Tag Archives: law of attraction

happiness

Sometimes all you need is a little cry 

Jacob and I took Dad’s clothes in to the Mustard Seed this morning and donated them. We all knew that it was the right decision and that Dad would have wholeheartedly approved (although he would have wished we had got on it faster), but that didn’t make the task any more enjoyable. 

Jacob was my GPS guide which meant we argued half the time when we were  lost in a less than enjoyable part of town. At one point we found ourselves in the parking lot of the Alberta Cheese Factory and seriously considered abandoning our mission because…. cheese. But we kept going. 

A really kind lady helped us unload the clothes and take them inside. I was completely ok until it was time to leave, and leave Dad’s things behind. Then I started ugly crying all over the place. The poor woman asked me if I was ok and I had to say no, that those were all my dad’s clothes and I didn’t want to leave them. Then she started crying and said she’d just lost her dad a few months ago and was starting to go through the same things. I responded with my dad has been gone for a year and we are just now able to do this. I wish I could tell you it gets easier but obviously it doesn’t. And then we stood and cried together for a while until I could leave the building. 

After I bawled for a while in the car and was able to finally drive away (poor Jacob) I realized something I didn’t really like. I could and should have walked over and given that poor woman a hug. It probably would have been good for both of us. I have felt lately that I need to be less sensitive to the actions and comments of others, but I obviously need to also be more sensitive to the needs of others. So, less sensitive to how others affect me and more sensitive to how I affect others. Easy peasy. 


Jacob cracked jokes the whole way home and I laughed so hard I had to pull the car over twice. Happiness moment number one. 

I went to an empowering women gathering in Cochrane tonight which was happiness moment number two. The topic of the evening was balance – which is exactly what I’ve been working at bringing back into my space again. I went with two good girlfriends who make up an important part of my tribe. It’s so essential to my wellbeing to have these women to share my struggles and triumphs with – and to share in theirs. These people who have dumped their emotional garbage bags upside down and aren’t afraid or ashamed of the mess it makes and the work it takes to clean it up, they’re my kind of people. 

I didn’t realize how much I needed being in a circle of women like that until I was there. And I learned a quick and fun rebalancing exercise as a bonus. 

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Letting things go

We finally got started on the task of cleaning out Dad’s closet today. It was difficult and emotional, but a chance to sort through some memories and feelings about loss and letting things go. In the past I have not let go either gracefully or peacefully, it’s kind of a work in progress for me that lesson.

I think Dad would have rolled his eyes at the fact that it took us so long to be strong enough to face the task of donating some of his things. He would have told us to pack it up and get it out to someone who could use it right away. But, I think he also would be so touched that he is so deeply loved that there is this group of people who miss him so much. It makes me think about who I want to surround myself with and walk with me on the rest of my journey. It has become so important to me to make sure those are the right people – the ones who know how to laugh, love, find peace, follow God, know how to give and take, and lift each other up.

I came to a realization as I was sorting through my Dad’s things and mentally sorting through emotions left over by last week’s stellar visit from Mr. X. I have wanted so badly to make things better for the kids, to heal them, to make up for all that they are lacking but I can’t do that. No matter how badly I want to, I can’t make up for the things they don’t have – and we are never going to heal that way. I need to let that shit go. We are an awesome little family, and the fact that some painful stuff has happened does not change that. I need to focus way more on the fact that we are this loving, strong, intact family and much less on any force that has tried to weaken us.

This morning I was lying in bed with Jenna who was trying to tickle me and generally get a rise out of me. Jacob came flying into the room and said oh good, it’s my favourite game. I said what’s that? He answered the bug mom game and leapt on the bed with a pillow to smack me with. Those kids, my family, my life – what a happiness moment.

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Duck duck 

We enjoyed some family time at the creek this afternoon. It’s one of my favorite spots to go – beautiful and filled with generations of memories of good times. 

I loved watching my kids play with their little cousins. How lucky we are that they get to grow up knowing each other and making those special cousin bonds. 

My mom talked about how they used to drive down to the creek when she was little to have Sunday picnics. Then we talked about how my sister and I used to ride our horses there and do the same. I loved that long ride to the creek. Even as a child I knew it was a special and beautiful place. 

There is so much gratitude wrapped up in knowing that we are home and we are safe. We now live so much more in peace than we do in chaos. 

While having supper, a duck family swam past us. The kids got so excited to see them. I was impressed at how the duck parent immediately moved between babies and us to protect the little ones. Protecting little ones is not a small task, and not one to take lightly. Happiness moment – watching the ducks quack by, watching the cousins play 


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What happiness tastes like 

We had a slow Saturday at our house which was so badly needed after a long and stressful week. It was farmer’s market day which is always a treat. We loaded up on cherries, peaches, apricots, nectarines, blackberries, and strawberries. It’s summer heaven at our place right now. 

We had other plans but ended up going home and all having much needed naps. Thank goodness for the luxury of an afternoon nap. It made us able to reset and meet the rest of the day with more energy.

At supper time we found ourselves in Cochrane and decided to try out the new Italian restaurant called The Boot. It was divine. Jacob took a bite of his lasagne and said this is what happiness tastes like. And he was right. Food should make you not only healthy but happy too. 

Today’s happiness moment, sharing a meal with these two. They put so much light into my life. 

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Rebalancing 

Today was a day focused on rebalancing, repairing, and regaining strength. It has been an emotionally exhausting week as I have watched my kids go through so much pain and heartache.  I know they will come through this stronger and wiser, I just wish they didn’t have to go through it at all. 

