Author Archives: Melissa

happiness

If you don’t tell your story, someone else will. 

If you don’t tell your story, someone else will 

I came across this quote this morning while reading an article about the Canadian beef industry. Given my family and background, the article held a lot of interest to me because of the content. But, that quote just leapt out at me and hit me right in the soul. 

I have let someone else tell my story for a long time. Finally after a lot of work and faith building I am strong enough to start to tell my own story. 

My close tribe already know most of it. They have been my angels who have held me up as I have regained my strength and sense of self worth. Many others have just sensed it and have reached in with loving help. 

I have a feeling it will get worse before it gets better, but I also know that I am strong enough to stand in this storm. 

I spent some time doing some energy work this morning with my dear friend and mentor Asrael from Ananda Ayurveda. I can’t express properly the gratitude I have for this wonderful, spiritual woman who had guided me out of my darkness. 

We worked on helping let go of a lot of the painful emotions that are coming my way. I have been putting myself in the path of the strong chinook winds and letting them blow all the yuck out of me – both in my imagination and literally as I stand on the ridge and cleanse my soul. As we were deep in our energy work Ella the Yoga Cat (who loves Asrael and always comes and hangs out when we work together) came by. She punched me in the head, glared at me, then turned and stuck her fancy tail up in the air and marched away. I don’t think she liked the energy I was getting rid of!! Me neither but I’m glad to have it gone! 

This morning I started my happiness moment early as I ran outside in my bare feet and danced around appreciating the beautiful sunrise. Ok, I was mostly dancing because my feet were cold. But it was a glorious way to start the day. A lot of good things are happening.   

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When you start to let it go 

Happiness comes in many different forms, for me it’s so much more than belly laughs and ice cream. It’s that feeling deep in my soul that I’m following my bliss, living my dharma, balanced from within. 

My happiness moment today came from seeing a lightness in my son. He’s been carrying around so much inside and has been slowly able to start letting it out. I’m so proud of him for being able to open up and share his feelings with adults whom he trusts. Watching how he’s learning to advocate for himself makes me incredibly proud of him, and even more secure in the knowledge that he’s one awesome child of God. 

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Digging for gophers 

I was chatting with a friend this morning and at the end of our conversation he said “have a great Monday, make it count”. I have to say that stuck with me today. I was overtired because I didn’t get a good sleep, Jenna was home sick, and it was just kind of a blah start to the day. 

Make it count. Yes, every day should count. Even those blah ones. So I had a quick nap (yay), felt a bit more like myself, did some course work, had a Golden Girl marathon with the girl, walked the dog on the ridge, had an unexpected visit with my aunt, and went in to wish the kids’ grandma a happy birthday. It was a day that counted – very much so- and a good one at that. 

 The Dotted Dog had spring fever today while we were walking. It was beautiful – I didn’t even have a coat on. She ran to every single gopher hole she could find and dug like mad trying to find whatever may be hiding down deep. I love watching the joy she brings to these walks. The freedom she has here has made her so much more complete (and I can relate to that). A dirt filled happiness moment. 

  

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Monopoly and laughter 

I walked in to the kitchen at my mom’s house today to find her sitting at the table planing an intense game of monopoly with Jenna. Jenna is very good (and very competitive) at games, so playing with her is always lots of fun and very challenging. 

I cooked us all supper and we spent the evening sharing stories and laughing. It felt so good to do in that kitchen that is the centre of the home of my heart. 

It was so nice to have us all shed some of the stresses we have been carrying and just give into the laughter and the enjoyment of each other’s company. A delightful happiness moment. 

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If you’re going through hell keep on going…

There’s a lot to that old saying laughter is the best medicine. We have been in desperate need of some good belly laughs these past few days.  To say that life is a little intense right now is a huge understatement.

Because things always come to me as I need them, I listened to a song last night that reminded me of the angels (literal and figurative) that I have in my life. If You’re Going Through Hell will be my pick up song for the time being. 

But the good news is there’s angels everywhere out on the street

Holding out a hand to pull you back upon your feet

The ones that you been dragging for so long you’re on your knees

You might as well be free

Its so easy to get focused on the person or thing that is pushing me down, but so much more importantly are those angels who are loving us and helping us up out of the darkness. They have held out their hands and their hearts and are keeping the kids and I in this safe basket of love while we get through this part. Freedom is something I have prayed for for a long time. From now on I know that when the opportunity comes to free my soul I will always take it. And some great advice to all of us as we go through dark times…

If you’re going through hell keep on going

Don’t slow down, if you’re scared, don’t show it

You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there. 


Today we decided we needed a family fun day. Each child brought a friend and we are up in Canmore at the swimming pool (a very cool pool with slides and a lazy river and basketball nets). Laughing with this group of kids all afternoon has been not a only a great happiness moment, but a happiness refocus, as we remember what is important.  Elizabeth Gilbert hit it nail on the head – what is important is to eat, pray, love. I am so thankful that I am on this journey with these amazing humans – my kids, my family, my friends. 

  

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Walk and talk

My walking time is sacred for me. When I started walking daily in Roanoke I was a total mess. Through my walks I began to find myself again. It put me back in touch with my spirit and with Source, or God. 

I took much of the winter off from walking this year. It was cold and then really icy, but a bigger problem was that where I wanted to walk was where I used to go with Dad. 

These past couple of weeks though I’ve been drawn back to the ridge. I can’t say it’s always been a joyful experience. In fact, a lot of the time I seem to stand where we scattered Dad’s ashes and cry. But I also talk to him. I tell him what’s going on, I ask him advice, I tell him how much I miss him. I sure could use him right now. 

