Tag Archives: alberta

happiness

Tiramisu in the afternoon

I met my cousin today for a spectacularly wonderful lunch at an Italian restaurant in town (for those of you close to Cochrane – it was The Boot). Life is busy, but we are both at a stage where we are very clearly understanding the power and importance of these close friendships, so we make time about once a month to get together for a visit. This was the first one in a while that didn’t seem like it was rushed (or had sick tag along kids involved) and we could really just sit and focus on catching up with each other.

This kind of relationship is special for many reasons. We have known each other our entire lives, we share and understand (as much as one can) our unique family, we have had a genuine friendship since we were babies, and we have both been through some (very different) shit over the past few years that has made us really sit back and reassess our lives. It’s so nice to be able to have a conversation with someone about anything in my life and not have to explain any back story because usually she already knows most of it.

We talked about everything  today – kids, cows, family, relationships, faith, food…

The food was amazing by the way. And the owner comes from the same small town in Italy that my aunt does which made it extra enjoyable.


We laughed, we rolled eyes, we shared stories, we enjoyed our food, we split an awesome tiramisu…. we really enjoyed the warmth and love that comes from a genuine friendship. My happiness moment.

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Sunshine on my shoulder 

I started the day off by accidentally sleeping in. That doesn’t happen very often so I knew I was tired. However, instead of then bolting out of bed and racing into the day, I noticed that there were beautiful red colours appearing in my east window. The next thing I knew I was standing barefoot in the yard admiring the fantastic sunrise 

This does not do it any justice 


The whole day was beautiful. It was like summer, so warm and bright. It helped cheer me up as both the girl and I spent the day with sniffly noses and feeling a bit sorry for ourselves. 

This evening I decided to force myself to go out for a walk and it was the best decision I could have made. My entire walk was filled with my heart telling my brain can you believe we are back here? Isn’t this the best place in the world? It was perfectly beautiful tonight. And the clouds were amazing 

And of course the mountains 
My gratitude happiness moment. I am so happy this is where our roots are planted. 

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That’s what it’s all about 

I spent a lot of time today thinking about my community – not just my tribe, but the community that we live in. When we moved back I was very mindful about the fact that I wanted to make Cochrane our hometown. It has always been a community I have felt part of, even though we have always lived on the outside of it. 

With that in mind, we started building relationships with the people in town – making new friends (reacquainting with old ones), getting to know the people who work in the shops we frequent – the grocery store, the cafes, the pet store – developing a church community (still a work in progress). Every time we go into town we see people we know. For the kids and I who were strangers and foreigners for years, that is a really big deal. It means we are home, we have a place where we belong – there’s a lot of security and joy that comes from that. 

Then we also have the blessing of our big and crazy tribe. People get added to it and it grows, but the sense of peace that comes from it stays the same. 

Jenna has developed a strong friendship with a delightful girl from her school. It has begun a friendship with her mother and I. I think those kinds of friendships are the best – where the whole family develops a bond. 

The two girls are in the yard playing Star Wars with bamboo sticks. My favourite view from my house is the one out the kitchen window towards the barn. Usually it’s because I love the barn, I love the animals that usually are out there, but mostly it’s because that view gives me the feeling of home. When I looked out and saw them playing there I realized how much this has become home for the kids too. Happiness moment extrordinaire. 

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Peace Day

It’s been a long and sometimes difficult journey towards peace. Almost everything about the way I lived my life had to change in order for that peace to return to begin to return. And because life is funny and ironic, all of those changes brought me back to my home – back to where things began. I’m a better, stronger version of who I was when I left, but eternally grateful that we are back home once again. 

There is a certain peace that I find here at the ranch, surrounded by my tribe, that I have never been able to find anywhere else. Finding the grounding and peace in the support of my environment allowed me to turn within and understand that my true peace really comes from inside my soul, from my relationship with God. 

Remembering today  that amidst the chaos and uncertainty I can choose sit in my own quiet and peace is a powerful happiness moment. 

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Flashlights in the yard 

This evening I grabbed my flashlight to head over to my mom’s. As I got into the yard (field I guess it is), I saw another flashlight bobbing through the darkness. We yelled and flashed our lights obnoxiously  at each other while we laughed. It was my nephew heading home after feeding Derek the calf. 

Oh Derek. He’s so cute


We stood in the driveway and somehow got on the topic of the hardships involved in being the oldest sibling (the oldest vs youngest has been a longstanding joke between me, my kids, and my nephew and niece). We both agreed that as the oldest ones we had issues that could never be properly appreciated by the youngests. Then we laughed knowing that all of us really have pretty charmed and blessed lives. It was a great happiness moment. I’m so thankful there is family so close by so those kind of impromptu visits can happen. 

