Tag Archives: alberta

happiness

Ride a moose 

Today was a just Jacob  day in the house. We hit the Watermill Bakery in Cochrane for some much needed bread products (mmmmm there is nothing like good, fresh bread), ran some errands, and then headed home for equally needed naps. I love that this kid appreciates his quiet time, mama gets tired.

After a quick shut eye we grabbed my mom and headed to Canmore for a big ole’ mountain hug. Well, and a trip to Nutters because I really wanted to find Spices Sanctuary products and check them out (specifically I wanted hing, it’s not as easy to find organic hing as you would maybe think). I found what I needed and a whole lot more. Even Jacob was excited because there was a giant wall of jellybeans over in the bulk section.

mountain hug
The best past though came later when we were looking in stores. We found this funny little moose, and Jacob decided to go out for a quick ride. I love that he’s free spirited enough to let go and have fun in the moment. We did a lot of laughing today.

ride a moose

My happiness moment was when he said you know mom, I’ve laughed more today with you than I have in a long time. This was fun. I’m so thankful that my teen actually likes spending time with me.

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Happiness mishmash 

I had several small happiness moments mixed all through the day today. I went into our Save On this morning to get something for supper and got bumped ahead in line because I only had a couple of items. When I thanked both the man who let me go and the clerk who suggested it, they said it was one of the perks of living in Cochrane – small town kindness.

Jenna went in to see the head seamstress in the family today to get some help (but also to eat cookies … mmmmm shortbread…. and visit). It warmed me to hear them, heads together, busily planning out her sewing project. There’s a special relationship between grandparents and grandkids and I’m so grateful that she is getting to strengthen that bond.

 

I have put a hard limit on internet at home and the kids have responded by actually playing together and having family time. We watched Charlie Brown’s Christmas, and then Jacob found his track set his aunt gave him a couple of years ago. They spent an hour racing their cars around the track.

About 30 seconds after I took this picture a huge tickle fight broke out with the dog jumping on top of both kid licking faces furiously. That was funny because it wasn’t happening to me…..

I love big happiness moments, but life really happens in these little moments. The ones that don’t cost anything, that aren’t planned out, that just happen because we are alive and we are living in the moment.

 

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Simple things 

Today my happiness was  found doing simple things. It was another beautiful day, I love these bright sunny days that have no wind. I went out for a walk along the ridge – so no wind was essential for an enjoyable time. This was where Dad would go for his walks whenever he could, and where we scattered some of his ashes. I can see why he loved it so much, it’s beautiful. I used to love riding along the creek below, so it had an extra boost of happiness as I remembered the freedom I felt spending hours wandering around with Pirate.

I stood at the spot where we scattered his ashes and cried for a while. I’m not really sure why. So much emotion has been stored up inside. Sadness over Dad, sadness over a lot of things I’ve had stuck inside of me for a long time that I’m finally learning to let go of. I’m starting to realize that I need to feel those feelings and acknowledge them in order to let them leave.  Then I had to giggle a little bit when I thought of how lucky I was that it was warm out. If it had been cold and windy all those tears would have stuck to my face, then I really would have had something to cry about.

I came back in the yard and went over to the hill where the girls were sledding. That brought lots of laughter back into my heart. There’s something about being around people who are really enjoying life that makes me feel the same way. The happiness overpowers the sad all the time.

As an added happiness moment, Jenna is still healthy and happy after her long cough. Saturday night she slept 15 hours and last night 14 hours. I am so grateful she had the time to slow down and spend time healing her body – and then time to get outside and enjoy life!

 

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Sun sledding 

Today was one of those perfect Alberta winter days. The temperature was above freezing (not by much, but enough to be warm – or hot when we were running around in snow gear), the sky was blue, our yard still had snow, and there were kids waiting to go outside and play.

Jenna has been waiting all year to get to play in the snow. She spent the entire month of November inside coughing and looking longingly outside at the snow falling.

The “little” cousins were down visiting for the weekend, and one “big” cousin was able to come over and play – along with some happy dogs. It was wonderful to see the yard fill up with happy footprints, snow angels, and snow drawings.

