Tag Archives: parenting

happiness

Fernando

I was in the grocery store with the boy today after we discovered our cupboards were completely bare. We were walking down an aisle when I heard him singing quietly to himself. Suddenly he stopped, glared at me and announced damn you and your ABBA. I can’t believe I’m singing Fernando while I’m out in public. And I laughed and laughed. 

Then we got in the car and the playlist was still on ABBA so I put on Fernando. He looked at me and said ok, but we can’t listen to this after we pick up my friend. I told him if that was the case we better make the most of it. So we car danced and laughed so hard I had to pull over so that I could catch my breath. It was an awesome moment of happiness. 

I got another one later this evening walking with the girls. It was a beautiful sunset with an amazing full moon coming up while the sun was going down. It finished off with fireworks coming from Bragg Creek. Sometimes I have to pinch myself because I can’t believe that after all the crap we went through, we are in this happy life. 

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Pretty toes, lighter heart 

This afternoon Jenna and I finally got around to getting our summer toes done. It’s been a full year since our last pedicure so we were well overdue for some girl time getting our toes pretty. It was a blissful joy happiness moment sitting with my girl and having some bonding time. 

As an unexpected happiness moment I unburdened myself of some things that had been hovering around my heart causing trouble. As soon as I let these worries out I felt the elephant that has been sitting on my back for the last couple of weeks vanish. You’d think at some point I would remember how much holding that in hurts me (and those around me). I need to listen to my intuition more and have more faith – always more faith. 

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Little healing steps 

My boy took a few small healing steps today and I love him so much for it. He prepared himself and once again went in for a therapy appointment  with Mr. X (who failed to show for the last one). I don’t know all the details but it didn’t go well. Still, this brave soul put his heart out there and I love him for that. 

I learned a few years ago from that same person that sometimes what seems like the most painful, difficult heartbreak can actually be one of life’s greatest gifts in disguise. When I looked at the gifts I received I realized I found my renewed relationship with God, my self respect, happiness, joy, love, a return to my tribe, hope…. it goes on and on. Basically I got my life back – but a better version. I hope Jacob finds his gifts from this experience. 

After a little decompression we went to one of our favourite spots to relax and enjoy some family time. My happiness moment was sitting by the creek with my boy just being. I am so incedibly proud of that kid. 

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Healing steps 

Today we took a huge step on our healing journey. It didn’t go the way that we had hoped, but I’m learning that prayers are always answered and that there’s a reason for everything. The fact that my kid took the steps he did despite so many fears shows his desire to heal and be happy. 

I am so incredibly proud of my son. He showed huge courage, strength, compassion, openness, and forgiveness today. The person he was seeking healing with didn’t show up for him, but he learned so much today and walked through it with grace and dignity. He is an inspiration to me and I am forever grateful that God blessed me with his light. 

We have had a huge amount of support from our tribe who have stood beside him quietly showing love while he sorts through what is going on in his heart. 

My happiness moment was one in the midst of deep heartbreak as I saw the level of inner strength that my son possesses within his soul. His faith and his strength will carry him far in life. 

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Mud!

We had a very tiny window of summer this morning when the sun was shining and the rain clouds had been banished. I grabbed the opportunity and spent some time pulling weeds in my vegetable garden. I’m finding that time quite meditative as it allows me time to clear my head, align myself with my Source, and find some gratitude for what is growing. I love it. 

I also tend to get frustrated because I discover while pulling stubborn quack grass and dandelion roots that I am nowhere near as strong as I would like to be. I am so much stronger than I was, but I have a long ways to go. 

Today though was so much easier. The ground is so muddy that the weeds came up with way less effort than what I normally have to give. It was so much more satisfying with so much less work. I had a great happiness moment listening to the radio while clearing out my garden. I’m so happy to see things finally getting to the stage where they can be eaten and enjoyed. 

I had a bonus happiness moment later on when I somehow ended up in the middle of a game of tag with the boys. It was so fun to watch them run and laugh and play in the park. I love that they wanted to include me in it. 

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Secret life of pets 

I had a girl night with my girl this evening. I spend a lot of time with my kids but the one on one time is a bit more rare, so those moments are extra precious. 

We went shoe shopping for her (holy cow, she grows and grows) and then went and saw The Secret Life Of Pets. It was cute, silly, and fun. Exactly what we needed on a rainy night. 

There’s so much that goes on inside that little girl and I feel so blessed for evenings like this when we have the time and can really focus on her and her life. I feel honored that she shares so freely with me. 

Solo time with my girl, my happiness moment. 

A bonus happiness moment was an hour of tea and chatting with him this afternoon. I count my blessings that I have someone in my life who I can talk to so easily and feel so content with. 

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Mama Mia 

I watched Mama Mia this morning. There’s nothing like people singing abba like fools to put a smile on my face. 

The whole day was a nice, quiet, family kind of day. A lot of nothing which in reality is really something. It’s all those little moments of quiet and regular life that are what it’s all about. We are all tired and really needed some time to just recharge a little bit 

We had supper at his place tonight. As we left Jacob said I like him, don’t screw this up mom. I won’t like the next one as much. Watching new relationships form and bonds be made was my happiness moment. 

Also the sunset on the way home. I love Alberta. 

 

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Walk your talk 

On the way through town tonight the kids and I saw a bumper sticker that said the best sermons are lived not preached. 

Those words really hit home today as most of it was spent thinking about integrity and living my faith by my actions not my words. I dispise when people preach at me how I should live,  but their own actions say something completely different. I spent a lot of years living with the ache in my gut and in my heart that comes from that kind of imbalance. I’m certainly not there yet, but I strive to have my actions and my beliefs be one and the same. Fortunately I am now surrounding myself with people who help guide me to this instead of tear me apart from it. 

My happiness moment was a peaceful evening at a dear friend’s home with my monsters. There’s a lot of joy found in a comfortable moment. 

As a bonus we had a beautiful sunset to watch on the way home. In case I haven’t mentioned it – I love where I live. 

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Exactly how it’s supposed to be 

Every once in a while there are those days that remind me that life is exactly how it’s supposed to be.  I thank God every day we are home – and a million times more on days like today. 

It’s hot, we had a family branding, I planted the heirloom purple potatoes, we are at the creek. There is very little I need in life beyond these simple pleasures to make me happy. I’m sitting here with Jacob, blowing bubbles and watching the girls swim in the water. Life is exactly how it’s supposed to be. A happiness day. 

Totally got him. I won!!

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Hold out your hands 

I was joined by my girl on my evening walk today. That is always a joyous treat, but tonight turned into something extra special. 

I know as we have reached the anniversary of dad’s death that so many memories have come up for all of us and it seems tonight was Jenna’s turn to process things. 

She shared with me her feelings around the last few days of dad’s life, how special it was to have him home, how difficult it was to send him to the hospice, how powerful it was when we all gathered and prayed after he died. 

She said the most meaningful part of the experience right after he passed was when she was approached by her cousin. She said I walked in and Courtney just opened her hands to me and pulled me right into her heart. It made me feel so safe and so good to know someone who loved me was there to care for me. 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to trust with your heart, to let others hold onto that heart. Listening to her talk made me remember how important it is for all of us to have a safe place to land. 

Walking with my girl and sharing our stories was my happiness moment for the day. 

Jenna took this photo. She said it was like God had made a path home for her. 

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