happiness

healing from the concussion

It’s a long road for this poor girl and her concussion. I’ve been so impressed though at how well she seems to know what is best for her body, and how she’s honouring that. As the child who never wants to be left out of anything, and the one who is always trying to get us outside to play, it’s been interesting to watch how she is just wanting to rest. She seems very aware of what she needs and how to best look after herself. She has mentioned that she does not want to do anything that turns her brain on, and has been pretty content to just lie around in the dark or, lately as she’s been feeling a bit better, get up and draw or paint quietly.

My awesome massage therapist also does cranial sacral therapy, and he mentioned that often there was some success seen with healing concussions from this work. He shuffled things around for us and got Jenna an appointment today. She was a little anxious about going – she’s never even had a regular massage and didn’t know what to expect – but went because I kept telling her how awesome it was going to be.

It was awesome for her. She said it felt like it took a bunch of pressure and stress off of her brain. She’s been smiling and although quiet, much more like my regular Jenna than the quiet, pained girl of the past 10 days.

I am so grateful for the community of healers who have surrounded my family. The support and resources are amazing and it humbles me that we are blessed in this way. It brings gratitude and great happiness. Extra happiness as I am finally starting to have hope that my girl will be well enough to enjoy the Christmas season – her favourite time of the year.

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happiness

Jingle bells

Today I took the boy and my niece into the mall for some last minute shopping. I wasn’t looking forward to it this close to Christmas, but I was pleasantly surprised. Got a fantastic parking spot (underground so we didn’t even need coats), and although the mall was packed everyone seemed happy. It was so nice to see so many smiling faces out in preparation for the Christmas season.

The three of us laughed so hard. I find it such an honour that they include me in their craziness – old and uncool as I am. They’re such great kids and I honestly truly enjoy their company.

Because Jacob always has to win the funny award, he did this at one of the stores (he’s got a poop emoji obsession):

On the way home we listened to Christmas Carols, and when Jingle Bells came on the three of us sang as loudly, badly, and happily as was humanly possible. A happiness moment.

It’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas. I’m really looking forward to this one. The tribe together, so much love to share, a celebration of Christ’s birth.

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happiness

Home alone – again

The girl and I watched Home Alone tonight, kicking off our season of cult classic movies. It’s a fun part of the Christmas tradition. 

The last couple of Christmases have been a little more difficult (to say the least) and I am determined that this year will he awesome – even if we have concussions and banged up wrists! We are happier, safer, and although we will always miss my dad – it’s not quite as raw. 

It was fun to sit on the couch and giggle with her tonight. She’s one of my favourite people. This time is precious. It’s happiness. 

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Catch a glimpse of joy. 

Catch a glimpse of joy. That was the theme of the sermon in church today and also was the theme of my day. 

Our ladies group sponsored a family for Christmas. The mom came and picked up the items today and seemed filled with many emotions.  The lady who has been helping me with my own project gave me a little hug and said it’s like seeing what your dream is going to gift people isn’t it?  And it is, my little dream is different but hopefully will bring happiness to  lives in small ways. 

After that we shared some of our needs for prayer requests. Sharing is important – for the support and to remember that everyone has  their crap they’re dealing with. It’s a really special group of ladies I found at that church. God guided me well. 

The youth group did their Christmas celebration and it was full of glimpses  of joy. It was fun to see the kids so fully engaged and enjoying themselves. I sat with my uncle and aunt which was a moment of happiness in itself. 

And then the joy of the afternoon when we did our family Christmas tree hunt. It’s one of my favorite events of the year. This  year we had a good sized group and the weather kind of behaved itself. A million layers helped. 

I talk about it all the time, but I am so grateful for my tribe. I don’t know what I would ever do without them. It’s so heart warming to know that we come from this family filled with so much love. 

This is what happiness looks like:

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Kick off to Christmas 

We had our first Christmas party today. It was a big family one at my great aunt’s house (also in honor of her birthday). It was a house filled with family, laughter, and so many Christmas goodies. 

We had a talk on the way there about extended family, and how even if they don’t know you well they love you and want to know about you. It’s a concept my kids are still grasping, having spent almost all of their lives living away from any family. 

I think that point was driven home today though. I saw the boy really settle into a comfort zone as he sat and visited with some of the men in his family. He remembered that there is this big group of men in his extended tribe who really take an interest in him and want to get to know him.  And there’s just a different way that men bond, and I’m glad he gets to be a part of that. We have really good men in our family. 

I say it all the time because it’s true. I have an awesome tribe of people and I’m so thankful we were born into this. It’s happiness and joy and love. 

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Cochrane light up

Jenna and I made it for the tail end of Cochrane Light Up this evening. The timing was actually perfect as we had a few minutes to look around at the booths, stand by the fire, smell the hotdogs (but not eat… yuck), and go to Mackay’s to see the gingerbread houses, before it was time for the fireworks. 


Last year was kind of a difficult time. There was so many emotions floating around I had a hard time getting as Christmas happy as I’d like. 

But this year…

This year we are going to whoop it up. I love Christmas and we have so much happiness to celebrate. So much to be grateful for. 

