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happiness

Regrouping 

Today was a day spent reorganizing and catching up on my life. I feel like things have been so busy lately – a good and happy busy – there has not been enough time to stop and breathe into my balance. I managed to do that a little bit this morning. It recharged me and set me back on my proper course. 

I also spent some time looking at an opportunity that has presented itself for my blog. I’m not sure yet where I will go with it, but it’s pretty sweet to have this fall into my lap. 

Breathing back into my balance – my happiness moment. 

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Thrive in your tribe 

Those of you who know me in real life know that I often laugh about how I don’t like people. And while I do often find being around too many people for too long overwhelming, I am also well aware that I need my tribe in order to thrive. 

A good thing about my tribe is we laugh together about being so introverted we need people breaks on a regular basis – we all get each other that way which makes it easy. And there is the odd extrovert which is also a good thing because they get me in a different way. 

The important thing though, is that we laugh together. More and more I am grateful for my people, and understand the importance of getting together with them and strengthening those bonds. I have a lot of women in my extended family which means I was fortunate enough to have been born with a ready made tribe. We are all realizing how lucky we are to have this built in support system and I can see more and more we are taking advantage of it. 

Today we had a cousin lunch in town which included me and two cousins and my mom and her cousin’s wife. Even when we don’t see each other on a regular basis, we share the same background and have the same kinds of stories. These are some of my treasured relationships. Sharing stories and breaking bread with some of my fabulous women was my happiness moment today. 

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The open door

We have worked very hard to create a home that is safe, loving, warm, and happy. For a while it meant that we kind of shut our space down and kept it a very private and protected place. Now that we are home and surrounded by loved ones, those barriers are able to come down in huge ways and the home is becoming a more open, joyful, free place again.

 

Today I had finally convinced myself to get some housework done and was blasting music and vacuuming up pet hair (ugh) when I looked out the window and saw my aunt standing outside. What a wonderful surprise! She and my uncle had been visiting in the area and stopped by to see if I could join them for lunch. It’s another one of those things I appreciate more after being away for so long – I love that our tribe can just stop by and say hi at any given time. We spent years and years being lonely and isolated from our people. I had a lovely happiness moment enjoying lunch and a visit with my aunt and uncle – I don’t get to see them often enough.

As a bonus secondary happiness moment, cousins joined up at the top of the driveway today after school. It warms my heart to see this group of kids hanging out together. These cousin bonds are so important. My own sister and cousin friendships have carried me through every bump in my life.

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Fireweed 

My dad used to take a group of his friends from church out on an annual wildflower walk in Kananaskis. He was an expert in knowing the names and legends of the local wildflowers. The group organized a walk today in his memory. It was beautiful and a wonderful way to honor him. 

Yellow lady slipper

Paintbrush

My favorite, the wood lily

The boys. My dad used to love teaching them about flowers and photography. 


One of the ladies came to me and asked if I knew the name of a certain flower they were looking at. I didn’t but I was so tempted to answer fireweed. It made me laugh and cry inside at the same time.  When dad would take me out looking at flowers and we would come across one that he didn’t know the name of, we would both shrug and say fireweed.  

It was a wonderful happiness moment to remember and honor my dad this morning. 

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The safe place to land 

I realized a few years ago as I was searching for my safe place to land that the kids were in need of the same feeling. It was a pretty overwhelming realization to come to that I needed to be full time, 100%, without fail, their safe place to land. 

As our family dynamic has changed my role is changing once again, but that need to be their safety blanket remains. I’m not sure where this road is leading, but in this moment and time I’m so thankful that I have the ability to be there for them without question whenever they need me. And I’m grateful that they know this and appreciate the security it provides them with. 

I had an urgent call this afternoon from Jenna at her school – she was not feeling well and needed to be picked up.  This last year or so has been full of reminders of how important it is to first care for the people you love. Everything else shakes itself out. 

It makes me happy from a place of deep gratitude that I am able to be there when they need me. It’s wrapped around the joy of knowing I have people here to fall back on as well. 

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Fuzzy Lions

Today was a perfect day. I realize as I wrote this, that there have been a lot of perfect days lately. 

I took my Dotted Dog out for a walk tonight along my road – the road I have travelled since forever. I drove on it with my grandparents, rode my horse on it with my sister, chased cows on it with my cousins – and now that we have gone full circle I walk on it with my kids and with my dog. 

There is something about being back here where our roots are that has allowed us to fly again.  

I was thinking as I was walking how much has changed since I started doing my dog walks in Roanoke a few years ago. Then I spent my whole time praying for a better, safer, happier, more loving life. Now I walk and even though I still ask for things, mostly I give thanks for the fact that I’m living a better, safer, happier, more loving life. 

Dottie and I stood for a long time by a field of Sophia’s Fuzzy Lions and I gave thanks for the amazing gifts that have been brought into my life. A fantastic happiness moment. 

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Exactly how it’s supposed to be 

Every once in a while there are those days that remind me that life is exactly how it’s supposed to be.  I thank God every day we are home – and a million times more on days like today. 

It’s hot, we had a family branding, I planted the heirloom purple potatoes, we are at the creek. There is very little I need in life beyond these simple pleasures to make me happy. I’m sitting here with Jacob, blowing bubbles and watching the girls swim in the water. Life is exactly how it’s supposed to be. A happiness day. 

Totally got him. I won!!

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Hold out your hands 

I was joined by my girl on my evening walk today. That is always a joyous treat, but tonight turned into something extra special. 

I know as we have reached the anniversary of dad’s death that so many memories have come up for all of us and it seems tonight was Jenna’s turn to process things. 

She shared with me her feelings around the last few days of dad’s life, how special it was to have him home, how difficult it was to send him to the hospice, how powerful it was when we all gathered and prayed after he died. 

She said the most meaningful part of the experience right after he passed was when she was approached by her cousin. She said I walked in and Courtney just opened her hands to me and pulled me right into her heart. It made me feel so safe and so good to know someone who loved me was there to care for me. 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to trust with your heart, to let others hold onto that heart. Listening to her talk made me remember how important it is for all of us to have a safe place to land. 

Walking with my girl and sharing our stories was my happiness moment for the day. 

Jenna took this photo. She said it was like God had made a path home for her. 

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250 party 

Tonight we went to a family birthday party – called the 250 party because the ages of the three men being celebrated adds up to 250 years. 

I was thinking this evening  how lucky we are that we have such amazing men in our family. My whole family is such a blessing and I would be lost without my tribe. It was a fun happiness moment  of celebrating birthdays and laughing and just being in the fold of the family. 


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It’s a year 

We made it through the first anniversary of dad’s passing. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it, but there were a lot of blessings in the day. It was a great way to remember that not only do I have a great tribe, but so did Dad. So many people reached out with love to help us remember him. 

We gardened (one of his passions), had a memorial ceremony for him, and went out for hamburgers. A very Dad approved day. 

I continue to be filled with so much gratitude that God gave me the Dad that he did. He taught me so much and helped guide me to be a better person. 

A few happiness moments today, planting the vegetable garden with Jacob, the memorial service, meeting up with old friends while out for supper, and an evening walk along the river with a friend. There are blessings everywhere. 

My dad

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