Tag Archives: faith

happiness

Let’s be Italian today 

The boy very kindly accompanied me to an unplanned doctor appointment this morning. Thankfully I have a great doctor and I think I’ll have some better luck with pain management. One can hope anyway. 

Since we were already in South Calgary it only made sense to go to our favorite place in the city- the Italian Centre. We made the bad choice of shopping while hangry but it’s not like any of it will go to waste. Yum. 

We grabbed lunch at the cafe when we were done and it was like we were transported on a mini vacation. 


The boy said it was like we were in Italy, to me it felt like we were at a bistro in Quebec. I miss our Quebec meals and the culture there. We had some good times, and sure learned how to appreciate a good meal. 

When we got home my mom asked if we wanted to go to Bragg Creek for supper and eat outside on a patio. Off to the Italian Farmhouse we went for another perfect Italian meal. 

And best of all, the chef cut up my meal for me – so it came out looking pretty and I could eat it! 



It was a pretty blessed day. I have to say I started it off feeling kind of sore and grumbly. But seriously – what a lot to be grateful for. Good medical care, awesome food, and my tribe. Life is good. That is happiness. 

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The boy and his bag

I played a little bit with my boy this evening. It’s the first thing we’ve done in over a month that didn’t involve him getting treats. We started playing the friendly game with a dreaded plastic bag. Considering he started out faking a heart attack to get away from the monster I think we did really well. He sniffed it by the end of the evening. 

It felt so good to get to do something with him again – it was good for both of us. And if I can get him so he’s better on the ground that will make things better in the saddle. 

Happiness

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I did it myself 

For the first time in over a month, since I fell off and shattered my shoulder, I was able to put a halter on dear Drishti. It may not seem like a big deal, but in my world it was HUGE. It means I can catch him, groom him, play with him, and start to do some groundwork with him. 

It’s a next level happiness. I love that boy. He makes my spirit feel free. 

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Change the way I tell the story 

I did a lab today with my health coaching course that went completely differently than planned. 

We were supposed to be talking about eating slowly, breathing, and relaxing during meals. Part of that involves doing an emotional check in before eating. 

I said the one time I did the exercise before my meal I had some really unpleasant emotions come up that left me really upset. 

She asked me what they were and I described a little of our family history,  and said that now that we are out of having to live in the abuse that I still have guilt, sadness, and anger. I feel guilty for the kids having the kind of childhood they did, sad that it took so long to get out of that life, and angry that he treated us that way and that I allowed it. 

But I also feel like I carry the feelings he should carry. He doesn’t feel guilty so I feel it for him. I carry his burden when it’s not mine to carry. 

I was reminded today that I can change how I tell my story. I am not his victim anymore – even though he does everything he can to put me back in that position. I don’t have to carry his guilt, that shit is  on him. I find the more months that go by whee he’s not making his payments or only making partial payments the more frustrated and angry I get. It’s the only thing he has to do for his children and he refuses. But I am not feeling guilty for that anymore. It’s a reflection of him not of me. 

Being able to see that from a different perspective and let some of that go – that’s happiness. 

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Pages and ponies 

I did some of my coursework today. I’m learning so much and really enjoying it even though it’s going slower than I had wanted thanks to my shoulder. But slow steps forward are better than none at all. 

I saw my boy this evening and did some quiet   groundwork with him. I’m trying to look at this time as an opportunity to bond and do some schooling on the ground. I wish I was riding – but we don’t always get what we wish for. 

I feel like the last few years have constantly taught me to look for sunshine on cloudy days. 


He’s my sunshine. And a constant source of happiness. 

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Baptism ranch style 

The church held their annual baptisms in the creek at the ranch today. It was at my favourite place on earth and it was fun to see people come to God in what for me has always been a holy place. 


It amazed me how much the water had dropped since the last time I was there. The dam the kids were building a month ago had been totally under water then. Not so much now. It sure has been dry. 

No matter what it’s like,  it’s always my happy place there. 

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A rainbow on a cloudy day

I broke down yesterday and got some pain medication for my shoulder. For the last couple of weeks I’ve used my oils and that’s about it. Unfortunately the pain level was staying pretty high and it was time to do something about it. 

They gave me something less intense than Percocet but with more punch than Tylenol. It seemed perfect. Except my body hated it. I was up all night having a reaction to then meds so this morning there was yet another trip to urgent care. It seems things are sorted out now and I have some different meds to try (ugh). 

We came home, I had a nap, and was trying to figure out how I was  going to feed us when my guardian food angel appeared. A neighbor and friend from church has supplied us with two huge meals already (and some awesome cookies and banana bread). She announced that she had made a meal, was heating it up, and would bring it over shortly. 

Talk about a rainbow on a cloudy day. 

She brought over the best Shephard’s Pie I’ve ever had, garden carrots, and garden beets. With every bite I heard things like “ohhhh potatoes, mmmmm taste the carrots” come from the kids. 

It is so incredibly kind and I am so completely humbled by how we have been looked after. That is happiness. 

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Out of the sling

I had my three week checkup today and I’m happy to say that I’m out of my sling. Still broken, but out of the sling. It’s definitely healing – it’s just a bad bunch of breaks and will be slow to heal. 

Day one 


Today 


So it’s moving in the right direction.  I’m so grateful my body has the power to heal itself. We really are amazing beings. 

I went and bought a new hard hat today so when I can put my saddle on again I’ll be able to protect my head. It probably won’t be until spring as I hardly have any mobility in my arm, but it gives me hope. 

And hope is happiness 

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Girl day 

My girl and I spent a much needed afternoon together. That one on one time is precious and I don’t feel like it happens enough. I know she’s a young lady because I see her all the time,  but when we are alone together like this I am reminded of the depth and beauty of her spirit. She is a wonderful soul. Happiness. 

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