Tag Archives: gratitude

happiness

Tears in the wind 

For the first time in ages I took my Dotted Dog out for a walk along the ridge. It was still pretty windy, and a little muddy and icy, but it was certainly nice to get outside and spend some healing time in nature. It’s been a few months since I have done this particular walk and I forgot that as soon as I got to the spot where we had scattered some of Dad’s ashes I would have to stop and cry. It was blowing so hard that the wind took away my tears almost as soon as they were out of my eyes. I wonder how much longer it will be before those tears come without warning. Dad would have loved the walk along the ridge tonight.

I go on all the time about how happy I am that we are home and how much I love it here – but seriously… look at this place. I am grateful every moment of every day that God brought us back where we belong. We are home, we are safe, we are loved.

Today I met with an agency to discuss children who could participate with Celebrate Every Child. I had to give a little talk about myself and how it was that the idea, the dream, for this project came to be. It was pretty emotional as I had to put myself back where we were a year ago when we were in such a scary and uncertain place. I had just filed for divorce, our finances had been completely cut off, I was in the process of discovering so many painful things about the life I had been living. I had to go back even before that to the life we lived where there was so much pain and fear, so much hurt and sadness. And then I got to talk about how my tribe stepped in and helped me and my kids when we were at our bottom, when we had nothing. I got to talk about how the kids and I were now at the point where we wanted to pass on some of the blessings we had received.

They loved my idea of giving birthday parties to children who because of family circumstances would not get one, they agreed that every child deserves to be celebrated. I am one huge step closer to seeing this dream become a reality. This is such huge happiness I am at a loss for words to explain how grateful I feel. I think this is something that can make a big difference to children who really need some happiness in their lives.

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Honey cat

The girl and I have had a really nasty stomach bug for the last couple of days so things have been pretty quiet around here. 

Tonight though, our super chill cat Abu got on the counter (where she does not belong) and spilled over my pot of special honey which ended up all over the counter and all over Abu. 

So poor Abu had to tub, and poor Jenna had to do it. She sat in the bath giving sad little cries, but because she’s Abu she was not scratching or fighting. Her brother Aladdin got really upset and kept peering into the tub to see if she was ok. Even her arch rival Ella came to see what was going on (this may not have been an act of kindness, we aren’t sure). 


I am constantly amazed by the love that Abu and Aladdin have for each other, and the love they show us. They came into our lives at a time when we really needed them and they continue to be an incredible blessing. They are happiness. 

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On the court 

Tonight I got to watch the boy run up and down the basketball court. Being one of the younger and more inexperienced players he often spends a great deal of time on the bench. Tonight was different though and he was in for most of the game. 

They didn’t win, it wasn’t even close, but man did he ever enjoy playing. That was happiness – watching someone I love experience the bliss of doing something they love. 

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Girl talks 

I had a very pleasant unexpected afternoon out with my girl today. We had some errands to run in the city and while we were there discovered we were hangry and near Mercatos. We decided to have a little pre-birthday dinner (or for her a post-birthday dinner). 

I realized while we were sitting and chatting that we don’t do this kind of thing often enough. We get one on one time after school but it’s often rushed and filled with errands. 

To sit just the two of us at a table and enjoy a meal that I neither had to prepare nor clean up from has not happened in a long time. 

Without meaning to, our conversation got deep. She’s got a lot going on in that preteen soul and it was an honour to get to see a little of that. She’s a pretty amazing little human and has really learned a lot about people and relationships. I continue to be impressed by her. 

It was a delightful meal, there is a certain kind of happiness that you get when you break bread with someone you love. Deeper happiness was our conversation. I treasure that and I’m grateful that she trusts me enough to let me in. 

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Love is what you do 

Love is not what you say

Love is what you do. 

I have begun to understand the importance of these words over the last few years. I have had people in my life who would say one thing but do something completely opposite. In fact, I’ve probably done that myself. I’m sure we all have. 

But, as I began to heal and began to focus on becoming the best version of myself that I can be, I really began to notice that what makes a person is not what they say but what they do. 

It made me really focus on being impeccable with my word (from The Four Agreements), and made me want to be surrounded by people who were the same. I’m certainly not there all the time, but it’s something I put a lot of attention on. 

I’ve talked about this amazing healing community that is being built up around the kids and me. One of them is my massage therapist who does cranial sacral treatments on both me and the boy. It helps calm the nervous system, helps with PTSD, and with anxiety – as well as many other healing things. 

But the therapist, he has really connected with my son – he gets him, understands what he’s going through, and has really gone above and beyond to help him out on his healing journey. 

We can heal ourselves and can we heal each other. And we need a community to do that in. Listening to my boy talk about the healing that is happening and the support he’s feeling as he goes through it is a huge happiness moment. 

For me, the grounding of being home and with my tribe helps give me the strength to reach out and give support 

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Big Bang Theory

I had a tv marathon with the boy tonight. We are both starting to think we will survive this cold, but don’t feel well enough to really want to do stuff.  The (healthy) girl took off to her grandma’s to be spoiled and left us here to lie around and do nothing. 

It sounds lame, but it was fun. We caught up on Big Bang Theory and laughed. Perfect kind of happiness for a quiet, healing day. 

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Taking flight 

Today my little birthday project took a huge step towards being a reality. I have backing and support, I have ideas and tools to use to move ahead. It’s happening! I’m pretty excited. 

The thought of being able to share happiness with a child who needs it is really exciting – not only for me but for my kids too. 

By next month Celebrate Every Child should be throwing our first party!! That is huge happiness! 

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The bow and arrow. 

Today I got the girl signed up for an archery class. She’s been wanting to do this for a long time, and I think (hope) our schedule finally works so that she can. 

It may be a small happiness moment, but it’s also a bigger picture one as well. I hope she finds the thing that drives her passion. It may or may not be archery, but I’m glad she’s trying out new things. 

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At The Hub

I woke up feeling pretty under the weather. The cold virus hit our family over the weekend and the boy and I have been taking turns with fever chills – no fun to say the least. 

He only had to go to school for an hour today (a tutorial during exam week) and I had no choice but to hang in town until he was done. There’s an new coffee shop near his school and I finally tried it. I love it – I think it’s my new place. It’s got comfy chairs, nice soft music, and great smelling food.  I bought a tea and sat quietly and read while he did his thing at school. That’s happiness. 


When I picked him up I also ended up driving his friend home. After we had dropped him off, my boy told me how grateful he was that I was around for him, that he hears friends talk about how they never see their parents, and although I may be a smother sometimes that he’s happy I’m there for him. That’s happiness to the core of my being. 

Providing them with a safe, happy childhood is my number one priority and it makes me glad to know that they’re feeling that. 

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First win

Today the boy’s basketball team saw their first win which was a huge morale boost for them. It was a fun game because it was against another Cochrane school, and because the teams were pretty well matched. Both sides worked hard. 

Because he’s one of the younger and more inexperienced players he didn’t get to play, but he sure enjoyed being part of the energy as they felt more confident in their game. 

Somewhere along the way I have started caring about basketball. Who would have thought. It was my happiness moment being part of their happiness moment. 

A different moment of happiness was tonight at sunset. We get some amazing ones here sometimes and tonight was a great example. I love where we live. 

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