Tag Archives: healing

happiness

4H

My kids have joined the local 4H club and the first meeting of the year was tonight. As a Pony Club kid I never did 4H and was very happy with that, but I sure see the benefits my cousins received from the club 

We came in as new people and knew that one cousin would be here, but it turns out we are related to almost half the club. 

For kids who grew up always just known as the Canadians, and without any real ties or roots where they were living – this is huge. The longer that we are here the more they understand this is home. This is a place where they are loved, and where they belong. 

I’m excited about this new venture. I think it will open many doors for these kids. Happiness 

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Something about this house 

We were walking up to the house after school today and the boy stopped part way up the yard, looked up at our house, and said 

There’s something about this house. I don’t know, it’s the leaves and the snow, it’s just….

And the girl said 

It’s just home. This is the first house I’ve ever lived in that feels like home. It is filled with love and I love being home. 

I sometimes wonder if they miss their lives of privilege. They may have had a lot and lived in nice places, but they didn’t feel safe and secure and happy in any of those houses. 

The fact that this home is here for us and is holding us in love is a kind of happiness I have a hard time describing. This is my kids’ childhood- this is where their foundations begin for the adults they will become. 

Thanksgiving is a hard time for the three of us. It is a reminder of a very ugly incident in our family. And we have worked hard ever since to make happier memories to lay over that painful one. 

And moments like this I know we are on the right path, we will be ok, we are healing, we are finding happiness. 

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Spiritual journey

The boy joined me on an emergency grocery run to town this afternoon – somehow our cupboards became like those of Old Mother Hubbard.

I find the way that this kid’s brain works to be fascinating. At 16 he has already spent more of his life thinking about his spiritual faith than a lot of people do in a lifetime. He questions everything, about every faith, all the time. He has a strong connection to God, and walks with a lot of trust in the faith he’s found there – but he is constantly curious, and continuously broadens his understanding of who God is based on what he has learned.

And then he shares it all with me.

We don’t have a typical 16 year old / parent relationship. I am grateful for that. We talk, we are open, we are honest.

I am loving watching him grow and find himself. I am learning from him as he shares with me what he is discovering. I love that he is constantly working on his relationship with the Divine. Having that as his backbone will serve him well in life.

I am forever grateful that we have a relationship where we can just talk to each other. It’s not perfect, but it’s pretty damn great. It’s happiness.

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Back in the saddle 

September 20 I saw my doctor at the cast clinic and he told me that my bone had healed well, but was concerned because I had very little mobility still in my arm. 

As I left his office I realized two things. One was that I better get my arm moving and two that maybe I didn’t have to wait until spring to ride again. 

I set a goal to be on my horse by September 30. It was a laughable goal because I couldn’t move my arm barely at all and the pain was still keeping me up at night. 

So here we are 10 days later. I’m still up at night more than I’d like, but I’ve increased mobility a lot. And so, this happened this afternoon:


I managed to tack him up myself which was no small feat. Then I lunged the hell out of him 


And when he was finally tired I grabbed my mounting block and went to get on. 

As I stood there on the block  I got super nervous as I realized how totally vulnerable I was with only one dependable arm. 

I called the girl and forced her to come hold him – which she did. 

And I sat on his back. Didn’t even walk around, just sat there for a few minutes feeling the fear, feeling the calm. Both were there. It’s what I love most,  but I have to say I’m a little scared after my last unplanned dismount. 

But mostly I was just happy. Happy I was back on, happy am facing things that scare me, happy I have Drishti 

It was a good moment. 

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Moving ahead, looking back 

My Facebook memory today was of a day I took the kids to the beach in Rhode Island 7 years ago. I actually remember this day well, the three of us drive to Narragansett for lunch and then walked the beach making rock art 


The kids were so little then, they are young adults now. 

That was a very, very good day. A lot of happiness came from the ocean 

Today I also had a happy moment as I’m looking forward. I got 97% on an exam for the course I’m taking.  

Every stage is a good one.  

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The triangle

The kids and I wer standing in line at a store and the girl said something about gone full circle. The boy reminded her that we are a triangle, we three – a strong triangle. 

So she said yes, it’s gone full triangle. 

We are a weird trio and although we may do things differently than a “regular” family – I wouldn’t trade us for anything. 

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The power of a smile 

The boy and I had to go deal with the passport office today (one of my least favorite things to do). The lady who initially helped us was rather a crabby sort and that resulted in me getting flustered, being unable to find the right papers, and feeling a little crabby myself.  

When we had ourselves sorted out we went back and were greeted by a different lady. This one was full of smiles and really went out of her way to help us out and let us know how long the wait would be. 

I felt a shift as we left her and went to sit down. Smiles are powerful, her sharing a little but of kindness and happiness brightened up the place and chased the storm clouds away. 

Remember to smile 😊 

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Get it together 

I had a mini meltdown today as it was the Mondayest Monday ever. As I was feeling sorry for myself and throwing a good old pity party the boy interrupted me. 

He said mom I’m going to talk to you like you talk to me when I’m like this 

For God’s sake get your shit together. Look around, don’t you see what a great life you have? You look after us, you’re a great mom, you’re dealing with all the support issues, you’re learning new things so you can get a job. You pull us up when we are down. Sorry I’m not all rainbows about this- but that’s not how we are. Get yourself together

Dammit he’s right. Having moments of feeling overwhelmed I think is normal, but remembering to be grateful for all be wonderful things in our lives. Those are the happiness moments. 

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Barn mates 

My niece showed up at the door today clutching 3 little furballs. 

One of the barn cats had some babies and now we have these adorable balls of fluff. 

We took them to the hammock and played and cuddled them a little. 

If you’re ever feeling stressed or like you need a smile, I highly recommend playing with a kitten or two. They are happiness 

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Dinner and visits 

We had a family supper with my mom, aunt, and uncle at a great Italian place in town tonight. Fantastic meal that was two and a half hours long. 

The nice thing about a long slow meal is you get a chance to really visit and catch up, and I believe enjoy and digest the food a lot better. It makes me realize how often we rush our meals even when we don’t have to. 

I really enjoyed myself. I was surrounded by some of my favourite people in the world. We talked about how important it is to have the love and support of the tribe. I don’t ever want to be without it. Happiness. 

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