Tag Archives: yoga

happiness

Tadasana

After a break that was much too long I spent an hour and a half easing my body into Tadasana this morning. I love the gentle yoga I learned at Kripalu and have a cd by Rudy Peirce that I purchased on a visit there years ago. Basically it’s 90 minutes spent getting into mountain pose. It sounds ridiculously easy, but there’s something about those slow and gentle stretches that is so powerful for my soul. 

I find that this yoga that is based on compassion is so much more a spiritual practice than it is a physical one. It’s such an effective way for me to realign myself and connect to my Source. I didn’t realize how disconnected I truly was until I sat in that quiet space. It was awesome and spiritual and happy. I love it. 

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Mountains and meditation 

It seems it was a day of reflection. There’s been a lot of big things going on lately and it was nice to be able to absorb some of it today. 

I know when my inner balance is more where it should be by the actions of Ella the Yoga Cat and lately she’s been all over me. This morning during my meditation she crawled up and lay right across my heart – purring away in bliss. That’s a good sign. 

I took the kids to Banff this evening and got a big mountain hug (and chocolate – a soul hug) because every once in a while I need such things. I have discovered there’s nothing quite as healing as a good hug. 

Mountains and meditation.  My happiness moments for the day. 

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Morning Pages and Sun Salutations

I’ve decided to add back in two routines into my daily life that for me are much like my meditation practice. I often find them a challenge start, but afterwards I always feel so much better having done them. I’m talking about doing Morning Pages and Sun Salutations.

I haven’t religiously done Morning Pages for about 5 years, although I’ve managed to be kind of hit and miss about it over that time. When I was doing them every day prior to that I began to understand why Julia Cameron says they’re a must for boosting creativity. I did Sun Salutations every day for a few months a couple of years ago and then let that practice slip to the wayside, somehow forgetting how great they are at relaxing and stretching out my body. It’s time to add back in that little bit of extra self care and self love.

It’s only been a few days of doing both exercises, but already I can tell my body and mind are getting clearer and happier. Knowing that I can so easily do something that brings joy and peace to my soul is my inner happiness moment.

On a larger scale, I have a completely different, outer happiness moment. It seems as though all of Alberta is pulling together to help the people who have lost so much in the Fort McMurray fire. My Facebook feed is filled with local people and businesses raising money, donating supplies, and even offering homes to the people who had to so suddenly leave everything they had.

I looked at photos of people with their dogs piled on West Jet planes that have volunteered to go up to help people evacuate. It certainly made it very clear to me that whenever possible in the future I am booking with West Jet for all my flights.

For very different reasons, the kids and I came very close to losing everything earlier this year. We were essentially left destitute and if not for the kindness of those around us I don’t know what would have happened. I see this same kind of love and support being shown by strangers all over the province (and other provinces as well) as they’re doing whatever they can to help out. Our smaller scale personal tragedy has left me with a lot of empathy for these people whose lives changed at the drop of a hat.

Image from CTV news.

Image result for fort mcmurray fire

The power of kindness is amazing and overwhelming. It is so easy to focus on the negative, but there really are some powerfully loving people out there in the world. When tragedies like this happen it really lets that love shine through. I feel blessed to be in a place where there are people who will do so much to help out their neighbours. The world needs more of this. It reminds me to shine love and light wherever I can, you never know who needs some kindness. It gives me such hope to see that love really does always win.

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Spring cleaning 

I have decided with the change of season that it is once again time to get rid of those things that no longer serve me. 

Even though I have made a lot of changes over the past few years, and have already done a lot of clearing, there’s still a lot of crap I’m holding onto that isn’t serving me well. So, it’s time for all of that to go. 

There’s a lot of thoughts I need to change. In so many ways my life is more hopeful, positive, and happy – and I want my thoughts to reflect that part of my life. That black poison has consumed more than its fair share of my thinking and I’m done with that. 

So all that fear and hate that he’s sent my way I’m sending back. All the fear and hate I’ve created within myself (and I’ve done a good job of that), I’m releasing into the universe. I don’t need it. I want to think about the swans, the laughter of the kids, smiles from friends, and all the other glorious things the world has to offer. 

There’s a lot of material junk I’ve got sitting in my house that is no longer of any use to me as well. Some of it isn’t even mine. I don’t need to be holding  onto things that I’m not using, or that don’t bring me joy and have sentimental value. They’re all getting stacked up to go. 