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On a day like this 

On a day like this one I have extra gratitude for the fact that I write a happiness blog. I’m thankful that looking for a moment of happiness in each and every day has become a habit – something I have done faithfully every damn day for over a year and a half. Because on a day like this one it’s extra easy to get bogged down by what sometimes feels like never ending pain and heartache. I feel like surely there has been enough hurt and suffering for the three of us, why do we still find old wounds being ripped open? Will we ever heal or are we just broken?

Then something happens and we laugh. The pain is still there, but so is the happiness, the love, the faith, the gratitude. I am reminded that every day we are farther away from the source of those painful memories and closer to healing. 

Every morning as we drive over the hill by our house we are greeted with a stunning view of the foothills and the mountains. Every morning I say look at the mountains, look at how beautiful it is. Can you believe we live here? And the kids roll their eyes and pretend they’re tired of hearing it. But once in a while I forget to say it and then I hear one of them start up. That moment brings me happiness every day.

Today my happiness moment came in the form of snort inducing laughter from funnies made by the boy. Even with the clouds, he is a constant ray of sunshine in my life. 

Seriously though, the mountains…. Can you believe we live here? Thank God we are back home. 

 

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The cousin thing 

I know I talk about it all the time, but it is such a huge blessing to be back here at home surrounded by our tribe. After so many years spent feeling ungrounded and uncertain I will never, ever take for granted the love that comes from our people. 

Moving around so much it was a constant effort to make new friends and establish ourselves. Now when we go into town we always see people we know, we live in a yard filled with family, and see loved ones on the road every day. 

This morning I received a text from a cousin asking if we could meet for coffee after school drop off. We did, it was a really fun and very quick catch up. We are the same age and have 45 years of shared memories (well, she has a few months more…) which makes for a very real and special kind of friendship. 

This evening Jenna headed off on her bike with her cousin. They’re forming the same kind of bond that my sister and I have with our cousins and it warms my soul to see this happen. I’m so happy for both kids that they are living in an area surrounded by people who love them. A big happiness moment this evening watching those two take off laughing. 

I followed slowly on foot. It was a gorgeous evening. 

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Weeeeeeee

The kids and I were in the grocery store today after school when they began their typical song and dance bugging me for gelato. I kept saying no and Jacob responded with I’m just going to say weeeeeeeeeeeee in your ear until you say yes. 

This weeeeeeee that he does is in some weirdly pitched cartoon like voice that he knows drives me bananas. So he starts doing it and I get the giggles so badly I have to stop walking. It gets better when there is a softer weeeeeeeee heard from the direction of the bulk foods. Some teenage girl is answering his call. They weeeeeeeeee back and forth for quite some time while Jenna and I lean against the shelf laughing. It was a gut busting happiness moment. 

The evening was made complete  with a beautiful fall walk along the road I love so much. It is such a blessing that we are here, we are safe, we are in our tribe again. 

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Down the hill

This afternoon the kids took advantage of the beautiful weather and went down the hill to the creek for a swim. It’s the 13th of September which is significant for two reasons. First – it’s super late in the year to even be thinking about going in the creek. Second – it’s Internet appreciation day at our house. This means it’s the day of the month when our crappy internet rolls over and we can actually get online again. Last month we ran out of our horrifyingly low data 10 days into the month. 

I had expected the kids to want to soak up all the streaming they could so I was incredibly happy to see them outside enjoying Mother Nature instead. Hearing them giggle and seeing the smiles on their faces as they returned home from an afternoon of fun was my happiness moment today. 

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End of summer 2016

Tomorrow the kids go back to school. I am sad about that, I love having them home and I don’t feel like we did even half of the things we had planned. On the other hand, this summer feels like it’s been kind of an emotional shitstorm and I’m ready to move on from that. It wasn’t summer 2013 bad (which will forever be the bad summer that all bad summers will be measured against), but it wasn’t one of the better ones. Mother Nature played a big role in that with her rain, rain, rain – but it seemed to also be a season where we sorted out and let go of a lot of emotional baggage. That was exhausting. 

We celebrated our last day of freedom with a trip to Banff and fondue for supper. It was nice enough to sit outside to eat, which was a real treat. We all love those mountain hugs. They’re soul healing. We ate, laughed, and shared stories. I love those kiddos and my time with them is precious and always filled with gratitude. We are extremely close the three of us, and I give thanks for that bond every day. 

Chocolate fondue 
On the way home we saw a crazy, big cloud that kind of looked like a dog. I love the big Alberta skies and all our cool clouds 

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