And, of course… the sledding. Sledding is kind of a big deal for us. Or better yet, going out on the toboggan… but that will come later in the winter. Today was about sledding down the small hills.

We had some visitors watching us while we went down the hill by the barn.

The girls did this hill over and over, laughing and giggling. I joined in one time and laughed the whole way down. I may have broken my bum (I don’t bounce like I used to…. and I did bounce a lot! I’ll be sore tomorrow), but it was worth it.

It was an afternoon full of happiness moments. Listening to children’s laughter, sledding, visiting, being outside enjoying the nice weather. We are so blessed to live where we do, back home with our tribe around us.

 

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Gratitude for the doctors, hidden happiness

My poor Jennabean is still sick. She just keeps coughing and coughing and nothing I do seems to make it any better. We have been everywhere and seen everyone and the consensus seems to be the same yes, she’s sick, that cough is terrible, aside from that she’s healthy and there’s nothing to worry about. We have tried every medication we can think of and nothing is working, there’s nothing we can do besides wait it out.

Which leaves me feeling helpless and frustrated, and poor Jenna sore, tired, and sick. But, she’s such a good patient. All she can do is lie around and cough and cough. But, she stays so positive and doesn’t complain (at least not like I would).

My happiness moment today comes hidden inside my gratitude for the doctors at the Alberta Children’s Hospital. First of all, I’m so grateful that we are back in Alberta and I don’t have to shell out hundreds of dollars to take her to the doctor. We were able to see the regular doctor and a couple of specialists today while we were at the ACH and it was all covered by Alberta Health. That is a huge thing for me to be grateful for.

I’m grateful for the doctors and nurses who looked after her today. There were a few who really went the extra mile to try and make her as comfortable and happy as possible. It makes me happy to have such loving caregivers in our hospital.

I’m also grateful that even though she’s really uncomfortable and feeling crappy, that she’s not sick – like ill. She will somehow get rid of this cough and then she will go back to being my happy little Monkey. They were very thorough in making sure that there was nothing else more serious wrong with her. We just have to figure out how to kick this cough’s butt.

Any prayers, positive light, good vibes, or happy thoughts for my little bean are appreciated. She’s got a lot of love around her and I have faith that soon she will be back to her regular self.

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Canadian stereotype 

We had a perfectly stereotypical Canadian day today, one that involved all the good things that come to mind when people think of Canadians.

It started this morning at Tim Hortons (as any good Canadian morning does) with a really nice gentleman holding the door for us. Actually, as Jacob and I were walking to the store, a SUV pulled up in front of us and as it slowed to a rolling stop a man jumped out of the vehicle, did a hop and a skip and a slip on the ice; and headed for Timmy’s. He reached the door and there was a lady behind him, and then Jacob and I behind her. He stood and held the door open for all of us, then Jacob held the second door open for him (proud mama moment, how great of him to return the kindness),  and then he insisted that we all go ahead of him.

As we were standing in line I joked with him about his fast exit from the car. He laughed and said that he probably shouldn’t do those while it was so icy out, but that life needed some adventure. He went on to say how much he loved winter, loved being outside, and had spent 22 hours since Wednesday shovelling snow.

I shuddered and said I wasn’t acclimated yet to the winter and wasn’t sure I was going to be. He said there were two important things that got him through the cold weather. He lifted up his leg, turned his jeans inside out and said fleece lined jeans, they’re the best invention. Then he went on to add although the very best way to keep warm outside is to get up, keep on your flannel pyjamas, and then just put your clothes on over top of them.

It was so nice to start the morning off talking to someone who was so happy. I love too how all of our happiness is different, how we each need to find it in our own way. Those things that made him so happy aren’t what would particularly get me all excited, but it certainly was his thing.

Tonight Jenna and I downloaded Jann Arden’s new Christmas album A Jann Arden Christmas. Her voice, it is so beautiful… it makes my soul happy.  I  saw her live when we lived in Montreal and it was probably the best concert I’ve ever been to. In this time where grounding and stability are playing such a huge role in our lives, it’s a huge bonus that she’s a local artist. Nice to have such great talent close by, a good reminder that we produce great things here.

