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happiness

healing from the concussion

It’s a long road for this poor girl and her concussion. I’ve been so impressed though at how well she seems to know what is best for her body, and how she’s honouring that. As the child who never wants to be left out of anything, and the one who is always trying to get us outside to play, it’s been interesting to watch how she is just wanting to rest. She seems very aware of what she needs and how to best look after herself. She has mentioned that she does not want to do anything that turns her brain on, and has been pretty content to just lie around in the dark or, lately as she’s been feeling a bit better, get up and draw or paint quietly.

My awesome massage therapist also does cranial sacral therapy, and he mentioned that often there was some success seen with healing concussions from this work. He shuffled things around for us and got Jenna an appointment today. She was a little anxious about going – she’s never even had a regular massage and didn’t know what to expect – but went because I kept telling her how awesome it was going to be.

It was awesome for her. She said it felt like it took a bunch of pressure and stress off of her brain. She’s been smiling and although quiet, much more like my regular Jenna than the quiet, pained girl of the past 10 days.

I am so grateful for the community of healers who have surrounded my family. The support and resources are amazing and it humbles me that we are blessed in this way. It brings gratitude and great happiness. Extra happiness as I am finally starting to have hope that my girl will be well enough to enjoy the Christmas season – her favourite time of the year.

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Nighttime Daytime

Our latest obsession is BBC Animals. It makes us laugh as hard as the Frantics and this kid talking about his potty problems. One of the favourites is Nighttime Daytime

 

Poor Jenna has been dealing with a concussion for over a week now. It has made her hide in the dark in her room and she refers to herself as a bat. We make jokes about it, but it’s been quite serious and kinda scary. She’s been in and out of urgent care a couple of times and really has lost much of the glorious glow that makes her Jenna.

Today I had to take her back into Urgent Care to get checked out – she was having bad head pain and was dizzy and feeling sick to her stomach. They put her in a curtained off room and there she sat in the dark with her sunglasses on feeling sad about herself.

Then she looked at me and said “it’s like I’m playing nighttime daytime, but I’m nighttime, darker nighttime”.

So I got up and stood in the entrance to her room at the edge of the curtain and bounced back and forth between nighttime and daytime to make her laugh. And she did – more than she has in over a week. It was so good to hear that sound.

Sharing happiness, finding happiness in any situation. It’s important. It’s a happiness moment.

Also, all the love and prayers that have been sent to her and us, they are so appreciated and that is also a happiness moment. Thank you all!!!!

 

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Nothing to do

The boy and I spent almost 7 hours in Urgent Care today dealing with his wrist (end result was a cast being put on). 

We had our phones and I had my kindle, but after a couple of hours the batteries died on the phones and since he was bored, reading became impossible for me. 

So, we did the unthinkable in 2016 and we sat and talked. For hours. About things, and about nothing. 

It was wild. Hours of time with my teen. And although he complained about the wait, I don’t think he hated it. 

I think we have forgotten how to just be with each other. There’s always some distraction these days. To take all the distractions away and just spend time with a loved one – that’s a moment of happiness. Try it. 

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happiness

Perfectly imperfect

Over the weekend we were talking about the Christmas concert at church. Before they started the pastor made an announcement that things  could be a bit messy, joyfully messy – there were little kids, big kids, and with that anything could happen. 

There was a comment that he had to say such things because someone would be sure to call and complain that it wasn’t a traditional concert, that it wasn’t perfect. 

My cousin said something to the effect that people miss so much when they expect perfection, and hat when things are imperfect is when the real joy is to be found. 

Isn’t that the truth?

If we spend our lives seeking perfection, we miss out on the joy that is imperfectly there, right in front of us. Nothing we as humans do is ever going to be perfect. We will waste our entire time here chasing an impossible dream. 

This morning I had a text from a cousin telling me to make sure I looked at the moon. As the boy and I were driving down the road I pulled over and had to stop and look at it. It was probably the best morning moon I’ve ever seen. The camera does not do it justice. 


