Tag Archives: dog

happiness

Fuzzy Lions

Today was a perfect day. I realize as I wrote this, that there have been a lot of perfect days lately. 

I took my Dotted Dog out for a walk tonight along my road – the road I have travelled since forever. I drove on it with my grandparents, rode my horse on it with my sister, chased cows on it with my cousins – and now that we have gone full circle I walk on it with my kids and with my dog. 

There is something about being back here where our roots are that has allowed us to fly again.  

I was thinking as I was walking how much has changed since I started doing my dog walks in Roanoke a few years ago. Then I spent my whole time praying for a better, safer, happier, more loving life. Now I walk and even though I still ask for things, mostly I give thanks for the fact that I’m living a better, safer, happier, more loving life. 

Dottie and I stood for a long time by a field of Sophia’s Fuzzy Lions and I gave thanks for the amazing gifts that have been brought into my life. A fantastic happiness moment. 

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Ain’t nothing going to break my stride

I took the dog out for a very windy walk this evening. It’s beautiful, but those chinook winds mean business today! I have been using the winds lately to help me blow out old, stuck emotions. So I’m actually kind of glad for the opportunity to face the force and let that stuff flow out.

I’m realizing as I let go of past hurts that I have this entirely new life ahead of me. I will be able to live a life where I’m not afraid of the person I live with, where I’m not afraid of what they’re going to say or do. I now can surround myself with people who make me want to be a better person. People who bring love and light into my world and let me reflect my own love and light into theirs. It’s exciting. 

I’m finding it’s already happening. I have been reminded of the awesome tribe of people I already have in my life, and I’m attracting really wonderful new ones in as well.

It’s never too late to start realizing your dreams, and I have realized that now is the time for me to start living mine. It’s a pretty wonderful life I have stretched out ahead of me. 

I’m finding my stride, and discovering my confidence once again. Something that had been squished  under fear and anxiety for a long time. 

I can’t let the fact that I was emotionally attacked for years define who I am any longer. I mean, it has changed me and shaped me to some extent. But I’m not his victim. I am this whole, new person with a deeper understanding of compassion than I ever was before. 

The discovery process we went through was brutal in many ways, but what it did do was affirm for me that my intuitions were right. All those things that I was being told for years and years were wrong with me weren’t my flaws at all.  I have my flaws, but those weren’t them. And now I can let all that stuff blow out of me. It’s not going to keep me from living my dreams anymore. 

My happiness moment was walking the dog along the fields I know and love so well. Letting the winds blow out old junk and welcoming in wonderful, new possibilities. 

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The swans (happiness bonus)

I made Jenna join me for forced family fun time this evening and we went for a walk along the ridge. Although it took some encouraging to get her there, once she got going she didn’t want to stop. 

It was a perfect Alberta spring evening. The mountains were sharp, the cows and calves were eating supper, the deer were out, and we were joined by the visiting swans. I love where we live. 

The naughty dotted dog discovering the deer 

The mountains   
  
The swans.  

Being on this ridge always makes me feel so much closer to dad. I miss him incedibly. The more we get into spring, the more I realize how long he’s been gone. It makes me happy to walk in a place that brought him such joy. 

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Walk and talk

My walking time is sacred for me. When I started walking daily in Roanoke I was a total mess. Through my walks I began to find myself again. It put me back in touch with my spirit and with Source, or God. 

I took much of the winter off from walking this year. It was cold and then really icy, but a bigger problem was that where I wanted to walk was where I used to go with Dad. 

These past couple of weeks though I’ve been drawn back to the ridge. I can’t say it’s always been a joyful experience. In fact, a lot of the time I seem to stand where we scattered Dad’s ashes and cry. But I also talk to him. I tell him what’s going on, I ask him advice, I tell him how much I miss him. I sure could use him right now. 

It’s been very healing. Not only with continuing to move through my mourning, but to accept that this divorce is a good thing for me. I stand out on the ridge and let the wind blow all my emotions away. We’ve had some good chinook winds lately, so they’re blowing away at a good speed. 

To keep me balanced, I being my dog. She has no emotions to sort through, she just runs and feels joy. Seeing how intensely she enjoyed today’s walk was my happiness moment. 

  

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Stretch it out 

I woke up this morning and realized that it was time to deal with the fact that I’ve been ungrounded and out of sorts the past few days. 

Thank goodness for my Ayurvedic training. I’ve already been working at my sleep routines, but today I kicked it all up a notch. I cancelled other plans and put work to the side and spent the morning doing yoga, meditating, and going for a centring walk along the ridge with the dog 

This was the early morning view from the ridge. The moon had already gone to bed by the time I made it out there (this was yesterday morning’s photo)   
Because this was the walk I always did with dad, I stopped by where we had scattered some of his ashes and had a mini meltdown. I could feel him loving and guiding me as I gathered myself back together and carried on. 

