We had a family sush supper tonight for my niece who turned 15. I am aware it makes me old, but I can’t believe how fast these kids are growing up.
But they are all amazing humans and I am honoured to share my life with them.
It was a fun supper. And I sat beside my uncle and got to have a little catch up which doesn’t happen often enough.
This tribe – its happiness
I picked my boy up from work and we had to go try Donair Poutine at Donair On The Run – it’s their new special. And who knew it would be so good!?! That place is addictive. It’s so awesome that we have found a place we love, that serves good food, and is pretty darn cheap.
Cooking these days is pretty much impossible, and we have been so lucky to have people drop off food, but we have also snuck in the odd meal here.
One thing about this broken shoulder is it’s really forced me to have quiet time. And with that has come a lot of quiet time with my boy. And I love that. It’s happiness.
My day started and ended with special time spent with my boys.
My human boy took me to the farmer’s market so I could fill up on fruit and so he could fill up on waffles.
I miss having a teenage digestive system.
The evening I spent with my equine boy. We are working on bonding which sometimes feels like just me spoiling him. But in reality I’ve only had him for four months and we’re still getting to know each other. The more I get to know him the more I love him.
I’ve been kind of wore out the last few days for keeping focussed on the things that are important really helps me keep going.
And these two boys – they are happiness.
Over the last two weeks almost every single day a meal has been provided for us my friends, family, or neighbours. It is so humbling and I feel so incredibly blessed.
This morning I went over to my moms place and the lady who helps look after her was cooking some food for my mom’s return. I told her what an incredible gift it was to have all of this food ready and organized. I said until the last couple of weeks I hadn’t realized what a big difference it made when you were overwhelmed or injured or unwell, having your meals ready. It’s just one less stress and one less thing to do – it’s a huge gift.
It’s a good reminder to always pay it forward when you can. And it was a moment of happiness.
The boy joined me this evening for an impromptu girls’ night supper at the donair shop. I’d like to think he came because he loves me, but he came for the donairs. And at 7$ how can you go wrong?
Interestingly though, he really enjoyed himself. He laughed at the silly stories right along with us, and jumped in with a few of his own.
As we were walking back to the car he said now I get why these girls’ nights are so important to you. They’re hilarious.
I am so grateful for my girlfriends. I don’t know how I’d get through without them.
That is happiness.
The handle came off our screen door a while ago. Like a long while ago. Sigh.
We went to the hardware store today and got a replacement handle and the boy decided he was going to fix it.
Sometimes I feel bad that I can’t show him how to do that kind of stuff It fate lumped in with sometimes I feel sad that he doesn’t have a live in male role model.
But you know what? You have to deal the hand you were dealt and our hand is still a winning one.
He laid out the instructions (this is how you know he was switched at birth) and figured it all out himself.
Because of the somewhat sideways nature of our house, there are a couple of glitches, but he did a great job.
I am so incredibly proud of the man he is becoming.
When we walk to the car he runs ahead and opens the door for me so I won’t hurt my arm. He is just a good soul.
And that is happiness.
We spent part of the day making sense out of the chaos that the house has become. It feels good to have some order again, better in every way. It amazes me how clutter causes me anxiety, yet clutter comes naturally it seems.
I appreciate so much how well the three of us can work together. It may not be the family I had always dreamed of, but I also couldn’t ever wish for better kids – so it’s the family I need.
And now we have a little more peace of mind. It’s one of those little things I can control. I feel it of control the more I see the support payments fall behind, the more I wonder about the future, but when I focus on the present it is all good. It is happiness.
My soul sister brought out supper tonight for a girls’ night in. I continue to be humbled by the way people are stepping in to hold us up.
When bellies were full (oh so full – there’s something about Italian food that sits so well in the belly) and kids were gone, we moved to the couch for some girl talk.
Omg the stories. At one point we were both laughing so hard our tummies hurt and I was crying. I love laughing until you can’t breathe properly. What a great feeling and how lucky I am to have a friend like this.
This is happiness.
Today I was listening to Saltwater Gospel on my drive home (I am doing short drives now, which is awesome) and I got stuck on the line I’m as close to God as I can get.
I love this song because to me it speaks about finding God outside of church. I remember years ago talking to my pastor about how I only found God outside of church, and with her wise words she reminded me that I know who God is because I learned about him in church. So, I think both are important.
For me, my Saltwater Gospel is found on a horse. Always has been. It wasn’t until I actively started seeking out spiritual guidance, grounding, and started practicing meditation that I realized all of this I intuitively knew from my time on the back of a horse.
And I thought of Drishti in the field. This boy I waited so long for, who I prayed for, who came to me through a miracle. I’m really sad I can’t ride him, like heartbroken. It seems so unfair that I just get him and I hurt myself so I can’t ride.
But you know what? He’s still here. We still can work on our bond. Being with him is still as close to God as I can get.
A couple of times in recent years I have had body issues that have forced me to stop and make a total reassessment of my life. The last time it happened with my feet, it made me change my life into the one I have now. If I hadn’t literally been stopped in my tracks a few years ago, I never would have connected with God the way I did and found the strength to get where I am – home, safe, happy, free.
There’s a lesson in this one too. I just have to stop and pay attention to it. The last few years have been so filled with sorrow, trauma, and stress – maybe exactly what I need is to be forced to just stop and listen and get as close to God as I can get.
Happiness ❤️
I had a lot of different love emotions today. This would have been my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary, that brings some joy and some sadness. I miss Dad, I’m sad for mom, I’m sad that I won’t ever have a 50th to celebrate either. Im happy they had and loved each other, I’m happy they provided a safe and loving family for us to grow up in.
On that note, I was at the grocery store today and the checkout lady commented on how amazing my kids were at helping me out. She said I bet you’re a single mom. Those kids look like they know how to pitch in to make a family work. She went on to say how just when she starts to think there’s no hope for the future she sees kids like mine and she knows it will all be ok. They are fantastic humans and I’m always glad when other people see how brightly their lights shine.
My mom’s cousin and her granddaughter made us home baked buns and cookies and we stopped by their place to pick them up. The more I get to know this lady the more I really like her. She’s a rare gem – a very kind heart. I got home and some neighbours dropped by with roasted chicken and vegetables.
I am well loved. I am actually overwhelmed by the love. That is happiness.
And to keep it real, Jacob saunters in the room gnawing on a chicken leg and says
If this is how we eat when you’re injured, imagine how we’ll eat when you kick the bucket.
Lovely. But it al goes back to my tribe. You look after each other in the good and the hard times.