And somehow we went from that perfect moment of joy to a huge fight. We yelled at each other for the next few minutes (doesn’t matter what it was about, it was stupid) and then came over the next hill and had to stop and enjoy this gift from God


It was a perfectly imperfect morning. Perfect in the beauty God created for us, perfect in that we took the time to enjoy it. Imperfect in that we fought over stupid things. Perfect that we realized we were being stupid and missing a moment of joy. 

Remembering that it’s not only ok but a good thing to be perfectly imperfect. My moment of happiness. 

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Catch a glimpse of joy. 

Catch a glimpse of joy. That was the theme of the sermon in church today and also was the theme of my day. 

Our ladies group sponsored a family for Christmas. The mom came and picked up the items today and seemed filled with many emotions.  The lady who has been helping me with my own project gave me a little hug and said it’s like seeing what your dream is going to gift people isn’t it?  And it is, my little dream is different but hopefully will bring happiness to  lives in small ways. 

After that we shared some of our needs for prayer requests. Sharing is important – for the support and to remember that everyone has  their crap they’re dealing with. It’s a really special group of ladies I found at that church. God guided me well. 

The youth group did their Christmas celebration and it was full of glimpses  of joy. It was fun to see the kids so fully engaged and enjoying themselves. I sat with my uncle and aunt which was a moment of happiness in itself. 

And then the joy of the afternoon when we did our family Christmas tree hunt. It’s one of my favorite events of the year. This  year we had a good sized group and the weather kind of behaved itself. A million layers helped. 

I talk about it all the time, but I am so grateful for my tribe. I don’t know what I would ever do without them. It’s so heart warming to know that we come from this family filled with so much love. 

This is what happiness looks like:

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Kick off to Christmas 

We had our first Christmas party today. It was a big family one at my great aunt’s house (also in honor of her birthday). It was a house filled with family, laughter, and so many Christmas goodies. 

We had a talk on the way there about extended family, and how even if they don’t know you well they love you and want to know about you. It’s a concept my kids are still grasping, having spent almost all of their lives living away from any family. 

I think that point was driven home today though. I saw the boy really settle into a comfort zone as he sat and visited with some of the men in his family. He remembered that there is this big group of men in his extended tribe who really take an interest in him and want to get to know him.  And there’s just a different way that men bond, and I’m glad he gets to be a part of that. We have really good men in our family. 

I say it all the time because it’s true. I have an awesome tribe of people and I’m so thankful we were born into this. It’s happiness and joy and love. 

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Integration 

I had some work done today that kind of brought together all the energy stuff I’ve been doing over the last week. I have an awesome massage therapist in town, and ages ago I had made an appointment for today. It just so happened to line up nicely after all the unplanned energy work that has been presented to me. 

Cranial sacral therapy has always worked wonders for my body, but it’s never quite done what it did for me today. Of course, the last time I did it was 13+ years ago and I was not at all aware of my mind body connection.  It was like magic. I was lying there thinking hmmmm it’s not really doing much and then my whole body would go all tingly and I could feel things shift all over the place both energetically and physically. It happened several times, and was pretty wild. 

The Prana Vata issue I’ve been having of my mind racing vanished during my session. A few times I was bombarded by thoughts and then with the crazy tingle there would be what felt like a giant eraser go through my mind and the thoughts would be all gone. Then I was left lying there wondering what was I just thinking about? I have no clue. Even now I can’t remember, but the racing in my mind remains gone. Better step up then meditation to keep this on track. It’s awesome. 

I’m not totally sure what’s going on, but I know the last month or so have been full of huge shifts and changes. And as the universe always does, things have been lining up like magic to make it happen. It’s awesome and it’s my happiness moment. 

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Little kindness

I’m sitting in the gym of a high school watching boys play basketball. As an aside, can I just say that the smell is so bad it makes me want to cut my nose off. Although my school is losing (badly), I have to say that they’re all playing  really well – both teams. They are much less boys out there and much more young men – so big and strong. 

My boy had been under the impression he was playing today and was pretty excited about it. However, when we got here he was told that in fact he was not playing. 