Walking Main Street Cochrane with Jenna, the start of the Christmas season – happiness moment parfait. 

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Recharge

I’ve been noticing lately how incredibly tired I am. It’s like the long, drawn out tired that has been sitting inside my soul for years as I’ve struggled to get to this place – safe, happy, home. Now that I don’t have to struggle anymore I’ve discovered how completely exhausted I am. Those burdens aren’t as heavy, but I haven’t bounced back to where I was before either. I’m in a recharge process and I have to remember that.

Today was spent reorganizing the house a little bit. The season has changed, it was dark when we left for school this morning, the winter gear needed to be brought out. I’m thankful that I have the time to focus on building the safest, happiest home I can for my family. I’m grateful that I can be reminded of how to use my energy and how to recharge myself so I have enough to give.

It was a quiet happiness moment as I pulled out the winter things and hung them on the walls. I decided that come November 1 this year I am putting Christmas all over the house. We will celebrate the love and joy in this family! Plus, I have these really cool Yoda lights and I can’t wait to hang them.

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The last day…

Typically this weekend is a sad one. We are usually heading to the airport, crying, and saying goodbye to family. Sometimes we are lucky and a winter storm in Chicago or the East Coast cancels flights and we get to have an extra day or so. But, our hearts always know there is a sad goodbye coming.

This year we don’t have to go anywhere but down the road to our home. We have spent a lot of time this weekend talking about how nice it is to be here to stay and not have all that emotional upset of having to say goodbye to everyone.

I’ve been going over some blog posts from the beginning of this year and what really hits me is how brutally lonely we were back then. I am so grateful that we don’t have to be so alone anymore. Whatever other turmoil the past year brought us, I am thankful that we are back home.

We took the kids out for one last run on the sleds before we are back to the grind tomorrow. I think they had fun….


Hearing the laughter as they flew past me howling in joy was my happiness moment for the day. What a great start to the year. I have felt very held in love by those around us these past few days. It’s so easy to get caught up in negative thoughts, it has been very good to remember that there are loving, kind, fun people to share laughter and life with.

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Tea and a birthday party

The day started off with a beautiful drive in the cold, bright morning air. I was glad I was inside my car. Somehow I thought it was about -5c but turns out it was more like -22c. That made it chilly, but oh so beautiful. There was something really peaceful about the time I spent on my morning errands.

The beauty of my morning drive.    
  
This afternoon we had one of those wonderful Christmas break moments where family stopped by for a visit. An aunt and uncle, and another uncle came by and we had tea and left over Christmas baking. Well, I passed on the baking (I may have overindulged already), but I sat and had a delightful cup of tea. I gave up caffeine about 4 years ago, and that has done wonders for my anxiety. But every once in a while I wistfully think of how delightful a nice cup of real tea would be.

Today I made a pot of Murchie’s 2000 blend and I just couldn’t resist, I love their tea. I drank my cup and it was so good! It made me feel happy right down to my toes. Even the caffeine didn’t seem to have much affect on me. Not that that means that I’m in a big rush to start drinking it again. I dedicated my life to pushing panic attacks to the side, and I’ve done a pretty good job of that. I’m in no rush to bring something in that could cause anxiety. But, that one cup was so good! A little happiness moment for myself.

We had a nice visit with the family. I often see my one uncle in the grocery store and we get a little chance to catch up, but to be able to sit down and really visit is an entirely different thing. It’s so nice to be here where there is family to visit with and share our time together.

Jenna and my niece have birthdays coming up very soon so we had our annual the girls are together birthday party and enjoyed a really nice family supper. Naturally followed by present opening and ice cream, because heck – it was a party. I feel so blessed that we can share in these family occasions and be relaxed about it. Usually this birthday celebration is accompanied by tears as we are packing suitcases and preparing to leave the next day. Not this year! I am so thankful that we are here and we don’t have to prepare to say goodbye to loved ones. It lightens the heart considerably.

The peaceful drive, the tea visits, and the girl birthday party. My happiness moments for the day.

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The best day of the year 

Boxing Day has been my favourite day of the year for ages. I love having that day after Christmas to hang out, play with new toys, eat leftovers from the feast, and to get outside and have some fun. 

It was -27C  when the day began began, thank goodness it warmed up a bit as the day went on. 

Ever since Jenna started taking guitar lessons this past fall she has wanted to go play for her auntie Carolyn who is an amazing musician. Today she got her wish and we took her guitar over for a jamming session. 

  
Watching her as she stayed so composed and unflustered really impressed me. That Deck the Halls can be tricky, but she calmly played her way through it. 

I had a moment of supreme happiness and joy in a short conversation with my cousin in law whom I feel like I’ve known my entire life and is one of my close tribe members. 

Then later on a happiness moment sledding with my sister who is also in that tribe. 

  
Somehow I missed Dad more today than I thought I would. My mom and sister felt the same way, so perhaps it was because we felt his presence so strongly yesterday. It seems surreal he’s not here, and yet that’s what is. I’m sure he loves that we are all out having fun and enjoying the season he loved this day too. 

The best day of the year. 

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