Tag Archives: family

happiness

Happiness done Ayurveda style

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this path I’m on and wondering where it is going. I know I should not get too comfortable on this journey, but I do feel like some big bumps in the road have shown up lately. These bumps have lead me to really sit back and take a deep look at who I am and where I want to go.

Some of you know about the anxiety I suffered with for years. Part of that was from the constant moving, part was because of deep rooted insecurities, part of it was brought on by the emotional battering I was enduring inside my marriage. Learning about Ayurveda gave me some tools to begin to deal with that anxiety (and all the other stuff as well).

It took me almost 2 years of diligent work to get to the point where I no longer felt like I was going to have a panic attack every time I left the house. I could have conversations with people and not worry that I was going to die of anxiety (literally). I was finally starting to feel like I was going to be myself again. The diligent work included things like – meditating daily, doing yoga, going for walks, reading inspiring books, studying Ayurveda, learning how to sleep, looking for happiness wherever I went. It sounds simple, but it was a big change from the fear based life I had been living.

Then life threw another curve ball my way. In a sudden move the kids and I ended up coming home a year ago because my dad had taken a turn for the worse. My now ex-husband (let’s call him Mr. X) had previously suggested the kids and I should be moving back to Alberta anyway.  So it was already a distant plan, this just accelerated things. We moved back home, were welcomed back into the arms of our family, and two and a half months later Dad died. It was an incredibly difficult and emotional time, but I am forever grateful that I was here to be with him and the rest of the family during his last months.

If you read this blog you know how challenging the next few months were as we learned how to make a life without Dad here. There was lots of joyful moments, but 2015 was a year that I shed a lot of tears. The amount of personal growth I went through was astounding.

Not even 8 months after Dad died, Mr. X closed out our bank accounts and cut me off from all our finances, without discussion or explanation.  I ended up filing for divorce. I felt like I hadn’t even caught my breath after Dad and here I was inside another life crisis.

Over the past few years I have had two major fears. One that I would lose a parent and the other that I would end up with no money. Within 8 months both of those happened to me. And what was the result? Although I still miss Dad desperately, I am still here, I am healthy, and I am so much stronger, kinder, and more loving than I was a year ago. It didn’t destroy me and everything I am learning in this process is making me a better version of myself.

A big part of my ability to find some kind of balance through this year of turmoil has been my Ayurvedic studies. Because of them I have learned how to train myself to sleep (this was a challenge the past few weeks and I had to put all my knowledge to the test to get through it). Sleep is one of the pillars of health, and I know for me that if I’m not properly rested I can’t accomplish anything well. I get more anxious, I am more emotional (but can’t process the emotions), and I am so much crabbier. Also, because of all the emotional turmoil of the past few years, I don’t have a lot of reserves to draw on, so it’s extra important that I stay well rested so that I can find balance.

Through my meditation practice I have learned how to deeply connect with God (or Source, or Spirit, or the Universe – whatever you want to call it). This has helped me calm my mind, it stops those panicked thoughts that run around in my brain saying how will you support yourself and the kids? What are you doing to do? How could he do this? What the frack am I going to do? It takes all those worries and fears and dissolves them. I am able to hand them over to God and then someone else looks after them for me.

I can feel inside my body now where things are balanced and where I need to keep on working at that balance. I have taught the kids how to meditate and how to do basic care to put themselves in balance.

It has changed absolutely everything about how I live my life. It has brought me happiness. Not just laughter, but the deep rooted kind of happiness that comes from living a truly authentic life.

Even with all the bumps of the last little while, I am still a happier, more balanced, more loving person than I have ever been. I have Ayurveda to thank for a lot of that. It has introduced me to a lifestyle that celebrates loving and caring for ourselves and those around us. It focuses on nature and our relationship with nature. It emphasizes the body’s amazing ability to heal itself and teaches us how to support ourselves as we reach to get back into balance.

That I am learning how to do this not only for myself, but that I will be able to guide other people on their healing journeys I consider a true blessing.

My happiness moment today was the realization that I have learned so much and that I am so much stronger and yet so much more gentle and kind. I understand what a huge gift I have been given in being able to heal my life, and I intend to pay it forward to those around me who are also seeking balance.

 

 

Standard
happiness

Just do the opposite 

During my Ayurvedic energy session yesterday I spent some time going through my diet to see what we could switch up to help with my sleep. 

We talked about my love of maple syrup (I am Canadian after all) and Asrael said it was ok to keep that in – if I was chowiig down on ice cream that would be different and we would need to address that. 

So, today after I picked the kids up from school we headed to Mackay’s and I did the opposite of what may be best for my sleep, but we sat outside and ate ice cream. But it’s Mackay’s so that makes it ok right?? So many memories are attached to this ice cream, it is a little like a happy pill. 