As I was walking I was filled with gratitude that we are back in this place that is home – where we are safe and loved. 

My happiness moment was realizing that even in times of turmoil I have learned how to nurture and ground myself. Learning Ayurveda was one of the best things I’ve ever done. 

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Life off the leash 

Years ago I put myself on a leash. I tried so hard to be the person that I thought other people wanted me to be, I  stifled a lot of the things that made me me.  Interestingly enough, the people I was trying to impress with by being someone other than myself either didn’t notice or weren’t impressed. Of course now I know that trying to be someone other than who I really am is an exercise in futility, but it took me a little while to get there.

The unfortunate byproduct of all of this sadly though was that over time of not being true to my self, I lost touch with who I really am. Thus years of anxiety, unhappiness, and tears.

One of the great things about this happiness journey that I am on is that I have started finding myself again. Not all of the stuff I’m finding is fantastic, but it’s all really me. And I’m happy about that.

It’s a beautiful day in Southern Alberta today. Apparently we are in a heat wave – experiencing above average temperatures. It isn’t beach weather, but it’s about +5C which for this time of year is pretty warm. I took the boy and the dog out on the ridge for a walk (I made it both times past where we scattered Dad’s ashes without breaking down in tears…. progress!). I listened to Jacob go on and on about the new Star Wars movie and I watched the dog run and jump in the snow.

Dottie looks like I feel. Poor Dottie had to live life on a leash for 8 years until we moved here where she has the freedom to run. She is an entirely different dog with all the freedom she has. As I’m letting go of the idea that I need to be anyone besides who I am (my leash), I’m feeling more and more like she looks.

Happy.

Freedom

My happiness moment today was walking with my kid and my dog along a ridge where my footprints have been hundreds of times before. I used to ride here, walk with Dad here, toboggan on the hill below here, and I know we have lots of new memories to make along the ridge. Off the leash.

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Happiness mishmash 

I had several small happiness moments mixed all through the day today. I went into our Save On this morning to get something for supper and got bumped ahead in line because I only had a couple of items. When I thanked both the man who let me go and the clerk who suggested it, they said it was one of the perks of living in Cochrane – small town kindness.

Jenna went in to see the head seamstress in the family today to get some help (but also to eat cookies … mmmmm shortbread…. and visit). It warmed me to hear them, heads together, busily planning out her sewing project. There’s a special relationship between grandparents and grandkids and I’m so grateful that she is getting to strengthen that bond.

 

I have put a hard limit on internet at home and the kids have responded by actually playing together and having family time. We watched Charlie Brown’s Christmas, and then Jacob found his track set his aunt gave him a couple of years ago. They spent an hour racing their cars around the track.

About 30 seconds after I took this picture a huge tickle fight broke out with the dog jumping on top of both kid licking faces furiously. That was funny because it wasn’t happening to me…..

I love big happiness moments, but life really happens in these little moments. The ones that don’t cost anything, that aren’t planned out, that just happen because we are alive and we are living in the moment.

 

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Home with this cold… Passing time like sand through the hourglass…

Last Friday the kids kindly infected me with the brutal back to school cold that is making the circuit through town. I tried to get better over the weekend but instead got worse (and worse, and worse…)

I had appointments Monday and Tuesday I couldn’t do anything about, but  yesterday and today I was able to cancel all but the most critical things and spend some quality time on the couch feeling like crap and letting my body recover.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a quiet house to myself and not been busy doing the things that need to be done. I’ve discovered some interesting things in this time:

The Golden Girls talk about sex a lot. I don’t remember that from my youth, but it seems as though the entire show is about getting some.

Taking the vacuum to the window and sucking up the hundreds of flies that congregate there is very satisfying. I’ve developed a catch and release program only because I can’t figure out how to off them in the bag.

What was the plot of the movie Cake? I didn’t get it. I mean I mind of did, but I need the for dummies version to explain some things. I will watch any movie with Jennifer Aniston in it.

After 20 years I’ve started caring again (Lord help me) about the goings on in Salem. Kayla and Steve, Justin and Adrian, Jennifer, John and Marlena, Bo and Hope – they’re all back. Oh I love Kayla and Steve…. and maybe since Jack is dead – unless he comes back too- they’ll bring back Frankie for Jennifer  (I’m so ashamed).

While I can usually beat the kids – or hold my own- playing connect 4 on my phone, when I play the computer at any level besides easy it beats me pretty consistently.

The cats lie around and sleep a lot but the poor dog is bored and wants me to walk her.

Mostly I’m just grateful that I’ve had these days to recover and start to get healthy again.

My happiness moment today was as I was getting ready to get the kids up. The sun was waking up as well and when I looked out the east window I saw this:


Life is good, there is so much beauty in the world feeding my soul. That makes for happiness.