To keep it fully Canadian, we also listened to a little of Anne Murray’s Christmas album. Her songs take me back to childhood and that is important this year especially. Dad was a big Anne Murray fan and I have lots of memories of us listening to her music together. I miss him, but he sure managed to leave us a lot of great things to remember him by. Anne Murray may be one of the bigger Canadian stereotypes, and that’s a good thing. There’s a lot of comfort in that which is familiar. Her music reminds me of childhood, laughter and fun.

My happiness moment today was the knowledge in my soul that we are here, we are home, we are safe. The good Canadian stereotypes are something I am proud of – the politeness, the thoughtfulness, that will take you a long way. Life is good.

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Happy birthday Dad 

Today would have been Dad’s 75th birthday. I haven’t been home to celebrate a birthday with him since he turned 64, and now that I’m here, he’s not. Sigh. Because we celebrated the last 10 birthdays with him over the phone or on Facetime, I wasn’t sure how acutely I would feel him missing here today – that is anymore than any other day. Sometimes my brain convinces my heart that he’s just gone on a trip for a while and I’ll be seeing him soon. Denial, it’s a difficult cloak of protection.

Turns out I miss him quite a lot.

Dad loved going for walks. He was always trying to get someone to go outside and do something with him – walking, skiing, swimming – he just wanted to be outside. Today I wanted to honour his memory by walking along the ridge by our house – one of his favourite places to be. It’s actually one of the spots where we scattered his ashes, and a place where I haven’t been strong enough to walk along since.

Today I knew I needed to walk there. To go to the place that Dad loved so much and where he found so much peace.

I stood at the spot where we had scattered his ashes. I cried for a long time. Thank goodness it’s a beautiful, warm November day or my tears would have frozen on my face and that would have made a sad situation an awkward one as well. I stood and cried and looked out at the view and just let all my emotions flow. It was both really hard and really easy. I had a lot of clarity come to me in those minutes I stood there thanking Dad for all that he had given to me.

Dad was always so good about making sure that I knew that he loved me no matter what. I never had to worry that I would ever do something that would make his love for me falter in any way. As I go through life and realize that so much of what is called love is conditional it gives me an even greater appreciation for this pure and true emotion of love. What a gift to have, what a gift to give.

I stood there and thanked God for the beautiful place we live in. Dad wanted to spend eternity in the spots he loved so deeply and being there brought me such peace and comfort.

the view along the ridge where we scattered the ashes

I walked for a while with my Dotted Dog and her Naughty Puppy Friend before getting a text from Jacob that he was on his way. He walked up and joined us and we walked the rest of the ridge together.

It was so calm and warm. It felt beautiful to have the sun shine its healing rays on us while we walked and laughed over memories of Dad. The kids miss him so deeply, he was such an important force in their lives. 

Last year at Christmas Dad and I walked the ridge and for some reason decided to stop and take our first ever (and what ended up being our only) selfie. It was the last walk I took with Dad, even though I didn’t know that at the time. We had such a deep, spiritual conversation – I’m so thankful we had the time for those kinds of moments.

omg it was so cold that day

Jacob and I stopped at the same place today and took our own selfie in memory of Dad. I think he would have really liked that we were out there together remembering him. 

After I was back home, I was sitting at the table with Jenna talking about Dad. She leaned over and petted my arm and said “I bet you really miss him today”. Then she said “If it makes you feel any better, while you were out on your walk I went up to my bedroom and sang him happy birthday” and then she burst into tears. So, we sat at the table and cried for a little while. Then we found a video that she and I had made last year on his birthday wishing him a happy day. We cried some more. We did manage to keep talking through our memories until we found some that made us feel better. There are lots of good memories.

I’m pretty lucky because I had a Dad who loved life and loved to pull us into it at full force. Even when I’m sure he wasn’t interested in what I was doing he was always there to listen to me and to talk about things or to watch me do things (the hours that man spent at the side of a riding ring watching me go round and round on my horse. Both my parents spent ages in the heat or (usually) the cold watching me ride).