  
Then we grabbed my mom and went for a family movie night. What a great way to head into the weekend. 

I have had a huge release of that negative emotion and stress over the past couple of days. I know that we will make it through this and that we are loved and protected. We are attracting wonderful things into our lives. 

Standard
happiness

Raindrops and Lasagne

After having a rather rough start to the day (there’s nothing quite like having those intuitions confirmed), the kids and I were treated to an amazing and loving evening provided by my cousin.

She started by giving us all a raindrop massage. If you’ve never had one, I highly recommend this blissful essential oil experience. After spa time, she fed us her homemade lasagne (which is a family favourite) and we sat and shared stories and laughed.

Having these blessed family moments is what it is all about. We spent so long floating around, isolated little bubbles. It’s so good for the soul to be back around our tribe and people who truly care for and love us, and whom we love and trust. What a happiness moment.

As a bonus happiness moment, I spent some time today telling my story. I have decided not to post it right now, but I am no longer afraid to tell it. You see, I realized that I am no longer stuck in an abusive relationship, I no longer have to not tell my story. There is a lot of freedom and relief that comes with that realization.

Standard
happiness

Monopoly and laughter 

I walked in to the kitchen at my mom’s house today to find her sitting at the table planing an intense game of monopoly with Jenna. Jenna is very good (and very competitive) at games, so playing with her is always lots of fun and very challenging. 

I cooked us all supper and we spent the evening sharing stories and laughing. It felt so good to do in that kitchen that is the centre of the home of my heart. 

It was so nice to have us all shed some of the stresses we have been carrying and just give into the laughter and the enjoyment of each other’s company. A delightful happiness moment. 

Standard
happiness

If you’re going through hell keep on going…

There’s a lot to that old saying laughter is the best medicine. We have been in desperate need of some good belly laughs these past few days.  To say that life is a little intense right now is a huge understatement.

Because things always come to me as I need them, I listened to a song last night that reminded me of the angels (literal and figurative) that I have in my life. If You’re Going Through Hell will be my pick up song for the time being. 

But the good news is there’s angels everywhere out on the street

Holding out a hand to pull you back upon your feet

The ones that you been dragging for so long you’re on your knees

You might as well be free

Its so easy to get focused on the person or thing that is pushing me down, but so much more importantly are those angels who are loving us and helping us up out of the darkness. They have held out their hands and their hearts and are keeping the kids and I in this safe basket of love while we get through this part. Freedom is something I have prayed for for a long time. From now on I know that when the opportunity comes to free my soul I will always take it. And some great advice to all of us as we go through dark times…

If you’re going through hell keep on going

Don’t slow down, if you’re scared, don’t show it

You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there. 


Today we decided we needed a family fun day. Each child brought a friend and we are up in Canmore at the swimming pool (a very cool pool with slides and a lazy river and basketball nets). Laughing with this group of kids all afternoon has been not a only a great happiness moment, but a happiness refocus, as we remember what is important.  Elizabeth Gilbert hit it nail on the head – what is important is to eat, pray, love. I am so thankful that I am on this journey with these amazing humans – my kids, my family, my friends. 

  

Standard
happiness

What is love?

This past year has been filled with so many emotions. The pain and sorrow of losing Dad is still so fresh and there are a lot of mixed up emotions as I work my way through this divorce. 

One thing I do know is that love is the most important thing. I remember feeling in the last few weeks of Dad’s life that all that mattered at the time was love. It’s a lesson I’ve carried with me through this year. As long as I’m reaching for love and for happiness everything will be ok. 

It’s easy to get caught up in all the negativity. Today I realized I need to be focused on all the love in my life. And there is so much. We are so blessed to be here in the folds of our family, surrounded by people who love us just because we are us. 

I have a deep love for the animals who are in my life, both past and present. They have always provided me with grounding, security, and the understanding of what pure unconditional love is. All of our pets are rescued and have had less than comfortable starts to their lives. Yet, they love us (and each other) with unfiltered purity. 

We have a beautiful home in which all of us – humans and animals – live with the secure understanding that the love flowing through will always be there – no matter what. 

Today I passed Abu and Aladdin cuddled up together on the couch. I looked at them for quite a while thinking this is what true, pure love looks like. They are so comfortable with each other, it’s difficult to tell where one ends and the other begins. My happiness moment – witnessing a quiet moment of love between siblings.

    

      

Standard
happiness

We are regulars now

Jacob and I have been enjoying a morning coffee break at Tim Horton’s almost every morning since last fall when school started up. Over these past months we have begun to recognize, and be recognized by, the other regulars who show up every morning.

