Tag Archives: tribe

happiness

Old town

I had an afternoon in town today that reminded me of how Cochrane used to be – you know, when going to town was a social event and you knew almost every person you came across.

I had tea with members of my tribe – soul sisters really. I don’t remember meeting them, they’ve just always been part of the extended family of loved ones. It is such a blessing to have these people who we can go years (in this case a year – it took us a year to get together again!) without seeing but when we get back together it’s like no time has passed. Well, except for the fact that we have to all talk like mad to catch each other up on what has happened. And the little time we had today was not nearly enough for that. Still, we laughed and shared in our precious time. That was happiness.

What a great thing  – to have a visit and to know that we have to do it again soon because there’s still so much more to share and laugh about (it’s a bonus that we all agreed that we have to be home in bed by 9 which seriously limits our social availability. I love that my people sleep). That will be more happiness.

On the way home I skidded into an old friend riding her horse down the road. I had an impromptu visit with her which came with the added bonus of her offering me a horse to ride, and a reminder of her offer to give riding lessons to Jenna. Horses… yay!!! Friends…… bigger yay! Bonus happiness.

I’m so grateful that we have this tribe of people around us. Sometimes life gets overwhelming and really difficult and I feel all alone, but then I look around and remember I’m surrounded by all of these amazing people.  I’ve learned that sometimes you need to walk away and sometimes you need to stand strong and fight your battles. I’m thankful that I don’t have to do it alone.

 

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Recharge

I’ve been noticing lately how incredibly tired I am. It’s like the long, drawn out tired that has been sitting inside my soul for years as I’ve struggled to get to this place – safe, happy, home. Now that I don’t have to struggle anymore I’ve discovered how completely exhausted I am. Those burdens aren’t as heavy, but I haven’t bounced back to where I was before either. I’m in a recharge process and I have to remember that.

Today was spent reorganizing the house a little bit. The season has changed, it was dark when we left for school this morning, the winter gear needed to be brought out. I’m thankful that I have the time to focus on building the safest, happiest home I can for my family. I’m grateful that I can be reminded of how to use my energy and how to recharge myself so I have enough to give.

It was a quiet happiness moment as I pulled out the winter things and hung them on the walls. I decided that come November 1 this year I am putting Christmas all over the house. We will celebrate the love and joy in this family! Plus, I have these really cool Yoda lights and I can’t wait to hang them.

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The sunshine is back

The sunshine has come back into my life both literally and figuratively today. I was pretty happy to wake up and be able to see my mountains this morning, even happier to realize that I wasn’t having that funky feeling I’ve been carrying around the past couple of days.

I guess that’s the nice thing about being bummed out for no real reason, it’s easy to bounce back. I think I’m realizing how tired I got from all the stress of the summer, all the stress of the year… there just has been a lot and I haven’t always honoured how much it has exhausted me.

But, today was sun and smiles again which feels so much better. It started on the way into town – we drove past a family of swans. They always make me think of Dad which is bittersweet. My first thought was how excited he would be to see them, the second one was oh yeah… he’s not here anymore. But then I stopped anyway and shared the moment with him, with the kids, with God. It was a good moment.

from my iphone – I was pretty close to them. 


I got some really positive news from  a cousin who has been dealing with some pretty serious health issues and that was fantastic. It was a moment to celebrate and remember how important this tribe is, how we need to love and support each other all the time, unconditionally, in good times and bad.

And I did my healing light yoga today – that is always a happiness moment no matter what. I love how it puts me into balance, aligns me back with my Source, brings me to peace, and restores my strength. It’s pretty powerful stuff.

So, tonight I go to bed happy. I had several happiness moments today, but best of all I was just feeling the happy all day long. That’s what this is about – having more sunshine than cloudy days. But honouring the storms too – they are what gives the rainbows.

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The Family United

We had our family thanksgiving meal tonight. I think my Thanksgiving curse has finally been lifted as this was the best Thanksgiving I have had in years.

