Tag Archives: calgary

happiness

Celebrate again

I feel like after a few pretty crappy years we are ready to celebrate again – the big and small things in life. 

This afternoon the kids and I had a danceathon to Lady Gaga and The Black Eyed Peas – who sang the songs of Jenna’s childhood. We laughed and shared memories and remembered that even in those dark and often scary times there were some good ones too. We need to remember the good memories of their younger days. 

We went for supper – our traditional sushi pig out which was fantastic 


And then went to my aunt and uncle’s house for a New Years party with some of the tribe. 

We are a very talented and musical bunch ​

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Laughing, eating, singing, playing, followed by fireworks (my family has a healthy fire obsession)

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I am so blessed to have this tribe – I never take it for granted. What a wonderful way to be able to celebrate life and celebrate all the hope that a new year brings. Happiness plain and simple. 

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Rogue One

My Christmas present from a cousin and her family was an IMAX showing of Rogue One. These Star Wars movies have almost become an annual tradition and I love it!

Our boys have grown up on the movies and know every one by heart. The adults are all pretty big fans too so it makes it a really fun night. 

We have reached the point in our Christmas vacation where we no longer know what day it is or what we are supposed to be doing and it’s divine. In fact, it is happiness just getting well rested and relaxed. Add to that a family fun night at the movies and I have a pretty wonderful happiness moment for today. 

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A few of my favourite things 

We had another quiet day at home – it’s good for the girl’s concussion and good for the rest of us who are exhausted. 

I celebrated the end of a quiet day with a bit of The Sound of Music with my sister – one of the best Christmas traditions. 

Slowing down and enjoying family time is one of my favourite things about this time of the year. 

The boy and I are just sitting down to watch Austin Powers. Another favorite thing. 

Happiness. 

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The balance of life

Yesterday in the early hours of Christmas morning my godmother passed away. A blessing for her, but painful for those who remain here still holding love for her. Her husband passed away Christmas day almost 40 years ago, and while I’m sure God has some kind of reason for that, it’s difficult and painful for those left behind.

When I was a kid and watched Cinderella I was fascinated by the fairy godmother. To me, she was a totally believable character because aside from her lack of bippty boppity boo, my godmother was magical as well. To have this person in my life who thought I was amazing just because I was me was a pretty fantastic blessing. She was the kind of lady who would show up unexpectedly with pie at our house for tea, she had a grace and elegance that few can equal, and love and kindness in her heart that was a rare gift.

There’s something to losing a loved one on the day spent celebrating the birth of our Saviour that makes me really think about the balance of life and how things are constantly changing. Balance does not mean things stay the same in a comfortable state of consistency. Balance means that things are able to stay together even as life is shifting around us.

When I started seeking happiness almost 2 years ago I thought that I would reach a point where I would just be happy and that would naturally and easily be my default state. I for sure am a much happier person now, but it’s a matter of constantly shifting to balance the changes happening around and inside of me. In the 2 years since I started I have moved 2 thousand miles from Virginia to Alberta, I have lost my dad, I have discovered painful betrayals and begun a divorce, I have had heartbreaking struggles with my kids, I have lost three other (extended) family members. And yet, life is much happier. I know myself better, I am more at peace with who I am, I am more grateful and grounded. A lot of that is because I have fallen back in with my tribe, I have deepened my faith, and I am learning to believe in myself.

People talk about what a bad year 2016 was. For sure for me there was a massive shitstorm of emotion going on, but inside of that I have learned how to dig into the deepest parts of myself and really honour and appreciate who I am, regardless of how others see me. There have been massive losses both personally and globally, but I am so much stronger and more aware of how valuable my life is, how important my time is, and how amazing my tribe is.

My happiness moment… today that is easy. Boxing Day is my favourite day of the year. It was spent in PJs watching movies and then having a second Christmas feast. It was spent with my loved ones being quiet, reflecting, laughing, enjoying, loving.

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Christmas 2016


We had our happy Christmas. Finally. There were ups and downs, and the girl did too much and her headache came back, but even so it was a happy Christmas. 

Our family was together. That’s huge. We had a massive gathering of the tribe at the hall for supper – it has been years since we have all sat together and the family has grown in that time. 

We had a Star Wars morning which was hilarious and fun 

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But mostly we celebrated the birth of Christ. Together. As a tribe. With love and laughter and joy. 

We are so incredibly blessed to have the family we have, to live where we do, and to walk safely in the arms of our God. Happiness. 

Merry Christmas everyone. 

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Balance between bliss and pain

I feel like I’m being split between two completely different worlds right now. In one world we are beginning joyous Christmas celebrations. After a few years of crappy Christmases, we have been so looking forward to this year. There’s fresh snow, our family is around, we are having a huge gathering tomorrow to celebrate the birth of Christ. We are home, we are safe, we are loved. In this world there’s joy, happiness, bliss and gratitude.

