Today’s happiness moment was driving home from Calgary with the kids. We played “guess what song I’m thinking of” which lead to some bad singing and some good giggles.
Great way to end the weekend.
Tag Archives: home
The path of least resistance
Thanks to the incredible generosity of Jacob, Jenna and I have spent the day sniffling into kleenex and croaking through sore throats. The Great Cold of 2015 has officially swept through our house – hopefully to pass out just as quickly.The good thing is that we were all able to stop and rest and allow ourselves to get healthy again.
With this time on my hands today I’ve taken the opportunity (when not engaged in a Golden Girl’s marathon with Jenna) to observe how Aladdin functions in our house. His passiveness, or constantly choosing the path of least resistance is something I’ve noticed about him since the day he came to live with us. He came to us a couple of weeks after I’d gone and listened to a sermon by a cousin of mine on forgiveness. In this talk, she mentioned turning the other cheek and how it is possible to “win” a confrontation by being non-aggressive and non-confrontational. I understood the concept, but still had some difficulty imagining it working in real life.
Until I met Aladdin. He is a real life lesson in how this is possible and how it works not only for him, but for those who engage with him.
One of his first confrontations was with Dottie the Dotted Dog. She has been well-trained by Ella the Cat that one does not chase the cat. She knows not to chase the cats at my parents’ house, but she was taught by the other dogs here (and her willing spirit) that the barn cats are fair game. When Aladdin came downstairs for the first time he was greeted by a very excited and curious Dottie. Her ears perked up and she bolted over towards him with body language that said cat, cat, I’m going to chase the cat. Run cat, I’m coming for you! Instead of running, which would have been my natural reaction, he simply lay down and rolled on his back.
Dottie didn’t know what to do. She bounded up to him and he just lay there, paws waving in the air, belly exposed. She stood and stared at him, sniffed him, and then backed away with a confused look on her face. The one and only time she’s ever tried to chase him – he ended it by being a pacifist and choosing the path of least resistance.
What the heck?? 
Dottie does not understand this at all
He does this wherever he goes. If something startles him instead of growling or hissing or running, he stops where he is and lies down. He is not a coward at all. In fact I think he’s quite a trusting and brave (not so) little guy. Both he and Abu had a rough first year and lived in a lot of uncertainty and fear (I know how devastating those emotions can be on a soul). Instead of being a fraidy cat or being an angry cat he just keeps living his life. He’s social and wants to be around us, so he comes out and hangs with us and deals with whatever that situation throws at him. He has decided that he trusts us and so he does, completely and whole-heartedly. I admire that, it takes a great deal of strength to just keep on being who you are and not retaliating to difficult situations with anger and fear.
By watching him I am learning how to deal with situations without using fear, anger, or aggression. He knows how to diffuse a situation by seeming to submit when in reality that is the last thing he is doing. When Dottie approached him it appeared that he submitted to her by lying down and rolling over. What he really did was gain his power in a non-violent manner by diffusing a difficult and stressful situation in an unexpected way. It not only stopped her from chasing him, but in the process he gained her (an my) respect.
I got to spend a lot of time cuddling on the couch with him (and Ella, who has also decided that since he just cozies up to her purring that she may as well be friends with him), while Jenna cuddled with Abu and Dottie ran back and forth. It was a good sick day and we are both feeling a lot better for the fact that we could take the time to rest and get better.
Happiness moment was lying on the couch cuddled up with cats and kid watching Golden Girls. As always I am grateful for the time I spend with them and love that the kids want to share their journey with me.
Beacon Hill… discovered….
Tonight the kids and I were up in Royal Oak – a neighbourhood in NW Calgary. Back when Jacob was a little squirt – 12+ years ago – his dayhome was in this (then) new area. I worked in a town north of Calgary and knew all the back roads. Well, the city has changed. I know this, but sometimes it takes me driving somewhere to really understand how much it has changed.
We finished up in Royal Oak and were headed to Crowfoot (about 5-10 minutes away) and I missed the turn onto the main road. No problem – there’s the jail… there’s the dump… I know where I am. We will just follow this back road and we will get there.
Nope.
So, we ended up in an area called Beacon Hill. Never heard of it. Although it’s where the Costco is and I did know there was a Costco around. There’s tons of shops! Of course we got lost driving around the shopping centre and couldn’t get out for a while. Then a few more wrong turns and 20 minutes later we were in Crowfoot.
The entire time we were driving the kids were cracking jokes and laughing so hard they were hiccuping and snorting. Silly crazy happiness moment in the car today. I love those two.
Bonus happiness when we got home. Abu and Ella (the girl cats) were upstairs beating each other up. Aladdin (boy cat) was downstairs with me looking up at them. I could see the expression on his face and said it out to the kids “what do I do? What do I do? Girlfriend or sister, girlfriend or sister… whom do I save??”
