Tag Archives: divorce

happiness

The stubborn gene

If you know me or my people in real life, then you know that the stubborn gene runs deep in our genes. Sometimes it is a good thing – it has created a group of incredibly strong people – sometimes it is not so good – because…. stubborn – sometimes it is just funny.

Tonight Jenna came home and found the back door locked. She went to the window near where Jacob was sitting and started knocking on it and yelling at him to go open the door. He yelled back that she should go to the front door, which was open, and the same distance for her to walk. She refused, wanting to go in the back door. She continued banging and yelling, he continued yelling and refusing. I sat on the couch laughing my butt off at how incredibly stubborn they both were being. It went on for a good 10 minutes before there was a break.

In an interesting turn of events, Jenna gave up and came in through the front door. Usually in a battle of wills Jacob gives up first, preferring the more passive route. It was hilariously funny and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

I had a spontaneous lunch today with a cousin in town. I love that we are back in a place where I run into my tribe on a regular basis. It was lovely to catch up with her and share some laughs. Our bond runs deep, and my lunch time with her was a moment of great happiness.

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Basketball 

After a year of hoping and practicing, the boy had tryouts for basketball today – and he made the team. He’s had a pretty rough year and he so needed something positive like this in his life. I’m incredibly happy and so proud of him. He really dedicated himself to getting more skilled for this year. Heart happy happiness moment. 

Things are getting happier and happier in my little family. It’s a long road of healing, but we are on it and it’s getting better all the time. 

Jenna and I had to stop and admire the sunset on the way home. And then she had to listen to me do the whole can you believe we live here? Look at the mountains thing that I do so well. 

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Cochrane light up

Jenna and I made it for the tail end of Cochrane Light Up this evening. The timing was actually perfect as we had a few minutes to look around at the booths, stand by the fire, smell the hotdogs (but not eat… yuck), and go to Mackay’s to see the gingerbread houses, before it was time for the fireworks. 


Last year was kind of a difficult time. There was so many emotions floating around I had a hard time getting as Christmas happy as I’d like. 

But this year…

This year we are going to whoop it up. I love Christmas and we have so much happiness to celebrate. So much to be grateful for. 

Walking Main Street Cochrane with Jenna, the start of the Christmas season – happiness moment parfait. 

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Third chakra stuff 

I did some Healing Light Yoga today focusing on the third chakra. I did this a week or so ago and it made me realize some pretty amazing things about my emotional energy. This time was probably as profound, but in a totally different way. 

I love that somehow I have ended up in this place where I can really play with how this energy works. It’s something I’ve always been aware of, but have been so in awe and uncertain of it. I’ve been kind of afraid to experiment  much with what that energy can do until now. 

Feeling the different energies move and shift as I worked with them today was my moment of happiness. It’s all part of this Ayurvedic healing journey and I’m so grateful for I’m on it. 

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Changing the rules 

I’ve been having a discussion lately with someone who has been making me think really hard about all of the rules, barriers, and safety measures I’ve had to put in place over the last few years to make myself feel safe. It’s been feeling for a few months like big things were changing and shifting in how I live my life and I’m starting to realize that it’s time to shake up those old, no longer needed rules. 

The fact that I’m secure, happy, and grounded enough now to even be able to consider shifting old beliefs that are no longer serving me is a happiness moment beyond what I can even begin to describe. It’s led me to an entirely different and more exciting way of looking at things. It’s pretty cool. 

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Energy Shifts

I’ve been doing a lot of energy work lately. This morning I had a massive shift and some understandings of these blocks I’ve been struggling with finally became clear. With the clarity is the knowledge of how to move them, shift them, let them go. 

It’s a really big deal in my healing journey. I’m pretty excited about it. 

It’s been kind of fun to play with this energy a bit. I’ve got a much deeper understanding of what it is and how it works for me as I’ve been focusing on it over the last coupe of weeks. 

It’s one more step on the journey, a little move ahead in my healing, and a whole lot of happiness. 

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Sitting with the memories 

Today Dad would have turned 76. I still can’t believe it’s been a year and a half since he died – I keep expecting him to walk in the door like he was just away on a trip somewhere. Except Dad would have never, ever gone away for so long and left us behind if he hadn’t been called by God.

I’ve been sitting with the memories of Dad today, it’s been a bittersweet happiness moment, but I wouldn’t trade my memories for anything. I really didn’t realize until much later in life how extremely fortunate I was to have been gifted the Dad that I had. I grew up kind of assuming that every father was as involved in the lives of their children as my Dad was.