During our prayer my uncle gave thanks for us being a family united – both together and in God. There were several moments tonight where I looked around the table and was filled with gratitude for the people sitting there. This tribe is so unique, so powerful, so loving. I don’t know how it is I ended up being part of it, but I thank God for that every second of every day. It was such a blessing to sit with people who all know each other so well. We are aware that we aren’t perfect, that we are full of flaws, but that we are also full of love and that love always wins. True, unconditional love. A perfect happiness moment.

I sat beside the other lefty – my giggle partner. One of my other cousins said one of our trigger words from The Frantics and we melted down in uncontrollable laughter. Of course, no one else understood what we were laughing about and we couldn’t even stop to breathe forget explain. I was crying, her stomach was hurting – and we kept laughing. All it took was one look at each other at the mention of that word and we lost it. We pretty much have our own secret giggle language which guarantees that we have fun at any get together. That is laughter and happiness.

We had a visitor come to the window right before we ate. It gave a perfect evening an even better Thanksgiving feel.

 

I have so much to be grateful for – we are surrounded by this amazing tribe of strong, loving people and I would not want it any other way. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

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From the East

Our thanksgiving family time has started with a visit from my cousin on my dad’s side. Because they grew up in Ontario and we are in Alberta I didn’t get to see any of my dad’s relatives as often as we all would have liked – yet that bond is still there and so strong. Losing my dad last year seemed to have brought us even closer together as we realize how small the miles can become and how short the time is.

We caught up on what everyone is doing and spent a lot of time talking about a cousin who has been having some health challenges lately. I am thankful for him that he has this awesome support system built in around him and that the treatments seem to be helping out. It’s just another reminder of how lucky I am to be in this tribe, and how important it is that we really stop and love each other. I don’t think at the end of the day much else is going to matter to me besides the people who I loved.

Happiness – sitting in the kitchen (where all good visiting happens) and catching up with my cousin. Here’s to the beginning of a great thanksgiving weekend.

 

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Cake with my mom

Today is my mom’s birthday – being home is still fresh enough that I am so grateful for the fact that we get to be here and celebrate these events with our loved ones. There’s still that weird hole in our celebrations where Dad is supposed to be, but we come together all the same.

We had a family supper that was enhanced with the presence of my niece and nephew. They have been life long friends with my kids and when the four of them get together it’s hilarious chaos. It made the party that much better listening to their strange brand of humour.

I have spent the day thinking about what my mom has given me over the years. She has always shown me constant love and support –  I grew up knowing unconditional love because of how my parents loved us. I knew that no matter what I did or how I behaved they loved me because of who I was. The older I get the more I understand what a rare gift that is. When times get tough, my mom is always one of the first people to come forward and offer to help – no matter what it takes. I have watched her dig deeper than I would have ever thought possible to help out her loved ones. It makes me want to give that same gift to my tribe. There is something magical about knowing that someone has your back all the time – forever – no matter what. She’s also funny as hell.

My happiness moment – gathered around the dinner table – laughing – loving – being together – celebrating my mom.

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The wrecking ball


A while ago I was introduced to the concept of the wrecking ball soulmate. It was around the time that my relationship was coming to an end with my own wrecking ball soulmate.  It’s a perfect way to describe what that relationship was for me. You know, the kind that hits you like a tornado and leaves a path of mass destruction in its wake.

Now that some time has passed and I can look back more clearly I realize how much I gained in that process. It challenged my beliefs (made me realize that there are ones I have that I can’t compromise), it made me sit deep in feelings I hadn’t had for years – good feelings, happy feelings. It made me question who I am and how I want to be in a relationship.

It made me know to the core of my soul that no man is ever going to be the boss of me again. I believe that true, equal partnerships can be formed. I finally know my worth and my value – and that knowledge is not dependent on what anyone else thinks of me. I needed to learn those lessons.

I also firmly believe that there are really, really good men out there. I was raised by one, I am raising one.

I had a long conversation with a childhood friend today. We talked about relationships, life, horses, kids… the whole thing. I filled her in on the last year of my life and we laughed at some of the tragedies and celebrated the wins. Because that’s what good friends do – find the funny and lift you up. This tribe I have…. it’s insane. I don’t know how I would ever survive without them, and I’m so thankful for every single member . Sharing life stories, sorting out things, laughing and feeling peace with her was my moment of happiness today.