From the tub, without missing a beat, comes Jenna’s voice. “Sister, you always pick the sister. Sisters are forever….”
Head in the clouds
I love it when a happiness moment happens first thing in the morning. Starting the day with smiles and laugher is a better boost than any cup of coffee ever could be.
We were driving down into the hay valley on our way to school when we noticed that there was a cloud lying in the middle of the field.
We all got excited, as every time we drive through a cloud we reach our arms out and try to grab it. We had low lying clouds that would rest on our mountain in Roanoke so it’s a past happiness memory.
The three of us unrolled our windows and held our hands out touching the cloud while we laughed at how silly we were. After we stuck our hands back inside we all tried to find bare skin on someone else to show them how incredibly cold our hands were. Which brought more laughter.
I love these drives back and forth from school. Many happiness moments happen while we cruise this beautiful country. It’s good to be home.
The middle of the road
Jacob has been home sick the past couple of days. Welcome to back to school time- suddenly we are around a lot more people, add in some personal stress on his part about starting a new school – and voila! Cold virus enters our house. I knew he was really sick today because he had to miss 3 blocks of phys ed, making it his absolute favourite day of the week.
Towards the end of the afternoon he seemed to perk up a bit and wanted to watch a movie with me. I pulled out one that I’d PVR’d a while ago just hoping someone would want to watch with me. An old classic (in my mind), Canadian Bacon. As someone who has lived in both the States and Canada I love the stereotypes in this movie. Add in John Candy, Alan Alda, and Dan Aykroyd, as the Canadian cast actors and it is just that much sweeter. I miss John Candy – he made me laugh. They all make me laugh.
It was awesome that Jacob also got a lot of the double entendres of the movie. He remembers living in Quebec and having the language police checking to make sure things were in both English and French. He knows how many people think that Toronto is the capital of Canada. Often when we are out in public I’ll turn to the kids and say “be normal… not normal for you, normal for everyone else”. He now knows that line comes from this movie. And oh my… the scenes in the RCMP detachment, I could watch them over and over.
My happiness moment today was sharing a movie that I love with him. In the 25+ years I’ve been watching it, I’ve never found anyone who would watch it with me. It was wonderful to have someone to laugh at it with. Someone who got it in many of the same ways I do.
Today as I was driving home from the morning school drop off I came across someone else who drives the same way I do on my road. This road I drive as fast as I can and right down the middle. I have to – the pot holes are so bad you have to know exactly where to drive to keep the car in one piece. I was flying in the middle going one way and a big white truck was booting it down the middle going the other way. As we moved to our own sides we waved, braked, and backed up so we were window to window. It was my cousin-in-law. We sat on the middle of the road having a morning chat, giving each other heck for being on “our road”and in the “middle of the road”. When we were done and had each pulled away, Jacob started laughing. He was looking in the rearview mirror and said “and here you guys go again, right down the middle of the road as fast as you can”.
It’s good to be home. 
Pie and ice cream
Tonight we had a dinner party at my mom’s house. It was the first gathering of laughter in the house since before Dad died. A much needed, long over due time for laughing and sharing.
That house has always been a great house for gathering friends and family. From the time I was a young child I remember people coming together in Grandma and Grandpa’s (now Mom and Dad’s) house for tea, for visits, for fun.
When we would have supper in recent years it was usually finished off with a bowl of ice cream. Never were my sister and I so lucky as kids to have ice cream for dessert on a regular basis, but somehow becoming grandparents turned my parents (my dad in particular) into an ice cream eating machine.
Part way through supper Dad would look at one of the kids, point his fork at them and while shaking it up and down say “someone better go set the ice cream out on the counter”. Always one, usually more, kids would jump up and run out to the garage and grab the many varieties of Mackay’s Ice Cream that lined the shelves.
We didn’t eat any ice cream at the dinner table this summer. It just didn’t feel right.
Tonight loving, dear friends of Mom and Dad cooked and brought out supper to share with us. They along with my cousin and her family, my mom, and my family joined around the supper table for some good food, some story sharing, some laughter, and some pie and ice cream. It was a supper that would have made Dad so happy. He would have loved to have been here to enjoy it with us, but I know he is happy that we joined together anyway and celebrated. My cousin-in-law took one for the team and sat in Dad’s seat at the table and he did so with class and finesse. It was fitting.
What an act of true friendship-kindness from this couple whom my parents love so much. It was so incredibly thoughtful and so timely of them to have a dinner at our place. The laughter and joy that belongs in that house was brought back and the mood was light and free from the sorrow of the past few months. Fitting too that it was shared with my cousin and family as they are an extra daughter, son, and grandkids to my parents and siblings to us all. More people who needed to share in the joy of the occasion. The happiness moment today.