I have a lifetime of memories of Dad being such a strong influence in my life. He made sure we went outside and played hard, he often got up at the crack of dawn and caught nasty ponies for us to take to shows, he taught us not only work ethic – but how important it is to love what you do, he showed me how important it was to live with integrity, he showed me what it was like to live life with an open and loving heart.

I miss him so much. I miss him for me, but even more I miss him for my kids who really, really need to have the influence of a man like he was. And then I realize I can still show them that through stories of what he was like, they have their memories, and they understand that we live our lives with love and integrity because that is how he taught us to be.

What a legacy to leave behind – how amazing to have so many people whose lives he touched, who miss him, who love him. It makes me really think about the kind of person I want to be and how I want to be remembered. It is so important to live life being true to my values and my heart. I’m so grateful that God opens doors for me, and that He closes some doors for my own protection.

My dad……..

 

he was allergic to horses, and I’m not even sure how much he really liked them, but he sure spent a lot of time around them because of his daughters. 

there are so many memories of him reading to us in this old (maybe even corduroy?) chair. When he was done he would grab us and make many failed attempts at hauling us all up. It always resulted in giggles and in us pleading for more. And you see – there he is with Torts the cat, whom he was deathly allergic to and yet loved so much.

always the first kid down the hill

teaching his grandson to skate on the slough. I have many childhood memories of skating around this slough with Dad – it was so fun….

If you were looking for Dad, you could always find him doing whatever the kids were doing. Actually, usually he was the one dreaming up the fun.

I love this photo. Jacob and my Dad had such a special bond. 

teaching Jacob how to ski – these poor Southern children had to be taught all about snow every Christmas.

Probably the thing Dad loved the most was being at the creek. I think he would have spent the entire summer there if he could have. 

You can’t see him, but this was his greatest Dad/Grandparent trick of all. Flipping kids over on their rafts – he was known by the grandchildren as the Creek Monster. This always brought shrieks of laughter. 

Happy Birthday Dad. We all miss you so much.

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Meet the teacher 

The boy went very unwillingly with me to parent teacher conferences today. He pointed out that no other kids had to go and only because he has a damn helicopter mom he had to show up. It’s not like it’s a new thing, I’ve always made both kids to go their conferences. They have the most to gain from learning what their strengths and weaknesses are. 

Secretly that boy likes that I care how he’s doing and that I make him be involved and accountable for his learning. But I pretend I don’t know that. 

My moment of happiness today was hearing his teachers tell me what a joy he is to have in their classes. They all seemed to know and genuinely like him (a huge benefit of a smaller school). They see him for the great blessing that he is and appreciate his quiet kindness. 

Of course there are things to work on, he’s not perfect. But it’s always so nice to hear other people who spend a lot of time with him say what a fantastic human he is. 

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Canadian Tire on a Sunday evening 

Nothing is quite like an evening stroll through our Canadian Tire in Cochrane.  There’s always something certain to capture our attention and entertain us. This time did not disappoint. 

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The boy and I were laughing so hard we could barely see. I love this store. So much happiness. 

I had a different moment of happiness this morning a happiness bonus – an overnight visit from a cousin on my Dad’s side. It has been such a blessing to get to know her better. Those family ties are strong and with all the shared history it makes for a lifetime bond even though we grew up on opposite sides of the country. It brings me a lot of happiness, I know it would for my dad as well. 

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Walking with the swans 

It was another beautiful afternoon here and I took full advantage of it by taking my Dotted Dog out for a walk. 

The swans were all over the place – lots of them on the slough, but also many of them flying around. They would circle around and around me while  I was walking, and of course that made me think of Dad. 

I’m sure he’s with me more right now as we get closer to his birthday. The change of seasons also has me thinking of him as well. But the swans were always his thing. He used to take us out there when we were little to look at them, and sent me so many photos of them in later years. 

I found some of his swan photos in my email. He was such a talanted photographer and  his photos are a wonderful legacy left for us to remember him by. 

Thankfully we don’t have all this snow now, but it’s a fantastic shot he took 

One of my favorites 

This is how they were circling over my head today. 
It was a happiness moment that brought me close to my Dad today as I walked with the swans. I miss him so much – i miss him even more because my kids needed him so badly. But there’s a reason for everything and above all I have faith. 

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