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The path of least resistance

Thanks to the incredible generosity of Jacob, Jenna and I have spent the day sniffling into kleenex and croaking through sore throats. The Great Cold of 2015 has officially swept through our house – hopefully to pass out just as quickly.The good thing is that we were all able to stop and rest and allow ourselves to get healthy again.

With this time on my hands today I’ve taken the opportunity (when not engaged in a Golden Girl’s marathon with Jenna) to observe how Aladdin functions in our house. His passiveness, or constantly choosing the path of least resistance is something I’ve noticed about him since the day he came to live with us. He came to us a couple of weeks after I’d gone and listened to a sermon by a cousin of mine on forgiveness. In this talk, she mentioned turning the other cheek and how it is possible to “win” a confrontation by being non-aggressive and non-confrontational.  I understood the concept, but still had some difficulty imagining it working in real life.

Until I met Aladdin. He is a real life lesson in how this is possible and how it works not only for him, but for those who engage with him.

One of his first confrontations was with Dottie the Dotted Dog. She has been well-trained by Ella the Cat that one does not chase the cat. She knows not to chase the cats at my parents’ house, but she was taught by the other dogs here (and her willing spirit) that the barn cats are fair game. When Aladdin came downstairs for the first time he was greeted by a very excited and curious Dottie. Her ears perked up and she bolted over towards him with body language that said cat, cat, I’m going to chase the cat. Run cat, I’m coming for you! Instead of running, which would have been my natural reaction, he simply lay down and rolled on his back.

Dottie didn’t know what to do. She bounded up to him and he just lay there, paws waving in the air, belly exposed. She stood and stared at him, sniffed him, and then backed away with a confused look on her face. The one and only time she’s ever tried to chase him – he ended it by being a pacifist and choosing the path of least resistance.

What the heck?? 
Dottie does not understand this at all   
 He does this wherever he goes. If something startles him instead of growling or hissing or running,  he stops where he is and lies down. He is not a coward at all. In fact I think he’s quite a trusting and  brave (not so) little guy. Both he and Abu had a rough first year and lived in a lot of uncertainty and fear (I know how devastating those emotions can be on a soul). Instead of being a fraidy cat or being an angry cat he just keeps living his life. He’s social and wants to be around us, so he comes out and hangs with us and deals with whatever that situation throws at him. He has decided that he trusts us and so he does, completely and whole-heartedly. I admire that, it takes a great deal of strength to just keep on being who you are and not retaliating to difficult situations with anger and fear.

By watching him I am learning how to deal with situations without using fear, anger, or aggression. He knows how to diffuse a situation by seeming to submit when in reality that is the last thing he is doing. When Dottie approached him it appeared that he submitted to her by lying down and rolling over. What he really did was gain his power in a non-violent manner by diffusing a difficult and stressful situation in an unexpected way. It not only stopped her from chasing him, but in the process he gained her (an my) respect.

I got to spend a lot of time cuddling on the couch with him (and Ella, who has also decided that since he just cozies up to her purring that she may as well be friends with him), while Jenna cuddled with Abu and Dottie ran back and forth. It was a good sick day and we are both feeling a lot better for the fact that we could take the time to rest and get better.

  
Happiness moment was lying on the couch cuddled up with cats and kid watching Golden Girls. As always I am grateful for the time I spend with them and love that the kids want to share their journey with me.

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Just another day in paradise. 

We have been away from home long enough that I don’t believe I will ever take for granted how wonderful it is to be back here. Every once in a while though something happens that serves as a good reminder as to the blessings we have. 

This afternoon I headed to the Petro Canada to get batteries for our raft pump so we could go to the creek. Because it’s Friday and a long weekend, the line up to the gas station was all the way back out to the highway. So many people heading to the mountains for the weekend. Fortunate and blessed people in their own way. But all I needed to do was grab some batteries, go home, and head down the hill and we were instantly on vacation. 

  
I love this spot. We have swam and skated this creek with Dad all our lives. I’ve spent hundreds of hours riding Pirate through the fields in younger days. It’s a very healing place. A difficult place sometimes this year, but even so a healihg place. A place I’ve needed to be. 

The kids started out on their rafts and were looking around for someone to pull them upstream and flip them. Dad’s thing to do with the kids. In the amazing way children  have of being in the present moment, they figured out a way to take turns flipping each other off. Not the same as it was – a new normal. Since that is what life is about right now it was a good lesson. Learning to love and live in the new normal. 

Dad loved this place so much I know he is looking down on us and happy that we are moving on, finding happiness, living life. Missing him terribly, but living in this new normal. 

It was Dottie’s first time seeing me on the raft. At first it caused her concern, then she decided she had better join me to keep me safe. 

   My loving dog actually climbed right up, stood on me and then shook her stinky, wet dot hair all over soaking me in the process. I love her. 
A happiness moment that lasted all afternoon. Lazy days at the creek. Deep gratitude for this day. We live in abundance. 

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