightness into my life. 

My happiness moment was stretching this morning in my yoga class. It was during this class that I realized that I have so much I need to let go of. It feels good to surrender some of that. 

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Skate time 

We are more settled into being home all the time. The kids tell me how they finally really feel like they have roots here and belong. It’s been years of living in limbo, never knowing where we were going to be long term, so it’s extra comforting to know we are home. 

Today Jenna skated. She loves this sport so I love going and supporting her. That’s what you do for the people you love, you support them. And I’m happy to do it. It brings me incredible joy to watch her gain confidence as she learns a new skill. 

My happiness moment today was sitting at the rink watching her smile as she skated around the rink. 

  

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Attracting it in 

I’ve realized lately that I’ve spent much time and focus over the last few years attracting safety, home, freedom and love into my life. Now that I have all of that (yay for the law of attraction), I realized I forgot to also attract money. 

Perhaps because I always had enough to be comfortable I wasn’t  actively working at attracting cold hard cash. And even now, thanks to my family  helping me through this rough patch we still have enough to be safe while we wait for Mr. X to be convinced to make support payments. 

I’ve been much more focused on attracting not just money but abundance into my life again. As a little nugget of proof that the law of attraction works, I found 20$ lying on the ground in town today. There’s a lot that I can do with that money. Like make sure that this isn’t the year Jenna has to find out that  the Easter bunny couldn’t make a stop for her. There’s huge gratitude for that. 

  
I don’t just want monetary wealth – that alone leaves one with only a very shallow and surface happiness. I want abundance and wealth on the inside as well. 

I was asked over the weekend what is it I like to do for fun? I felt myself stutter over the answer. As I was figuring out what to say, I realized that the reason I was having difficulty  was because I’m pretty close to living a life I don’t need a vacation from. 

What that means is that almost every aspect of my life involves me doing something that I like to do for fun. I thrive on parenting the kids, I love driving them to and from school, I am so grateful that I get to see my mom every day, I am grounded in this home in a way I haven’t been in years, I have awesome friends,  walking the dog brings me peace, I adore learning Ayurveda. What I like to do for fun is live my life. I get to do that every day. 

My happiness moment was driving home this afternoon laughing until it hurt as the kids cracked jokes. A darkness has lifted from our family and I’m enjoying the light shining back in. 

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