I never did team sports, the only sports parther I ever had was 4 legged and  used to sneeze all over me. I miss my horses… So I can’t totally relate to this desire to want to be part of the team. I have spent most of my life trying to not be part of the team. Like our cat Ella close but no touching. But I kind of get it. I always had a tribe of girls I rode with and although it wasn’t a team dynamic we had a closeness that still holds all these years later. 

At the beginning of the game the boys gathered together in a huddle. Mine was standing a little behind them, not in uniform and feeling a little out of place. Two boys stepped back and opened the circle to include him. One of them did the little rub and pat back rub on him.  

I almost cried. Those little acts of kindness mean so much. They are so easy to do, so easy to forget to do, and SO powerful. It changed his whole demeanour. It was a moment when my heart leapt in happiness. 

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Transformational healing

I am blessed in that I am surrounded by a community of amazing healers. New ones keep entering my life at every step of my growth and what is happening is pretty awesome.

Today I had an appointment with someone who does transformational acupuncture. I don’t even know how to begin to describe the session, but it opened up a whole new path on my healing journey. It made me aware of issues that I’ve been dealing (and not dealing) with for years, it gave me some awareness of how to embrace them and how to work with them.

He kind of “Yoda’d me” with some wisdom. Some very obvious wisdom, but sometime I really need things dumbed down and said very plainly so that I can see how obvious it is.

We were talking about my life over the last few years and the journey of healing and growth that I have been on as a result of it. He pointed out (which I was aware of) that maybe the pain and dark times was to let me know for certain that I needed to strengthen my relationship with God, to walk His path, and to trust in my faith. That faith part has been a big deal the last couple of years. I really have learned that when I trust and have faith in God that he always comes through for me – maybe not in the way I had intended, but always in the way that is best.

But then he said that I needed to be really clear about how I was looking at things. Like when Yoda said do or do not, there is no try – he pointed out that I either have faith or I don’t, that I either am happy or I’m not. There’s no in between. If I say I’m seeking happiness, then I’m not happy. If I’m happy, I’m enjoying my life of happiness, sitting in that moment with it, not seeking it because it is already with me. Same thing with faith – I either have faith that God has a plan for me and that I’m walking a spiritual path with Him, or I have doubt that I’m doing the wrong thing and that He does not have my back. I’ve been filled with doubt – even when I’ve been focusing on my faith. My brain loves to grab all of the what ifs and go crazy with them.

And why do I not always have faith? I know to the core of my soul that God has been holding my hand and walking me through this tornado of pain and emotions that has been raging around me. I feel His love, I know He is there for me. Why do I sit in doubt and fear when happiness and faith is an option? He is offering me peace in the storm and I so often choose to stand fearfully alone in the turmoil.

Seriously. It’s so simple and yet SO  hard.

But, now I am aware of that and my intention is to walk in faith, in happiness, and in peace. I know what it feels like and I believe that we were meant to have both in this life.

And THAT is my happiness moment.  


 

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the ups and downs

I’m not going to lie… today I was in a pretty crappy mood. I did a session of healing light yoga – and while it generally makes me feel good, and always makes me feel better in the long run – today it made me pissy and upset. Love how that energy moves around all those stored emotions and lets them come bursting out. Ugh.

This evening as I was driving the boy home from school we saw a huge fire in the direction of our homes.  I knew it wasn’t our house based on the location, but it looked like either the community hall or my cousin’s place and that freaked me out. We drove as fast as we could to get to where the fire was – it was a trailer that caught fire on the highway. Many phone calls were placed between cousins to find out what was going on, and we were all relived that everyone was ok, the fire didn’t spread, and that it didn’t affect any of our homes.

It kind of put things back in perspective for me though. Not only do I have this home that is filled with love to live in, but we are surrounded this tribe and we all care for and look out for each other. It’s not something that everyone has, and it’s not something that we had for our 10 years spent as gypsies. I’m so grateful for that and I’m so happy to be here surrounded by these people. Happiness moment….

It’s not our thanksgiving, but I sure have a lot to be thankful for. I loved seeing all my American friends celebrate their blessings online today.

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