Tag Archives: parenting

happiness

Introverts on the road

I think one of the things that allows me to live in my introverted bliss is my evening walk. It is there where I usually come across my equally introverted family and neighbours and get to laugh and visit. A social introvert gathering. We all acknowledge and understand how it works. 

Jenna joined me for my walk tonight and was thrilled as we stopped to talk to three carloads of cousins. She said do you always meet so many people on your walks? No wonder it takes so long. Another reason why it is good to be home, and a joyous happiness moment 

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It’s tomato time 

A very simple and pure happiness moment today. Jacob and I bought a tomato plant. It’s gardening season and we celebrated by eating a couple of tomatoes that were already ripe on our plant. 


It seems the Grinch is going to keep on trying to steal Christmas from us, but we will continue to hold hands and sing. 

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The Coke shirts 

Last year as we began palliative care with Dad, I went to the store and bought matching Coke shirts for him and Jacob. They were always such a tight team those two, and were delighted to have the same outfit (with matching PJ bottoms). 

I was folding laundry this afternoon and pulled one of the Coke shirts out of the basket to fold.  I haven’t seen it in almost a year – I assume it was too painful for Jacob to wear. I was so happy to see it out now. We all seem to be walking into this week with smiles and sorrow. 

Some of the smiles come from remembering my aunts and uncles (his sisters and brothers in law), who along with one of my cousins made the trek out here to see him in his last days. 

Sad as it was, we had so much fun with them. Jacob was so delighted to find out the family gift  is really a thing and that it is something to be laughed about. He still talks about that discovery regularly. He takes pride in developing his abilities. 

The love that was sent to my dad (and us) from family near and far was amazing. It reconnected me with cousins, we shared stories and enjoyed that deep connection that blood brings no matter where you are. 

In a bittersweet happiness moment I sat with that Coke shirt and remembered how much my Dad loved Jacob. 

This is another one of Dad’s photos. Taken along a road that he and Mom used to walk often. 

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Peace within

These past few days have been filled with jumbled emotions for me. I’m nervous and excited about completing my Ayurveda course, I’m being filled with bittersweet memories of where We were a year ago, and I have this deep sense of peace that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. 

Maybe I will never process all of the emotions that filled me at this time last year. Even now, looking back as we entered into the last week of Dad’s life I couldn’t believe we were there. I was beginning to understand that it was part of God’s plan, but I couldn’t imagine life without him. Here we are a year later and I still can’t believe he’s not here. There are still tears shed on a regular basis as I drive back and forth on that gravel road. 

And yet here we are, here I am a year later and so much has changed. I feel like a completely different person and yet more like myself than I ever have. This year of growth has allowed changes in me that have been waiting to burst forth for a lifetime. 

I’m sure the next couple of weeks will be filled with more random tears than normal. They’ll also have me sitting with old memories, happy memories, of things we used to do with Dad. Best of all, it’s his time of year, which makes it easier to get out and celebrate his memory. The wildflowers have appeared, the blossoms are on the trees, there is new life and new hope everywhere. 

My happiness moment today is being with the kiddos and their friends in Canmore. The drive here is always phenomenal, their laughter lifts my spirits, and I have this deep peace in my soul. 

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Camp giggles

I had an awesome energy session this morning. I don’t know how I got through things before discovering this work. I’m so grateful to Asrael for all that she does for me, it’s amazing all the things that can shift so quickly once I put attention to them. We did some big stuff today and I can feel it moving around a lot of old things.

Jenna came home from camp today. She was so excited but also so nervous about going away, and I have spent the past couple of days hoping and praying that she was having fun. I’m not sure when the smile is going to come off her face, but I don’t think it will be any time soon. She loved camp and said she wishes it had been longer. So good!

It’s been a blessed afternoon of happiness moments hearing her tell stories about camp and spending some quiet time snuggling her back into the family space. Man I love that kid.

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Sushi thoughts 

I spent the evening with my boy. When I am lucky enough to get quality one on one time like this I remember what a smart and funny person he is. I love getting to hear what is going on in his head. 

He’s so mature and has the ability to put himself in other people’s hearts to better understand how they are feeling. I feel so blessed to have this loving soul in my life. 

Scarfing down sushi tonight with him was the happiness  moment for the day. 

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Comfort food for the soul

We got back at the search for our family church this morning and went to the Anglican Church in Cochrane. We had a wonderful and warm greeting from members of the congregation as we walked in. I really enjoyed the service and yet as we were going through it I kept feeling like something was missing. One of the hymns we sang made me think of Dad and of course my eyes started leaking (I would like to make it through one church service without crying – it’s been almost a year). As I was trying to quietly wipe my eyes before anyone noticed I realized what it was that was missing.