It’s been very healing. Not only with continuing to move through my mourning, but to accept that this divorce is a good thing for me. I stand out on the ridge and let the wind blow all my emotions away. We’ve had some good chinook winds lately, so they’re blowing away at a good speed. 

To keep me balanced, I being my dog. She has no emotions to sort through, she just runs and feels joy. Seeing how intensely she enjoyed today’s walk was my happiness moment. 

  

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What is love?

This past year has been filled with so many emotions. The pain and sorrow of losing Dad is still so fresh and there are a lot of mixed up emotions as I work my way through this divorce. 

One thing I do know is that love is the most important thing. I remember feeling in the last few weeks of Dad’s life that all that mattered at the time was love. It’s a lesson I’ve carried with me through this year. As long as I’m reaching for love and for happiness everything will be ok. 

It’s easy to get caught up in all the negativity. Today I realized I need to be focused on all the love in my life. And there is so much. We are so blessed to be here in the folds of our family, surrounded by people who love us just because we are us. 

I have a deep love for the animals who are in my life, both past and present. They have always provided me with grounding, security, and the understanding of what pure unconditional love is. All of our pets are rescued and have had less than comfortable starts to their lives. Yet, they love us (and each other) with unfiltered purity. 

We have a beautiful home in which all of us – humans and animals – live with the secure understanding that the love flowing through will always be there – no matter what. 

Today I passed Abu and Aladdin cuddled up together on the couch. I looked at them for quite a while thinking this is what true, pure love looks like. They are so comfortable with each other, it’s difficult to tell where one ends and the other begins. My happiness moment – witnessing a quiet moment of love between siblings.

    

      

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We are regulars now

Jacob and I have been enjoying a morning coffee break at Tim Horton’s almost every morning since last fall when school started up. Over these past months we have begun to recognize, and be recognized by, the other regulars who show up every morning.

After so many years of feeling almost invisible or only being known as those Canadians in our travels, I can’t even begin to describe how refreshing it is to now have this deep understanding that we are home.

Moving back here and making Cochrane our hometown again has been an interesting experience. I know Old Cochrane, I was raised as part of that community, my family has called the town home for generations. It’s always been a place I can come to and see neighbours, old friends, family, and other members of the community.

In the 10 years that we were gone, Cochrane boomed in size. The town has grown, there are so many new people, and an abundance of stores have opened their doors here. It has been an interesting experience this past year – showing the kids the Old Cochrane that I know and love so much, and exploring together the New Cochrane that exists now, one that I also hold a lot of fondness for.

Even now when we come into town we always see at least one person we know. The town has maintained a lot of it’s old, small town feel, and we have such a large web of community here. There is always that comfort of being home and in a familiar place. Yet, there is so many new things to explore – new restaurants to try, stores to visit, and people to meet.

The people here are still refreshingly friendly, there are smiles and casual greetings often exchanged on the street. People hold the doors open for each other.

It is home.

We have become regulars. The people at Tim’s know Jacob’s coffee order every morning. The other regulars all know where “our table” is, and we all comment if someone has switched up the seating arrangement. I love watching the groups of people who meet there every morning. There are groups of friends – most of them older – sitting, sharing coffee, laughing, and enjoying a beautiful start to the day. We are now a part of that community.

My happiness moment was sitting at Tim Horton’s realizing that we had this deep sense of belonging in this place we call home. Then I eavesdropped on this table of older men (perhaps late 70s or early 80s) and found they were laughing and sharing stories of running around their yards.  I have no idea what the context was – but watching them doubled over at the table in laughter while they told their tales made my whole day.

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Do what calms you 

Learning Ayurveda has truly changed everything about how I live my life. I look at all the emotional events that have happened in the past year and I know that a few years ago I would not have had the strength to deal with them. 

Now I’m dealing with all of these things head on. Not always in the most effective manner at first, but I’m absolutely walking through all the joys and sorrows of life. I’m a better, calmer, happier version of myself. 

I may not have any idea where this new path I’m on is taking me, but I feel deep in my soul that I have the strength to flourish and appreciate every step. 

A big part of what has helped guide me has been developing a meditation practice. I don’t follow the one I was instructed to (I did do it for a long time). Last May, a little before Dad died, I discovered the Moses Code Meditation and completely fell in love with it. When I meditate along with the music I feel myself being drawn into heaven, or drawn towards Source. It’s often very emotional for me as I feel Dad’s presence very strongly – so usually I spend a huge part of my meditation crying. But I love it, and it makes me want to meditate. 

What’s even better is that the kids also love it. They’re drawn to the music on the same instinctual level that I am, although their feelings and reasons are different. We do it nightly, and I never get any complaints that it’s something they don’t want to do. 

My happiness moment – sharing that time of connection to each other and to our Greater Power. Namaste.  

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Just relax 

Today I cashed in my birthday present – a massage, which was so desperately needed. 

There has been a lot of stress and upset in our house the last month or so. I’m so thankful we have had this happiness journey to guide us as we navigate this new course. It’s amazing how successful it is to change our mood by pointing our focus in a more positive direction. 

I went to this massage therapist a few times in the months after my Dad died, so she was already familiar with a bit of what has gone on in life life over the past year. 

I went in an overtired, stressed out, sad mess – but I left feeling so much calmer, confident, and secure. It’s amazing what a little bit of TLC will do for the body and soul. 

My happiness moment was when we shared a big hug before I left her place. It’s so healing to spend time with someone who is able to help put my being back into a more loving and kind place. 

As a secondary happiness moment, the kids and I cuddled up on the couch and watched The Goldbergs. This show has been a favourite of ours since it came on the air. 

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