Summer Lovin’
Summer in Alberta is my absolute favourite place to be. I consider myself fortunate that this is actually our second (almost) full summer in a row that we have been home, as the kids and I were back for most of the summer last year as well.
Today was beautiful and sunny and warm and a weekend so we were able to take advantage of it. This meant a dash to enjoy the last time in the creek for the year. Well, the kids went in – too cold for me.
When I think about things that make my soul dance with joy it is days like this.
The drive down to the creek. 
Is this what the dog days of summer are all about?
The drive home
Tonight as we were sitting and visiting I was thinking how nice it was to be surrounded by people who were genuinely happy. They were relaxed and happy in the moment for sure, but they also all had an inner glow (what in Ayurveda we would call ojas).
Spending time with people who are happy is a sure fire way to increase my own happiness. Like increases like. It made me want to be with more happy people and spread more joy and feelings of contentment.
What a great way to end off the summer season. My happiness moment.
Cat and mouse games.
With the unstructured life we lived in the summer, Ella the cat and I fell out of our routine of playing fetch in the morning. She also had stopped joining me in my morning yoga stretches
Ella being very uncooperative as I try and take her picture. 
Aladdin being posing for the camera. He didn’t want to be left out.
The last couple of days as the kids have finally settled into their school routines, Ella has decided it is time to revive our old game. Fortunately for her, Abu and Aladdin don’t seem to care about her precious mice at all. Although Aladdin is starting to show some interest only because Ella is so obsessed with them.
Playing fetch with Ella became part of our morning routine pretty much right after she adopted us last year. It is something I really enjoy- a good bonding time with her as well as a quiet mind time for me.
I realized today that being back in our routines is a good thing. Because of new school times, Jacob and I have an hour in the morning together. We go to Tim Horton’s and order the cheapest drink we can get and sit together and visit. It’s quickly becoming a favourite part of the day. A chance to have quiet one on one time with my teen.
Because we are eating at a better time we are cooking in a more structured manner. Tonight being Friday we had our traditional pizza night. It was wonderful all of us being in the kitchen together cooking the meal.
We are getting to bed earlier and are better rested. Again a bonus to the routine.
Before starting to study arurveda I was not as good about followijg a routine. Now that I am so used to following my Ayurvedic routine I find our whole household is a much happier and healthier place.
My happiness moment today was when Ella dropped her toy mouse on my yoga mat and sat and stared at me until I sat up and threw it for her. She knew it was time to pick up our old habits and structure ourselves again. Much as I like to claim to be a free spirit, our house needs a certain amount of structure in order to thrive.
Hiding in broad daylight
Tonight there was a welcome back BBQ at Jacob’s new school. I generally dislike having to go to functions by myself, so the Universe usually gifts with the opportunity to do this on a regular basis. Like it’s trying to pull me out of my introverted shell.
Over the years I have kind of got used to standing off by myself or making awkward small talk with strangers.
A good thing about being home now is that these uncomfortable social situations come around less often. I usually know at least one person when we go out somewhere in town. And at least when I don’t I have the comfort of being in my own turf.
My happiness moment of the day was that as soon as we arrived at the BBQ both kids saw friends and took off to be with them. It was heart warming to see how comfortable Jacob was already at his new school. Comfortable enough that he was one of the people who volunteered to set up for the event.
Jenna hanging out with me for a little while. 
I wandered off to the edge of the field part way through the party. Since having been ungrounded and on the move for so long it is so wonderful for us to be back where we belong.
This is the view from Jacob’s school. In between the power pole and the hill (and a bit farther back) is home. So whenever Jacob feels insecure or ungrounded he only has to look out the window of his school and see where the community of his people are. Lucky us.
People enjoying themselves. 
Sunflowers and rainbows
Starting the morning off the right way sets me up for the entire day. We had some bumps in the road this morning – couch surfing is difficult and even more so is getting used once again to the early morning *go* routine of school. I was running about in the kitchen at Mom’s while Jacob was getting ready to run back to our place to grab something he forgot when Mom came over and grabbed Jacob. They took off and after a few minutes he came running back telling me that Jenna and I needed to drop everything and run over there.
So, even though we were late, we did. On my way over my cousin texted me telling me to look outside. I read her text as I looked west and saw the most glorious rainbow doing a complete arc over the mountains.
From where I was standing, the rainbow ended directly into Mom’s sunflowers which somehow managed to survive the snow and the cold we have had the past few days.
God’s glory. Sunflowers reminding me of Dad.
An amazing happiness moment. We live in a beautiful place and I feel so blessed that I am able to breathe this in and let it flow through my soul. 