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The week before

I always find these days before thanksgiving to be weird ones. I can’t believe it’s been 5 thanksgivings since the one  that changed our family forever. When I feel like it’s taking forever for me to heal and get my shit together I look back at where I was 5 years ago and I realize how incredibly far I’ve come since then.

I’ve realized lately that I am walking into my own power and that no one has the ability to take that away from me anymore. There’s something so healing about finally realizing my own worth and understanding that it does not depend on anyone else’s opinion of me. Sacred trusts can be broken, brutal blows can be intentionally delivered and yet…. that safety and security that I’ve been seeking and creating for so long…. that continues to grow inside of me. Part of that comes from my own inner strength, part of it comes from the fact that I am blessed with this amazing tribe of people who hold me tight, most of it comes from God.

I continue to focus on creating a safe and secure home for my family. Tonight our home has a smell to it that has been missing for a couple of years. I’m baking bread again. Taking the time to slow down and purposely create the life that I want is leading to big changes once again for us. I love that. That is a happiness moment.

The elk have come back to the hay valley and we were greeted by them as we raced by on the way to school. That drive is the most amazing way to start the day.

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Italian Centre and the Village People

The boy and I ended up having a personal wellness day today. He had an appointment with a specialist that was on the other side of town which gifted him the day off of school (it’s a short day Friday), so we decided to take full advantage of it after his appointment.

Because we were fairly close – which means not really close, but we wanted to do it anyway – we headed over to the Italian Centre in the south part of town for lunch. It was crazy busy, but the food makes it so worth it. Because we were at lunch rush time,  there were no tables. As we were standing there trying to figure out what to do, they started putting out places to sit outside. It was 14C and you never know here how much longer the weather is going to hold, so we took full advantage of the opportunity to eat alfresco.

That kid makes me laugh so hard. Like hiccups, tears down my face laughter. Needless to say it was a good lunch. He’s such a strong, gentle soul – I learn so much about the perfect love of God in just spending time with that human.

Me and my sweet tooth…. where do I even begin!


On the way home the YMCA came on and we did some serious car dancing. Well, me more than him – and that was mostly because it started to embarrass him which of course made it more fun for me. But there were glimpses of moments inside his embarrassment where I could see him tapping out the beat and quietly doing the hand movements that go along with the song.

I have so much appreciation and gratitude for the relationship I have with that kid. Lunching and car dancing – happiness moments.

On a different note, I had a conversation with a newer member of my tribe today. She’s dealing with some serious stuff. It’s not really her stuff so much as  that of someone whom she loves dearly. I was so humbled and impressed at how she’s loving and holding him up during his deep grief and troubles. I am so blessed to have so many amazingly strong people in my tribe. If indeed it is true that your vibe attracts your tribe (and I believe it is) I must be on a pretty good vibe because I have awesome people in my tribe.

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Tiramisu in the afternoon

I met my cousin today for a spectacularly wonderful lunch at an Italian restaurant in town (for those of you close to Cochrane – it was The Boot). Life is busy, but we are both at a stage where we are very clearly understanding the power and importance of these close friendships, so we make time about once a month to get together for a visit. This was the first one in a while that didn’t seem like it was rushed (or had sick tag along kids involved) and we could really just sit and focus on catching up with each other.

This kind of relationship is special for many reasons. We have known each other our entire lives, we share and understand (as much as one can) our unique family, we have had a genuine friendship since we were babies, and we have both been through some (very different) shit over the past few years that has made us really sit back and reassess our lives. It’s so nice to be able to have a conversation with someone about anything in my life and not have to explain any back story because usually she already knows most of it.

We talked about everything  today – kids, cows, family, relationships, faith, food…

The food was amazing by the way. And the owner comes from the same small town in Italy that my aunt does which made it extra enjoyable.


We laughed, we rolled eyes, we shared stories, we enjoyed our food, we split an awesome tiramisu…. we really enjoyed the warmth and love that comes from a genuine friendship. My happiness moment.

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