I went through my Facebook and contacts and got rid of people I have lost touch with or aren’t friends with anymore. The clutter of old acquaintances who I will likely never talk to again was really filling up space. I want my world full of people who bring brightness into my life. 

My happiness moment was stretching this morning in my yoga class. It was during this class that I realized that I have so much I need to let go of. It feels good to surrender some of that. 

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If you don’t tell your story, someone else will. 

If you don’t tell your story, someone else will 

I came across this quote this morning while reading an article about the Canadian beef industry. Given my family and background, the article held a lot of interest to me because of the content. But, that quote just leapt out at me and hit me right in the soul. 

I have let someone else tell my story for a long time. Finally after a lot of work and faith building I am strong enough to start to tell my own story. 

My close tribe already know most of it. They have been my angels who have held me up as I have regained my strength and sense of self worth. Many others have just sensed it and have reached in with loving help. 

I have a feeling it will get worse before it gets better, but I also know that I am strong enough to stand in this storm. 

I spent some time doing some energy work this morning with my dear friend and mentor Asrael from Ananda Ayurveda. I can’t express properly the gratitude I have for this wonderful, spiritual woman who had guided me out of my darkness. 

We worked on helping let go of a lot of the painful emotions that are coming my way. I have been putting myself in the path of the strong chinook winds and letting them blow all the yuck out of me – both in my imagination and literally as I stand on the ridge and cleanse my soul. As we were deep in our energy work Ella the Yoga Cat (who loves Asrael and always comes and hangs out when we work together) came by. She punched me in the head, glared at me, then turned and stuck her fancy tail up in the air and marched away. I don’t think she liked the energy I was getting rid of!! Me neither but I’m glad to have it gone! 

This morning I started my happiness moment early as I ran outside in my bare feet and danced around appreciating the beautiful sunrise. Ok, I was mostly dancing because my feet were cold. But it was a glorious way to start the day. A lot of good things are happening.   

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Stretch it out 

I woke up this morning and realized that it was time to deal with the fact that I’ve been ungrounded and out of sorts the past few days. 

Thank goodness for my Ayurvedic training. I’ve already been working at my sleep routines, but today I kicked it all up a notch. I cancelled other plans and put work to the side and spent the morning doing yoga, meditating, and going for a centring walk along the ridge with the dog 

This was the early morning view from the ridge. The moon had already gone to bed by the time I made it out there (this was yesterday morning’s photo)   
Because this was the walk I always did with dad, I stopped by where we had scattered some of his ashes and had a mini meltdown. I could feel him loving and guiding me as I gathered myself back together and carried on. 

As I was walking I was filled with gratitude that we are back in this place that is home – where we are safe and loved. 

My happiness moment was realizing that even in times of turmoil I have learned how to nurture and ground myself. Learning Ayurveda was one of the best things I’ve ever done. 

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A mind – full meditation

My meditation practice is still a work in progress. Meditation is something that I have been drawn to and curious about since discovering that I love yoga. But it’s also something I’ve been hesitant to do and slow to love.

I flirted a bit with it over the years, but it wasn’t until I became a student of New World Ayurveda that it actually became a part of my daily routine. And, let’s be honest here, a lot of the time it only is part of that routine because it’s a graduation requirement. Sometimes I like it, a lot of the time I hate it, often I am bored by it, always I feel better because of it.

When I first started I was so filled with anxiety that I couldn’t do more than a few minutes before having a panic attack. My body and soul was in such distress that I couldn’t take that quiet time. It took a lot of time and a lot of determination to keep going and get through that.

Interestingly, now as a byproduct of all that hard work (and some other things learned through Ayurveda), I barely think about anxiety at all anymore. I’ve made such enormous changes in my life and I’m hardly ever anxious.

However, usually I still struggle through my meditation practice. I’ll be focusing on my mantra and then instead of slipping into the blissful state I feel I should be heading towards, my mind goes to….. hmmmm what should I have for lunch? Did I get the kids all the things they needed for school? Is the dog going through the garbage? She’s such a naughty dog. I should take her for a walk, I hear the cats moving around, is there a mouse in the house? I’m hungry. Is this almost over? Why am I not all blissful? And then some real life problems are always mixed in.

I meditate for 20 minutes at a time. When I’m getting ready to meditate, I wish that I could maybe only do 5 or 10 minutes… but the course says I have to do 20. Grumble grumble. But, it’s not until the last 5 or so minutes when my brain usually lets go of all its crap and I relax into a proper state.

