Author Archives: Melissa

happiness

The new story

I visited with someone today who I have a feeling is going to become part of my tribe. I love it when I meet someone and I know that they’re one of my people. And because she’s also a heart based person, we have had deep discussions since the moment we met. As we were talking she said something about how “this is going to be your story”.

It struck me that I am in the process of writing an entirely different story. I am no longer who I was, and I don’t feel like because of that I’m stuck in that place of being someone I don’t want to be. I get to write an entirely different story now.

Every day life is getting better, we are all finding happier ways to live out our story. I still have no idea where this path is heading, but I’m so grateful I’m on it. That is happiness.

And so is this:

 


I still can’t believe he is in my life. Talk about answered prayers.

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happiness

His first day

The boy had a surprise early start to his job and began today. He’s so excited and so proud of himself, I love watching him glow with joy. He loves the place, loves the food, and seems to really like his boss – it looks like it is a great work environment, what a fantastic way to start off in the work force.

I am so happy for him, it was great to hear the stories on the ride home about things that happened during his shift. This is happiness.

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Mucho Burrito

We have pretty exciting news in our house today. The boy went to drop off a resume at his favourite Mexican place – Mucho Burrito – that opened in town just yesterday. He expected to leave it and hopefully hear from them, but to his delight the owner was there and sat him down for an interview.

It looks like my boy has his first job! And his dream job at that. He is over the moon excited and I couldn’t be happier for him. What a fantastic way this will be for him to spend the summer.

Happiness moment extraordinaire!

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Bubbles, ball, and blessings 

We finished off the long weekend with a perfectly sunny day.  So often the May long weekend brings snow,  but this year it was amazing. 

After some yard work we relaxed in our yard and the girl brought out her bubble wands. There is something magical and so relaxing about sitting and blowing bubbles. And so we did. 


The girl had ball tonight in town and it is becoming a social event for the rest of us. It’s wonderful to watch her thrive in her sport. 

We have so many blessings. I have been reminded lately of how important it is to let in the light rather than focus on the darkness. There is a lot of light in our lives – and that is happiness. 

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Reach out

This afternoon my boy spent some guy time with an old family friend. He does not get a lot of guy time – being that he is pretty much surrounded by women in his life – and this was a big deal to him. It’s a good reminder how these little acts of kindness can go a long way to making a big difference in the life of someone else. My kid talked about it all evening, just happy to have spent some time chatting and laughing with this man.

Happiness is best shared, and it was so heart warming to watch these two share happiness with each other. It’s little moments like this that make big changes.

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Garden time 

We got our vegetable garden planted today at long last.  This garden brings a lot of joy for the whole family as we enjoy the benefits of it all summer long. Aside from the food that tastes like food, I find a lot of heart healing goodness in caring for the garden. 

I remember how my grandparents and parents taught me to care for the garden, and enjoy the quietness and soul renewal that comes from weeding and caring for it. Until I totally lose control of the weeds which happens at least once a summer. But that’s part of it too, it’s always salvageable and I can always being it back to its glory. 

I am so grateful we have this garden. It is happiness. 

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Beginner’s mind

Today I read a passage in the book A Return To Love that allowed me to better understand some of the issues I’ve been having both with meditation and with surrender.

In Zen Buddhism, there’s a concept called “zen mind”, or “beginner’s mind”. They say that the mind should be like an empty rice bowl. If it’s already full, then the universe can’t fill it. If it’s empty, it has room to receive. This means that when we think we have things already figured out, we’re not teachable. Genuine insight can’t dawn on a mind that’s not open to receive it. Surrender is a process of emptying the mind. 

I think of how many nights (and days) I have listened to endless mind chatter. Worrying about one thing or another, being angry about things I can’t change, thinking about the past or the future. My rice bowl has been full. When I meditate the bowl empties out a bit, when I have CST treatments it’s like someone turns that bowl upside down and shakes all the old stuff out.

I keep telling God I want to surrender, I want to hand my worries over to him. Yet I have control issues, I think I can handle things myself (FYI, I can’t), I keep my rice bowl full of things that aren’t nourishing me.

I understand better why the meditation time is so important, why I feel so filled after a CST treatment. I have made space in my head for the voice of God. That is happiness.

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Refusal of the call

When you refuse the call from life to follow your dreams, you run the risk of living an unfulfilled and unhappy life. No matter what you do, and no matter what material things you acquire along the way, if you don’t do the things that make your heart sing you will feel an overwhelming sense of dissatisfaction and regret when you get to the end of your life. (Hero. Rhonda Byrne)

All three of us have been home sick today. When I felt well enough, I spent the day reading and praying. I have been working through A Course in Miracles and after having a little chat with God this morning about how scared I was about this part of the path I’m walking on, it turns out that the reading I did today was all about fear. All healing is essentially the release from fear. To undertake this you cannot be fearful yourself. You do not understand healing because of your own fear. I am struggling with faith and fear, but I am very much aware that the only way to heal and to get where I want to go is to trust, let go of the fear, forgive,  and hold on to my faith.

I feel a lot of fear when I think about the fact that I am now completely and solely responsible for not only the emotional, but also the financial wellbeing of my kids. And yet, underneath that current of fear lies this very strong feeling that this is all part of a greater plan, and that if I can listen well and trust fully we will be more than ok. I think it’s our chance to be free and to thrive in an entirely new life. I didn’t work this hard to leave that situation and get us where we are now to give up and fall back into a fear based, miserable life.

It goes back to what I was talking about the other day when I was out with Dristhi and sat in a moment of wonder and gratitude. I don’t know about tomorrow, but at this exact moment in time we are safe, we are loved, we have a home, a car, food – all our basic needs are there. It’s only when I look into the future that I get scared, and the future could bring anything. I need to stay in this present moment when the girl is on one side of me, the boy on the other, cats and dog are happily having naps, and Drishti out in the yard eating green grass. This is the life we have created and it is a very happy life. When I stop and count my blessings there are a lot of them. I can very easily see how God has helped me every step of the way along this journey, so do I have any choice but to have faith that we will be cared for in this part as well? There is a lot of happiness in that.

 

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