In my other world, my beloved godmother is dying. Her husband died on Christmas when I was a child,  and now her daughter is loving and caring for her with strength I can’t even begin to fathom. How she gathers the courage to keep loving even knowing what is coming, and that it could happen again to her on Christmas Day, is inspiring and overwhelming. This world is filled with pain, sorrow, grief, and loss. Yet, also strangely in this world is this amazing feeling of gratitude that I have been invited to share so intimately in such a spiritual and personal process.

This is how real life is though isn’t it? Maybe not as big and as polar opposite as what I’m experiencing right now, but life isn’t all happy or all sad. It’s always a combination of both – and often lots of other emotions too.

The price you pay for loving someone is always pain. It takes courage to love because one way or another there is always a goodbye. But the price you pay for not loving at all is so much greater, I will always choose to love my people.

We celebrated Christmas Eve at the candlelight ceremony at church with my (ex? how does that work? They’re still family) mother in law and sister in law. That was a happiness moment, it’s one of my favourite parts of Christmas. The extremely hot firemen that came in after the alarm was pulled, well that was just a Christmas Happiness Bonus.

Merry Christmas Eve.

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Jingle bells

Today I took the boy and my niece into the mall for some last minute shopping. I wasn’t looking forward to it this close to Christmas, but I was pleasantly surprised. Got a fantastic parking spot (underground so we didn’t even need coats), and although the mall was packed everyone seemed happy. It was so nice to see so many smiling faces out in preparation for the Christmas season.

The three of us laughed so hard. I find it such an honour that they include me in their craziness – old and uncool as I am. They’re such great kids and I honestly truly enjoy their company.

Because Jacob always has to win the funny award, he did this at one of the stores (he’s got a poop emoji obsession):

On the way home we listened to Christmas Carols, and when Jingle Bells came on the three of us sang as loudly, badly, and happily as was humanly possible. A happiness moment.

It’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. I’m really looking forward to this one. The tribe together, so much love to share, a celebration of Christ’s birth.

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Apples to fondue 

When I was pregnant with Jacob 16 years ago we joined a birth and babies class through the Rockyview Hospital. There’s still a group of us who get together with our now 15 year olds every once and a while and it’s fantastic. Things have changed and our babies have grown, but it’s so cool to have that connection to when things began. 

Tonight we had fondue and game night with two of the families from our group. We ate so much and laughed so hard. It was awesome. The kids laughed at how old we are, and when the games were brought out and we all had to scramble for reading glasses we laughed at that too. 

I am so grateful that this group of people has stayed in my life. It’s happiness. 

Our babies 

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Perfectly imperfect

Over the weekend we were talking about the Christmas concert at church. Before they started the pastor made an announcement that things  could be a bit messy, joyfully messy – there were little kids, big kids, and with that anything could happen. 

There was a comment that he had to say such things because someone would be sure to call and complain that it wasn’t a traditional concert, that it wasn’t perfect. 

My cousin said something to the effect that people miss so much when they expect perfection, and hat when things are imperfect is when the real joy is to be found. 

Isn’t that the truth?

If we spend our lives seeking perfection, we miss out on the joy that is imperfectly there, right in front of us. Nothing we as humans do is ever going to be perfect. We will waste our entire time here chasing an impossible dream. 

This morning I had a text from a cousin telling me to make sure I looked at the moon. As the boy and I were driving down the road I pulled over and had to stop and look at it. It was probably the best morning moon I’ve ever seen. The camera does not do it justice. 


And somehow we went from that perfect moment of joy to a huge fight. We yelled at each other for the next few minutes (doesn’t matter what it was about, it was stupid) and then came over the next hill and had to stop and enjoy this gift from God


It was a perfectly imperfect morning. Perfect in the beauty God created for us, perfect in that we took the time to enjoy it. Imperfect in that we fought over stupid things. Perfect that we realized we were being stupid and missing a moment of joy. 

Remembering that it’s not only ok but a good thing to be perfectly imperfect. My moment of happiness. 

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Eddie the Eagle

Tonight the girl and I finally got around to watching Eddie the Eagle. I have wanted to see it since it came out in the theatres and I’ve been bugging the kids to watch it with me since it came on tv. 

Jenna loved it! She sat down with a pout, but within the first five minutes she was totally captivated. The idea of following your dream,  no matter what people say to you, really held her interest. She related to him all the way through the movie. 

Aside from loving his story, it brought back lots of good memories for me. I was in grade 12 when the Olympics were here and we were lucky enough to go to many of the events – including the ski jumping. So we watched Eddie the Eagle jump. 

My sister and I still laugh about how we drove our dad nuts. The stories were always funny, but now that dad is gone they are even more precious. The olumpics in Calgary are a really good time in my memory bank. 

My movie with my girl. Happiness. 

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