I remember talking with Dad on one of our walks about his worries about his connection with God. He’d been spending so much time in prayer and meditation, working at making his relationship as strong as he possibly could. At the time we were walking his medication was making it increasingly difficult to keep up his practice and he was worried that his connection was not as strong. We talked about how he had built up a reserve of faith and strength that was getting him through that tough time. 

In a different way I feel like that now. I work to keep my faith strong, but times like this deplete some of my reserves. It’s so important now to fill that space back up so that I can walk stronger on my path. 

So today I rebalanced things. 

I did some yoga and strengthened and rebalanced my poor stressed out body a bit. 

I walked with my cousin in law and dear friend this morning. We laugh and talk about everything – and usually end up doubled over in hysterics at least at one point in every visit. But we also talk about more serious things. So today, along with some giggles, we discussed how we talk to God and what that means to us. Also we talked of how hard that is to do sometimes. I love being able to have such an honest conversation about our thoughts and beliefs. It helps to ground me and rebalance me. 

Then I had more of my reserves built up and had more to give to my kids who desperately needed rebalancing too. We spent the evening together eating supper and laughing with each other. We are a strong little unit but we need our tribe around us to keep us balanced and focused.  

A happiness rebalancing day. Gaining strength, remembering to love each other, working back into peace. 

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Wedding at the farm

We went to the wedding of my cousin’s son today. They had intended on having the wedding outside at their farm, but since we have had nothing but rain for the past few days they had to move it inside. They did a pretty amazing job of moving a huge production into the local community hall. 

What impressed me about this couple was how easy to tell how much they love each other. I could see it in the way they looked at each other and in the way they spoke of each other. The extension of their love flowed to her child and to their extended families. It was so heart warming to see two families so genuinely embrace a union of their loved ones. 

I got to see some cousins I rarely see, sat for supper with my aunt, uncle, which was really enjoyable – and we watched as these two families celebrated together. It was a real honour to be included in an event that was so filled with love. A blessed happiness moment. 

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Just watch out for bears and stuff 

The girls and I finally got back out for our evening walk/bike ride. After it being so dry it has been raining non stop the last couple of weeks. We had a little break in storm clouds and took full advantage. 

Those girls make me laugh so hard. They have such a good time together out on their bikes. They make all the trucks honk their being horns and they play crazy, made up games on their bikes. 

As we were passing a field we saw two bucks quietly grazing. Our presence scared them and they quickly bounced away. 


The girls saw me trying to take their picture and informed me that there was no way my iPhone could take a good photo from that far away. Then they said if you want a good picture of some deer, look closely – here come some now. And they put their fingers up like antlers and proceeded to prance all over the road laughing so hard they could barely breathe. Which of course made me laugh just as hard. Time spent being silly with those two made for a great happiness moment today. 

They rode their bikes a bit ahead of me and as we parted we all did our typical have fun, just look out for bears and stuff. 

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Strength and balance

I love that usually God provides me with food for thought at exactly the right moment. In reality He likely always does I’m just not paying enough attention. I’ve had a few chats  in the last 24 hours that ended up tying things together for me today. 

I had a conversation last night with him about relationships and the roles that people take in them (I love that we talk about this stuff. I am so thankful God put this man in my life). We talked about how ideally one person can bring strength and the other can bring balance into a relationship. 

I went to bed thinking about that and how my life has been the past few years. I have been both the strength and the balance for a long time. While it’s exhausting to do both, I have had the opportunity to discover that I have more strength than I ever thought possible and have found incredible peace through the balance I have managed. 

I’m not naive enough to think I actually did it all alone. I had three key people in Virginia bring me back to a powerful relationship with God who started performing miracles in my life right away. Now I gain added strength and balance from being back in my tribe. They hold me up and walk me through it all. 

Every single time someone tries to knock  me down I will get back up. Every. Single. Time. 

My happiness moment was time spent on the west part of the  ranch this morning. It’s so beautiful and I don’t spend much time out there. Then time spent with him which always makes me happy. Then time with a cousin watching the show bands play. It was a day that had a weird wrench of stress thrown into it, but one where happiness kept showing up all over. I am grateful for that. It reminds me that life is good, that happiness and peace are a way of life that should be sought out. 

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Secret life of pets 

I had a girl night with my girl this evening. I spend a lot of time with my kids but the one on one time is a bit more rare, so those moments are extra precious. 

We went shoe shopping for her (holy cow, she grows and grows) and then went and saw The Secret Life Of Pets. It was cute, silly, and fun. Exactly what we needed on a rainy night. 

There’s so much that goes on inside that little girl and I feel so blessed for evenings like this when we have the time and can really focus on her and her life. I feel honored that she shares so freely with me. 

Solo time with my girl, my happiness moment. 

A bonus happiness moment was an hour of tea and chatting with him this afternoon. I count my blessings that I have someone in my life who I can talk to so easily and feel so content with. 

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The ride home from DQ

We went out this evening for a little DQ treat. I am not exactly sure how the kids convinced me it needed to be done, but they did, and there we were. For some reason when we were there all three of us were cranky and out of sorts. How that is even possible while eating a sundae is beyond my understanding, but it happened. 

On the way home there was an explosion of emotion of gargantuan proportion. My poor little family has been through so much over the last couple of years, and it seems sometimes like there’s been no chance to stop and absorb all the changes. 

One good thing about the bond the three of us has is that we are pretty in tune with each other’s emotions. Even when there’s an explosion it does not last long,  and it’s usually a pretty effective way of getting all the emotional crap out and dealt with. 

I’ve discovered on this happiness journey that true happiness is so much more than butterflies and rainbows. It takes many shapes and often comes out of harder times. My happiness moment today was talking through some deep stuff with my little people. They teach me so much about how to be kind and strong. They show me how to love unconditionally and how to keep faith no matter what we face. I am so grateful for those two little souls. 

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