Being in an Anglican service was like comfort food for my soul. I knew the liturgy, the hymns were all so familiar, even the non stop aerobic workout as we stood and sat was second nature. It was grounding and peaceful and made me feel like I belonged. Except for one thing… it wasn’t my church (although there was no reason for it not to be -these people were lovely and so welcoming).

I’ve been pretty focused on finding a church in Cochrane. I want it to be our hometown and the centre of our lives. But, I realized that maybe what I need at this point of my life is the familiarity of my home church – the one I grew up in. I crave comfort food for my soul. So, instead of trying to recreate it elsewhere, why not go back to the building and the community that gave it to me in the first place? As I was pondering this, the priest started his sermon which was all about making sure that you find time to fill your spiritual needs.

When we left the service I asked the kids how they felt about it. Without sharing any of my feelings about returning to the family church, I said that I had really enjoyed the hymns and Jenna said because they remind you of your old church and that makes you feel at home and safe. Wise words from a child. Jacob then asked why aren’t we just going back to the church where we were baptized and where Grandpa’s funeral was? It’s our family church and where all our big events have happened? (my sister and I were both married in that church as well). I love how intuitive they are as to what will help fill our spiritual needs.

My happiness moment today was the realization that we really need comfort food for our souls and that will allow us to shine our lights a little more brightly into the world.

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Google translate 

I had some unexpected alone time with the boy this afternoon. Between school and our (un)family situation he’s been under a lot of stress lately. Today though, he was back to his regular happy self. I love that version of him. 

While we were driving into town he grabbed my phone and started typing everything he wanted to say into google translate. So, every time I’d ask him something Siri would answer. It was kind of like talking to a ventriloquist holding a dummy. The answers he gave were off the wall funny and completely unexpected. He had me laughing so hard my sides hurt. 

It’s been a tough few months, or a tough year, actually it’s been a really hard last few years. It is so nice that we are getting to a place where we feel the freedom to start to laugh and enjoy life more often. 

It was a great happiness moment today, belly laughing with the boy as he cracked jokes. 

We have so much to be thankful for. Even though I’m still asking God, I find myself thanking God more and more often. 

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Follow your dharma 

I discovered this old blog post I wrote in October 2012 Jenna would have been about 7 and was (and still is) a passionate artist. I still remember this morning very clearly and I’ve kept the paintings that Jenna did in a special book. I pull them out every once in a while when I need inspiration. 

As I’m now entering a phase of my life where I’m listening to my heart and following my bliss this is exactly the kind of reminder that I need. Why are we here if not to do that thing that makes our hearts sing and to share it with the world? 

I feel that way about this journey of healing that I am on. Ayurveda has brought me to a place where I am strong and whole again. What I have learned has changed every single thing about my life both physically and spiritually. It’s put me on a path I never imagined I could take. 


This morning we were doing our daily morning rush. Get up, get dressed, get breakfasts and lunches ready. Feed children. Make sure lunches and homework gets in backpacks. Sign forms that magically appear from nowhere. Yell at dog who is going crazy hoping it’s bus time and she can go for a walk. 

In the middle of this chaos, Jenna sits down at the table where her watercolour paint still sits from the night before. She looks at her paints and her paper and smiles and says “I need to paint, I love to paint, I MUST PAINT.” And sits down, grabs her brush and starts painting furiously. 

It does not matter that I was shoving her breakfast in her face about to bark at her that she needed to be getting ready for school. She needed to paint. And she did. And it brought great joy to my morning. We had time plus some to get all our things done. Yet we also had time to stop and let Jenna paint. Because it was something she must do. Something that makes Jenna Jenna. Uniquely her.

We need to remember to stop sometimes in the chaos of life and enjoy the things that we are passionate about. Or better yet, learn to live from our passions. I am thankful that life has landed me in a position where I now can figure out what I’m passionate about and follow that bliss. 

This gentle reminder of why I’m doing what I’m doing was my happiness moment today. 

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Cadillac ranch 

Today started off as one of those days where nothing seemed to want to go the right way. There were no big disasters, but I just felt really off my game. 

Finally I realized that The Girl had passed some of her cold virus my way and I was just a little under the weather – so much better to realize that than thinking the universe was conspiring against me. A little lie down and I was much happier. 

Jenna had her guitar lesson today. She has taken so naturally to that instrument. It’s a real pleasure to watch her as she learns new songs. This week she decided she wanted her instructor to teach her Cadillac Ranch. 

I went in near the end of the lesson and her teacher was grinning from ear to ear. He said he’d been feeling off all day and was having a terrible time of it, and that playing that song had picked him up and put him in a really good mood. He turned and thanked Jenna for wanting to being such a happy song into class. 

It’s amazing how a relatively small thing like a song can put a shift on a bad day and turn it into a good one. It reminded me that it’s important to pay attention to those small moments because they can be game changers. Listening to them jam to Cadillac Ranch was my happiness moment today. 

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