I work hard at continuing to walk through my grief. I miss him like crazy, but I know he would want us to jump into life with everything we have, without fear. I don’t want to deaden my emotions, I want to feel them deeply and breathe through the tough ones. If I don’t feel the sad emotions, I also won’t feel the joyful emotions. I am on this happiness journey and Dad has been a big part of that. I find happiness in new experiences and I find happiness in memories. As proof of that, my happiness moment today included remembering all the love and fun times shared with Dad, and also experiencing fun times with Jacob (and those crazy dogs) on our walk. There is more tearful happiness to come tonight as my sister and her family join us for a family supper at home.

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The world is glittering 

Although I am more a warm weather person than a cold weather person, I love a quiet winter morning after a fresh snow. A close second to that is a crisp winter morning after Jack Frost has been out playing. 

My happiness moment today was my morning school commute. I’m always grateful that our drive is on my favorite road, this morning it was a stunning view with the trees covered in hoar frost. 

We had to pull over and breathe in the morning energy.  

 

I wanted to stop on the hill before home and take a photo. The whole field was lit up with glitter frost and the mountains were sharp and clear in the background. Unfortunately there was no place to pull off and I was being followed by a tanker truck, so I took a mental photo instead. 

The yard however made up for it. Sparkles everywhere while the sun shone happily down on us all.   

 
I am so grateful we live here surrounded by such beauty. It’s good for the soul. 

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Snowballs and laughter 

We had our first substantial snowfall this morning! Well, for me I wouldn’t use exclamation marks as I still have frostbite memories on my ears and cheeks, but the kids were so excited to see the white stuff coming down.

Jacob had the day off from school, so he was looking forward to getting out and playing in his winter wonderland.

I met him at my mom’s, where he tried to pull a fast one on me by hiding and pelting me with snowballs. I scored best mom of the day when I turned and casually threw one that went right in his face. As he was laughing I pelted him again – perfectly on the nose. Thank goodness i hadn’t packed my snowballs hard. He was all impressed with my aim, and I didn’t tell him I had been aiming for his stomach.

We had to go into town where we were surprised to find there was no snow at all on the ground. We laughed at how funny our car looked piled still in snow while it was clear everywhere else. We both got out of the car at the grocery store, turned and looked at each other, grabbed handfuls of snow off the car, and had an impromptu snowball fight in the parking lot.

A man was standing behind Jacob watching us and laughing. He wanted to know where we got all the snow from. As we walked into the store Jacob turned to me and said “well mom, I don’t know about you, but this was my happiness moment for today”. I love that he is also making sure he has a happiness moment each day.

I agreed with him, but inside I thought and my other happiness moment was getting you with that snowball….

However when we arrived home he got me back…

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I said “good day”

I keep learning about the spiritual importance of sunrises and logically I understand why watching one is good for the soul. However for me and where I live, it has always been about the sunset. There’s something about watching the light disappear behind the Rocky Mountains that captures my heart. No matter how the day has been, if I can stop and spend a few minutes watching the sun go down I know that all is right with my world. If ever I’m filled with doubt or questioning myself or my relationship with the Divine,  all I have to do is look at what God is shining at me and I know that I’m loved and I’m safe.

We had a perfectly quiet moment (a big deal on a Saturday night) and I got this shot of the mountains and the sky reflected on the slough.

  The view to the west. No wonder I am always drawn to the mountains. 

I know I’m creating my own happiness, but at times like these, I have a pretty clear reminder that I do in fact have some help and that I’m not alone in this. The Universe is shouting with joy, reminding us of the amazing world we live in. I had a happy day and this was like happiness icing. It just topped it off!

My happiness moment today was working with Jenna as we pulled the last of the carrots and the beets out of the garden while Mom visited with us. The garden is officially done for the year and I’m grateful for all it has brought to us, not only produce, but memories of Dad and of how things were. It also reminds me that things keep changing and growing and that’s something to be embraced as well.

I am sure Dad was enjoying the sunset along with us tonight.

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