Tag Archives: happiness

happiness

Freezies and summer reruns

It is ridiculously hot in our house tonight. There’s only a handful of days where it’s so hot you want to lie in an ice bath and today is one of them. 

Tonight we are beating the heat by sitting in our living room with fans blasting, eating freezies, and watching old reruns on tv. 

I have had a renewed appreciation for how lucky we are to be here in our safe house filled with love. I’m grateful we are all together, happy, and safe. I’m happy because we can grab these little moments and enjoy each other’s company. Happiness 

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The heart knows 

My lesson for today has been to reconnect with my heart. I’ve been feeling very out of balance for the last week or so and today it was brought to my attention that I’ve been living in my head – where fear lives – instead of my heart – where love is. 

Funny how I had to have a couple of very scary – truly fear filled – experiences to get me out of my fear making head and into my loving heart. 

I can’t make good decisions when I’m making them based on fear. And more importantly, I can’t look after myself when I’m basing my emotions on how others behave. If I’m looking for someone else to fill my needs I’ll always be lacking. This goes from everything from the fact that we still haven’t had a June or July payment (or full April or May) from mr. X, to wanting Drishti to behave as I would like (he’s getting much better anyway). 

I have to be in balance with myself. And balance doesn’t mean control. I’d love to think I can control the outcomes of everything, but I can’t.  And when I’m in my heart I have the faith to trust that the outcome will be the right one no matter what 

I managed to have an awesome ride this morning before it got too hot. This guy makes me work through all these issues because the only way we see going to connect and work together is if I lead from my heart. And I love him, so I want it to work. Heart living. Its happiness. 

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Waterton wellness day

The girl and I drove down to Waterton for the day. This is one of my happiness places, and even if the visit is short like today it does amazing things for my soul. 

The beauty and peace of the place is really something that must be felt, but here’s a little sample of what it is like 


If I ever doubt God’s existence all I need to do is see the beauty He created in the world around us. I can feel His presence strongly in places like this. And that was good – I’ve needed to be rebalanced and regrounded. 

That is happiness. 

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Pretty feet 

My boy got his hooves trimmed today. Despite the fact that he’s been a turd for a while he’s been awesome the last couple of days. He stood nicely for the farrier while he gave him a pedicure. 

The flies were terrible so the guy who is apprenticing with him ended up being Drishti’s personal fly swatter. He was constantly brushing flies away squishing the Mosquitos that were biting him 

I laughed at my high maintenance horse. He means so much to me, he helps me heal, brings me joy, and constantly entertains me. What happiness. 

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Long lost family 

We are having a visit from my cousins ex wife and their daughter right now. I haven’t seen either of them in 20 years, the little baby girl I met is a grown woman, and my cousin in law is just about exactly as I remember. I am really enjoying visiting with both of them. 

We did a little tour of the ranch including a stop in jail. 


This is one of my favourite places, it’s so beautiful and peaceful there. And to share it with them was so much fun. Happiness!!!

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Fondue with friends 

One of my lifelong friends rolled into Alberta today and the kids and I got to join her and her family for some fondue and laughs at the Grizzly House in Banff. 

I love and am so grateful for this friendship. We live a long ways apart, but when we get together it’s like no time has passed. I’ve been lucky enough to get to see her twice this year – once where she lives and today. 

Good friendships carry me through the good and the hard times. They’re some of my most important relationships. And that is happiness 

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Ignore the problem 

Some of you may recall that Drishti has been in bad boy boot camp. Today I went up to Carstairs and watched a pretty amazing cowboy from Guatemala work with young horses. It inspired me to try different tactics with my old horse with a young brain. 

So tonight when I went out to work with him, instead of doing boot camp style and trying to work him out of the problem and overthinking every little step, I just took him out into the big field and rode him. 

Guess what? No freak outs, no spooking, no separation anxiety, just a nice horse to ride. Go figure. 

It’s this trust thing with him. He wasn’t trusting me, I wasn’t trusting him, and worst of all I wasn’t trusting me. I think this will be one of the greatest lessons I learn from him. That I must trust again. 

This was a huge step in my own healing tonight. Walking with my fear but doing it anyway, trusting drishti, trusting myself. It was happiness. 

This is not Drishti, but the man I watched riding this morning. This horse was only started 10 days ago. It’s a gift he has. 

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Canada’s 150th

We spent the day celebrating Canada’s birthday. 

First Canmore for the parade – this has become a really great family tradition 


Then to my Aunt’s house for their annual Canada party. This is one of those sacred family visiting times. 


After going home for a quick nap then it was off for the last family party 


The boy stopped me and said how much he appreciated having all this family around and how great it was to have so many things to do. 

And he’s right on. How lucky are we. What happiness. 

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Saltwater gospel 

Today was one of those perfect summer days. It was hot, and we had time to go to the creek – which is almost all I need for perfection. Add horse to recipe and it’s complete. 

The girls could spend hours at this spot. We are so lucky that this is something we are able to do. I am grateful every day that I was born into this family, here at this spot. It’s just perfect. 

As we were driving through the field towards home, the girls standing in the car, dancing out the sunroof, the song Saltwater Gospel came on. It was the perfect song to take us home. 

As I began being serious about my spiritual journey a few years ago I realized that he God I was seeking I had always known on the back of a horse at the ranch. This was the place I used to go often when I was young with my pony. We spent hours tootling up and down this creek. And in that time I learned to connect to God. I didn’t know what I was doing – but that was it. 

Bringing back those feelings reminds me of peace and love. And that is happiness. Being with the girls as they laugh and scream – more happiness. 

Life is such a blessing. 

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Gaping wounds alongside the steel armor 

I had a conversation with someone last night that triggered off an emotional shitstorm I wasn’t even a little bit prepared for. 

In fact, it threw me into emotions I thought I had long ago dealt with. Pain, hurt, sorrow, and worst of all – inceteible anger with myself for ever having accepted staying in that situation and allowing it to continue. 

I was taking with a healer and friend yesterday about how you heal and deal with something on one level and think it’s done. Then WHAM it hits you on another level out of the blue. It was like that conversation prepared me for the one I had that upset me last night. 

And to be clear, the person I was talking to didn’t say anything wrong, had no intention of hurting me, or has any idea of the affect it had on me. It was completely innocent. 

I was describing it to a girlfriend today, complaining that I couldn’t believe I wasn’t healed yet, and she said:

You have every right to have gaping wounds right alongside your steel armor
That’s it exactly. I’m so strong in so many ways and still have so much healing to do. 

But I talked it out with her and another awesome girlfriend and I think that if I haven’t sorted it all out yet, at least I’ve been able to acknowledge the feelings. That’s happiness 

In a pure and simple happiness moment I got to have a wonderful visit with my cousin who is home visiting. I treasure these moments – sometimes you have to maximize the little moments to fully appreciate them. 

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