Today’s meditation was a wild ride. Unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I’m focusing on letting go, allowing, trusting, loving, listening to my heart. It’s all very challenging for me as I have a hard time trusting and because of that a hard time allowing. Although I am also painfully aware that I never am able to actually accomplish anything positive by forcing and controlling. I know the only way to get where I want to be is by surrendering and allowing.

Today though everything just went into this beautiful space and I was able to let things go and find a lot of freedom and peace. It was a beautiful moment in time that created an incredible amount of healing and strength for me. That was my happiness moment today.

 

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Play fetch with me

Ella the Cat definitely lives life on her own rules. She has a strict close but no touching law that she forces us to abide by. That means we are allowed to be close to her, but we can’t touch her unless she deems it to be acceptable. 

Today she decided it was a day to play fetch. She has many little stuffed mice, but her favourite is a little torn up purple one. Everywhere I went today she followed and dropped the mouse beside me, then looked up with her big eyes, ready to play. She truly plays fetch and runs after the mouse and then brings it back and drops it by me. 

I did 90 minutes of yoga today (yummy) and every time I turned there was that little mouse. Ella climbed all over me meowing as she went play with me!

I did house work and course work and that mouse showed up everywhere I went. 

I am so grateful we attracted her into our lives. She was exactly who we needed (she won’t admit it, but she feels the same).  

  

 Playing with her is very therapeutic, I have to just drop everything and enjoy her having fun. It made for my happiness moment today.  

  

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The Hills Are Alive

I woke up today feeling a little agitated, I’m not really sure why – probably has something to do with not enough sleep and too much sugar the past few days (plus a few wild emotions thrown in). I decided to really take the time this morning to take care of that and calm myself as much as possible. I spent some time on my elliptical and then did a wonderfully peaceful90 minute yoga class. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I had an encounter with another human being. Unfortunately for him, it was my son who came home all upset about something. Tempers flared and soon we were yelling at each other. Fortunately Jacob and I are pretty fair and kind fighters with each other and we each quickly put ourselves in a time out to calm down before coming back together and working it out.

Somehow during all of this it seemed that my sister was picking up on my vibes of needing to get outside and blow off some steam. She texted me that she was going for a walk and invited me to come. That was exactly what I needed. We headed out on the ridge where we used to walk with Dad, and where some of his ashes are scattered. It is still kind of emotional for me to walk along there, but it also helps me to feel closer to him. Gill and I ended up having the exact kind of talk that I used to have with Dad on that walk… we talked about the kinds of people we wanted to be, a little about our faith, a little about our friends, mostly we just shared company.

We walked up and down the ridge until we were both feeling relaxed and happy and then we went home. I went over to see what my kids were doing and was delighted to find them watching The Sound of Music, my all time favourite movie. I got to sit down and watch the end of it with them, and we were joined by my mom and sister and her kids. A family viewing.

A double happiness moment today, first being out in our hills walking with my sister and then watching Maria and family escape across theirs to safety.

  

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A little bit of grounding

Grounding myself again is something I’ve been seeking for the past few years. I firmly believe that a lot of the problems I had with my feet a few years ago were the result of me not feeling like I belonged, or like my feet were firmly planted on the ground. I’m sure it’s part and parcel of a lot of the issues I’m dealing with right now.  After a lot of work and praying my feet are better, but that feeling of grounding is still a work in progress.

It has gotten a lot better since we have come back home. Living in a family home with a view of the barn that I spent my childhood in has really helped with that cause. But, still I notice that usually my feet don’t feel like they’re firmly planted on the ground so to speak. The other day I wrote about my yoga practice, and since then I’ve been dedicating some time every day to my gentle yoga (it’s a by an instructor I was lucky enough to have lead a few classes I’ve been in at Kripalu). Basically I’ve spent the last 5 days working on mountain pose. You would think that an hour and a half spent working into one pose would drive one bananas, but it turns out that’s exactly how long I need to get there properly (well we do a few other things, but the objective is getting to mountain pose).

Today I noticed as I was working through the final stages of the class that my feet felt different. They were touching the ground in a more firm, centered, balanced way than they have since I can remember. Almost like they were grounded. Which of course is one of the objectives of mountain pose.

My happiness moment today – a little bit of grounding, it’s a good thing.

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