After so many years of feeling almost invisible or only being known as those Canadians in our travels, I can’t even begin to describe how refreshing it is to now have this deep understanding that we are home.

Moving back here and making Cochrane our hometown again has been an interesting experience. I know Old Cochrane, I was raised as part of that community, my family has called the town home for generations. It’s always been a place I can come to and see neighbours, old friends, family, and other members of the community.

In the 10 years that we were gone, Cochrane boomed in size. The town has grown, there are so many new people, and an abundance of stores have opened their doors here. It has been an interesting experience this past year – showing the kids the Old Cochrane that I know and love so much, and exploring together the New Cochrane that exists now, one that I also hold a lot of fondness for.

Even now when we come into town we always see at least one person we know. The town has maintained a lot of it’s old, small town feel, and we have such a large web of community here. There is always that comfort of being home and in a familiar place. Yet, there is so many new things to explore – new restaurants to try, stores to visit, and people to meet.

The people here are still refreshingly friendly, there are smiles and casual greetings often exchanged on the street. People hold the doors open for each other.

It is home.

We have become regulars. The people at Tim’s know Jacob’s coffee order every morning. The other regulars all know where “our table” is, and we all comment if someone has switched up the seating arrangement. I love watching the groups of people who meet there every morning. There are groups of friends – most of them older – sitting, sharing coffee, laughing, and enjoying a beautiful start to the day. We are now a part of that community.

My happiness moment was sitting at Tim Horton’s realizing that we had this deep sense of belonging in this place we call home. Then I eavesdropped on this table of older men (perhaps late 70s or early 80s) and found they were laughing and sharing stories of running around their yards.  I have no idea what the context was – but watching them doubled over at the table in laughter while they told their tales made my whole day.

Standard
happiness

Kid-knees and whoopee cushions 

Tonight we celebrated the February birthdays in the family – my nephew (today) and my sister (tomorrow). After having missed years of these family celebrations I am continuously thankful that we are here now to participate. Having this extended family around us is so incredibly important in helping guide us and give us that sense of grounding and support 

  
While the entire evening of the family gathering together was my happiness moment, I had a couple of events stick out as especially funny ones. 

The first happened as I was reading a book with my niece about the different parts of your body. We were on the heart page which she was convinced was the kidney. Once she realized it was not (after her mommy confirmed that for her, because she’s still at the age where mommy knows best) we continued searching until we found it. Once we were on the correct kidney page, my niece put her bent  leg up towards me, pointed and said see auntie Melissa? Here’s my kid-knee. Priceless

Next, I walked in the room to find my nephew (who turned two today) jumping up and down on the whoopie cushion yelling fart fart fart over and over. 

There’s nothing like kids to being unexpected and delightful laughter. What a blessing that we have all these cousins around to enjoy. 

In a sentimental moment, I heard my uncle playing with my nephew, and the noises my uncle was making were exactly the sounds my dad made. For a minute I stopped and my heart thought dad was here. But my uncle is like another dad to me – in fact we call uncle dad – and it was so fitting that the laughter and joy were coming from those two. 

Standard
happiness

Less anger, more laughter 

The kids and I stopped for a cup of tea today while doing our errands in town. Our cups came with these life lessons on them: 
There’s a lot about the situation we are in right now that we can’t change. But a lot of these tips for good health are totally within our control. We decided to focus on the last one less anger, more laughter. 

We realized that we needed more laughter to help pull us into a better place. With that in mind we got in the car and began our drive home. We had a couple of stops, so it took us about an hour. During that time we told jokes, acted silly, and laughed until our tummies hurt. You can’t be angry and laugh at the same time. 

I am so impressed by these two. They are brave and strong and so full of love. Silly laughter, a blessed happiness moment. 

Standard
happiness

Light it up 

My kids have a very special bond. Actually, the three of us are an extremely tight unit and I consider that one of my greatest blessings. We have been through a lot and it has drawn us together in a very unique, but strong way. 

They may at times be each other’s worst enemy, but they are also best friends and have each other’s back no matter what. I am so happy for them that they will go through life with such a friend. 

Jenna came from school today with an assignment. They had to create something that lit up and moves. She decided to build a tree of lothlorien from Lord of the Rings. Because that’s in Jacob’s wheelhouse she told me she was going to ask him for advice on how to build it. 

We came into the coffee shop to wait for her lesson and the two of them sat down and brainstormed. It is amazing to listen to them as they’re planning or building something (I sometimes hear this when they are playing minecraft together). 

They’ve figured out how to light it up and are still figuring out the movement. 

Everyone needs a good friend who knows exactly who you are and loves you for it. I’m so happy that these two have that. We are such a blessed little family. A lovely happiness moment.  

Standard