Tag Archives: single mom

happiness

Transformational healing

One of my favourite healers is in town right now. My dear friend Asrael (also on the top of my list of favorite healers) introduced me to Michel a while ago and now every time he comes to town I’m first in line to see him.

He does transformational acupuncture and I don’t know how to properly explain it except it works miracles on me. I’m not even sure how I feel right now, it usually takes a few days or weeks to fully process all that goes on, but I can feel things have shifted. Things are shifting.

I need to stay focused on what is important. Mr. X and all the financial pressure he bullies us with has been weighing on my mind lately. I need to keep standing up for my kids, he needs to follow the court order, but it gets exhausting. He is not worth my effort, but my kids are so I have to find the balance there. I wish things were different, I wish it wasn’t so difficult, but this is how it is. Divorce from a narcissist. The gift that keeps on giving.

I need to keep sorting through those feelings, letting go as I can. I can’t wait until he’s just somebody that I used to know. And the more I work at releasing the pain of all those years, the closer I am to that happening. And that is happiness.

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Coco

My girl and I had a mother/daughter date night tonight and went and saw the movie Coco. It was fun and I really enjoyed some time with her.

Happiness comes from within, but I also find great joy and comfort in my tribe.

Please keep my mom in your thoughts and prayers. She’s one tough lady and her courage never ceases to amaze me, but we could all use some healing prayers.

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Compassionate healer

We have the best family doctor, we found her by chance and she’s not close to where we live, but I am so grateful she’s our doctor. She knows us all so well and is so caring and compassionate every time we go to see her. It makes us feel safe, cared for, and listened to.

The girl had to go see our doctor today and as usual it was such a positive experience. She expressed some teenage concerns and the doctor listened, not just listened but heard and was fully present in the moment. She made my girl feel important, cared for, and loved. That is a real gift. It’s happiness.

A bonus happiness moment is that we were feeling well enough today we could finally go visit mom again. It’s been a week since I got this cold/flu thing going on and I wasn’t able to go in and see her. Talk about an amazing lady with so much courage and strength.

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Today they curled

Today we went to small town Alberta and the kids participated in a very Canadian activity – they went curling. Somehow I have never curled before, but it sure looked like they were all having a lot of fun. Turns out this is an unexpected bonus of the kids joining 4H is they get to do cool things like this.

It was good to get out and laugh and have a little bit of fun. Happiness.

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The cat house

I woke up today and there was a cat sleeping outside everyone’s door. Apparently we have all been assigned cats and they guard us at night.

Aladdin is sitting close by me now waiting for bed. He won’t cuddle all day but at bed time o’clock he starts to come closer, and as soon as I go to bed he makes a nest between my feet and sleeps all night.

Therapy cats.

They sure have brought a lot of comfort and joy to this house

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Good sport

My boy got cut during basketball tryouts today. He was devastated but even as he was telling me (and I was sad and upset) he squared his shoulders and said but the coach asked me to be manager. I won’t play but I’ll still go to all the games and help out.

That boy. I am so proud of him. He took his sad situation and turned it around. He will make a great manager for the team.

Proud mama happiness moment.

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Keeping the faith

I woke up this morning pretty ticked off with God. There’s no nice way to say it, I wasn’t questioning His existence, but rather questioning why He seems to enjoy seeing how much I can take before I break.

Yesterday the boy told me how he felt that his generation hasn’t been raised in the church and he that blamed my generation for that. He said how grateful he was that I’d taken them to church and led them on a path to get to know God.

With that in mind I took my pity party to church this morning in hopes that the sermon would provide me some comfort. It didn’t. It probably annoyed me more than any sermon has in years. Fortunately it was a guest speaker, but I will be happy to not have to hear him again.

I left church still pretty pissy with God. As we came over the hill on our way home and looked out over the ranch and the mountains I stopped the car. I said this is how I know God exists and that he’s not a complete jerk. Look at how beautiful this is, only love could make something so amazing.

Figures since I’ve always found God at the ranch. But it’s not just the place, although it’s very spiritual for me, it’s the people – the tribe – who remind me that God exists in everything.

I stopped by my uncle and aunt’s place to pick up some food for my mom. Watching how my family loves and cares for each other – that’s God stuff, that’s God in the details, that is a reminder that we aren’t walking this journey alone. That is happiness

A photo my dad took of the mountains in the background of the ranch. This is my spiritual happy ground

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Look around

I have spent the last week really humbled by the amount of love and compassion I have seen in the people around me.

If you are able to stop and look around – really look into the souls of the people you walk by – are they living with love or living with fear? I’ve spent a lot of time recently with people who are in fearful situations and yet they are pouring love out of their souls. It is a beautiful thing and it is happiness.

And as an extra moment of happiness, I get to look into this face, these eyes, every single day. How blessed am I?

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